National Coalition For Men (NCFM) http://ncfm.org NCFM is dedicated to the removal of harmful gender based stereotypes, especially as they impact boys, men, their families and those who love them. Sat, 24 Jan 2015 01:39:27 +0000 en-US hourly 1 NCFM Adviser Charles Corry, Ph.D, “Why Veterans Can’t Get Jobs…” http://ncfm.org/2015/01/news/discrimination-news/against-men-news/ncfm-adviser-charles-corry-ph-d-why-veterans-cant-get-jobs/ http://ncfm.org/2015/01/news/discrimination-news/against-men-news/ncfm-adviser-charles-corry-ph-d-why-veterans-cant-get-jobs/#comments Sat, 24 Jan 2015 01:39:26 +0000 http://ncfm.org/?p=18472 veterans

Why Veterans Can’t Get Jobs

by Charles E. Corry, Ph.D.

President, Equal Justice Foundation

Veterans have always faced some difficulties reintegrating into society after their discharge. That is particularly true if the veteran has been injured or wounded, even invisibly, by combat, training accidents, sexual assault, or the many other hazards of military service.

However, society has compounded the problems for veterans of the perpetual wars of the new millennium in at least three major ways: (1) deceptive advertising, (2) mala prohibita laws like the War on Drugs, and (3) a malfunctioning Veterans Administration.

I have broken these into three sections. I don’t have pat answers as to how balance might be restored but these problems don’t exist (or are ignored) unless and until they are documented and publicized.

If nothing else perhaps these essays will chart some of the rocks and shoals veterans must avoid if they are to reach safe harbor.

Part One — Hire a veteran! Not!

An examination of the hypocrisy, lies, deceit and Congressional acts that underly veteran unemployment.

 

Part Two — And justice for none

The impact of an overcriminalized justice system on veterans

 Part Three — Dying to get an appointment with the VA

It is self evident that in order to hold a job a veteran must be physically and mentally fit. In order to provide for that insofar as possible with the human debris of our endless wars our benevolent government has established a huge bureaucracy.

Background

What is today the cabinet level Department of Veteran Affairs has its roots in the Continental Congress of 1776. They provided pensions for soldiers who were disabled in the Revolution but, initially, medical care, if any, was provided by individual states and communities.

Federal medical facilities and housing for veterans were authorized in 1811 but none were opened until 1834. Assistance was later expanded to include benefits and pensions for veterans and also their widows and dependents.

It became the Department of Veteran Affairs (VA) on July 21, 1930, and was elevated to cabinet status on March 15, 1989. As with most government programs these worthy and essential services have grown to gargantuan proportions with a current budget of ~$153 billion with over 313,000 employees.

Under President Obama, the VA’s budget has grown by more than 60% over the past six years, although congressional overseers and veterans’ organizations complain that the department continues to be hobbled by what they consider a bloated and inefficient bureaucracy.

The Department currently has three subdivisions each headed by an Undersecretary:

 

During the Vietnam conflict 2.59 million veterans served in country, 58,209 were killed, 153,303 were wounded, and 1,643 are still MIA. But these casualty figures grossly underestimate the burden on the VA and as of September 2011 some 7.4 million Vietnam-era veterans were enrolled with the VA. And 5.9 million Gulf War I as well as 5.7 million peacetime-only veterans have sought VA assistance. Throw in WW II and Korean veterans and the VA clientele amounts to over 23 million and the need for a gargantuan bureaucracy becomes obvious.

Of the ~2.6 million veterans who served in-theater during Operation Enduring Freedom (OEF), Operation Iraqi Freedom (OEF), and Operation New Dawn (OND) in Iraq since 2001 only 6,843 (includes 17 DoD civilians) were killed and 52,281 were wounded in action as of October 30, 2014 (Table 1) thanks to advancements in body armor, transportation, and battlefield medicine. That tally excludes hundreds of thousands of others because the Pentagon counts only those injured as a “direct result of hostile action.” If a wound or injury did not occur on a combat operation, or it was the result of an accident, or it was caused by simply wearing body armor every day for a year, it does not make the list.

Despite these relatively low casualty figures 1.76 million veterans are currently eligible for VA benefits and 1.03 million of have already sought treatment at a VHA medical facility at least once since 2002, usually (93%) for outpatient care. About 45% of them have sought compensation for service-related disabilities. By comparison, about 21% of those who fought in the 1990-91 Persian Gulf War (Gulf I) filed similar claims.

However, 1.76 million new cases is only a 7% increase in the total number of veterans the VA has to deal with. Why then the multiple problems so evident today?

First, the history of the VA is one scandal after another since the Revolutionary War so the current problems are nothing new.

Second, the endless wars of the 21st Century, with their advances in body armor and armored vehicles, together with the multiple combat tours required of OEF/OIF/OND veterans, has produced a much higher percentage of wounded and disabled veterans than previous conflicts. In Iraq and Afghanistan, where there were no front lines; where improvised explosive devices were the enemy’s weapon of choice; where troops wore bulky protective gear most of the time; wounds such as traumatic brain injury, persistent ringing in the ears, elevated blood pressure, post traumatic stress, etc. that do not fit the military’s classic definition became the norm.

Once troops returned home and the adrenaline ebbed they began to confront the cost of all they wore to protect themselves, of the bone-jarring trips in mine-resistant trucks, of inhaling desert sand pulverized into jagged particles by armored vehicles, back pain, blown-out knees, headaches, chronic coughs, etc.

As noted above, for more than 1 million vets, serving in these wars has left them in worse physical health according to a poll run by the Washington Post and the Kaiser Family Foundation. Eighteen percent — about 470,000 current and former service members — reported being seriously injured while deployed to Iraq, Afghanistan or in support of the wars. Some of those wounds have been profoundly life altering — lost limbs, widespread burns, massive brain damage. Others are more prosaic, often the results of accidents or wear and tear on the body, but nonetheless they have saddled veterans with enduring pain.

More than 600,000 veterans who have become partially or totally disabled from physical or psychological wounds resulting from military service in the new millennium are already receiving lifelong financial support from the government. That figure is certain to grow substantially as the VA slowly processes a large claims backlog. Additionally, the types of injuries and disabilities have changed with advances in war, medicine, and mental health adding to the burden and delays in receiving disability determinations and compensation.

The difference between the ~1 million veterans seeking compensation and the 600,000 who have received it may help to explain why almost six in 10 vets believe the VA is doing an “only fair” or “poor” job in meeting the needs of their comrades.

One in three veterans surveyed by The Post and Kaiser said the VA or the Defense Department has determined they have a service-connected disability, a ratio that is almost identical to the VA’s overall tally.

What problems are OEF/OIF/OND veterans reporting? The three most frequent medical diagnoses of disabled veterans today are:

  • Musculoskeletal ailments (principally joint and back disorders),
  • Mental disorders, and
  • “Symptoms, Signs and Ill-Defined Conditions,” that most veterans would say translates as “If it isn’t simple and obvious we don’t know what it is, and it certainly doesn’t qualify for disability benefits.”

Each of these areas is addressed sequentially below.

Physical wounds and musculoskeletal ailments

Waits of months to sometimes a year or more to even see a doctor have been frequently reported. But once admitted the VHA, to all appearances, deals well, if not always timely, with physical wounds.

Advances in prosthetics for lost limbs has been remarkable and the VHA is a leader in such medical research. But the problems don’t stop there.

Obviously major limb amputations fall under this category and for the period 2003-2014 some 1,577 (Table 4) have been reported for OIF/OEF/OND veterans. However, a veteran may lose the use of a limb, hand, or foot without it being amputated and such accidents may happen outside of a combat theater. Veterans are commonly subject to crippling injuries during training and in other accidents and there is little doubt that the total number of such injuries, both from combat and other accidents far exceeds this number.

The signature wound of the current conflicts is a traumatic brain injury (TBI). These wounds result from impacts to the skull from an external force, e.g., projectiles, blasts, acceleration or deceleration, contact with a fixed object, etc. The impact may or may not penetrate the skull or result in fracture. The result is permanent or temporary impairment of cognitive, physical, and psychosocial functions, with an associated diminished or altered state of consciousness. Repeated blows to the head increase the likelihood of permanent impairment and such injuries may occur in combat, in training, and on or off base in an auto accident or fall, for example.

For the period 2000-2014 the VA reports 307,282 (Table 3) cases of TBI for all military, including OIF/OEF/OND veterans. That number is certain to increase. TBI is also known to be associated with early onset of dementia and increased numbers and severity of the disability of veterans with TBI can be expected in the years ahead.

In addition to direct injuries, the weight of man-packed combat gear in Iraq and Afghanistan was far beyond recommended loads. A basic load out for personal armor, water, helmet, weapon, ammunition, and other ancillary equipment was typically 60 kg (135 pounds) and often ranged to 90 kg (200 pounds) or more. As a result there will be tens of thousands of veterans with back, hip, and knee problems as they age and many have these problems now.

Qualifying for disability payments for any of these conditions, however, is typically dependent on such injuries being documented in a veteran’s medical records before discharge and getting an honorable or general discharge. Otherwise the veteran usually faces a years-long battle with the VA before they can hope to obtain benefits, if any.

All of these conditions are going to make it difficult or impossible for OEF/OIF/OND veterans to get or hold jobs that require them to stand for long periods, carry heavy loads, or walk any distance on pavement or over uneven surfaces. Many are also limited in the types of tools or machines they can operate particularly if they have TBI.

Obviously these conditions are not caused by the VA but the failure to provide prompt and effective treatment exacerbates the veteran’s problems. That is particularly true when payments for these disabilities are also delayed or denied.

Mental health and psychiatric assistance

Veterans suffering from mental health issues are particularly problematic. The problems are compounded by a shortage of mental health professionals in the VA and a crisis in the way psychiatry is practiced.

Wars have always produced more psychiatric casualties than physical wounds. Prior to 1980 little seems to have been done for mentally-impaired veterans other than to put the most severe cases in care facilities. Otherwise veterans were largely left to self medicate while telling war stories around the bar in the VFW or American Legion halls. If the laws hadn’t changed, as noted above, that would still be a good therapeutic approach for many veterans.

In 1980, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) added PTSD to the third edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-III) nosologic classification scheme. The PTSD diagnosis has filled an important gap in psychiatric theory and practice. The significant change ushered in by the PTSD concept was the stipulation that the causative agent was outside the individual, i.e., a traumatic event, rather than an inherent individual weakness. Bremner (2006) reviews known changes to the brain associated with PTSD.

The types of trauma that can lead to PTSD varies widely between individuals but certainly includes witnessing or being a victim of violent crime including sexual assault, being a victim of or witnessing an accident or natural disaster, death of a loved one, and certainly combat particularly if severe, protracted, or repeated and especially if the veteran is wounded. Other causes are, of course, known. Training and genetics also play a role with, apparently, Asians being less susceptible.

To understand why PTSD has such a drastic impact on employment for veterans it is necessary to review the characteristic symptoms and behaviors. Endnote 1 presents the symptoms of post traumatic stress as commonly seen in veterans. Most individuals initially experience only a few of these symptoms, with sleeplessness and nightmares being the most common. Dissociation is diagnostic, particularly in flashbacks. Symptoms such as irritability, irrational anger, anxiety, hypervigilance, etc. may develop later. Or initial symptoms may disappear only to be reignited years or decades later by some new traumatic event. Rarely if ever does an individual exhibit all these symptoms. Commonly some symptoms come and go while others are persistent. Veterans with PTSD may be high functioning for some period and then regress for no externally apparent reason, usually to the detriment of their employment and those around them.

Onset of post traumatic stress may occur within weeks or a few months of the trauma or delayed for years and decades. Symptoms must persist for at least a month to be considered a disorder. If PTSD is going to clear up it usually does so within one or two years, otherwise it often becomes chronic. Even if initial PTSD symptoms disappear a later traumatic event may trigger a renewed onset.

I know of no universal treatment for PTSD. The DoD and VA favor cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) and continuous exposure therapy but not all veterans respond favorably to either of these treatments. Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is also used with some success.

Gore (2014) points out that many different drugs have been used to treat specific PTSD symptoms such as benzodiazepines for anxiety, anticonvulsants for impulsivity and emotional stability, and clonidine for nightmares. However, the principal agents of treatment have been the various antidepressants and beta-blockers. Atypical antipsychotics have been used for patients who do not respond to antidepressants. Some studies suggest that fluoxetine demonstrates some efficacy for all three symptom clusters. Various sleep medications have also been used. But what appears to work best for most veterans who have tried these drugs is marijuana either because they no longer have prescriptions, expense, or superior benefits.

DSM-5 notes that individuals with PTSD are 80% more likely to have symptoms that meet diagnostic criteria for at least one other mental disorder, e.g., depressive, bipolar, anxiety, or substance abuse as well. There is also increased risk of suicide and suicidal ideation. DSM-5 also notes that co-occurrence of PTSD and mild TBI is 48% in Iraq and Afghanistan veterans. I would suggest that for more severe TBI the co-occurrence of PTSD approaches unity and that it becomes difficult, if not impossible, to distinguish one from the other in many veterans.

Studies of Civil War veterans recognized that veterans suffering from mental trauma were at increased risk of disease and early mortality (Pizarro and others, 2006) so recognition of the problem is not new but effective treatment is still uncertain.

There is considerable debate over the percentage of Vietnam veterans who suffered from PTSD, e.g., see review by Richardson and others (2010). For in-country veterans who actually engaged in combat studies suggest around 30% lifetime occurrence although some estimates suggest that 50% is more accurate.

A RAND study (Tanielian and Jaycox, 2008) estimated 300,000 (19%) of the 1.62 million Iraq and Afghanistan veterans who had been deployed at the time or their study suffered from PTSD or major depression based on a telephone survey of 1,925 veterans. They also estimated 320,000 suffered some level of TBI. The authors note that “…respondents were concerned that treatment would not be kept confidential and would constrain future job assignments and military-career advancement.” These concerns suggest the veteran’s problems were underreported, a recurring problem.

Fischer (2014) reports that the Army Office of the Surgeon General has only identified 164,817 new cases of PTSD among deployed and not deployed troops between 2000 and 2014 (Table 2). Since veterans with all but the mildest cases of TBI are likely to have PTSD as well, and she reports 307,282 cases of TBI, the number of OEF/OIF/OND veterans who have or will develop PTSD is grossly underestimated.

These rather low estimates for PTSD lend credence to anecdotal evidence from veterans that the Army and VA grossly underdiagnose the problem.

Of course a failure to correctly diagnose disabilities, whether deliberately or through incompetence translates into denied benefits and often great hardship for tens of thousands of veterans.

Thomas and others (2010) studied both Active duty Army and National Guard troops at 3 and 12 months post deployment. They observed PTSD rates across active duty and National Guard study groups after a single deployment. Using the least stringent definition, the mildest cases, ranging from 20.7% to 30.5%, and depression rates ranging from 11.5% to 16.0%. Using the strictest definitions with high symptom rates and serious functional impairment, PTSD prevalence ranged from 5.6% to 11.3% and depression prevalence from 5.0% to 8.5%. Between 8.5% and 14.0% of all soldiers reported serious functional impairment due to either PTSD or depression symptoms. They also noted that the incidence of PTSD is 2 to 3 times higher among those exposed to combat compared with those who did not report significant combat exposure and that PTSD is more frequent among National Guard and Reserve troops. My experience suggests the highest rates of PTSD occur in medics, corpsmen, and truck drivers in daily convoys.

A weakness of the above surveys is that they were done with troops who had completed a single combat tour, as was also true of most Vietnam veterans. Conversely, many OEF/OIF/OND veterans served multiple combat tours lasting from nine to fifteen months, many enduring three, four, five or more with only nine to twelve months back home as the operational tempo increased.

The March 29, 2014, Washington Post and Kaiser Foundation survey is more inclusive. They found that of those deployed to Iraq, 47% were sent on two or more combat tours, and 29% — more than a half-million veterans — spent two years or more in-country. Of veterans who deployed to Afghanistan, 29% had two or more tours, and 16% spent at least two years there. And many veterans served combat tours in both Iraq and Afghanistan but I haven’t found data on veterans who served in both countries or three or more combat tours.

The Washington Post and Kaiser Foundation poll found that the wars have caused mental and emotional health problems in at least 31% of OEF/OIF/OND veterans — more than 800,000 of them. When more specific questions were asked, the rates increased: 41% — more than 1 million — report having outbursts of anger, and 45% have relationship problems with their spouse or partner. Both are symptoms of post-traumatic stress (see Endnote 1) and data on other mental health problems, e.g., suicidal ideation, schizophrenia, depression, etc. are not reviewed. More than half of veterans polled say the government is not doing a good job addressing the requirements of this generation of veterans. But when asked to rate their own treatment, almost 60% said the government’s response is “excellent” or “good.” Greater than 50% finding VA not doing a good job versus less than 60% pleased with their own treatment is probably within the margin of error for the survey. When asked about their own health care more than 80% stated their physical, mental and emotional needs are being well met by the VA. So once in the system veterans generally seem pleased with the care they receive.

As reviewed by Grossman (1995, rev. 2009, p. 43-45), WW II studies found that after 60 days of continuous combat 98% of surviving soldiers became psychiatric casualties. The 2% who were able to endure sustained combat showed a predisposition toward “aggressive psychopathic personalities.” I have not found any comparable studies that quantify the effects of multiple combat tours on veterans although a qualitative difference seems well established. When troops who have completed multiple combat missions are polled the rates of PTSD are much higher. Everyone has a breaking point past which they cannot continue to function. While that point cannot be individually measured I do know that far too many veterans of the current conflicts have been pushed too far.

Available data suggest the Army and the VA are badly underdiagnosing the prevalence of PTSD and other mental health problems.

Part of that issue might be a sampling problem as it is becoming more apparent that these problems first occur or become worse later in life as suggested by the veteran arrest study of Corry and Stockburger (2013). If valid, many mental health problems for OEF/OIF/OND veterans won’t become apparent until they reach age 40 or so.

Not only is the VA understaffed in the mental health arena, and apparently underdiagnosing the prevalence of PTSD, but the field of psychiatry itself is in a state of crisis. Daniel Carlat, M.D., in his 2010 book Unhinged details how psychiatry has largely forsaken the practice of talk therapy for the seductive — and more lucrative — practice of simply prescribing drugs. Thus, when troubled veterans do manage to get an appointment with a shrink the likely outcome is the psychiatrist will spend the session typing notes into his computer and send the veteran off with a shopping bag full of drugs. Veterans on 12 and 14 different medications are reported and, because of their condition, they have little idea of what each drug is for and often report feeling like a zombie on them and this “treatment” may be fatal.

