#Gays Against Feminism: Because gay people are not feminist property

November 6, 2015

Note: The following opinion piece is by NCFM member Dean Esmay. It does contain some harsh and angry language, mostly by gay men angry at how they and their straight male friends are treated:

A gay friend online recently gave me this:

Gay Card

Since I’ve stood up for gay rights since back in the early 1980s, I’ll take it. And use it without apology.

Back when there was an actual social and political cost to being gay-friendly (let alone gay) I almost certainly would have been beat up badly had I shown someone that card. That was back when it was socially acceptable to beat the crap out of a gay man just for being gay. Or suspected gay. It was when being friendly to “faggots” and “dykes” and “trannies” all by itself could also get you hurt or fired from your job.

I do not want to make it out like I took a bullet for anybody. I did not, although I did once rescue a drunk gay man whose abusive boyfriend had gotten him liquored up and then left him stranded miles from home with no money in a tough working-class blue-collar bar. He was sweet and affectionate and kept hitting on guys, so I took him literally under my arm, cuddled him a bit, told him to stop trying to kiss me, and said, “come on man, let’s get you out of here” and took him home and put him on my couch where he promptly passed out. The next day we went to his boyfriend’s house and while the boyfriend was away I helped him clean his shit out and find his car keys so he could go stay with friends he trusted.

It was a long time ago, but those working class people–including the women–might well have crippled or killed him with their fists and feet if I’d left him there.

(And no, I had no idea who he was. I still don’t to this day, I never saw him again. But he was grateful, and if you’re out there, pal, I hope you’re good and safe and figured out how to avoid abusive relationships.)

So if you ever wonder why I’m almost completely immune to hateful feminist bigotry and disgusting attempts at shaming, and am 100% comfortable in the company of gay, lesbian, bi, whatever people, bear in mind that I remember fully and vividly how informal vigilante lynchings were something most people would just look the other way at–if it was a gay man.

(Oh, and shout out to my Gamergate and general geek culture homies: it was Science Fiction that taught me to see people as human first and whatever else they were second. To Hell with anyone who hates geeks and nerds and calls them “misogynists” or uses “gamer” or “geek” as an epithet.)

There are also those who pretend gays and lesbians always had it as bad as each other. As a rule, they did not.

Now absolutely, lesbians would often take horrible harassment and would occasionally be hurt, even killed, and sometimes mutilated like the gay men were. But as a rule, it was gay men–yes, the gay men–who were getting thrown in jail, thrown in mental hospitals, raped by “fag” bashers (yes, that was and is still a thing), sometimes even castrated, lobotomized, hung, or just plain beat to death. Sometimes, 100% legally.

Often by, or at the behest of, women. Not just men.

When you watch or read histories of the Stonewall Riots, it’s fascinating to watch how hard they will generally work to move lesbians up to the front of the story, even though it was overwhelmingly gay men who were being most brutally persecuted.

Carefully read the in-depth stories of how the first Stonewall riot began, and you will discover that at the very beginning, at an underground gay club, during a police raid a cop tried busting a lesbian for being among the other “criminal” homosexuals, and she was somewhat roughed up as they tried to put her into a paddy wagon. She asked for help from her fellows, wondering aloud if they were going to let the police arrest her. The cops were immediately mobbed by gay men coming to her defense.

Let that sink in: the riot began with gay men coming to the defense of a lesbian. There is of course nothing wrong with that–the cops were violating her human rights after all–but it shows how the male protective instinct toward women is part of even most gay men.

Remember that the next time you hear about men’s inherent violence, or hear yet another radfem insist that gay men are misogynists–which they frequently do.

Feminist Hate of Gay Men 3
Feminist Hate of Gay Men 2
Feminist Hate of Gay Men 1


The above of course are just examples. There are countless other examples of feminist homophobia and racism, which can also be found right in the classic 2nd wave feminist texts. So if someone tries to tell you that hating gay men is new to feminism, it’s not.

And if they try to tell you feminism is better now, just look how feminists treat gay men who reject feminism today.

And what’s so fascinating about the racism and gay-hate that’s been part of feminism for decades is that feminists and their apologists automatically behave as if these were statistical outliers, and therefore “not real feminists.”

I’m sorry, history does not support this. Just as there were people who joined the Nazi Party (yes, I just went there) who didn’t particularly hate Jews, the misandrist assumptions of 1960s and 1970s feminism fell just as much against gay men as they do today, if not more so.

