NCFM VP Marc Angelucci, Esq., DV Awareness Month Op-Ed printed in prestigious Los Angeles Daily Journal

October 13, 2012
By
domestic violence

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. So, please be aware that domestic violence is not gender specific. In fact, just as many, if not more, women perpetrate domestic violence on men than do men on women. Then there’s female on female domestic violence… hard to blame that on men isn’t it.

The Los Angeles Daily Journal, which is the primary legal newspaper in California, last week confirmed that they scheduled for publication Mr. Angelucci’s op ed below in yesterdays edition… for DV Awareness Month.  Unfortunately, the Daily Journal is subscription only so there is no link we can provide to the published article.

By Marc E. Angelucci

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. And on Oct. 4, President Barack Obama made his yearly speech to raise awareness about this serious problem in the U.S. Unfortunately, like other presidents before him, his speech only referred to victims as “women,” leaving male victims and their children invisible as usual.

When Obama mentions our soldiers fighting overseas, he rightfully says “men and women” to include the minority. Why don’t domestic violence victims don’t deserve the same dignity?

Numbers shouldn’t matter. All victims, male or female, should be recognized. But it is worth mentioning that male victims are not a tiny number. According to the Centers for Disease Control, more than one in three women and more than one in four men have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime, while one in four women and one in seven men have experienced “severe” forms of the same.

I became an advocate for male victims over 10 years ago when my best friend’s wife, an alcoholic, repeatedly assaulted him when she was drunk. She would punch him, kick him, throw furniture at him and even try to stab him. He refused to hit back because he knew he would be arrested. He did not want his wife arrested. And he couldn’t afford to take the kids anywhere else. So he and I called several domestic violence shelters in Los Angeles. But none would help a male victim even with just a hotel voucher or counseling. These were state-funded programs that men pay at least half of the taxes toward. Rather than help all victims, they referred male victims to the remote desert community of Lancaster where a shelter called Valley Oasis sets aside one home for battered men. That was too far for my friend and his kids who went to school in Alhambra. So the violence continued. Eventually he called police and she was convicted. Then he obtained a restraining order and had her kicked out of the house.
While nobody was seriously hurt, the psychological harm to the kids is immeasurable.

Eventually I filed a lawsuit on behalf of four battered men against the state of California, which resulted in a landmark appellate decision holding it is unconstitutional for the law to exclude male victims and their children from state-funded domestic violence services. This was a step in the right direction, but was not enough. Enforcement of the decision is still weak. Thankfully, the Los Angeles County Domestic Violence recently approved an official task force on male victims.

Abraham Lincoln, John Wayne, Humphrey Bogart, Al Green, Phil Hartman and Chuck Finley are among many famous male victims. And I’m hopeful that one day all victims will be treated with the same dignity and respect regardless of sex. Nov. 19 is International Men’s Day, and I invite people to do something on that day to raise awareness about this long neglected side of domestic violence.

Marc E. Angelucci is an attorney and the vice president of the National Coalition For Men.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

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One Response to NCFM VP Marc Angelucci, Esq., DV Awareness Month Op-Ed printed in prestigious Los Angeles Daily Journal

  1. Howard on October 13, 2012 at 9:17 PM

    Very well said Mr. Angelucci. Biden and Obama are a disgrace to humanity when in this century they would rather further their agenda of feminist kowtowing instead of helping all victims of domestic violence. As you stated, it’s always “men and women” except when it comes to recognizing male victims of domestic violence. I only wish I could comment in the newspaper as well.

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Great Resources for Abused Men

 
  • Dometic Abuse Hotline for Men and Women, based in Maine, offers 24-hour hotline: 1-888-7HELPLINE (1-888-743-5754) and may be offering shelter services.
  • Valley Oasis in Lancater, CA has offers shelter and other services for men and their children. 24-hour Hotline: (661) 945-6736.
  • Family of Men Support Society, Calgary, Canada, shelter and support services.
  • Male Survivor, Overcoming Sexual Victimization of Boys and Men
  • probono.net, provides resources for pro bono and legal services attorneys and others working to assist low income or disadvantaged clients.
  • LawHelp.org, helps low and moderate income people find free legal aid programs in their communities, answers to questions about their legal rights, and find forms to help with their legal problems.
  • Shared Parenting Works has parenting plans and other resources.
  • Walk a Mile in HIS Shoes resources for abused men in Canada.
  • One in Three Campaign resoures for abused men in Australia.
  • Stop Abuse for Everyone, one of the most comprehensive and oldest sites dedicated to victims of domestic violence. The site was recently upgraded with the assistance of NCFM. The site includes an interactive map of north America for helping to find shelter services that might or do help abused men.

More great resources for men and those who care about men. Ask your elected officials if they do.

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File a Federal Complaint

If you have specific instances of discrimination against male domestic violence victims by any government-funded DV program anywhere in the U.S., please send all evidence you have to the following federal agencies as a complaint, and state that this violates United States Code, Title 42, Section 3789d(c)(1). Give them as much evidence as you can. They are supposed to investigate it. After several months you may get a letter back saying there is "insufficient evidence" and that they need more information such as dates and times of the discrimination, names of the programs and contact info, names and contact info of witnesses, documents or records, and a detailed chronological narrative. So, re regarding evidence, the more the better. You can send the complaints by email, mail, or both. Send them to: Office of Civil Rights Office of Justice Programs U.S. Department of Justice 810 7th Street, NW Washington, DV 20531 Office of the Inspector General inspector.general@usdoj.gov oig.hotline@usdoj.gov

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