These policies are dangerous. There are many cases of premature deaths in veterans that are linked to the multitude of prescription drugs they are often prescribed. Of particular note are the fatalities associated with both legal and illegal drugs, notably opioids, veterans take for pain and relief from the multiple symptoms of PTSD.

The death of young veterans by heart attack was reviewed by Rappaport (2012) based on the research of neurologist Fred Baughman, Jr. M.D., Fellow, American Academy of Neurology, and Diplomate, American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology. Dr. Baughman refers to these cases as Soldiers Dead In Bed and as of September 2014 he has tabulated over 400 such cases. As he notes, this is far from a complete list and the problem continues unabated. Seroquel (an antipsychotic) is the drug most frequently linked to these deaths but other antipsychotic and antidepressants have also been identified in such cases particularly when Paxil (antidepressant) and Klonopin (benzodiazepine) are prescribed and taken together. And the negative effects of these drugs are magnified when dosage is suddenly interrupted, as for example; the veteran is thrown in jail.

Accidents, often deliberate, and alcoholism also account for numerous, but usually uncounted veteran deaths as reviewed by Alan Zarembo in a December 2013 article in the LA Times.

The cumulative impact is horrific. Between 2,709,918 to 3,173,845 American veterans served in country and in interior waters of Vietnam between 1954 and 1975 (American War Library, 2007). Yet less than one third of the veterans who survived ground combat in Vietnam are alive today although most would only be in their 60s or early 70s. For example, see the discussion by Duff (2009).

Suicide is the factor most talked about but Katz (2013) points out that homelessness is as large a factor. And homelessness results directly from a veteran’s inability to get a job.

It is estimated that at least 22 veterans a day commit suicide. These statistics only count cases where suicide is the stated cause of death and the individual is known to be a veteran. In the military bastion of El Paso County, Colorado, the coroner has no way to know whether or not a suicide case is a veteran or not and that is likely true of many other coroners.

Veteran suicides are much more common than published values.

The prognosis for current veterans is no more favorable. Already it is estimated that more OEF/OIF veterans have died from suicide than in combat in both wars.

The total number of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans who have died since returning from those theaters isn’t known but certainly far exceeds any published figures.

Without effective and accurate diagnoses and treatment veterans with PTSD and TBI are poor candidates to get and keep a job.

While an accurate diagnosis and proper treatment are critical for mental health problems suffered by veterans, lets face it, any veteran who admits they are under psychiatric care by the VA isn’t likely to get much of a job, if any.

One is left with the impression that in many cases the veteran would be better served sitting around the bar at the VFW or American Legion and swapping war stories. For sleeping and keeping calm marijuana is clearly a better drug choice although that almost certainly hurts the veteran’s job options whereas the alcohol doesn’t.

Symptoms, signs and ill-defined conditions

For chronic conditions the VHA record is not stellar. For example, they strongly resisted recognition of such conditions as exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam veterans. Veterans began to file claims in 1977 with the VA for disability payments for health care for conditions they believed were associated with exposure to Agent Orange, or more specifically, dioxin. However, their claims were denied unless they could prove the condition began when they were in the service or within one year of their discharge. It wasn’t until 1991 when Congress enacted the Agent Orange Act that gave the VA authority to declare certain conditions “presumptive” to exposure to Agent Orange/dioxin, making these veterans who served in Vietnam eligible to receive treatment and compensation for these conditions. Of course many of them were dead by then!

But by April 1993, the Department of Veterans Affairs had only compensated 486 victims, although it had received disability claims from 39,419 soldiers who had been exposed to Agent Orange while serving in Vietnam.

The effects of Agent Orange on veterans and their children is draining, debilitating, and sometimes disfiguring. Such conditions make it very difficult, if not impossible, for them to get or hold many jobs. And that says nothing about the time, energy, and money they have had to spend in getting the VA to recognize, let alone compensate them for these conditions.

A similar scenario has played out for veterans suffering from what is known as Gulf War Syndrome. Approximately 250,000 of the 697,000 veterans who served in the 1991 Gulf War are afflicted with a wide range of acute and chronic symptoms including fatigue, muscle pain, cognitive problems, rashes and diarrhea. There are also reports that Iraq and Afghanistan veterans of the current conflicts suffer from this syndrome. Clearly veterans with these conditions are going to have difficulty finding and holding a job.

The same game of delay, denial, and obfuscation appears to be playing out for OEF/OIF/OND veterans.

While these games are played employment prospects for these wounded warriors are dismal. And they frequently must wait months and often years to receive the disability compensation their service entitles them to. In the meantime they are often dependent on family and friends, if any, for food and shelter. And many simply become homeless.

Dealing with the Veteran Administration

Unless and/or until they can find a job and become self sufficient, timely support from the VA is critical. But it is difficult to find a veteran who hasn’t had problems dealing with the Veterans Administration. The first problem a veteran or their relatives face is finding the right branch among the three that they should be dealing with. Then, like in any good bureaucracy, there are forms to be completed. And fill out the wrong form or in the wrong sequence and it is usually back to square one.

One would hope that the Internet and a functional web site would alleviate many of these problems. So I tried it and when I went to download the veteran pension form I was led to I got this error message:

To view the full contents of this document, you need a later version of the PDF viewer. You can upgrade to the latest version of Adobe Reader from http://www.adobe.com/products/acrobat/readstep2.html

For further support, go to

http://www.adobe.com/support/products/acrreader.html

The reader will never guess that I tried to download the latest version of Adobe Reader only to find that is what was already on my machine (Mac with OS 10.10, Adobe Reader 11.0.10, January 3, 2015). It is these types of problems that drive technically-challenged users up the wall, and don’t make me too happy either. And this presumes the veteran has access to a computer and knows how and is physically able to use one.

Numerous other examples of this and many other problems might be given but to little purpose. The problems exist, they are common, and they are unworthy of a government agency of such importance.

Without the assistance of groups like the Disabled American Veterans (DAV) and Paralyzed Veterans of America, independent non-profit organizations, many veterans find it impossible to navigate through the VA bureaucratic maze and determine what forms need to be filed for what condition in what office or branch of the VA, with what documentation, when, and in what order.

A sad commentary on one of our government’s largest bureaucracies inability carry out even its simplest mission.

But the games don’t end there. Once the proper form is filed with the proper VA office the wait begins. One hears of routine delays of 2 to 5 years for disability determinations. Assuming the VA reviewer cannot find a reason to deny the application, and the disability is determined to be service related, a standard practice seems to be to award it with 0% monetary award. The veteran then has to file another claim for monetary award with current date, wait another couple of years for decision, with back pay only to date of second filing.

Should the initial claim be denied, as is reportedly routine, the veteran must then file an appeal and wait more years. It is not unusual to find Vietnam veterans still trying to get their disabilities recognized and just compensation from the VA.

Clearly the civil servants within VA offices are now in fear of their lives from such mad beasts as we. Veterans entering a VA facility are now scanned and searched. Even pocket knives are banned in case a “trained killer” goes insane and attacks an incompetent, pettifogging bureaucrat. Of course that approach ignores our bare hands, if they haven’t been blown off. Soon we may need to be handcuffed or placed in a straightjacket in order to enter what is presumably a public building dedicated to serving veterans. But the recent event at the VA Hospital in El Paso, Texas, suggests a more immediate problem may be their own employees “going postal.”

As noted above, a few arrests and veterans are homeless, but the VA hotline for homeless vets isn’t reliable. It takes time to get appointments, run through the rain dances, and frequently they have no means of transportation to the VA clinic or hospital. Often their only means of communication is through a free email account at a public library. It is little wonder then that vets often get pissed off and say the hell with it. Suicide is too often the final option for them.

We can and must do better!

Summary

It is tragic the way many veterans are treated both by their government and by many businesses. After WW II veterans largely built the most advanced and prosperous nation the world has ever seen. But overcriminalization by mindless legislators, who have passed an incomprehensible multitude of punitive mala prohibita laws, has now filled America’s prisons with more of our citizens and veterans than any other nation on earth.

Where the War on Drugs left off poisonous dogma by feminist ideologues stepped in to destroy the children, families, marriages, and lives of millions of veterans, e.g., see the Last Statement of Retired Army Sergeant Ball. Thus even those veterans who managed to find employment and reintegrate often found their lives destroyed.

With actions like the H1-B and similar visa programs it seems the Congress is actively attempting to prevent veterans and other Americans from finding lucrative positions.

Most disabled veterans seem to spend a lifetime fighting with the VA. Without the assistance of the Disabled American Veterans (DAV) and similar non-profit organizations many veterans find it impossible to navigate through the VA bureaucratic maze and determine what forms need to be filed for what condition in what office or branch of the VA, when, and with what documentation. A sad commentary on one of our government’s largest bureaucracies inability carry out even its simplest mission.

It is a lucky veteran who navigates the rocks and shoals enumerated here without going aground. And the anchor supposedly provided by the Veterans Administration is dragging.

Endnotes

Summary of symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) observed in local veterans:

  • Sleeplessness (probably the most common and the first thing one notices);
  • Dissociation from actual events and no memory of them is diagnostic;
  • Nightmares often accompanied by kicking, fighting, or choking a partner in one’s sleep and are much more persistent and disturbing than what Grossman and Christensen (2007, 2nd Ed., p. 156-157) call the Universal Warrior Nightmare;
  • Impotence in males;
  • Irrational anger or irritability accompanied by emotional or violent outbursts;
  • Anxiety and a need for unconditional control of almost every situation in order to feel safe;
  • Panic attacks and hyperventilating (veterans are known to put on their body armor in such cases);
  • Social withdrawal and fear of crowded places (often will not leave house or go shopping until early morning hours);
  • Difficulty concentrating, focusing, or remembering (short-term memory loss);
  • Hypervigilance often expressed as a fear of crowds and a need to do a reconnaissance before entering an area or building, e.g. Wal-Mart;
  • Flashbacks to the event(s); and
  • An exaggerated and often violent startle response.

For a comprehensive diagnostic description of post traumatic stress disorder see the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-5 pages 271-280.

To officially fall within the diagnostic guidelines the symptoms must last for at least a month.

 

About the author

Dr. Corry is a Senior Fellow of the Geological Society of America and an internationally-known earth scientist whose biography has appeared in Who’s Who in the World, Who’s Who in America, Who’s Who in Science and Engineering, among others, for sixteen consecutive years.

He has been doing research on domestic violence, particularly abused men, since 1997.

In 2008 he and former EJF Director Robert Alvarez began pushing for a veteran court in Colorado Springs. That court is now up and research continues on veteran arrests.

After service with 1 st Marines Dr. Corry became involved with the early space program in 1960, doing preflight testing and failure analysis on Atlas and Centaur missiles, including all the Project Mercury birds. In 1965 he switched to oceanography and did research at both Scripps Institution in San Diego and Woods Hole Oceanographic on Cape Cod. He has also taught geology and geophysics at two universities and worked as a research manager for a Fortune 500 company.

Among other pursuits he has climbed high mountains, been shipwrecked and marooned on an unexplored desert island, ridden horseback through Utah, Arizona, and Colorado, and enjoyed many other adventures during his long career.

Presently Dr. Corry is president and founding director of the Equal Justice Foundation.

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NCFM Member Naomi Evans 8th letter to Washington legislators re paternity fraud reform legislation… Hey, I lied, so what, it’s my right and the state should reward me, it’s only fair… http://ncfm.org/2015/01/news/discrimination-news/against-men-news/ncfm-member-naomi-evans-8th-letter-to-washington-legislators-re-paternity-fraud-reform-legislation-hey-i-lied-so-what-its-my-right-and-the-state-should-reward-me-its-only-fair/ http://ncfm.org/2015/01/news/discrimination-news/against-men-news/ncfm-member-naomi-evans-8th-letter-to-washington-legislators-re-paternity-fraud-reform-legislation-hey-i-lied-so-what-its-my-right-and-the-state-should-reward-me-its-only-fair/#comments Thu, 22 Jan 2015 02:27:23 +0000 http://ncfm.org/?p=18463 liarDear Washington Legislators,

Last year, two fellow victims of Paternity Fraud joined my husband and I in giving testimony in support of Senator Angel’s bill re: Paternity Fraud in Washington State. There were also two bar attorneys from special interest feminist groups who testified in opposition to this legislation. It did not go unnoticed by us supporters, however, that there was a complete absence of testimony from those women who have committed Paternity Fraud.

In fact I would go so far as to bet money that there’s never been or ever will be a single instance of a perpetrator of Paternity Fraud testifying against this legislative reform, as such testimony would most certainly sound ridiculous and reveal these criminal masterminds for what they truly are. So, for the sake of shedding light on the female perpetrator side of the Paternity Fraud “equation,” I would like to share the following fictitious “testimonial” written by yours truly in an effort to expose what I believe to be the underlying opinions and views of these women who seek your support.

“My name is Jane Defrauder and I am here testifying on behalf of women, like myself, who have committed paternity fraud against men. I am asking my legislators not to support paternity fraud legislation as it would not be in the best interest of my financial goals. Of course I knew, like all women do, that it was a lie when I told my ex boyfriend several years ago that he was the father of my child. I knew there were a few other men who could likely be my child’s father because I was cheating on my trusting and stupid boyfriend with half of the college football team. But he didn’t know that, and I didn’t think he needed to know. He had a good future with a well paying job ahead of him. He’d certainly be able to provide for myself and my child; so I didn’t feel bad telling him this one little lie. He was the best man for the job and, after all, the laws are always siding with us women when it comes to reproductive rights. It’s like what Julia Roberts said in “Pretty Woman” something about “I say who and how much” right? If we decide we aren’t ready to be mothers, it is our right as women to get abortions when we want and to give up our babies for adoption—even without the father’s permission. The man is only a sperm donor, you know? It is our bodies that carry and grow our babies and we are the best parent to care for them because men are not really capable of loving their babies like mothers do; it’s simple biology.

I want to thank you law makers for helping me and my child by giving us welfare benefits on top of the child support that I am able to collect. These men who whine about paying too much support are lazy and don’t always work high paying enough jobs to cover all our expenses. And even though I lied to my ex boyfriend about him being my kid’s daddy, I want to assure you that I have never once lied about my income when applying for my welfare benefits.  In fact I want to tell you that I am very responsible when it comes to spending the welfare and child support checks that I collect from the “duped dad.” I provide well for my babies.  I make sure they get the best I Pads and cell phones that money can buy, and of course I buy lots of ramen noodles, soda, ice cream and DiGiorno frozen pizzas for my precious babies. Only the best that money can buy, you know? I hope that you Legislators can see how grateful I am for being allowed to get away with this kind of fraud, and that if there is any reform that would allow my ex boyfriend to end his financial enslavement to me, that it would certainly impact my current quality of life.  It would be an extreme hardship to be forced to find my child’s real father and to go back to work fulltime in order to financially provide for my own child. Honestly I get a little anxiety attack just thinking about breaking one of my manicured nails or having actual real life sweat come out of my pores if asked to do any manual labor job. I am certain my complexion would not withstand such hardship and that I would no longer be able to afford weekly visits to my dermatologist for laser facials. Such hardship for us crafty mothers should not be endured!

I fear the worst hardship if this law were to pass would be the possibility of having to face my child’s biological father, who most certainly will not like the fact that I essentially kidnapped his child at birth and have so far denied his right to be a father to his own flesh and blood.  And what about the animosity his family members will have toward me when they discover they’ve been denied the knowledge of and interaction with a grandbaby, niece or cousin? I simply cannot face these angry people or take responsibility for my actions when I first chose to lie to my ex. It would be far too devastating!

Now I know that these victims of Paternity Fraud keep talking about how their real kids are getting the short end of the stick, and how they can’t provide for them because they have to pay women like me, but I want to thank you law makers for continuing to put my kid’s needs above those other forgotten “real kids”.  I’m sure they will be fine because they have a mother and a father to provide for them.  Maybe those kids’ Mamas need to get a better paying job to make up for the short comings imposed by my monthly child support income.  And since we are talking about those other kids, I was hoping to ask you law makers if you could change the child support laws so that Family Court Judges will stop giving financial consideration toward these other genetic kids that my paternity fraud victim has to care for.  After all why should he get any consideration for those kids when my child was born first? If it hadn’t been for those kids, I would have gotten a whole $250 a month extra at my last child support modification hearing.

I would like to remind all you law makers that we live in a free country to do as we want and say what we want, and I was simply exercising my constitutional right to free speech when I told my ex that he was my child’s father. So if there is anyone to blame here it is the man who believed my lie about paternity and he should have exercised his right to free speech by asking for a DNA test when my child was born. As for any claims that the laws that protect women like myself are violating these men’s constitutional rights of due process or freedom from indentured slavery, I would say that these are just made up claims by men and they should just continue to “shut up and pay up” because that is their punishment for ever believing women like me.

Now that I have explained my view point and my reasons for committing various felonies over the last several years (such as perjury, kidnapping and fraud), I will close with a simple thank you to all those legislators who continue to support my crimes by holding these men accountable to thousands of non genetic children. May God have mercy on your soul.”

I hope you have all enjoyed this purely honest yet comedic depiction of a perpetrator of Paternity Fraud, and that its sarcasm and reality will help further your decision to support Jan Angel’s reintroduction of paternity reform in the 2015 Legislature pre-filed as SB 5006.

Yours Truly,

Naomi Evans- Bremerton (26th district)

www.survivingpaternityfraud2ndwife.blogspot.com

 

NCFM NOTE: You can listen to the testimony before the State Legislative Committed here: http://www.tvw.org/index.php?option=com_tvwplayer&eventID=2015011074 . It starts at about minute 17:

paternity fraud

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NCFM Chicago Chapter President Tim Goldich, “It All Balances Out—just four words, sounds simple, but it’s not…” http://ncfm.org/2015/01/news/discrimination-news/against-men-news/ncfm-chicago-chapter-president-tim-goldich-it-all-balances-out-just-four-words-sounds-simple-but-its-not/ http://ncfm.org/2015/01/news/discrimination-news/against-men-news/ncfm-chicago-chapter-president-tim-goldich-it-all-balances-out-just-four-words-sounds-simple-but-its-not/#comments Tue, 13 Jan 2015 16:24:37 +0000 http://ncfm.org/?p=18435 it all balances out

Tim Goldich, Chicago Chapter President, at NCFM board meeting holding his STOP MALE BASHING cup.

The following essay, It all Balances Out, is the product of many years devoted to searching out the right words with which to deliver our message to the general public. I’m indebted to recent critiques for these words in red that I’ve added in an effort to better communicate with my fellow MRAs (I also use the term “masculist” as synonymous with MRA).

It All Balances Out—just four words, sounds simple, but it’s not.

