NCFM member Steven DeLuca article “It’s not about the fish” featured in Cancer Resource Center of Mendocino County newsletter

May 10, 2012

By Steven DeLuca

Recently, Rita Martinez, “Patient Navigator” for CRCMC sent me information about the fly fishing program titled “Reel Recovery” for men with cancer or cancer survivors.  Although fishing isn’t my thing, I decided to go, on Rita’s recommendation.  The program took place at Clear Water Lodge in Fall River Mills, CA.  This is one of the most beautiful settings one can imagine.  The meals, the gear and the lodging were all free.  If I were writing a MasterCard advertisement I would add, “the counselors and guides: priceless.” These men, with decades of fly-fishing experience, traveled hundreds of miles to share their skills with men with cancer.  The counselor joked about men in the past who had thought of leaving early to avoid the “time share pitch” – a pitch that never came.  The first day of fishing I felt much the same way. Fly fishing seemed too complicated, too much expensive gear was needed, and it took up too much time. However, by the second day I changed my mind.  The reasons for the change are too numerous to list. In two days, the participants went from strangers to a band of brothers.  I will see several again, including men that tried to teach me to get the fly to land where they could easily put it.

……. There were nine of us; groups are never more than twelve.  Men who could have filled those three empty spaces missed out.  The age range can be from young to very old.  I saw great differences in education, politics, religions, and more, but we hardly noticed these differences.  We focused on what we had in common: We all “got it.” We got that life is short and then you die – leaving friends and family behind to grieve.  We got that rich, or poor, PhD’s or cowboys, the feelings are the same.  We got that some of us were destined for painful deaths while others might escape, and we got that there is no way to know for sure who it will be. We knew that men who had been through the program recently and signed their names to fishing vests, were gone.  There is horror and there is hope.  That’s life.  And then we worked on “getting” our ABC’s of fly-fishing from the men who knew it all – from A to Z.

Read the rest of this wonderful article here:




Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Google Buzz
  • LinkedIn
  • Orkut
  • Twitter

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Hey, if you like or hate this post please tell us why. Here's your chance to comment.

donate now blue

See NCFM Wayback

waybackmachineOver the years millions of people worldwide have visited a National Coalition For Men website. Also over the years the site has changed dramatically, been taken down, moved, and otherwise uprooted. In those processes much information was lost, not recovered, and does not appear on this site. However you can see earlier versions and many of the extraordinary accomplishments of NCFM back to 1996 by using the WayBackMachine. In the search box type

Bookmark this site if you are a college student or parent who cares about the children regardless of their age…

a voice for male students

IMPORTANT – This is an example of what some of our elected officials want for the general population.

Are Things Really Equal?

Girlwriteswhat on ideological feminism and its impact on our society and culture

campus hate speech

More on the war against males in education

This explains why our politicians do stupid things about domestic violence

The Richard Fine Saga and Family Court Cartel

Interview with Erin Pizzey, the women who started the domestic violence shelter movement

Click on the picture below for Erin’s website


Other MUST WATCH Videos


Great place for discussions about men’s health

national coalition for men
Driscoll Would you meet me half way cover

Great Resources for Abused Men

  • Male Survivor, Overcoming Sexual Victimization of Boys and Men
  •, provides resources for pro bono and legal services attorneys and others working to assist low income or disadvantaged clients.
  •, helps low and moderate income people find free legal aid programs in their communities, answers to questions about their legal rights, and find forms to help with their legal problems.
  • Shared Parenting Works has parenting plans and other resources.
  • Walk a Mile in HIS Shoes resources for abused men in Canada.
  • One in Three Campaign resoures for abused men in Australia.
  • Stop Abuse for Everyone, one of the most comprehensive and oldest sites dedicated to victims of domestic violence. The site was recently upgraded with the assistance of NCFM. The site includes an interactive map of north America for helping to find shelter services that might or do help abused men.
  • More great resources for men and those who care about men. Ask your elected officials if they do.

    Men's Health Network

    Protect yourself! Get the book!!

    %d bloggers like this: