The following is a brief report of research published by Coyle and Enright in the December 1997 issue of The Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. Do men grieve after an abortion? Some do. What can be done to help them?

Adult men from a midwestern city were recruited to participate in a research study for the purpose of evaluating an intervention program developed to promote healing among post-abortion men. The men identified themselves as having been deeply hurt by their partners' decisions to abort. An initial screening was done to verify that the men were experiencing psychological distress and to ensure that they could identify one person other than themselves whom they blamed for the abortion. Of approximately 30 respondents, ten men were ultimately deemed eligible for this study. Others were excluded because they were planning on moving out of town before the study's completion or they lived too far away to travel to weekly meetings. Still others were excluded because they claimed to be experiencing only sexual problems and the intervention to be investigated focused on psychological issues.

Participants ranged in age from 21 to 43 years (mean age = 28 years). The time span between the actual abortion and contact with the investigators ranged from six months to 22 years (mean = 5.9 years). Six of the participants identified themselves as Christian, one as Muslim, and three as agnostic. Half of the men were consistently opposed to the decision to abort, one was supportive initially, and one was not aware that an abortion had occurred until several months later. The other three men described themselves as feeling ambivalent at the time the decision to abort was made but unhappy after the abortion occurred. These men tended to see the decision as belonging to their partners rather than themselves. This perspective seemed to be very much related to the current laws and rhetoric concerning abortion.

Following recruitment, participants were randomly assigned to either the treatment condition or a wait-list condition. All participants then received a pretest to assess their levels of anger, anxiety, grief, and forgiveness toward the person they had previously identified as being responsible for the abortion. Those who blamed themselves as well as another also were assessed in terms of self-forgiveness. The men who were assigned to the treatment condition began weekly meetings with the intervenor for twelve consecutive weeks. Those assigned to the wait-list condition entered into a twelve-week waiting period. After the twelve-week period had ended, both groups were administered the first post-test. Next, the participants assigned to the wait-list began to meet with the intervenor and take part in the program. Again, the men met with the intervenor individually for 12 weekly sessions each lasting about 90 minutes. Finally, all participants received the second post-test.

The forgiveness model

The goal of the intervention program was to promote psychological healing through forgiveness and was based on a process model of forgiveness developed at the University of Wisconsin-Madison by Enright and the Human Development Study Group (1996). The program also focused on specific problems that may be experienced by post-abortion men. These included: anger, helplessness, guilt, relationship problems, and grief. Forgiveness was offered as a healthy alternative to the negative emotion or problem being experienced.

The sessions and the definition of forgineness:

At the first intervention session, the participant was informed that the goal of the intervention was forgiveness and he was provided with a copy of the process model and with a definition of forgiveness. A critical aspect of the first session was the conveyance of a clear understanding of forgiveness. Forgiveness was not only defined but was also differentiated from other responses to an unjust injury. First, forgiveness was defined as, "a relinquishment of what may be justified retaliation. Forgiveness is a response that is motivated by love, compassion, and/or a belief in the inherent worth of each individual".

Second, forgiveness was differentiated from excusing, forgetting, and reconciliation. If the injury was excusable, there would be nothing to forgive. Men who have suffered through an unwanted abortion have experienced an inexcusable injury. While we can choose to forgive, we cannot always choose to forget. In other words, one can forgive another for a deep, unjust injury but still find himself remembering the injury on occasion. While such recall may be accompanied by negative emotions, one who has forgiven will not express those emotions in a destructive way. Finally, one may forgive but not reconcile particularly if the offending person has not demonstrated trustworthiness. The men who participated in this study were no longer in relationships with their partners who had obtained abortions. They felt that the women could not be trusted not to hurt them again.

The second and third sessions focused on anger. The men's experience of this emotion was validated and explored. The participant was encouraged to confront his anger and consider how it was affecting him. For example, he was asked to consider how much energy was being spent due to his anger and to think about how often he experienced angry thoughts. Forgiveness was then discussed as a means to decrease anger. Because genuine forgiveness requires an element of love and/or compassion toward one's offender, anger tends to, at the very least, decrease.

Sessions four and five dealt with helplessness. Participants were asked to reflect on the experience of this emotion and how it was affecting day-to-day living. Forgiveness was presented and discussed as a response which may decrease helplessness because it is an act of will rather than a passive acceptance. While a decision to forgive can restore one's sense of control over one's self, unforgiveness allows one to continue to be subtly controlled by another. Subsequent sessions focused on guilt, relationship problems, and grief. Each of these areas was explored in terms of the individual's unique experience and forgiveness was discussed as a healthy response for both the post-abortion man and the one he was forgiving. Self-forgiveness was a struggle for the majority of men, even those who tried desperately to prevent their partners from obtaining abortions. However, all of those men were eventually able to forgive themselves. All of the participants also expressed difficulty with relationships, particularly in terms of trusting another woman. However, they came to realize that forgiveness would decrease the likelihood of displacing the anger they felt toward their expartners onto innocent others (i.e., women in future relationships). The grief experienced by post-abortion men is seldom recognized as valid by society. Forgiveness may serve to decrease their grief because it is an active response that generates forward motion and hope for the future. Unlike other responses (e.g., denial, excusing, remaining angry), forgiveness brings closure and the freedom to look beyond the past.

Results of the study

The results of this research indicated that the intervention was effective in promoting forgiveness and psychological healing among post-abortion men. The significant increases in forgiveness scores observed among the participants were accompanied by significant decreases in their anger, anxiety, and grief. Those men who were struggling with self-forgiveness also demonstrated significant improvement in this area. In addition, the participants made many comments about 'feeling better' and being glad they chose to participate in this research. All participants chose to remain in the study through completion.

Post-abortion men have been virtually ignored in the scientific literature. Yet, in this study, evidence was obtained to support the efficacy of a healing program designed specifically for this population. Hopefully, many more studies will follow and further attention will be brought to both the effects of abortion on men and the means by which they might find hope and healing.

References:

Coyle, C.T. & Enright, R.D. (1997). Forgiveness Intervention with Postabortion Men. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 65,(6), 1042-1046.

Enright, R.D. & The Human Development Study Group (1996). Counseling within the forgiveness triad: On forgiving, receiving forgiveness, and self-forgiveness. Counseling and Values, 40, 107-146.

Catherine T. Coyle holds an MSN (masters in psychiatric nursing) and a PhD in Educational Psychology and is doing further research into the issue of abortion and its effects on men. Her research is being conducted at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. She is married and has three children.

In a letter to NCFM Dr. Coyle stated, "....I have been disappointed with the 'women's lib' movement. I do not believe that it represents the majority of women. It may have begun as a movement toward equality but it has evolved into a movement about power. There is nothing egalitarian about denying men reproductive choice".

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