It is, I believe, a phrase that best describes gender reality throughout history and it’s a phrase that might cause the modern-day MRA to, shall we say, raise an eyebrow. I’m well aware that men suffer comparison with women in virtually every measure of wellbeing. But I respectfully request that my fellow MRAs hear me out on this. What you’re about to read demonstrates a strategy for getting our message across to the mainstream. In part, it’s crafted for “straights,” those who’ve not taken the “red pill.” How do we reach them? How do we send our message in a manner that is at least relatively palatable to mainstream sensibilities? How do we penetrate the “lace curtain” in a manner that’s healthy and constructive? How do we move gender politics into a new and more evolved phase?

I present to you now, how I use the concept of It All Balances Out to further our cause:

It All Balances Out

it all balances out

By Tim Goldich

he underlying principle that pervades and unifies every aspect of my book can be expressed in a single word: Balance. In defiance, the book’s “radical” premise is simply this: in the benefits enjoyed and in the liabilities suffered, in the power and in the victimization, in the freedoms and the constraints, the good and the bad, It All Balances Out between Woman and Man—and it always has.

Historically, the gender system has certainly been less than perfect, inflicting injustices on both sexes alike. But these injustices have come out even. Ours has been an imperfect yet essentially balanced gender system, except for one thing—the highly imbalanced gender belief system. If I could, I would shift our entire gender belief system away from feminism’s MalePower/FemaleVictimization paradigm and toward a balanced gender paradigm.

As it stands, there’s an assumption of imbalance—an “imbalance” of power enjoyed by men and an “imbalance” of victimization suffered by women. That’s the story we make up, but that has never been more than half of the full story. The other half, the FemalePower/MaleVictimization half of the story remains obscure because . . . neither sex wants to hear it. Nevertheless, for every female complaint, there is a mirror-opposite male complaint. For every one CEO there’ve been many POWs. Hard/hazardous labor, battlefields, prisons, mines, the streets, the sewers—men have always occupied both extremes, the most and the least enviable positions on earth—the latter in far greater numbers than the former.

Imagine, if you will, a gigantic scale with love on one end of the balance beam and respect on the other:

This love/respect dynamic upon which gender balance pivots can be described in two brief statements:

Throughout history, both sexes have tended to respect men more than women.

Throughout history, both sexes have tended to love women more than men.

Feminism has effectively protested women’s lesser status in all things along the respect axis. Both sexes have listened and both sexes have done much to change the cultural environment in ways that promote respect for women. That men are less loved, however, may ring true from the outset yet be met with cynicism just the same. Both sexes receive the female side with empathy and the male side without empathy exactly because both sexes love women more and men less.

Hostility, when directed at women, is given a pejorative label—“misogyny.” We give it this very negative label because hostility toward women is forbidden. Arguably, our culture leans more toward misandry (hostility toward men). But few know this word misandry—a word that would condemn hostility toward men the same way the word misogyny condemns hostility toward women.

Our lack of love toward men is so pervasive as to be invisible, and we concern ourselves with it so little that we don’t even have a word for it.

This Balance I speak of is revealed in the following four key statements:

One: At birth, members of both sexes are assigned roles, socialization, and conditioning that facilitate and ensure a world in which men are more respected/less loved and women are more loved/less respected.

Two: Historically, men have been no more empowered to escape their biology, role, socialization, conditioning, and concurrent fate than women have.

Three: The two sexes, equally powerless and equally powerful, have plied an equal overall force of influence in the molding of our world, and are thus equally responsible for outcomes.

Four: Throughout history, the enormous consequences and vast repercussions suffered by women for being less respected have been matched in full by the enormous consequences and vast repercussions suffered by men for being less loved.

These four statements are key, because taken together they lead inexorably to the one key truth: It All Balances Out!

Last year, while at a Christmas Eve party, I was asked what my book on gender was on about. “It All Balances Out between men and women,” I said.

What balances out?”

“Everything,” I said, “the power, the victimization; the freedoms, the constraints; the joys, the sorrows; the good and the bad, the whole thing.”

So, there I was, trapped in the kitchen with a half dozen women all good naturedly ready to pounce. “I’m . . . going to go over there,” I said, pointing toward the dining room—a tactical retreat that drew a laugh. But, not long after, the hostess walked over and admitted, “You’re probably right.”

The truths of Balance stand in such direct contradiction to the official (feminist) gender belief system that they may be taken for an “outrage.” So it’s telling I think that, unofficially, these truths are so often met with a shrug. In my experience, prefacing a discussion on men’s issues with “It All Balances Out” is a good approach. It is an angle that is generally well received. And it gets my foot in the door in places that might otherwise slam the door on men’s issues. On a purely intuitive level, the truths of Balance ring true.

Balancing out the “official” gender belief system, that is my goal; that is what my book is all about. It’s about replacing “female-ism” with a new gender-neutral gender politics (what I’ll call “equalism”) that deals with the many and varied issues of women and men as mirror-opposites that balance each other. Only with this understanding can the gender politics of the future be built upon an even foundation.

 

So, this is how I use simple, intuitive language and imagery to introduce people to men’s issues. But, let’s pause here to field two predictable objections.

1) Some masculists will reject the notion that men are, or have ever been, more respected.

2) Both feminists and masculists will tend to reject It All Balances Out as simply “false.”

One masculist response reads: “Personally, I find the assertion of balance here defies two matters of pure reason. One, men are not and never have been respected. If anyone has been the beneficiary of more social respect, it is women. And two, the men’s movement serves a population of men and the women who love them who have seen first hand just how callous and brutal the imbalance really is.” So, let me address these objections one at a time. First, is it true that “men are not and never have been respected”?

From Plato to Caesar to Leonardo to Shakespeare to Bach to Einstein, there is a lineage of the Great Men in history. In a sense, being male, we are all enfranchised in that lineage while all women are disenfranchised. From relativity to evolution, psychoanalysis to modern art, for every cultural megalith, a man is named the “father.” Yes, women have been more loved. Men have kissed women’s hands and risen when they walked in the room. But, there was a lesser respect lurking behind all that adoration and it was revealed the moment a crisis occurred and there were problems to be solved. Suddenly, male intellect, competence, prestige; toughness, strength, and courage were sought and the women who took focus a moment before, fade into the background.

Even today, to the extent that women remain viewed as “women-and-children,” women remain disrespected. Why is that bad for us? Because Woman is powerful. The shadow side of her feminism is profoundly destructive. Only by respecting Woman as a full-fledged adult wielding enormous power can Woman be held fully accountable for her effect in the world.

Historically, men may not have been loved much, but men and masculinity were most definitely respected. Even so, the response to the above was: “But where you fail, and I must add miserably so, is that you confuse lies with good intention as being high-minded. Not the same thing. Rigorous pursuit of truth, even at personal expense, and even when it offends people, is the epitome of high-minded. The idea that women are born disenfranchised in a culture that will cut down droves of men in order to save a single one of them is not high-minded. It is a pure and simple lie.”

I know the truths of female privilege and male victimization as well as anyone, but the rigorous pursuit of truth is the very thing that compels me to also acknowledge the other half of gender reality, even at personal expense, and even when it offends people. Asserting that men have never been respected is the pursuit of victim, not truth. If it were true, if the gender deal Man entered into and engaged in for millennia was a deal that Man got nothing out of, if along with the bad the male experience contained no positives, we must conclude that Man was no better than a fool, a whipping boy, a sexual puppet. There’s been more to the male experience than being cut down in droves. From splitting the atom to landing on the moon, I happen to think that the male legacy is magnificent. Men went along with the deal because they got a lot out of it. Where the past is concerned, I’m willing to call it even.

But what of the post feminist present? Is It All Balances Out “a pure and simple lie”? Note that I prefaced the article saying, “I’m well aware that men suffer comparison with women in virtually every measure of wellbeing.” It all balances out EXCEPT for the highly imbalanced gender belief system. That’s not a small thing that’s HUGE. And later in the essay I go on about how feminism’s imbalanced MalePower/FemaleVictimization belief system sets in motion an anti-male cascade.

So, thinking globally/historically, there may be a difference in opinion, but there is no lie in stating that It All Balances Out (IABO). And, thinking currently, given the proviso of the highly imbalanced gender belief system (and the consequences of that imbalance) there is no lie in stating that, otherwise, IABO. But now it may seem that I’m only playing games with rhetoric. Why go on about Balance if it’s not currently “true”?

“If there is a single word that will define a sane future,” wrote Warren Farrell in the preface to my book, “it is balance.” To understand why I consider IABO to be the one gender truth to raise above all others, we must understand the value of the concept. How would a culture-wide understanding and perception of gender Balance solve problems and leave the world a better place? And, how might presenting our truths as the truths that go on the other end of the Balance beam, transform our truths into truths that the general public might embrace rather than reject?

It’s funny but, I’m often asked: If it all balances out, then what’s the problem? The assumption would seem to be that a balanced system is the same as a perfect system. But, as I see it, women suffer injustice along the respect axis, men suffer injustice along the love axis; these injustices may come out even (balanced), but they’re injustices all the same. So, a balanced system is not at all the same as a perfect system. There are many problems. But far and away the deepest problem lies in our failure to know and to acknowledge that It All Balances Out. This failure to perceive Balance results in the one overarching aspect of the gender system that is imbalanced, the gender belief system. Believing that Man has the power and Woman is the victim is one-sided, which is why it is false, which is why it’s poisonous. It is a gender belief system that maximizes victim, vindictiveness, and vengeance motives, which is why it’s a belief system that escalates the Battle of the Sexes.

The Battle rages, inflicting damages on both sides. The damages may come out even, but they’re damages all the same. So, again, a balanced system—especially when it is not acknowledged to be a balanced system—isn’t the same as a perfect system and it certainly hasn’t proven to be an entirely peaceful system. Understanding that It All Balances Out there remains much to be passionate about regarding gender issues and gender politics.

And, crucially, it’s also true that the kind of immature emotional rage that both feminism and masculism can provoke finds no basis of support within an It All Balances Out belief system.

On what legitimate basis will we resent our opposite sex for the various powers, privileges, and exemptions it enjoys when we know our own sex enjoys powers, privileges, and exemptions in equal measure? When we come to the realization that the costs each sex pays for their respective privileges are costs that come out even, there remains no legitimate basis for inter-sex envy and bitterness.

But the only way to perceive this Balance I speak of is to come to an understanding of the politicized perspectives of both sexes. With that understanding, Balance is plain to see. At that point a whole new gender-political space opens up allowing for a whole new level of maturity, forgiveness and fairness. Moreover, when we proceed from the understanding that It All Balances Out on the global level, then when we focus in on any specific instance of gender conflict on the individual level, we do so without the bias and emotional bile currently tending to poison love and respect and healthy negotiation between the sexes.

The Battle of the Sexes is like any other battle in as much as it is fueled by rage and righteousness. But, while other battles may be settled when one side defeats the other, because the sexes are so deeply intertwined, “when one sex ‘wins,’ both sexes lose.” For the Battle of the Sexes, the only win position is a draw. The Battle will only deescalate when the warring factions become willing to accept a balanced perspective. We give up rancor and resentment when we admit that what “they” did to “us” is balanced by what “we” did to “them.”

We acknowledge the wheel of complicity whereby Man exerts a force of influence upon Woman, and in turn, Woman exerts an equal force of influence upon Man. But we give up foolish blaming and take on accountability when we agree that—as is true of each of us as individuals—Man and Woman are really each their own worst enemies primarily responsible for creating their own predicaments. The predicaments of Woman and Man are different, but equivalent. The two ends of the balance beam need not be identical to weigh the same.

It All Balances Out is not an endpoint; it is a new and improved beginning. And a balanced system becomes a far more workable system from which to proceed when it is acknowledged to be what it truly is—balanced! Believing the falsehood that men have the power and women are the victims is the deep underlying problem. Proceeding from the knowledge that It All Balances Out is the solution!

Balance is something that may be espoused even as a matter of principle. It’s healthy. It’s an “olive branch,” a peace offering. It is a decision. It is a leap of faith. For both women and men, it is a constructive and magnanimous position from which to start anew. It is the only mindset that leads to the full restoration and preservation of love and respect between the sexes because it is the only mindset that combines the politicized perspectives of both sexes. It is, therefore, a gender-political structure offering real promise toward deescalating the Battle of the Sexes.

The future “ceasefire” in the Battle of the Sexes in favor of a cooperative era of Peace, Love, and Understanding between the sexes is the reward; and it is attainable, but not without extending ourselves. To reach a perception of Balance we must embrace the truths that are rejected, the truths that are missing, the truths of FemalePower and the truths of MaleVictimization, the truths that go on the other end of the balance beam.

 

By presenting our truths as the truths that go on the other end of the Balance beam, our truths become essential in furthering the goal of evolving gender politics and gender relations (by which we reduce inter-sex rage, resentment, and paranoia; strengthen families and increase father involvement). Should our truths be presented as truths that can bring about all that good in the world, then the general public is given a compelling reason to embrace our truths rather than reject our truths.

Also, within a Balanced gender belief system there can be no justification for females, and only females, having their own special “ism” (“female-ism”). Bereft of the MalePower/FemaleVictimization paradigm that sustains and legitimizes it, feminism cannot long endure.

With It All Balances Out (IABO) we get: a compelling presentation of our truths leading to the demise of feminism and a better world to live in. Yes, currently, Man may be the victim, but perhaps, in the big picture, that is not the most important truth to be emphasized. Within an IABO gender paradigm, there is a healthy sustainable wisdom and forward progress sorely lacking in a “men are the victims” paradigm. So long as we remain stuck in the acrimony of “my victim is bigger than your victim,” there can be no forward progress.

The MalePower/FemaleVictimization paradigm is our true enemy. Let us destroy it by replacing it with Balanced perspectives.

Only within a MalePower/FemaleVictimization (MP/FV) paradigm can feminists come to the bargaining table saying in effect: You men have everything, we women have nothing, so give us what you’ve got because that would only be fair. “Knowing” that men have the power, what else will society do but take power away from men, and give it to women? Knowing that women are the victims, what else will society do but extra protect and advantage women? And so, naturally, society requires Man to pour from his cup half “full” into Woman’s cup half “empty.”

Moreover, if women are the victim, what else can women be the victims of but men, the ones with the power. So, now we’re left with a story of Bad over-empowered men oppressing Good innocent-victim women: thus the MP/FV paradigm leads inexorably to the ManBad/WomanGood paradigm.

Believing that men have the power and women are the victims, men are bad and women are good, sends misandric “sparks” flying in all directions. Countless misandric “brush fires”—such as June Stephenson’s proposed Man Tax—are the inevitable result. Why not tax the “over-empowered,” “criminal sex”? What if believing that men have the power and women are the victims is the source of all our gender political woes? If so, wouldn’t a Balanced gender paradigm be the answer to our prayers?

Let us admit that no human mind can hold the entire female experience on one side of the brain, the entire male experience on the other, and claim to Know, with certainty, which side is lighter/which side is heavier; which is happier/which is sadder; more fulfilled/less fulfilled; freer/more constrained; which is “better”/which is “worse.” The reality of the Big Picture is a reality that simply cannot and will not support any such certainty. In its place, what you end up with is mere opinion.

Pull the camera back far enough, take in gender reality all over the earth all through history, and I believe that It All Balances Out is the one gender truth highest in both quantity and quality of truth. Nevertheless, the main objection to It All Balances Out is that it is not “true.” In the opinion of feminists it isn’t “true” because men have the power and women are the victims. In the opinion of masculists it isn’t “true” because women have the power and men are the victims.

Masculists currently have the better claim. But what if the dreadful man-stats and misandry all result from actions and attitudes society adopts in response to feminism’s MP/FV belief system? If so, then a culture-wide understanding and perception of this Balance I speak of, may be all that’s necessary in order to bring about balance because, in balancing the gender belief system, we balance out the one overarching imbalance from which other imbalances derive.

If social workers, teachers, police officers, judges, legislators, and politicians operated within a Balanced gender belief system, it seems reasonable to suppose that these professionals would do their jobs in a balanced way. It seems to me that, to a large extent, a culture-wide perception of gender balance in power and victimization will, all by itself, take us a long way down the path toward creating gender balance!

Currently, IABO may under represent the victimization of males, but it may also be the best way to remedy that situation. Besides, to render IABO consistent with the facts, I just add the caveat: except for the highly imbalanced feminist gender belief system. Also, as anyone who’s read my book knows, presenting the facts of female power and male victimization as the facts that go on the other end of the Balance beam in no way limits that presentation. I present an ocean of such facts.

But, facts only capture part of what’s true. If women are “winning,” if it’s really that pure and simple, then why is it that recently, and for the first time since such measures have been taken,[1] women’s happiness has sunk below men’s?[2] And how do we account for the overwhelming correlation whereby the most feminist cultures produce the least happy women?[3] I believe it’s because, “When one sex wins, both sexes lose.” It’s because internalizing victim is emotionally self-fulfilling.

I recently read a big thick book on Einstein. Like all the Greats of history, Einstein was male—and so am I. When I read about and dream about the top pantheon in history, I’m dreaming about others of my kind. To me, it’s one of the best things about being male. And no one can reach into my own inner experience and tell me that I’m “wrong” about that. In the debate over which sex is the powerless victim, part of that debate is objective and part of it is subjective. Even under current circumstances, IABO is not a “pure and simple lie.”

I have a dream. It is a hundred years from now and in my dream the history of gender politics goes something like this: At the midpoint of the 20th century, Woman channeled her immense power into a movement based on selfish, self-righteous, self-proclaimed victimhood. The damage her war cost was devastating. Man resisted the strong temptation to respond in kind. He did not escalate the battle. He waved his right to insist that it was he who was the primary victim. Instead, he stepped up, took a leadership role and in his wisdom, he steered gender politics directly toward a healthy, sustainable equilibrium. And we’ve been there ever since.

With little support and/or funding, we few MHRAs have done a heroic job of raising awareness. Our facts and truths are finally beginning to penetrate the “Lace Curtain”! But I think that, strategically, we could do better.

When we present the facts and truths of FemalePower and MaleVictimization as an end in themselves, we turn a lot of people off. Our goals would seem to be: proclaim men the victims and escalate the Battle of the Sexes. Naturally, those goals will tend to be ill-received. We MRAs have cause to be angry and embittered, but we don’t really want to oust Woman from victimhood’s center seat just so Man can sit there instead. And yet it can seem as if we seek to drag the profoundly entrenched MalePower/FemaleVictimization belief system all the way to the far other end of the ideological spectrum when the more doable task of dragging gender beliefs into the middle serves our purposes just as well. Out there among the “straights,” outside the grip of gender ideology, It All Balances Out rings true. But more than that, it rings healthy and hopeful. It’s an olive branch, a peace offering.