Feminism has always been a movement that treats gay men as disposable. It still is. If you’re a gay man and you refuse to suck feminist dick, there will be consequences. Those consequences can include shunning, harassment, expulsion, job loss, and more. You may even be physically attacked. If you doubt it, start asking non-feminist gay men about their experiences. You’ll hear tales of their careers being torpedoed, their work being removed from publication, physical attacks, false allegations, and more.

For that matter, start asking non-feminist lesbians about this (which is something that Robert Stacey McCain should do a better job of, hint hint Stacey). A lot of them will have stories of abuse and harassment from feminists. And yes, that includes mainstream, respected feminism, not just “radfems.” In fact, I think we should hand it to the hardcore radfems: they are fully aware of their hateful bigotry and embrace it. The non-radical feminists just, 9 times out of 10, accept bigoted feminist lies about little boys and the men they grow into without ever questioning them.

And that’s all men they lie about–which includes gay men as well as men of every single race.

And yes, my gay friends, this should be something you remember: feminism is implicitly racist. It always has been, for it is an inescapable conclusion of their “Patriarchy” theory (or their new favorite word, “intersectionality”) that not just gay men, but black men and brown men and “yellow” men often and routinely rape and brutalize women, or just laugh at the brutality and accept it–for real and not as dark humor or sarcasm or irony.

Indeed, ask a feminist some time to explain to you how “rape culture” works in the Black and Hispanic communities in North America. Watch how fast they change the subject or try to call you a racist for just asking that question.

And so now we finally see the rise of gay men who fight feminism, not just in private but in the wider world, with the growing and fearless #GaysAgainstFeminism.

Feminists Hate of Gay Men 4

A smart gay man should avoid feminists like he avoids any other kind of religious bigot. It’s heartening to see more and more gay men standing up for their fellow men.

Gay men owe you nothing, feminists.


And you don’t get to play the race card anymore either, honey. The smart queers and dykes don’t care what color your skin is if you’re a bigot. And more and more of them are not just starting to feel it. They’re starting to say it. Without apology.

Feminist Hate of Gay Men 5

They are finally saying it without apology, because they know: they owe no apologies for it whatsoever. And the race card won’t work any better than the vagina card.

Because feminism is a hate movement. And it doesn’t care who it hurts.

Note: To find more on this small but growing movement, use Twitter and find #GaysAgainstFeminsm.

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6 Responses to #Gays Against Feminism: Because gay people are not feminist property

  1. Simon on November 7, 2015 at 3:21 PM

    A straight man claiming to speak for gay men. Sorry Dean, youre as bad as you think feminists are. At least they have a record of supporting men, unlike Men’s Rights Activists.

    • Aeon X on November 9, 2015 at 11:53 AM

      Simon, as the gay man who gave Dean that little card so long ago, let me be the first here to tell you where to shove it. The reason I gave Dean this little virtual token is because I believe he has the right to express his opinion on whatever topic he likes, gay or not. Gay men do not own the rights of free speech when it comes to homosexuality, nor are we immune from criticism (and shouldn’t be). As such, a woman of color has no right whatsoever to have her opinion be above reproach from a straight white man or any other person for that matter.

      When feminists spread false statistics about rape, the wage gap, domestic violence, patriarchy theory and the like, and ignore or minimize the suffering of men, they are attacking ALL MEN, gay or straight, white or black. I am a man first and a homosexual second. Do not pretend for a second that a bunch of sniveling brainwashed feminists and their male allies have done jack shit for men. If anything their propaganda has only created a rift between straight men and their LGBT counterparts.

      Before you go and embarrass yourself more, I suggest you go back to your Jessica Valenti columns or David Futrelle articles and seek the hug box to which you’re so obviously accustomed.

      A gay man who’s sick of your shit – Aeon

      • Dean Esmay on November 9, 2015 at 12:22 PM

        Saying a man who has stood for gay rights since LONG before it was fashionable is not allowed to advocate for gay men now is obscene. To say that my gay brothers can’t speak for me, equally obscene if not moreso. I thought the goal of human rights advocacy was to welcome people into the human race, not exclude them.

        Anyone who says MRAs don’t have an extensive record of supporting men is just a liar. [shrug]

  2. Mel on November 6, 2015 at 2:28 PM

    77 countries have laws criminalizing homosexuality, 24 of which apply only to men.

  3. Ginkgo on November 6, 2015 at 12:52 PM

    Hey, Dean! I recognize the snippet under the Kathy Brennan bit. Honored that you found it useful. Take care and keep on fighting!

  4. nope, wrong on November 6, 2015 at 6:10 AM

    too bad Milo is such a stupidly horny troll, otherwise he would be nice for the anti-feminist movement…

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