When asked, “How does it all balance out?” we’re invited to speak our truths just as we always have. But, because we opened with It All Balances Out, we cannot be dismissed as “victim mongers.” We present our truths within a framework that validates both sides and promises to bypass War and head instead down a path toward a brighter future. In so doing, we invite a more positive response.

IABO is not a magic pill, and there is room for disagreement, but I believe that what I’ve presented here at least has merit. And yet I’m told that, “any honest examination of history and current events will tell you that your particular message has passed its expiration date and is doomed the be ignored — for very, very good reasons.” While my message seems to resonate well with the general public, it sure does tend to emotionally trigger those on both ends of the gender political divide.

We’ve all had dealings with feminists. We’ve all learned to despise their intractable, intolerant, self-righteous victim-dictum. Feminist methods and mindset have proven highly effective, but to what end, and at what cost? What good is to “win” if by “winning” we become what we despise?

So, what will humanity do?—wait for the “right” time?—wait till all agree? Being a matter of opinion, the battle of MalePower/FemaleVictimization vs. FemalePower/MaleVictimization, feminism vs. masculism, can rage back and forth for a long time. But it cannot go on forever, can it? What must we endure and for how long, before we set victim and vengeance aside and finally, inevitably call it a draw? It is exactly because there can be no agreement and no certainly in these matters that we might as well be magnanimous about it. And we men might as well be the magnanimous ones because, while a perception of Balance can only fatally undermine feminism, we men have nothing to lose and everything to gain by it! So I ask, why not take a leap of faith, demonstrate a little gender generosity, and simply call it even?

The contest for Most Powerless Victim can have no victor and no positive outcome. A pox on it! Only by putting that toxic contest behind us can we move forward toward a more evolved phase of gender politics and gender relations.

If the MHRM truly wishes to effect constructive change and peaceful resolutions, I believe it would be wise to stand behind It All Balances Out as its first principle. To Men’s Issues Activists everywhere I say, let It All Balances Out be the banner that unifies us and keeps us on a healthy path. Whether present or distant, it is the inevitable future. What are we waiting for? There’ll never be a “better” time to declare Balance. The right time is now!

 

The approach to gender politics that I’ve outlined here is an approach that the men’s movement has never before attempted. Given proper exposure within the media, I think it could work for us in a huge way, and do so in a manner that future generations of men can look back on with pride.

The Detroit men’s conference attracted considerable media. Perhaps the next conference will do even better. Shouldn’t somebody use that podium to do more than preach to the choir? Shouldn’t that someone attempt to reach the attending press and their readers with a positive and hopeful message they might embrace? I personally would like to reach out with a healthy, appealing message that might bring the multitude on board with us. Bring the multitude on board with us, and we win. And if we win with a new and more evolved approach to gender politics, then everybody wins.

Thanks for reading – Tim Goldich

Author of – Loving Men, Respecting Women: The Future of Gender Politics

Please check out my video on the subject: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQZTEA32WhE

[1]        “Global Gender Gaps: Women Like Their Lives Better,” Pew Research Center, http://www.pewglobal.org/2003/10/29/global-gender-gaps/, October 29, 2003.

Women are somewhat happier than men with their lives overall, according to 38,000 interviews in 44 countries conducted by the Pew Research Center for the Pew Global Attitudes Survey . . . Women’s greater satisfaction with life is pervasive in many of the less-developed regions of the world: in 7 of the 8 countries surveyed in Asia, 6 of the 8 nations in Latin America and all 5 nations in east and southern Africa. In particular, women are much happier than men in Japan, India, the Philippines, Pakistan and Argentina.

[2]        Betsey Stevenson & Justin Wolfers, 2009. “The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness,” American Economic Journal: Economic Policy, American Economic Association, vol. 1(2), pages 190-225, August.

By many objective measures the lives of women in the United States have improved over the past 35 years, yet we show that measures of subjective well-being indicate that women’s happiness has declined both absolutely and relative to men. The paradox of women’s declining relative well-being is found across various data-sets, measures of subjective well-being, and is pervasive across demographic groups and industrialized countries. Relative declines in female happiness have eroded a gender gap in happiness in which women in the 1970s typically reported higher subjective well-being than did men.

[3]        Douthat, Ross, “Liberated and Unhappy,” May 25, 2009, http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/26/opinion/26douthat.html?_r=2&em

On some fronts — graduation rates, life expectancy and even job security — men look increasingly like the second sex. But all the achievements of the feminist era may have delivered women to greater unhappiness. In the 1960s, when Betty Friedan diagnosed her fellow wives and daughters as the victims of “the problem with no name,” American women reported themselves happier, on average, than did men. . . . In postfeminist America, men are happier than women.

national coalition for menIt all  balances out

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NCFM Member Naomi Evans 7th letter to Washington legislators re paternity fraud reform legislation, What kind of civil society continues to treat victims as criminals?” http://ncfm.org/2015/01/action/ncfm-member-naomi-evans-7th-letter-to-washington-legislators-re-paternity-fraud-reform-legislation-what-kind-of-civil-society-continues-to-treat-victims-as-criminals/ http://ncfm.org/2015/01/action/ncfm-member-naomi-evans-7th-letter-to-washington-legislators-re-paternity-fraud-reform-legislation-what-kind-of-civil-society-continues-to-treat-victims-as-criminals/#comments Tue, 06 Jan 2015 05:58:40 +0000 http://ncfm.org/?p=18428 paternity fraudDear Washington Legislators,

The night of March 9th, 2010 is a night I will never forget. It was two days after my husband’s 31st birthday and the day he put a 12 gauge shotgun to his chin with the intention of leaving his children, family and life behind.

It was also the day I had declared I was going to leave and divorce him after six years of marriage, marriage that was fraught with constant legal and emotional hell created by his ex wife. The same woman who committed Paternity Fraud against my husband had also torn our marriage and our lives to pieces during the pursuit of regaining custody of her child. And I was determined to escape and find some level of normalcy for my children before her false allegations of child abuse and unfit parenting led to my own children being taken away.

We had barely survived those past six years, what with legal battles filed one after another, each one ending in biased and unjust rulings against our family. I felt I could no longer bear the heavy emotional burden of it all. Fortunately, as a woman, I had the option of simply walking away, while my husband knew there was no way out. He was a man who would be punished for every “mistake” of paternity made by the Family Court system.

After discovering the genetic truth of his firstborn daughter, Andrew had already been living in a constant state of anxiety and depression during the past several months, and was now faced with losing both the love of his life and his one genetic child. Knowing that he would likely become homeless—as is true of many other single fathers strapped with the burden of court ordered support for multiple children— and he’d probably never find another relationship that could endure such emotional and financial hardship, he believed this was the “end of the line”. If it had not been for my discovering Andrew before he took his life, my quick response to stop his pulling the trigger and whatever small glimmer of hope that convinced him to put the gun down, this world would have lost another great man that night.

For a long time we kept this suicide attempt a secret from most people. It is hard to admit that our lives had boiled down to a life-or-death moment because of one criminal woman whose actions were continually supported by a broken judicial system. Male suicide is a subject that is typically ignored by law makers as though it simply does not exist or is not worthy of acknowledging. But this particular issue is one that affects a very large percentage of men who eventually find themselves without hope after losing everything to the Family Court system. My hope in sharing this family secret with Washington Legislators is that you will begin to understand how deep the emotional and psychological wounds of Paternity Fraud can be.

It is unfortunate that Paternity Fraud victims are too often looked at as selfish monsters that only choose to DNA test children out of greed and an unwillingness to pay for their children. This is simply NOT the case. Even after the horrific discovery that their lives thus far were built upon a complete sham, these men are raked over the emotional and financial “coals” by family court commissioners and judges possessing a complete lack of sympathy for the psychological devastation these victims endure.

Families such as ours are treated inhumanely by a system created to rip children and parents apart, which is exactly what it nearly did to our home, more than once. A system that turns fathers into “weekend visitors” or “duped dad’s” has continued to ignore the growing rate of male suicide created by these injustices.

The most significant emotional damage to my husband came not only from a judicial system that treated him as the criminal, but also from the slow unraveling of his once close ties to his mother and brother. For years they had continued closer familial bonds than I had seen among most families; however, after the discovery of fraud, my husband’s own mother began treating him—just as the judicial system had—as if he was in the wrong for seeking out the truth to begin with. This faulty belief eventually led to a permanently strained relationship between my husband and his mother and brother (who chose to side with their mother). Because there is no justice to be won, these emotional hardships, lacking any real solution, have continued to torment our family on a daily basis. Additionally, our own natural children have been left without their paternal grandmother and uncle.

What kind of civil society continues to treat victims as criminals? What kind of government would continue to justify these legally sanctioned “crimes” as being “in the best interest of the child” when they are actually a means of providing financial support to the criminals? For years now we have tried to explain how unjust these belief and judicial systems are, but our pleas continue to fall upon the deaf ears of our elected officials.

It was not until recently that I discovered one particular Appellate court ruling that finally supported the truth of these matters regarding our decision to DNA test a child—and our rights to disestablish my husband’s false paternity ruling. This particular case involved a man who, like my husband, had raised a child born within a marriage, and did so for eleven years before discovering the possibility that this child might not be genetically his. It was after eleven years of believing this child was his own that a DNA test revealed he was not the father.  Yet the family court system denied his petition to disestablish paternity with claims that the man had failed in “due diligence” to request a genetic test sooner. But the Appellate court disagreed and ruled in this man’s favor with the very compelling belief that:

“The fact that Smith did not demand a paternity test before signing the consent orders does not necessarily demonstrate lack of due diligence. Where a purported father has no reason to suspect the fidelity of the mother, it may not be unreasonable, and may in fact be admirable, for him to acknowledge his paternity without further proof thereof.  The law should not punish a purported father for failing to insist on a paternity test when he has no reason to believe that he is not the father.  A contrary rule would invite suspicion and distrust, and essentially require all purported fathers, upon divorce or separation, to accuse their spouses or partners of infidelity by demanding proof of paternity.  In addition to fostering animosity between the parents, a rule encouraging fathers to contest paternity could also have a negative impact on the father-child relationship.

While it is the policy of this state to require fathers to support their minor children, it is not the policy to extort such support from persons who are not in fact the fathers.  Indeed, if the facts are as Smith represents, we can see no legitimate reason why the DHR, as an agent of the state and of its citizens, would seek to enforce the legal fiction of his paternity.” SMITH v. DEPARTMENT OF HUMAN RESOURCES, No. A97A0257May 16, 1997

These wise and bold statements of the Georgia State Appellate Court are precisely the point we have been trying to make to our Legislators!

Paternity Fraud is but one aspect of a judicial system that has become degraded with unconstitutional laws and corruptions that have nothing to do with real justice. There is a growing movement of victimized and concerned citizens who are asking for reforms—reforms of a system that leaves deep emotional and financial scars and pushes broken and hopeless men and fathers to the point of taking their own lives as the only “solution” to the injustices forced upon them.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,” The Declaration of Independence

Our cries for justice were denied last year when Senator Jan Angel’s paternity bill was allowed to die on the Senate Floor, therefore we have returned again to ask our law makers to uphold their oath of office and to provide the equitable and unalienable rights we have been denied for too long. Remember that:

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.” – John F. Kennedy

Yours Truly,

Naomi Evans –Bremerton (26th District)

http://www.survivingpaternityfraud2ndwife.blogspot.com/

national coalition for men

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NCFM good thoughts to your and yours for the Holidays http://ncfm.org/2014/12/news/uncategorized/ncfm-good-thoughts-to-your-and-yours-for-the-holidays/ http://ncfm.org/2014/12/news/uncategorized/ncfm-good-thoughts-to-your-and-yours-for-the-holidays/#comments Wed, 24 Dec 2014 20:53:29 +0000 http://ncfm.org/?p=18415 national coalition for men

You can leave a Christmas gift by clicking on the picture. Thank you in advance.

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NCFM Member Naomi Evans sixth letter to Washington legislators re paternity fraud reform legislation, a Christmas poem http://ncfm.org/2014/12/action/ncfm-member-naomi-evans-sixth-letter-to-washington-legislators-re-paternity-fraud-reform-legislation-a-christmas-poem/ http://ncfm.org/2014/12/action/ncfm-member-naomi-evans-sixth-letter-to-washington-legislators-re-paternity-fraud-reform-legislation-a-christmas-poem/#comments Tue, 23 Dec 2014 05:37:36 +0000 http://ncfm.org/?p=18380  

paternity fraudDear Washington Legislators,

In the spirit of this Holiday Season, I wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, as well as leave you with this original poem…

T’was the Month Before Session
Twas the month before Legislature in Washington State
As we defenders of freedom impatiently await

Our Children’s stockings hung by the chimney are bare
We victims of Paternity Fraud financially broke. Do you care?

Our Children snuggled all warm in their beds
While visions of expensive presents dance in their heads

Little do they know their parents are sad
That one more Christmas passed without justice to be had

Their Mothers and Fathers begged for reform last year
Hoping Christmas 2014 would bring Holiday cheer

But our hopes were dashed when Jan Angel’s Paternity bill died
And we victims remained broke, angry and emotionally fried

All hope had seemed lost when what news we would hear
But Jan Angel’s commitment to reintroduce the bill again this year!

Into Committee hearings Senator Angel will arrive
With a bill to provide relief for those equitably deprived

For all Washington law makers I have just one confession
A great army of supporters have amassed for this next session

Paternity Fraud is an easily fixed shackle
That we victims and citizens demand you must tackle

“It is Fraud!”
“It is Perjury!”
“It is Extortion and Kidnapping!”
“It is Official Misconduct, Un-Constitutional and Trafficking!”

We citizens depend on your passage post-haste
For you dare not allow one more year to have waste

Let there be Justice and let there be Freedom
So that all children’s fathers shall finally meet them

While you relax with family and enjoy the Holiday cheer
Remember to help Stop Paternity Fraud in the coming New Year!

We ask that you make this our last year to fight
And deliver our Due Process, Merry Christmas, Good Night!

Naomi Evans
Victim of Paternity Fraud-Bremerton (26th Dist)

www.survivingpaternityfraud2ndwife.blogspot.com

national coalition for men

The Washington State Legislature can do the right thing this Christmas and  pass paternity fraud reform legislation.

They can put the ill-gotten money from paternity fraud back into the families who need to support their children of choice.

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NCFM Member Naomi Evans fifth letter to Washington legislators re paternity fraud reform legislation — Women committing Paternity Fraud are guilty of the following crimes… http://ncfm.org/2014/12/action/ncfm-member-naomi-evans-fifth-letter-to-washington-legislators-re-paternity-fraud-reform-legislation-women-committing-paternity-fraud-should-be-considered-guilty-of-the-following-crimes/ http://ncfm.org/2014/12/action/ncfm-member-naomi-evans-fifth-letter-to-washington-legislators-re-paternity-fraud-reform-legislation-women-committing-paternity-fraud-should-be-considered-guilty-of-the-following-crimes/#comments Thu, 18 Dec 2014 04:53:16 +0000 http://ncfm.org/?p=18311 paternity fraud

You talking about me? That’s not fair. I’m a woman and have the right to name any man I want to as the father of my children. Who are you to tell me otherwise? It’s in my kids’ best interest! That’s what the law says. I don’t care about the man, his children of choice, his wife, or his extended family as long as he can pay up. If the rest of them suffer it’s not my concern. I deserve the money!

Dear Washington Legislators,

Although I myself am not an attorney, and therefore do not claim to know all the intricacies of the law, I would like to show how various aspects of Paternity Fraud appear to fit several criminal actions as legally defined under the RCW (Revised Code of Washington).

My intention is not to accuse, threaten or anger anyone in any capacity but merely to expand a broader concept of how Paternity Fraud may be interpreted as a compounding series of criminal actions that Legislators might not specifically be aware of. I think, however, that they should be, in order to better serve their oath of office and uphold their citizens’ Constitutional rights.

A woman who has willfully and intentionally signed an affidavit of paternity (or default judgment against a man), while withholding knowledge of other possible genetic fathers in order to gain an order of child support from the man of her choice, has, by legal definition, committed several criminal offenses. Currently, we operate under the faulty belief that we may be accepting of Paternity Fraud so long as the result is in the “best interest of the child.” But, there can be no rational, legal or moral justification to continue turning a blind eye toward countless acts of criminal activity that are legally perpetrated through an acceptance of a corrupt system.

Women committing Paternity Fraud should be considered guilty of the following crimes:

Kidnapping RCW 9A.40.020 states a person is guilty of kidnapping in the first degree if he or she intentionally abducts another person with intent to hold him or her for ransom or reward or to interfere with the performance of any governmental function. Kidnapping in the first degree is a class A felony.

- In committing Paternity Fraud a woman has abducted or stolen a child from an unwitting biological father in order to “ransom” such child for financial support from an innocent third party. And, in so doing, she has prevented the government’s function of establishing the child’s true parentage.

Child Trafficking under Article 3, paragraph (a) of the Protocol to Prevent, Suppress and Punish Trafficking in Persons, defines “Trafficking in Persons” as the transfer, harboring or receipt of persons, by means of threat, force or coercion, of abduction, of fraud, of deception, of the abuse of power or of a position of vulnerability or of the giving or receiving of payments or benefits to achieve the consent of a person having control over another person, for the purpose of exploitation. Exploitation shall include, at a minimum, the exploitation of labor or services, slavery or practices similar to slavery, servitude. Trafficking in the 1st and 2nd degree are both class A felonies

-At the inception of Paternity Fraud, children are abducted from biological fathers and forcibly adopted to “father-shopped” men through means of threat, force, coercion or fraud for the specific purpose of exploiting the child in order to gain financial support.

Fraud RCW 9A.60.030 “Obtaining a signature by deception or duress” defines a person is guilty of obtaining a signature by deception or duress if by deception or duress and with intent to defraud or deprive, he or she causes another person to sign or execute a written instrument. Obtaining a signature by deception or duress is a class C felony

– Coercing an innocent man into signing a Paternity Affidavit or Birth Certificate under the false pretense that he is the child’s genetic father (while the mother withholds evidence to the contrary) is fraud.

Perjury RCW 9A.72.020 defines Perjury in the first degree as a person is guilty of perjury in the first degree if in any official proceedings he or she makes a materially false statement which he or she knows to be false under an oath required or authorized by law. Perjury in the first degree is a class C felony.

RCW 9A.72.080 “Statement of what one does not know to be true” states “Every unqualified statement of that which one does not know to be true is equivalent to a statement of that which he or she knows to be false.”

– Making false or uncertain claims of paternity, whether written or spoken verbally under oath, is “perjury in the first degree”. Whether or not a woman knows the exact truth matters not; making claims that one does not know to be true is equivalent to making false statements.

The crimes perpetrated by women in cases of Paternity Fraud have, unfortunately, been sanctioned by our lawmakers as a means to an end—that end being financial support for non-genetic children. However, I believe that most law makers have failed to recognize how the state’s continued support of such activities (being “in the best interest of the child”), has consequently pushed these same state officials into a grey area of criminality themselves.

This by no means is to declare state officials or law makers as “criminals,” but rather to expand the view of how continued acceptance of these crimes may be perceived through our current laws. For example:

Extortion is defined as the practice of obtaining something, especially money, through force or threat. RCW 9A.56.12 declares a person is guilty of extortion in the first degree if he or she commits extortion by means of a threat.

– Current laws, that hold innocent men in financial servitude to support non-genetic children, have allowed our judicial system to extort money. Should a man resist court-ordered child support, the system extorts money from the man through real threats to his property and civil rights. These threats include loss of driver’s license, liens to property, bank accounts, tax returns, wages and imprisonment.

Obstruction of Justice; Compound under RCW 9A.76.100 A person is guilty of compounding if: He or she requests, accepts, or agrees to accept any pecuniary (relating to money) benefit pursuant to an agreement or understanding that he or she will refrain from initiating a prosecution for a crime

– With the continued acceptance of Paternity Fraud, some Legislators, Judges and State Prosecuting Attorneys are suspect of agreeing to refrain from dutifully prosecuting criminal behavior—such as Fraud, Kidnapping and Perjury—in order to sustain the collection of federal subsidies (subsidies that incentivize the collection of child support and the legal establishment of paternity). Biological establishment of paternity is, seemingly, considered a “necessary casualty” in the cause of gaining these State funds (along with financial reimbursement to the welfare system by an innocent man). If there is any question of the State’s vested interest in being awarded these federal funds, or whether the amount of subsidies could produce such corrupt oversight within our laws, I feel it is noteworthy to mention the collection of $12.6 million in 2010 and another $12.7 million in 2011. These funds were collected by the Washington State Division of Child Support specifically from these Title IV Part d subsidies. These significant monetary rewards alone are enough to raise the eyebrows of any Paternity Fraud victim or any citizen (that was certainly the case for me when I first discovered these facts last year)

Rendering Criminal Assistance (2nd degree) RCW 9A.76.080 states a person is guilty of rendering criminal assistance in the second degree if he or she renders criminal assistance to a person who has committed or is being sought for a class B or class C felony; rendering criminal assistance in the second degree is a gross misdemeanor.

– As previously shown, the Mothers in cases of Paternity Fraud have committed such felonious acts as Kidnapping, Fraud and Perjury. The state’s governing agents continue to assist these criminal women by legally sanctioning these actions and excusing their legal immunity by claiming it is in “the best interest of the child” (while refusing to prosecute any of these crimes that would—in other instances—be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law).

Official Misconduct RCW 9A.80.010 declares a public servant is guilty of official misconduct if, with intent to obtain a benefit or to deprive another person of a lawful right or privilege: he or she intentionally commits an unauthorized act under color of law; or he or she intentionally refrains from performing a duty imposed upon him or her by law. Official Misconduct is a gross misdemeanor.

– Judges, State Prosecutors and even Legislators are currently failing to uphold their oath of office with regard to protecting victims of Paternity Fraud. These “Officials”, through various acts under color of law, have denied victims their rights. They’ve done that by denying them due process and by refusing to perform duties imposed upon them by the Constitution to uphold laws that were meant to protect against such violations, or by enacting reform that would restore the rights that have been usurped by the inequitable legislation in place.

“It is the duty of the courts to be watchful for the Constitutional rights of the citizen and against any stealthy encroachments thereon” Boyd v. United States,116 U.S. 616, 635

“Where rights secured by the Constitution are involved, there can be no rule making, or legislation which would abrogate them” Miranda v. Arizona, 384 U.S.436, 491

Although the list of criminal activities associated with Paternity Fraud could go on to include Racketeering (18 U.S.C.A. § 1961 et seq. [1970]) Criminal Profiteering (RCW 9A.82.010), and Use of Proceeds of Criminal Profiteering (RCW 9A.82.080), I would like to stop there and end with this final statement:

“Silence can only be equated with fraud where there is a legal and moral duty to speak, or where an inquiry left unanswered would be intentionally misleading…” U.S. v. Tweel, 550 F.2d 297, 299. See also U.S. v. Prudden, 424 F.2d 1021,1032; Carmine v. Bowen, 64 A. 932

It is my sincerest hope that all Washington State Legislators will take heed of these formidable words when considering whether or not to continue supporting the criminal activities associated with Paternity Fraud. I hope they’ll uphold their oath of office by making necessary legislative reform to Paternity laws so as to restore the rights of these victims.

Yours Truly,

Naomi Evans, Bremerton (26th District)

national coalition for men

Read the paternity fraud “Story” at http://www.paternityfrauddna.com/story/ , it’s Ok to get angry, since reading it should make you feel more than just uncomfortable.

Paternity fraud is a crime, several crimes actually, enforce them and the practice will stop.

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Anti-Male Media Bias http://ncfm.org/2014/12/action/anti-male-media-bias/ http://ncfm.org/2014/12/action/anti-male-media-bias/#comments Sat, 13 Dec 2014 01:58:39 +0000 http://ncfm.org/?p=2622 media bias

Media bias! What media bias? Against men!? Nah, I just like polkadots.

 

Media Bias: Council’s sexism hurts good cause; feminist bias in ads clouds message, from the blog Political Cowardice

May 9th, 2011

I’ve adopted several animals and rescued house rabbits and even volunteered at a wildlife shelter, so I know a good cause when I see one.  Promoting shelter pet adoption via the Ad Council’s “Shelter Pet Adoption Campaign” is a worthy cause. It’s a shame the feminists at the Ad Council let their bias against men get in the way of their message.

This is not the first time, if there is on thread that runs through this organization’s ads it’s an effort, sometimes subtle, often overt, to disparage men and boys and cast women as superior, physically, mentally and even emotionally.

The Ad Council is known for creating the ads we see on T.V. or hear on the radio known as Public Service Announcements, (PSA’s) that stations run perhaps for free or at a reduced rate, usually to support some social cause that usually would not have the money for an ad campaign on the scale arranged for by the Ad Council.  They usually have some ad agency do the creative work based upon their direction or guidance.  I’m not sure exactly how much public funds, if any, are involved, either directly or indirectly.

I have repeatedly contacted the Ad Council but get no reply concerning this issue.

One of the more outrageous campaigns created under the Ad Council was for something called “The Family Violence Protection Fund”.  However, this time the cause was not so worthy, the campaign and the Fund provided misleading or even false information and was so biased and twisted it came close to promoting child abuse.

This campaign depicted pre-teen boys as “abusers in waiting” that needed correction or instruction to prevent them from becoming abusers of women which would be only natural in the minds of the feminists at the Ad Council…

Read the article here: Pre-teen boys being neutered by radical feminist organization: Family Violence Prevention Fund (endabuse.org)

read the rest of the article on the blog here.

Anti- Male Ads, the Big List

(Last updated December 10, 2013/first published May 12, 2011:) The following list of anti-male ads is composed by one of our National Coalition For Men members. It will be revised as updates arrive.  If you know of a commercial not included in the list please feel free to email it to us at ncfm@ncfm.org . Please provide a link if the commercial is available on the Internet.

Here is an update to my informal survey of sexism in TV advertising—-showing men as doofuses, or just ignoring them, or pandering to women.  You can use this list to determine which businesses to frequent, avoid, or complain about.  Advertisers degrade men about 19 times more often than women, and usually to a higher degree.

T-Mobile’s ads have been pink the last several years—do they even want male customers?  Also, the last few years, the ads have shown a beautiful female model, sometimes even riding a sleek motorcycle—beauty, class, and accomplishment.  They recently switched their approach to comedy, showing Bill Hader doing stupid stuff like dropping his phone in a urinal, and also showing how Jeremy’s parents are upset with his overseas phone use.  See how differently advertisers treat women and men.  These attitudes are quite prevalent.  Our boys must not think much of themselves after watching years of this.

A recent example of this was brought to us by Buick/GMC.  The two ads showed two people talking after one has gotten up very early for Black Friday, while the other got up late and saved thousands on a new car.  One ad showed two women, the other two men.  In the ad with women, the woman who went shopping just looks tired.  The ad with men showed the man who went shopping has a black eye.  Violence against women is an absolute no-no.  Violence against men is not only OK, it is funny.

Another example of this is Suburu.  One ad shows a mother reminiscing about how her daughter grew up in the back seat of their car.  The ad is about love and sympathy and nostalgia.  At the same time they were showing another ad about a father trying to teach his two sons to drive—the sons are messing up and arguing and fighting, and the mom wonders if dad can handle it.  Not only do they present women and girls as wonderful and sweet while showing males as jerks, but they also must show the males being judged by a woman.

This “men being judged by women” happens a lot.  Rarely do you see the reverse.  Other examples appeared in Liberty Mutual ads, where several men destroy cars (one drives his car into the garage with bikes on top, another is on top of his car in a lake, another thinks he is in reverse but drives through garage door).  Each of these has a nearby woman (bystander or female insurance agent) judging.

Here is the most recent version of our informal study of TV ads portraying men negatively or otherwise showing disrespect to men. Again, 95% of negative portrayals in TV ads are of men. This list can be used to discover which companies do not respect men and whose products should be avoided.

First, a few comments:

Decades ago, advertisers could show positive examples of men. So advertising icons that have survived over the decades must somehow be changed to reflect the new thinking about women and men. Fifty years ago Mr. Clean was a good man—strong, and clean, and hard-working. But in today’s environment, he is being replaced by his grandmother. I wonder if the product name will change to “Mrs. Clean?”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtC-pCCFD3g

A trick advertisers use sometimes is to put men in traditionally female situations in order to make fun of them. Advertisers usually can’t make fun of women so they put men in these situations instead. A recent example is a Planters ad which shows a weird, petty guy getting a manicure and pedicure. Febreze has also made fun of men’s cooking and Clorox has also shown men performing inappropriate domestic chores on the kitchen counter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXpwBmSFYGI

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7l9i/clorox-fish-dinner

Women are too valuable to advertisers (and too sensitive) to offend. Advertisers cannot show any kind of violence or harm to women. Women are respected too much for that. Men aren’t. As a result, all of the bugs that Raid “kills dead” all have male voices. (The odd thing about this is that most of the insects that Raid actually kills are female.) Only men are hit in the head with apples in Redd’s ads. And recently Tomcat has given us “Dead Mouse Theater.” And, of course, all of the dead mice I have seen so far have been male, being embarrassed and killed again in the theater show. It makes one wonder what Tomcat products actually do to female rodents—maybe takes them to a spa?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jt-9rMJK4Ck

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7d5g/redds-apple-ale-backyard-party

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7zdI/tomcat-dead-mouse-theatre

Even in those few ads that do show women in a negative light, there is still a qualitative difference. These ads are usually very mild and are not shown very often. Meanwhile the negative ads about men can be quite vicious and broadcast repeatedly for years. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AC65bfUUHCo

As usual, most all goofy non-humans are male—animals, mucus, robots, insects, dead mice, M&Ms, driving eyeballs, sasquatches, talking hands, talking dentures, centaurs, cartoon characters, etc.

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7zNR/mucinex-its-here

Charity seems to go to women.   Ford, Ashley Furniture, 5-hr Energy, Comcast, and Safeway have all recently had ads fighting against breast cancer.

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7C9x/5-hour-energy-pink-lemonade-living-beyond-breast-cancer

Here is the list of ads, with approximate month and year the ad first appeared.

*** Exceptions: women portrayed negatively, or positive portrayals of men.

3 Musketeers–guy thinks 3 women are giving him catcalls, but catcalls are for candy bar    1/12

5-hr Energy–very happy, smiling woman playing guitar and singing about breast cancer       12/12

5-hr Energy–raspberry pink drink with proceeds going to fight breast cancer     10/13

5-hr Energy–raspberry pink drink empowers women with breast cancer    10/13

5-hr Energy–contributions to breast cancer research     9/14

5-hr Energy–Living Beyond Breast Cancer     10/14

7-Up–man screams when bug crawls on arm       2/14

21st Century–stinky yoga guy   1/09

AARP–in Fraudwatch ad, identity thief is a man      11/13

AARP–in Fraudwatch ad, crook shows how to do grandparents scam     12/13

AARP–men go into women’s restroom, sit on wet paint, drive over bump too fast, women glare     3/14

AARP–sleazy guy on couch performs sweepstakes scam on phone        5/14

Ace Hardware–she wants a special purple, picks from several guys painted different shades of purple    7/12

Ace Hardware–guy drops ring down sink, shamed by woman       4/13

Ace Hardware–new guy is awkward with the banter       4/13

Ace Hardware–guy’s joke falls flat     3/14

Ace Hardware–guy’s “rocket-grilling” joke falls flat       7/14

Activia–why are these ads aimed only at women?

Activia–contribute to Komen   9/10

***Acura–Bette Midler goes overboard as a Christmas caroler   11/11

Acura–Gordon Ramsey goes overboard on cooking dinner     11/11

Acura–(superbowl) Seinfeld and competitor lose clothes on speed boat      2/12

Acura–Dr Phil thinks guy is compensating by looking at huge Christmas tree     11/12

Acura–Santa complains when guy wants to buy motorized Santa for lawn    11/12

***Acura–Suze Orman criticizes her for buying expensive dress     12/12

Acura–denigrates 3 male advisors: spray tanner, mix taper, reinactor     6/13

Ad Council–buzzed driving guy on date, she pays, they walk home to his parents     12/12

Ad Council–buzzed driving guy living with parents     12/12

Ad Council–people play catch with buzzed driver’s keys     1/13

Ad Council–drunk diver is “buzzed, busted, broke,” woman glares at him    1/14

ADT–mom and daughter walk in on burglar     10/13

ADT–family gets security to protect two daughters     10/13

ADT–back door may be open, guy imagines 3 burglars going thru restaurant      2/14

Advil–man belly flops and falls off skates  12/07

Advil — man helps son, gets hit in head   5/08

Advil–man walks into pole looking at pretty woman  1/08

Advil–fat guy on slip & slide and rollerblades into car door   6/08

Advil–sleeping test in tent, woman sleeps with advil, man without doesn’t  11/08

Advil–mucus character is a guy   11/10

Advil–bicyclist’s nurse wife tells him what medicine to use     12/12

Aflac–goofy duck is male

Aflac–smug female doctor says male doctor sells DVDs from his van      3/13

Aflac–duck cheats at golf        2/14

Aflac–duck destroys wood shop with nail gun      5/14

Aflac–duck is bad at yoga, man gets adjusted         8/14

Aflac–duck does not know football         9/14

Airwick–cartoon elephant’s husband is centipede with stinky feet  7/07

Airwick–cartoon giraffe has 2 dirty warthog teenage sons  7/07

Airwick–Phil has stinky feet     3/11

Alamo–beaver makes fun of buffalo

Alamo–buffalo is naked in bathroom, he removes fur to clean it  8/07

Aleve–wife and baby notice he installed counter out of level, baby laughs       8/14

AlkaSeltzer–guy coughs during employer’s golf shot       1/13

AlkaSeltzer–she asks if he is still eating chalk for heartburn    6/13

AlkaSeltzer–guy with cold getting ready for date also told to get hair product     1/14

Allstate–breath holding dork hits statue of Bobby Bowden

Allstate–dork at cafe leaves new car out of gear, rolls into road, hit by truck  10/7

Allstate–dork goes to make call while driving  11/07

Allstate–friends tell guy to get grown-up car insurance   1/08

Allstate–dorks dress as cheerleaders to sneak into game  9/08

Allstate–dork doesn’t know his friend is married   10/08

Allstate–friend orders beef tar tar, dork does too but says hold the tartar sauce   10/9

Allstate–guy is “Mayhem”, puppy eats backseat      7/10

Allstate–guy is “Mayhem”, storm knocks tree on car       7/10

Allstate–guy is “Mayhem”, female jogger distracts boy driver      7/10

Allstate–guy is “Mayhem”, evil GPS in car     7/10

Allstate–Randy, on jack hammer, is one dumb dude        12/11

Allstate–“Mayhem” puts someone on hold for 97 minutes     2/12

Allstate–“Mayhem” is a dog who lets burglars in and gets zapped by collar     3/12

Allstate–young guy in orange knit cap rear-ends older man’s car       5/12

Allstate–announcer keeps correcting dumb guy (poodles are really smart)      7/12

Allstate–he claims men better drivers, she gets good driver discount     10/12

Allstate–girl reassures dad he has right insurance      10/12

Allstate–“Mayhem” drives mower over gravel, breaks windows, dents car     11/12

***Allstate–guys painting of ex shows her eating lizard       1/13

Allstate–“Mayhem” falls backward down stairs       3/13

Allstate–boys in treehouse watch Mrs Koslofsky     4/13

Allstate–guy has horse’s ass tattoo     6/13

Allstate–guy’s motorcycle sounds like a weedwacker    7/13

Allstate–ceiling water leak destroys TV on game day    8/13

Allstate–“Mayhem” starts fire in car in stadium parking lot     10/13

Allstate–toddler daughter criticizes dad for buying cheap insurance     11/13

Allstate–Mayhem doesn’t tie down stuff in back of pickup, dumps it onto freeway     11/13

Allstate–Mayhem run over, hit by truck, attacked by bear     1/14

Allstate–wife loses rock, paper, scissors, but says “wife beats rock” and takes check   1/14

Allstate–friend of a friend steals Zach’s camera at party      1/14

Allstate–son needs app to explain accident to dad       2/14

Allstate–Mayhem points out guy’s kitchen is on fire while he watches game      3/14

Allstate–guy has trouble with his new role as dad       9/14

Allstate–prospective dad gets her ice cream cone in drive-thru, hits pirate       10/14

Alltel–wizard sicks doberman on other phone guys  6/08

Ally Bank–guy moves ahead of other in checkout line, wins $50,000            7/12

***Ally Bank–woman afraid of trying new things, roomba attacks cat, robot dog causes fire      1/13

Ally Bank–guy afraid of being trapped, locked in freezer, tie caught in shredder, can’t lift barbell     8/14

Ally Bank–guy afraid of hidden things, falls through door, attacked by raccoon     1/14

Amazon–Gary Busey talks to things       4/14

American Cancer Society — family (Mom, Dad, little girl) dealing with Mom’s cancer   10/07

American Express–guy uses super hero card at business lunch, German clients mock him, woman pulls out Am Express  7/08

American Express–guy buys business airline ticket with kitty card, clerk at desk calls security   9/08

American Express–Aziz does “too much” to impress a woman      3/12

American Express–Aziz is embarrassingly bad at kayaking     4/12

American Family Insurance–Brady Bunch theme, boys damage house   4/08

Ancestry.com—bald guy has 3 bushy haired ancestors that were barbers       3/12

Angie’s List–mom says life is hectic with 2 boys      9/13

Apple–iphone ad, she asks friend “Did he apologize?”     8/13

Applebee’s–girls’ night out   7/08

Applebee’s–construction crew can’t guarantee quality      3/14

Applebee’s–guy finds his scampi happy place       5/14

Applebee’s–wife objects when he says food is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen    9/14

Apples to Apples–glamorous Bigfoot and Sexy Lincoln      11/12

Arby’s — zoo keepers let animals loose

Arby’s–guy loses bet and marries goat   9/08

Arby’s–guy gets sauce off buddy’s cheek with 2-ft tongue     8/11

Arby’s–lucky guy who always wins is crushed by falling piano        7/12

Arco–guy screams constantly when he finds out there is no credit card fee      12/11

Arco–she is upset when he picks the wrong gas station      6/14

ArmourAll — viking steals guy’s car and wife   7/13

Ashley–dad’s sofa is old and yellow       9/14

***Ashley–mom’s scary dining room chairs that do not match    10/14

Ashley–partners with National Breast Cancer Foundation    10/14

Ask.com–kids can’t drink bad milk but dad can    2/09

Ask.com–she laughs at his question why sweat is salty       3/12

AT&T — guy in Vegas tries to soften to his wife that he is down 5800 “chips”    10/07

AT&T — (lion & Applegate) lion threatens guy  1/08

At&T — (lion & Applegate) Applegate mocks guy talking while others work  2/08

AT&T — fat ugly pool player “Dillweed” missed chance for Motorhead tickets because of bad phone  3/08

AT&T — crazy dad at lover’s lane because he missed call from daughter  3/08

AT&T — “Chuck is an idiot”, shooting baskets in bar while missing tickets to Final 4    4/08

AT&T — guy misses correct pronunciation of guy from Hong Kong, calls him “Mr Stinky Fish Face”   4/08

AT&T — Taekwondo woman kicks guy around, another guy next     5/08

AT&T — wife scolds husband and sons for throwing away red clock minutes  5/08

AT&T– girl is with stinky boy because her phone has no reception   6/08

AT&T–boy checks women in mirror in phone, girlfriend rolls eyes  7/08

AT&T–guy puts family in bad French hotel with dogs rubbing on carpet   7/08

AT&T–guy thinks window is HD TV, watches car towed  7/08

AT&T–guy can’t afford food, steals buddy’s burger and fries  7/08

AT&T–guy writes complaint letter in British accent   8/08

AT&T–Don wants to throw away milky minutes   8/08

***AT&T–Mom’s sister is lactose intolerant    8/08

***AT&T–girl misses Michael Phelps visiting town   8/08

AT&T–dork tries to watch 4 shows at once    8/08

AT&T–dork tries to guess neighbor’s password to get into network   8/08

AT&T–Ned wasn’t supposed to mention “merger” at meeting which goes berserk  9/08

AT&T–dork takes computer outside with long cable   9/08

AT&T–guy put frozen turkey in hot oil, it explodes  11/08

AT&T–Slate Sanchez is now in the blast zone  12/08

AT&T–dork ties TV to himself     3/09

AT&T–dork skeptical about friend’s “teletransporting” system    3/09

AT&T–Mom and daughter school dad on computer technology   5/09

AT&T–dork watches DVDR in bathroom    8/09

AT&T–neigborhood kids act out soap operas for dork    8/09

AT&T-kid screams when with dad     4/10

AT&T–mom and daughter shame dad who can’t understand invisible cord    6/10

AT&T–son thinks he is fooling mom about how long he studies, she embarasses him    8/10

AT&T–guy with slow text message thinks he wasn’t invited to office party, embarrassed    12/10

AT&T–couple does “hot-spot hoppin”, they have disagreement, she glares at him     1/11

AT&T–man forgets anniversary, makes restaurant reservation while on phone    1/11

AT&T–guy watches phone instead of son’s soccer game     2/11

AT&T–cop smashes glass door into guy    2/11

AT&T–guy parks recliner in front of TV store window     4/11

AT&T–flash mob dancer is early, dances by himself    5/11

AT&T–school girl and two women criticize cable guy on career day   5/11

AT&T–co-worker smashes guy’s phone with picture of spider      6/11

AT&T–buddy uses smartphone to send embarassing picture of sleeping friend         8/11

***AT&T–wife thinks husband overspent without asking her, but benefit was free        8/11

AT&T–guy in office is guilty of 7 office rules     11/11

AT&T–couple having “together time”, she catches him looking at phone to check football game     11/11

AT&T–girl calls him to tell him she is giving him the silent treatment      1/12

AT&T–guy lies on speed date, she checks his website to expose the lies      3/12

AT&T–couple in car, she glares at his bad singing          7/12

AT&T–goat grabs guy’s sandwich and kicks pack off rock      8/12

AT&T–guy gets winded hi-5ing tall basketball players       4/13

AT&T–embarrassing dad interrupts kids playing of “Smoke on the Water”       4/13

AT&T–“moms are the best”    5/13

AT&T–son locked out of house, mom opens door by phone    7/13

AT&T–guy is unhappy with female salesperson, asks for supervisor which is the woman      12/13

AT&T–wife intimidates husband with her mean “signature look”          2/14

***AT&T–guy annoyed by loud coworker in “communal seating”        2/14

AT&T–dense male real estate agent copies what 4 women do       3/14

AT&T–nerd installer asks if it hurt when woman fell from heaven      3/14

AT&T–dad forgets to whisper around sleeping baby     3/14

AT&T–installer shoots basket in arena, coworker thinks it is a “strike”      3/14

AT&T–guy wants to sign up at the food court       6/14

AT&T–nerd excited about 100 “likes”       9/14

AT&T–saleswoman is inside customer’s head      9/14

AT&T–nerdy guy asks cop if he puts pepper spray on his burrito     10/14

AT&T–guy really went for embarrassing singing of 12 Days of Christmas     11/14

***AT&T–she can’t think of synonyms for “zero”       11/14

Audi–guy in SUV trying to get out of  parking lot with 18-point turn, woman disgusted  4/08

Audi (Superbowl)–guy slammed onto hood by green police      2/10

Audi–son comes home for Christmas, parents take off in his car   11/11

Audi–girl claims his dad is an alien       5/12

Audi–niece reads vicious emails about Ricky Gervase     3/14

Audi–car splashes 2 guys at bus stop         5/14

Axe–guy with spraying armpits    3/09 & 3/10

Axe–beautiful women dissolve because of guy’s dandruff     3/12

Ballpark Franks–men “easier fed than understood”         9/12

Ballpark Franks–guy drips hamburger on couch cushion, man turns it over      1/13

Bayer–he doesn’t take direction, she glares at him   1/11

Bayer–contributes to women’s heart research     1/11

Bayer–he confesses he didn’t take doctors advice, wife smugly agrees     12/11

Bayer–man treated like bottle of lawn product–tailgate smashes, falls out of car       4/13

Bayer TruBiotics–Erin Andrews makes fun of guy’s gut      1/14

BeautyRest–sleepy man drive mower thru flowers   7/13

BeautyRest–sleepy man runs into closed clear door, spills coffee   7/13

BeautyRest–sleepy man pours coffee into kids cereal     7/13

Beggin Strips–dog with male voice goes crazy over beggin strips   5/08

Belvita–2 stupid policemen knock down beehive, woman glares       2/12

Belvita–women repeatedly kick guy in groin in defense class      4/13

Benedryl — 2 boys sneeze on their mothers  9/07

Beneful — guy talking to dog

Best Buy– dad keeps locking son in car, then son falls out  7/07

Best Buy–wife disgusted with man leaving fridge open, boy wipes nose on sleave, boy has dog lick plate 9/07

Best Buy–sentence fragments, guy likes singing musicals, and is ER inclined instead of mechanically inclined  10/7

Best Buy–2 boys look in attic for gifts, get caught, older one sells out his brother  11/07

Best Buy–boss steals worker’s gift card  12/07

Best Buy–2 guys fight over present  12/07

Best Buy–girl calls dad a “sillyhead” when he buys outdated TV    2/11

Best Buy–geek carried on guy’s back and hung on door    7/11

Best Buy–geek carried on woman’s back      8/11

Best Buy–several ads show women besting Santa (big TV, phone, and laptop (she kicks illuminated Santa off roof)    12/11

Best Buy–(superbowl) makes fun of Alec Baldwin’s Words With Friends on airplane incident       2/12

Best Buy–Santa falls off bannister      12/12

Best Buy–of three Bests in ad were “best mom” and “best grandma”       11/14

Best Chance Auto Loan–devil on shoulder is male, angel is female      3/13

Betty Crocker–dad ate Santa’s cookies.   11/07

Bezzerwizzer–she trades obnoxious date for a dog     12/10

Bezzerwizzer–dad won’t let daughter’s date in    12/10

Bing–woman berates man for getting scroogled in buying pan     12/12

Bing–man thinks he got great email tip for making money, she says he got scroogled       10/13

Bioteen–cartoon male mouth has tooth decay and bad breath      10/14

Birdseye–wolf mom upset that dad started kids to howling      5/13

Bissell–Frankie the dog leaves little surprises on the carpet    4/12

BMW–daughter asks what is “neutering”, dog jumps out of car to song “Big man coming thru”      10/12

BMW–he says best day of life when he buys car, wife and daughter object       10/12

BMW–car reads email when mother-in-law in house, “Hey Honey, where the bleep are you going.”    9/13

BMW–guy gets car when he reflects how he broke up with Brooklyn Decker         4/14

booking.com–she let’s him plan the vacation     6/13

Boost Mobile– man-boy carried in kid-pack around grocery likes breast milk   3/09

Boost Mobile–Danica Patrick’s ugly guy road crew in bikinis    6/09

Boost Mobile–2 pigs with male voices talking in restaurant    9/09

Bounty–hubby saves money by making own espresso, makes mess     8/09

Bounty–Mom corrects boys incorrect facepainting–blue on wrong side   12/09

Bounty–dad and son slide bowl of salsa, make mess, mom cleans up     11/10

Bounty–dad guesses it is a 3-sheet mess, but mom knows it is only one     11/11

Bounty–guy’s good-deal juicer leaks all over counter, wife glares at him       2/12

***Bounty–toddler girl plays in her speghetti       12/13

Bounty Basic–dad dances at BBQ, spills dip       2/14

Brawny–boy spills from big-boy cup, hubby washes dishes badly   4/08

BreatheRight–woman sleeps soundly, men are mouth-breathers       8/14

Bridgestone–man turns car into NFL helmet, wife not happy    9/08

Bridgestone–guy supposedly sent awful email “reply all”, goes around killing and stealing computers   2/11

Bridgestone–(superbowl) Dione Sanders unhappy about control on football   2/12

Bridgestone–(superbowl) woman interviewer glares at guy with quiet basketball     2/12

Bridgestone–guy insulted with “first time on a treadmill?”       9/14

Bud–tough cowboy sings “Tiny Dancer”    2/11

Bud–Ramsey is a pain, but team wins whenever he is at house watching game     9/13

Bud Light — squirrel beats up guy

Bud Light — photogenic ape

Bud Light — wedding with auctioneer so men can get to beer faster

Bud Light — guy says “Dude” to all manner of guys acting dumb   1/08

Bud Light — women with X-ray vision see fat ugly construction worker on jackhammer   9/08

Bud Light–not smooth guy skier crashes    2/09

Bud Light–guy thrown out window for joking about no beer at meetings   3/09

Bud Light–guy crashes bike when other guy loses toupe    3/09

Bud Light–karate guy hurts head     3/09

Bud Light–guy moves sculpture, causes chain reaction destruction    3/09

Bud Light–guy on trampoline falls on table   3/09

Bud Light–woman pushes guy out of moving car   10/09

Bud Light–woman trips waiter thru window   10/09

Bud Light–woman uses nailgun to pin a flower to a guy  11/09

Bud Light–Musketeer sword fight, guy hits other in head with bottle    2/11

Bud Light–friends give guy experience of high-pressure field goal.  He blows it     9/11

Bud Light–friends give guy experience of goal-line dive.  He is creamed.      10/11

Bud Light–guys idea of kitchen remodel is just a bucket of beer, wife scoffs     11/11

Bud Light–(superbowl) guys perform at “Halftime” cowboy bar instead of superbowl    2/12

Bud Light–her bottle code makes him cry      9/12

Bud Light–superstitious guy wants to watch game in his spot in old apartment     11/12

Bud Light–superstitious guys face bottle labels out to assure placekicker makes it      11/12

Bud Light–superstitious guys do various silly things to assure victory (line up cans, different colored socks)    11/12

Bud Light–superstitious guy keeps playing ice dancing music on jukebox to assure his team wins     12/13

Buffalo Wild Wings–guy gets a male stripper at work on his birthday     3/12

Buffalo Wild Wings–guy does the splits on a lighted candle on his wife’s birthday     3/12

Buffalo Wild Wings–champaign cork hits a guy in his one good eye     3/12

Buffalo Wild Wings–coach shames a guy’s manhood to get him to take last chicken leg     11/13

Buffalo Wild Wings–woman upset when he dips into more than one sauce      11/13

Buffalo Wild Wings–guy loses bet to eat spicy wings      2/14

Buffalo Wild Wings–mean guy makes fun of guy with shirt tucked in      3/14

Bufferin–mom gets headaches from 3 boys        12/11

Buick–she is disappointed in gift of small car     12/11

Buick–she drives his car, shakes up pop, he opens and gets sprayed       9/12

Buick–family disappointed with dad’s gifts of seques       11/12

Buick–daughter disgusted with dad who drives her on date and plays no-touching songs      12/13

***Buick–mom can’t get infant son to eat, dad can      1/14

Buick–Steve steals neighbor’s lights       3/14

Buick–his raise is good for her       9/14

build.com–he is not very handy, she says to buy new ones     4/14

Burger King — SpongeBob no Pants

Burger King–man with small hands can’t eat whopper  1/08

Burger King–guy is “arrogant punk”, thinking he deserves sandwich for helping discover a planet  7/08

Burger King–King’s son kicks him in the shin  7/08

Burger King–King is hit by a cab    9/08

Burger King–man in drivethru pushes car out of his way so he can get Steakhouse sandwich  11/08

Burger King–Kingon gives guy nipple pinch   5/09

Burger King–Kingons take guys girlfriend   5/09

Burger King–King knocks guy into cabinet    3/10

Burger King–“offset your stupid”, guy tries to adjust rooftop dish in lightning storm   8/10

Burger King–guy’s briefcase is only good for carrying breakfast        10/10

Burger King–wii competition, she is kicking his buns       11/10

Burger King–Jay Leno drives thru restaurant      3/12

Burger King–sexy Salma Hayek causes guy to faint      4/12

Burger King–girl claims 2 guys stole her idea of putting fries on hamburger    9/13

Burger King–wife complains he never takes her to the equator     9/13

Burlington–he falls while ice skating        12/12

Burlington–son throws mom’s watch in the toilet       4/13

Burlington–BBQ flares up on dad for daughter’s graduation party     5/13

Bush’s Beans–dog tries to give away secret recipe in video game      4/14

Butterfinger—woman calls 2 guys idiots after one is stapled to wall   4/10

Cadillac–woman pulls up to the boys club  11/07

Cadillac–husband can’t get presents right  12/07

Cadillac–Cadillac knows she is different kind of woman, doesn’t want cup-holders  4/08

Cadillac–he leaves present on top of car       12/12

Cadillac–Stacy’s mom has several men gawking     11/13

Cadillac–Kyle keeps taking brother’s stuff     11/13

Cadillac–everyone is looking at car, dork thinks they are looking at him      9/14

Caltrate–“women run the world”     1/11

Campbell’s — man goes gah gah over soup  10/7

Campbell’s — guy dragged down stairs for low sodium soup   9/08

***Campbell’s–mom is terrible dancer      9/13

Campbell’s–mom negotiated son’s (Matthews) football contract       9/13

Cancer Center–both wife and husband interviewed for his prostate cancer    6/13

***Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter–woman blow-dries a chicken      4/14

Capital One–man runs into huge snowglobe 9/7

Capital One–Star Wars take off, evil masculine guy wants kittens    1/08

Capital One–general makes credit card instead of destroying meteor  6/08

***Capital One — ugly daughter of medieval king

Captial One–armadillo man  7/08

Capital One–man attacked by giant squid  7/08

Capital One–Santa Claus makes new card while problems in shop  12/08

Capital One–boy gets hit with dodge ball to select card picture, spaghetti Jim wins    3/09

Captial One–several ads with viking? doofuses

Capital One–baby throws cereal at Jimmy Fallon     11/11

Capital One–hot tar is poured on guy      5/12

Capital One–three men are hit in head playing Smack-a-Goth      5/12

Capital One–man hit in the face with a big rock       2/13

Capital One–Baldwin is 007, his phone shoots darts and lightning, hits guys, pretty woman is backup      3/13

Capital One–guys make fun of Charles Barkley’s big underwear       3/13

Capital One–Barkley calls game of 4th graders      3/13

Capital One–Barkley says he gets stuff for free, but Baldwin must pay for basketball programs     3/13

Capital One–Baldwin picks SW State to win tourney, but they aren’t in tourney      3/13

Capital One–Baldwin claims to be good at ball—bocce ball       4/13

Capital One–Charles Barkley and Greg Anthony insult each other      3/14

Capital One–Charles Barkley refuses to admit he left car lights on      4/14

Capital One–Charles Barkley thinks pretzel guy wants autograph       4/14

Capital One–fast food clerk asks Charles Barkley to do bobblehead      4/14

Capri Sun–boys try human sling shot     5/11

Capri Sun–lifeguard falls thru 25% less ramp  6/08

Carco Caps–guy has gas on plane, women glad he has product       8/14

Care.com–girl says nanny is acceptable if she can handle her brother      3/14

CareerBuilder (Superbowl)–casual day with fat guys in underwear (couple women in background only)    2/10

CareerBuilder(Superbowl)–chimps drive cars that block a guy’s doors     2/11

CareerBuilder–(superbowl) chimps play tricks on co-worker     2/12

Carfax–car was in accident by sleazy guy       12/11

Carmax–without the internet, 2 guys would have to work 9/7

Carmax–rude guy on date, used very old picture   10/09

Carmax–guy tries to spray himself with perfume, but really mace   11/9

Carmax–guy puts tongue on frozen pole    12/09

Carmax–guy buys cheap car without doors       1/10

Carmax–guy buys cheap car without roof     2/10

Carmax–guy buys cheap pickup without bed    3/10

Carmax–guy buys cheap car without seats, uses real buckets     4/10

Carmax–wrestler gets hit with folding chair     2/11

Carmax–guy buys car without A/C but has fan       5/11

Carmax–guy uses muscle men as wheels, even skinny guy for spare   6/11

Carmax–guy’s GPS is old guy in the back seat      7/11

Carmax–weatherman guarantees 5 days of sun, TV station not happy      12/11

Carmax–dad lets go of son on bike, son falls       2/14

Carnival–guy gets first water wedgie   4/10

Cars.com–bad outcomes for guys who go first: food-tester poisoned, transporter mutilates guy, cowboy shot with arrows   2/11

Cars.com–(superbowl) guy has 2nd head which sings badly     2/12

***Cars.com–parents say they like son more, daughter breaks lamp    6/13

Cars.com–in order to instill drama, car salesman lets wife give husband a lie-detector test       5/14

Cars.com–guy eats Chinese and his face swells     5/14

Cars.com–loser guy on date is into puppets      7/14

***Cascade–husband is right about not needing to scrub muffin pan           7/12

***Cascade–kitchen counselor helps mother and daughter with dirty silver     12/13

Cascade–wife criticizes him for bargain brand that takes 6 packets, counselor agrees      7/14

Cascade–he scrapes food off of cleaned dishes, wife is upset      9/14

Car Toys–product means she will never have to scrape windshield again     12/12

Castrol GTX oil– 3 guys cars get sludged

Castrol–guys on couch get sludged while laughing at cars on TV getting sludged   6/08

Castrol– Scottish guy hits other guys with dipstick    3/09

Caterpillar–psa promoting getting women and girls out of poverty     11/13

CBScares–valentine gift for her, check yourself for testicular cancer     1/13

CDW–Charles Barkley sleeps with a basketball      3/13

Centrum–wife was right about vitamins       3/13

Century21–(superbowl)–woman defeats Trump, Sanders, Ohno        2/12

CenturyLink–guy makes bad decisions, cart down hill, food from truck, guys’ night out at rodeo night at bar     11/12

Cepacol–female giraffe helps guy giraffe with sore throat   12/08

CharlesSchwab–son’s questions confuses dad concerning his wealth management     6/14

Charmin–wife and kid of bear laugh at him for losing 10 scoop ice cream cone   5/08

Charmin–bear son isn’t a man until he cleans the toilet paper bits from his butt      3/12

Charmin–wife bear criticizes him for using too much toilet paper       1/13

Charmin–wife bear nags husband to only use a few sheets     6/13

Chase–she is good at yoga, he isn’t    4/10

Chase–wife laughs at him for not knowing how to pay with smartphone     12/11

Chase–(superbowl) Drew Brees’ kid kicks ball through several houses      2/12

Chase–guy has trouble riding a segue           2/12

Chase–guy is embarrassingly thrilled after finding $1 on the street       2/12

Chase–man shivers in grocery freezer      4/12

Chase–boy gets drumset, parents get noise-reducing headphones    10/13

Cheer–hairy man loses shirt which has the dingies   11/7

***Cheer–Cheer lady takes skirt off tennis player

Cheerios–box says “Shut up Steve”  1/08

Cheerios-contest: she lowers cholesterol, he finishes kitchen plumbing, she shames loser  4/08

Cheerios–dad doesn’t want to share with son    9/10

Cheerios–wife tells him he still has to go to the gym      6/12

Cheerios Honey Nut–bee frightened by several framed bugs on wall     6/12

Cheerios–dad promises daughter a puppy, mom not happy      2/14

Cheerios–girl pours cereal on napping dad         6/13

Cheetos–construction workers party while other is behind closed door, but no walls

Cheetos–2 bank robbers are ignored because the employees are on cheetos break      7/12

Cheetos–robot gives a guy a cheeto and then hits him          7/12

Cheetos–hotel clerk is bribed to let innertubes into pool       7/14

Cheetos–daughter gives dad a bra tan      9/14

Cheezits–immature male cheese       6/10

Cheezits–immature male cheese puts shoe polish on evaluators cup      1/12

Cheezits–immature male cheese gets researcher with snake in can        7/12

Cheezits–immature cheese bulks up his muscles      7/13

Cheezits–cheese thinks guy is an alien with a probe      2/14

Cheezits–immature cheese asks about his Heisman pose     10/14

ChefBoyardee–wife stops dumb dad who tries to tell kids about veggies in product     8/10

Chevy–Howie Long picks up 2 guys out of gas  6/08

Chevy Traverse–car and guy with no shirt are “beautiful and useful”   10/08

Chevy–Howie Long shames guy for “man-step” on pickup    1/09

Chevy Malibu—women laugh at one’s date, “professional student of life”   2/10

Chevy–transformer throws guy across car lot     2/11

Chevy Volt–guy gets hassled for going to gas station to go to bathroom    9/11

Chevy Volt–guy hassled at drive-thru, worker eats his sandwich    10/11

Chevy–woman pulls on beard of look-alike Santa salesman      11/11

Chevy–(superbowl) Dave who drove Ford did not make it through apocalypse       2/12

Chevy–graduate thinks his gift is new car instead of fridge        1/12

Chevy–announcer is criticized for yelling      4/12

***Chevy–dad wants to buy 2 brake sets because daughter is so rough on them     6/12

Chevy–wife sarcastically asks him if he wants to check the car again       6/12

Chevy–mom wants to run muddy son through car wash        1/13

Chevy–man grabs glasses on a chain from a strange woman, not his wife     11/13

Chevy–guy drops coins in Santa look-alike’s coffee cup      12/13

Chevy–man embarrassed in front of wife by emails read by Siri       2/14

Chevy–boy keeps kicking back of mom’s seat       6/14

Chevy–man texting while walking crashes into pole      9/14

Chili’s–office game of cake walk, woman shoves guy to floor   7/08

ChoiceHotel.com—guy does goofy dance on top of luggage    6/11

ChoiceHotel.com–guy does “trust” fall onto pavement, no one catches him     3/12

ChoiceHotel.com–guy does “happy dance” on suitcase         7/12

ChoiceHotel.com–“freebies”, he hears “free bees”, wears beekeeper suit     9/12

Cigna– “Go You” ad for all women         5/14

Cingular — man must have done something really bad since he sent flowers

Circle K–worker jumps off skyscraper after coffee  11/07

Circle K–woman moves chair into guys groin to steal his coffee  11/7

CITI — woman keeps redecorating, finally realizes husband is the problem   5/08

CITI–climbers, focused on woman though man is Alex Honnold–best current climber   1/12

CITI–she tells him he is boring, boring, boring        10/12

***CITI–“have a super sparkly day”       11/12

Clear.com–guy reaches his shirt limit, 2 guys without pants        2/12

Clorox–kid footballer intentionally jumps into mud  12/07

***Clorox–positive ad showing dad cleaning bath for his son   8/08

Clorox–only male mannequins make stains   8/09

Clorox–guy has very dirty white socks   5/10

Clorox–dad changes diaper on kitchen counter, mom disgusted       9/10

Clorox–husband puts plunger on kitchen counter, wife disgusted     10/10

Clorox–husband feeds birds on kitchen counter, wife disgusted      2/11

Clorox–guy cleans fish on counter, wife disgusted     5/11

Clorox–2 dads in park ignore the boy who needed a bathroom      11/11

Clorox–Becky has to wash her robe after disgusting Uncle Steve wears it    4/12

Clorox–son is successful using potty, but spills it carrying it to show mom      5/12

Clorox–son brags about doing potty, mom finds it in tub       10/12

Clorox–mom tells son not to wipe nose on his sleeve, so son wipes nose on man’s sleeve    12/12

Clorox–sweaty jogger throws dirty shirt on table, wife disgusted      1/14

Clorox–elderly dad gets a massage on the kitchen counter, daughter disgusted       7/14

Coffeemate–girl scout shames guy for not deserving drink    11/13

Coke–big promoters of Go Red for Women  2/08

Coke–ad promoting Go Red for Women    2/11

Coke–2 guys have slap fight during taste-test     3/11

Coke–Sharon wins basketball bracket contest 7 years in a row      3/13

Coke–he plays video games instead of picking up her parents at airport     4/13

Coke Zero–man has always watched stuff      9/13

Cold-Eze–woman on plane uses spray while next to sniffling man       1/14

Colgate–guy is slapped by cold ice cream    8/11

***Colgate–woman has more germs in mouth than a black guy          8/12

Columbia–half naked guy pelted with snowballs      12/13

Comcast–female TV anchor schools guy on Century Link bad deal      1/12

Comcast–daughter criticizes clueless dad who uses her pink laptop      1/12

Comcast–two houses drag race, her’s wins       2/12

Comcast–dad cannot get any love for choosing comcast, even dog ignores him     2/12

Comcast–he ruins her TV show and surprise party       3/12

Comcast–2 news anchors, he leaves when there is 10 seconds to air      3/12

Comcast–guy refers to boss as Bozo while boss is on conference call     3/12

Comcast–groom’s friend interrupts wedding, bride angry         7/12

Comcast–he buys wife 80s computer, daughter gets etch-a-sketch for tablet     11/12

Comcast–he buys her a payphone      11/12

Comcast–dad and son compete in race car game, daughter wins, high-fives mom     1/13

Comcast–Brian Urlacher saves woman from branch, scares installer, biker runs into trash    1/13

Comcast–she wants to be entertained in airport, makes fun of him wearing pillow incorrectly     1/13

Comcast–Usain Bolt has insane brother      4/13

Comcast–ad for pink ribbon (breast cancer) campaign     10/13

Comcast–dad is involved in football game, misses car accident, fire, and bathtub crashing thru ceiling   10/13

Comcast–Tommy steals internet gateway and puts it in his race car    11/13

Comcast–mountain lion enters house while he concentrates on tablet     11/13

Comcast–guy puts TV on dog so he doesn’t miss any of game      12/13

Comcast–at dinner, wife and kids wear TVs so dad can watch game      2/14

Comcast–woman corrects Jimmy Fallon who uses celebrity voices into phone     2/14

Comcast–Mythbuster guys blow up a guy’s tablet      5/14

Comcast–her online security is a goofy knight        8/14

Comcast–goofy knight wakes kid with his loud chip-chewing      9/14

Comcast–dog protests, guy chases the ball       9/14

Comcast–weird naysayer wants a slow download on computer     10/14

ConocoPhillips–mom and daughter make fun of his cooking    10/11

Consumer Cellular– guy doesn’t think he is cheap       4/13

Corona Beer — spooky ghost turns out to be dorky guy with no tan  10/07

Corona Beer–bottle is moved to hide fat ugly guy  6/08

Corona Beer–he looks at woman on beach, she squirts with lime    1/10

Corona Beer–she looks at guy on beach, he shakes her bottle, she picks up his bottle     3/10

Corona Beer–guy sees 3 women on beach, squirts himself with lime     6/10

Cottonelle–guy is shamed for having naked toilet paper    7/11

Cottonelle–Tim has a naked roll    8/11

Cottonelle–she nags him for not backing up the toilet paper     12/11

Cottonelle–he complains the spare roll is out of reach, she tells him to put the seat down     2/12

Cottonelle–2 guys fight over nickname of product, she interrupts with winner      10/12

***Cottonelle–sister turns shower on fully dressed woman who is taking dry shower      3/13

Cottonelle–speed-dating is the quickest way to find out about guys’ bums     6/14

Courtyard–pretentious passenger teases Viking rowers       11/14

Cracker Barrel–guy sneaks into guy’s kitchen at night to make ad       3/14

CreditCards.com–goofy, clumsy cards pitch themselves       11/14

creditfairy.org—guy believes in credit fairy, woman tells him no such thing    8/08

Crest–guy with onion breath exhales onto pretty trainer      11/11

Crest–she has to get him to say hello  (instead of saying hello herself)     4/13

Crestor–guy celebrates with stupid dance      10/13

Crunchy Nut–guy dresses like in Himalayas so he can eat breakfast during day    7/11

***Crunchy Nut–woman wears Chinese dragon costume to eat cereal during day    8/11

Crunchy Nut–goofy superhero in yellow tights      6/12

Crystal Geyser–check-out woman shames guy for his purchases      5/14

Crystal Light–“girl power”, she runs down purse thief who is on scooter      3/12

Curves — why is a cereal only for women?

CVS Drug–all female cartoon with Sarah McLachlan song  12/07

CVS Drug–man trips over tennis net, boys throw rocks at beehive     10/14

Dairy Queen–male animated lips talk in high excited pitch when talking about product  4/08

Dairy Queen–little girl gets boy to buy her sundae, “like shooting fish in a barrel”   5/08

Dairy Queen–daughter in fort in living room sells dad his dinner   6/08

Dairy Queen–dad is a baby for Girl Scout blizzard   6/09

Dairy Queen–caveman hits other with rock     3/10

Dairy Queen–song details her date’s shortcomings      5/12

Dairy Queen–guy sells artificial fruit         5/14

Dannon–boy who needs DanActive gets tossed around by girl in judo class   4/08

Dawn — mom with eyes in back of head catches 2 sons misbehaving

Degree–dog bites robot in groin   8/08

Degree–wolves attack sweating guys    1/11

Degree–3 guys in underwear are thrown in ice truck with wolverine      5/11

Degree–guy is running ahead of bear on exercise wheel      3/12

Dell–office carolers, man embarrassingly bad singer   11/08

Delsym–man coughs on woman on plane, he has a talking fist

Delsym–boy coughs on 2 girls at recital, he has talking fist

Delsym–mom tries to quiet son & husbands cough with remote      11/10

Delsym–his coughing ruins Superstar show      12/12

Denny’s–guy has a $4 sweater        1/13

Denny’s–guy has trouble with triangle, square and circle with kids      1/13

Denny’s–dad impressed with daughter’s genius, but she points out it’s written on the bill       3/14

Dept of Transportation—drunk drivers (all men) with beer filling cars and helmet    8/08

Depend–dad yells at daughter’s gymnastics presentation, women disgusted      2/14

Depend–woman knees man in the groin       2/14

Dial-a-Mate— ladies are free   5/08

DiGiorno — wife turns sprinkler on rude husband

DiGiorno– guys get carpet muddy   5/10

DiGiorno–guy has a balloon-head       6/14

DirectTV — Charlie Sheen beans batter to show colorful bruise

DirectTV– board room, guy suggests raising prices to get the rich’s disposable income  5/08

DirectTV–in board room, guy says 90% believe anything 50% of time   6/08

DirectTV–in board room, guy suggests “get youthenized”, women smirk, men clueless    3/09

DirectTV–woman asks about King Kong—if only he were more evolved    7/09

DirectTV–waitress wrings rag into drinks of snooty guys     8/10

DirectTV—cop tazes guy who is his competition in fantasy football league    9/10

DirectTV–projectionist hit with blow dart     10/10

DirectTV–cute young woman inherits most everything, man goes nuts when he inherits 6,000 movies   2/11

DirectTV–little girl grabs pixie Eli Manning, won’t let go      9/12

DirectTV–dentist sneezes in guys face, turtle bites guy’s hand      12/12

DirectTV–old man in shoe can’t watch sports because too many kids       4/13

DirectTV–Bill wants romantic comedy, but find’s himself getting beaten up in ring       9/13

DirectTV–guy in sidecar breaks off from motorcycle, speeding downhill     11/13

DirectTV–squirrels attack Dave     11/13

DirectTV–man stung by bug becomes “big fatty face”     1/14

DirectTV–man is slammed down by mountain gorilla      1/14

DirectTV–hangglider flies into electric lines, causes his father to be punched in stomach     1/14

DirectTV–man eats poison berries and chases imaginary butterflies       2/14

DirectTV–super creepy Rob Lowe        9/14

DirectTV–less handsome Rob Lowe        9/14

DirectTV–painfully awkward Rob Lowe    10/14

DirectTV–crazy hairy Rob Lowe       11/14

DirectTV–scrawny armed Rob Lowe      11/14

Discover–mom watches son pig out   9/09

Discover–several with bearded “Peggy”    8/10

Discover–guy calls in to quit, “Peggy” gets “retrained”, hit by puppet    4/11

Discover–woman talking to helpdesk, husband didn’t pay bill, and went for milk brought back unhousebroken puppy    1/13

Discover–2 guys high-five over the phone       1/13

Discover–guy who doesn’t like surprises is surprised     11/13

Discover–guy wants to buy frog protection       5/14

DISH network–astronauts forget to bring tools    5/10

DISH network–astronaut needs space     5/10

DISH network–astronaut is bad singer    6/10

DISH network–he jumps out of moving car to prove her wrong      3/12

DISH–man almost hits another in head with metal bar      6/13

DISH–the Boz wants to back to college      9/14

Disney–dad as jedi knocks over store display      1/14

Dodge Charger (Superbowl)–men give in to women as long as can drive car, man’s last stand   2/10

Dodge–woman smacks brother       4/12

Dodge–Anchorman (Will Farrell) teases horse      10/13

Dodge–Anchorman (Will Farrell) yells at dancers     10/13

Dodge–Anchorman (Will Farrell) can’t pronounce mpgs     10/13

Dodge–Anchorman (Will Farrell) glove box holds lots of gum     10/13

Dodge–Anchorman (Will Farrell) say all cars are free but he is lying      12/13

Dodge–Anchorman (Will Farrell) says gas will always be cheap      12/13

Dodge–Anchorman (Will Farrell) thinks GPS woman is trapped in dash     12/13

Dodge–Anchorman (Will Farrell) pronounces it “Yodge” with a soft “D”       1/14

Dodge–Anchorman (Will Farrell) throws 1000 eggs at car      1/14

***Dodge–Joan Rivers makes fun of her leathery skin and bad memory     2/14

Dodge Dart–guy upset that friend touches his car with his voice       8/14

Dodge Dart–guy shuts garage door on friend so he can’t touch car      8/14

Dodge Dart–guy wants to key friend’s new car      10/14

DollarShaveClub–guy punched in groin and head      11/14

DollarShaveClub–2 guys tasered while trying to buy blades     11/14

Dominos–man makes gaudy abs while waiting for pizza

Dominos–guy shaves eyebrows while waiting, woman delivery disgusted  2/08

Dominos–guys learn NY accent while waiting  2/08

Dominos–guy offers sex while 30 min wait, she asks about remaining 28 min.   8/08

Doritos–guy takes a snow globe to the groin   2/09

Doritos(Superbowl)–2 guys attacked for stealing Doritos     2/10

Doritos(Superbowl)–guy zapped by dog collar     2/10

Doritos(Superbowl)–pug dog knocks door over on guy teasing it    2/11

Doritos(Superbowl)–guy sucks other’s finger, rips pants off of guy to smell them    2/11

Doritos(superbowl)–guy is threatened by Great Dane who buried cat           2/12

Doritos–(superbowl) granny steals chips by using kid on slingshot       2/12

Doritos–Gary turns into a bird of prey      2/12

Doritos–son sasses mom       2/14

doublewhammy.com–guy with psoriatic arthritis is hit with bricks and punching gloves    4/14

Dove soap–ad promoting programs instilling self-esteem in girls   9/08

Dove soap–another ad promoting self-esteem in girls      9/13

Dove Men Care–guy receives four deserved slaps     4/13

Downey–Mean Joe’s jersey stinks, she throws it back     3/12

dropcam–parents catch son having “nothing but calculus” party      3/14

Dr Pepper–Orange County Chopper Senior asks guy what drink tastes like, beats him up for wrong answer    5/11

Dr Pepper–cartoon merman punches a hole in his water container         2/12

Dr Pepper–obnoxious vendor interrupts sideline interview       9/14

Dr Pepper–Larry the goofy vendor takes selfie with football trophy       11/14

Dr Scholls–guy goes nuts over parking ticket until he starts gellin   2/08

Dr Scholls–guy goes nuts in rain, car splashes, then calm  4/08

Dr Scholls–wart is male   4/08

Dr Scholls–for Her, for high heels   7/08

Dr Scholls–family can’t recognize dad who wants to dance, bike, walk      1/12

Dulcolax–man climbs over woman to get from airline seat  12/07

Dulcolax–woman between gross guys on bus        7/11

Dulcolax–woman miserable in movie theater because of tight quarters with guys     10/11

Dulcolax for women     6/12

Duluth–cartoon guy has his crotch in a vise       9/13

Duluth–man has “ballroom jeans” so he doesn’t sing soprano while crouching     11/13

Duluth–women with long tail T-shirt zaps gawking gophers     11/13

Duluth–how to fix plumber’s butt        3/14

Duluth–Wet Willie’s pants fall down when wet       5/14

Duluth–angry beaver chops a guy in half      9/14

Dunkin Donuts–Dan eats kiddy cereals    9/09

Dunkin Donuts–guy eats her smokehouse sausage too      10/11

Dunkin Donuts–wife who finds everything for him asks “Where would you be without me?”    11/13

Dunkin Donuts–husband eats her spiced sausage sandwich    9/14

Easy Mac — woman microwaves food while man coughs on steam table

Easy Mac — guy wants to share big table with girl but there is no room   8/08

ebay–guy throws phone at bee so he can get new one, daughter disgusted      10/11

edmunds.com–man has a car for a head      2/14

Edward Jones—man seals leak in dam with gum  9/07

Edward Jones–man sells painting at auction right after buying it

Eggo–woman scoffs at his carpentry skills as cup slides off table     4/12

eHarmony–woman speed dater deals with strange men     7/13

Embassy Suites–weird guys, “you can handle everything”      3/13

EmergenC–two sons are roudy in back seat      12/12

Empire Carpets–man gets bad haircut, alterations, glasses     7/13

Environmental Defense Action Fund — man on train tracks says global warming wont affect him, little girl behind him  11/07

esurance — cartoon woman outplaying several male robots at basketball & hockey  (2)

esurance–coworkers see embarassing pic on phone where “Frank gets his dance on”   12/10

esurance–woman earns best actress award for saying two guys are funny      4/11

esurance–woman makes fun of out-of-touch guy, raise the roof in 1999     5/11

esurance–woman sends guy’s dating profile to coworkers       5/11

esurance–guy regrets eating gas-station sushi      1/13

esurance–self from future throws himself off computer to prevent mistake      4/13

esurance–guy doesn’t rewind his DVDs, wife rolls her eyes       2/14

***esurance–older woman doesn’t understand social networking     3/14

esurance–guy filling pool shows how out of touch he is       4/14

esurance–guy makes selfies on the copier      6/14

esurance–Milton doesn’t understand selfie or twitter       8/14

etrade–talking baby throws up    2/09

etrade–talking babies, make fun of singing   3/09

etrade–(superbowl) Bobby is speed dating in maternity ward      2/12

etrade–baby not happy with blabby cat sidekick    3/14

Excedrin–guy loses control while power-washing deck       8/10

Excedrin–couple in bed, she says her headache is gone but sex is “not going to happen”       2/14

Expedia–presents “building blocks of perfect girls’ weekend    12/09

Expedia–woman and 2 men competing, judge praises woman with “major wow factor”     11/11

Experian–two male customer-service computers connect woman to pay-phone     6/14

Experian–computer-server distributes guy’s identity to everyone        9/14

Experian–computer-server makes annoying modem noise to irritate customer    10/14

Exxon–psa promoting math and science for girls     10/13

Fakechecks.org–sleazy man tries to con man and woman (2)   9/07

Farmers Helppoint–guy riding through traffic on little bicycle  4/08

Farmers–old guy trying to impress woman puts jet ski in tree    11/10

Farmers–guy doesn’t know flooding house is an exercise    11/10

Farmers–guy in simulator car gets hot coffee in lap       8/11

***Farmers–woman drops biggest hail stone       5/12

Farmers–spokesman hits goofy thief on skates with football, he goes into trash       4/13

Farmers–boy breaks valubles, teen boy wrecks car     5/13

Farmers–announcer in back seat tries to stop drivers bad habits     8/13

Farmers–dog drags man thru fence into pool       2/14

Farmers–male uninsured robot rearends car       2/14

Farmers–thieves hide in bush outfits         8/14

Farmers–guy does things fast, not right      8/14

Farmers–guy next to expensive sports car does goofy dance in 70s clothes     10/14

Febreze — mom cleans son’s smelly shoes and room

Fabreze — man has stinky cooking   1/08

Fabreze–Mom thinks son’s room, chair stinks   6/09

Fabreze–Wife says his chair stinks    5/10

Fabreze–blindfolded people can’t smell stinky Azerbaijan wrestling team     7/12

Febreze–car smells like man fresh out of the shower        1/13

Febreze–son’s room smells like locker room     8/14

Febreze–husband makes kitchen smell like fish     8/14

Febreze–guy is “nose-blind” to his fish meal, wife annoyed      10/14

Febreze–guy cooks fish, house smells like fishing boat      11/14

FedEx — Scott is used to being busier

FedEx–bald guy with “full head of hair”

FedEx– guy won’t shave, birds in huge beard

FedEx–guy is nicknamed “Dan Fool”

FedEX–in company printing on backs of paper, guy has to eat executive compensation list      11/11

FedEx–dad puts daughter on lap of Santa look-a-like customer, “don’t tell mom”       11/12

FedEx–guy doesn’t have gift, throws pens into shipping box       11/12

FedEx–husband steals kids school supplies and toilet paper, shamed by wife     1/13

FedEx–woman corrects plan, guy who is exec for the day can’t get into office      1/13

FedEx–woman is praised for her idea, guy who types with all caps also yells      3/13

FedEx–Santa fills box with coal for naughty guy     11/13

***FedEx–Nana sends cozies for everything      11/13

FedEx–boss gives good news in person, bad news in emails     9/14

FedEx–guy “projects success” in his garage, wife angry       9/14

Fiat–(superbowl) sexy woman teases, slaps guy     2/12

FiberOne–guy brags he eats what he wants, but is scared when wife is behind him   2/09

Fiber One bar–obnoxious guy disguises to keep getting free samples   6/09

***Fiber One–women look stupid, read her mind      1/11

Fiber One–but her wish for Lorenzo came true    3/11

Fiber One–parents fool son into eating fiber cereal   6/11

Fiber One–wife fools obnoxious husband into eating fiber bar     8/11

Fiber One–he whines, she asks him “Are you done, sweety?”      3/12

Fidelity — wife complains husband can’t get dog to roll over

Fidelity– husband wants car, wife wants Fidelity (no way he will win) 7/07

Fidelity– husband explains investing strategy, wife is very snide, condescending  8/07

Fidelity–husband wants to “kick back”, wife wants to clean house.  11/07

Fidelity–husband forgets discussing Paris, but they will go to Paris   1/08

Fidelity–husband’s goal is to find best burger, wife rolls eyes    12/09

Fidelity–mom with 2 rowdy boys    12/09

Fidelity–woman corrects clueless guy about following green line through Grand Central      1/12

Fidelity–guy nearly walks in front of bus, asks wife if insured        10/12

Firestone–she runs over his entertainment box after he has a nap       4/14

Firestone–driver goes off-road to wake passengers      11/14

FloTV (Superbowl)–girlfriend removes mans spine    2/10

Ford Focus–friend finds guy has Michael Bolton on car stereo.  11/7

Ford Cares–selling scarves to help fight breast cancer      10/13

Ford–kid’s coach is loud but not clear        11/13

Ford–confident guy dangerously teases lions with red meat      9/14

Ford Cares–breast cancer      10/14

Foster Farms–out of state chickens are bad flyers, freeze off their giblets      8/14

Fram–guy figure on wedding cake falls over as “relationships fail”     5/12

French’s Spicy Brown–hot dogs, he gets sand in crevices, she looks at he-man French’s bottle  4/08

Frontier–man misses question on quiz show, gets hit with green slime        2/14

Fructis–throw in the towel on a guy

FruitOfTheLoom–car crew doesn’t have to recalibrate their nuts and bolts    10/13

***Gain–maid caught in hotel bed   4/08

Gain–guy does ugly tango     11/10

Gain–airline counter guy is wearing woman’s sweater      3/13

Gain–she points out the he is using the dog’s towel      8/14

GasX–man in job interview by woman, bad gas puns, male secretary  4/08

GasX–guy has gas at dinner table    4/10

GasX–2 guys in political debate, bad gas puns    2/12

GasX–antacid bottle has gas, offends woman      4/13

Gavalia–women look Johann up and down         2/12

Gazelle–dad sells daughter’s phone to get money for sunglasses     2/14

GE–ancient discus thrower knocks down Parthenon   8/08

GE–anethesia for a guy is a club  2/10

GE–guy in medical amphitheater wants his pants back    2/10

GE–guy does ungraceful landing in Aculpulco dive    12/10

GE–husband pretends to be dramatic announcer, wife scolds        1/12

GE–girl credits “my mom” with much great and friendly technology        2/14

GE–guy spills spice bottle into skillet        5/14

Gerbers — finishes 2nd behind mothers in baby care  (where do fathers rate?)

Geico — even a cavemen can do it, why no cavewomen?   (3)

Geico–“naturalist” following gecko ends up in dumpster being emptied  5/08

Geico–“naturalist” following gecko ends up on top of RV moving away   6/08

Geico–woman rolls eyes at guy who protects jetski   8/08

Geico–boss falls back on gecko   8/09

Geico–boss gives gecko little suit    8/09

Geico–Billy Jean King disgusted by whiny caveman beaten in tennis match by little girl     6/10

Geico–drill-sargeant therapist shames guy    7/10

Geico–Abe Lincoln too honest about wife’s dress     7/10

Geico–two guys live under rocks    2/11

Geico–male pig wees all the way home in backseat, female driver irritated

Geico–guy “samples” grapes, wife thinks it is wrong    5/11

Geico–chicken hawk clubs Foghorn Leghorn     5/11

Geico–incompetent child-care robots are male    7/11

Geico–3 guys do stupid things with smartphones, woman glares at them     6/11

Geico–caveman cheerleader on bottom of pyramid     10/11

Geico–male pig wees down zip line     12/11

Geico–teen girls follow guy and criticize his food with “Oooh”, “Seriously?” “So gross”       1/12

Geico–wheeing pig runs down hill on luge, other guy runs into hay bales      2/12

Geico–guy sings badly to get his dating profile out, women glare     2/12

Geico–Wiley Coyote crushed by safe        10/12

Geico–pig is clueless at lover’s lane      1/13

Geico–pig steals a guy’s girlfriend because he has bad insurance     5/13

Geico–male owl not that wise, she-owl disgusted     7/13

Geico–goofy camel and hump day     7/13

Geico–Old McDonald can’t spell     7/13

Geico–ancient Egyptians make mistake on pyramids     10/13

Geico–goofy falling tree is male      10/13

Geico–goofy pig at football game is “Pig in a Blanket” on jumbotron    11/13

Geico–DMV lady doesn’t care that pig’s eyes were closed in picture      1/14

Geico–boy is fooled by oldest trick in the book       1/14

Geico–Pinocchio is a bad motivational speaker       2/14

Geico–car salesman “weeeeees” pig who is not amused      3/14

Geico–snail boss slowly fires Todd       3/14

Geico–bride takes car instead of groom     4/14

Geico–cowboy gets hurt by words       7/14

Geico–Kenny Rogers singing during poker game is irritating       7/14

Geico–Ickey Woods does shuffle at meat counter       9/14

Geico–literal Genie gives guy a million bucks (deer)        11/14

Geico–competitors in bunk beds and one has a ventriliquist dummy      11/14

The General–woman wants insurance, but her husband has a bad driving record     1/14

The General–woman upset with husband who has “flaws,” after accident with truck     8/14

Gildan–guy removes favorite underwear on roller coaster     6/13  & 11/14

Glad–piano movers don’t catch falling piano in glad bag

***Glad–two sons school mom on trash bags      5/11

Glucerna–unbalanced husband falls down    4/11

GMC–wife doesn’t believe his excuses for being late to show     3/13

GMC–guy gets black eye while shopping early on Black Friday      11/13

GoDaddy–guy trips over equipment on set while looking at beautiful women    2/11

GoDaddy–(superbowl) sexy women make teen boys dreams come true     2/11

GoDaddy–guy cries on toilet in bathroom     10/14

Golfsmith–guy has baby on his chest while at driving range       4/14

Glade–husband can’t figure out motion sensor dispenser, wife shows him  7/09

Graduates–big boys don’t pull down their pants in public  5/08

Grammy’s–guy in gym with headphones is very bad singer     12/13

Great Clips–golfer eaten by large venus flytrap     1/13

Great Clips–rock singer in empty stadium       1/13

Great Clips–screaming rock star has no audience    1/14

Greenies–boy goes bonkers over a toothbrush, like a dog       5/14

H&M–(superbowl) women complain about sexy ads, no complaint about Beckham in his underwear       2/12

Hallmark–sympathetic sappy Mother’s day ad, then Father’s day card makes fun of dad–hammer time.   6/08

Hallmark–girls at school cafeteria compare wonderful Valentines from Moms   2/09

Hall’s — irritating man coughing in Japanese restaurant  10/07

Hall’s–window washer shamed into working harder, 2 women glare at him     1/11

Hall’s–guy in eskimo coat blows away another guys papers      12/13

halos–dad grabs one of son’s oranges who shames him, dad then breaks bed      2/14

Hamburger Helper–kids bound down stairs, dad is clumsy      3/12

Hampton Inn–guy warms waffle with an iron       10/11

Hanes–“stupid” guy dips son to make socks, mom fixes    8/09

Hanes–Michael Jordan destroys annoying talking clothes tag       5/12

Hanes–annoying tag bothers guy grilling, Jordan throws it in grill       7/12

Hanes–guy wears kittens as a sweater      9/12

Hanes–Michael Jordan throws irritating tag into shredder     3/14

Hanes–Michael Jordan at movie throws irritating tag into drink     3/14

Hasbro Pictionary–guy comes out of shower into party   12/10

***Healthy Choice–woman going to speed-dating, too much info    10/08

Healthy Choice–man steals woman’s lunch from fridge     3/11

Herbal Essences–biker with silky hair  (Lovely hair is female, male hair is funny)  9/7

Why do most shampoos advertise only to women?  The only exceptions — dandruff shampoos?

Hertz–female “Gas” beats guy at strip poker    6/11

Hillshire–boys have jumprope contest for sandwich, girls tie up boys & get sandwich     1/11

Holiday Inn–lecturer takes disruptive guy’s phone, other guy calls it    9/08

Home Depot–wife asks hubby not to go overboard 7/07

Home Depot–mother & daughter unhappy about unhandy dad  9/07

Home Depot–mom pays daughter to trick dad into remodeling kitchen

Home Depot–man is overly excited about Santa leaving table saw on roof, wife scowls at him   12/07

Home Depot–man wearing headphones ignores wife until she wants to go to HD     1/08

Home Depot–she gives him choice of A or B, he says B, she glares, he changes to A      8/13

Honda Accord — bologna on pizza is a “guy thing”

Honda Civic — woman contemptuously calls guy “predictable”

Honda Civic–woman keeps keys of “peppy” car away from hubby    1/08

Honda Civic–man litters    5/08

Honda Pilot–old ugly nudists in downed air balloon, driver can see behind without turning to nudists  5/08

Honda Pilot–guy imbeds himself in cement  6/08

***Honda CRV–father & son deliver turkeys to charity where man calls dad a “good man”   12/08

***Honda—woman cuts generator cord     9/10

Honda–guy hanging onto helium balloons floats away at dealership    4/10

Honda–guys rip shirts putting on big buttons     3/11

Honda CRV–(superbowl) Ferris Bueller takeoff, guy lies, calls in sick from work      2/12

Honda–“Girls just want to have fun” song         9/12

Honda–son ruins dad shirt, breaks window, mom is disgusted by dad’s behavior     12/12

Honda–sleazy car salesman, must pay extra for what is standard in Honda

Honda–sleazy car salesman, dog growls at his bad deals       3/13

***Honda–roommate eats in her car and steals her sweater      12/12

Honda–guy makes fun of other’s argyle sweater      4/13

Honda Pilot–wife is the smart one       4/13

Honda Odyssey–while husband is inattentive, wife stops son from getting into mischief     6/13

Honda– guy has embarrassing wrench over his head    10/13

Honda Accord–daughter has heart broken by love of life      2/14

Honda–wife upset with husband who must check on new mower in middle of night     5/14

Honda Fit–guy has mustard in his beard          6/14

Honda Fit–two goofy centaurs can fit in car     9/14

Hoover–house compared to circus, sons are clowns, husband is clumsy juggler      4/13

Hoover–young son spills red drink on white carpet     11/13

Hornitos–guys ask for any Tequila, get any haircut and any tattoos

***Hotels.com–he reserves room while parachuting in, she is impressed     12/11

Hotels.com–cartoon dad picks bad hotel, he is chased by bear, mom rescues family      6/13

Hotels.com–Captain Obvious      3/14

Hotels.com–Captain Obvious at bar thinks a woman wants him       3/14

Hotels.com–guy tries to splash another, loses trunks      4/14

Hot Pockets — Eddie’s friends impose on his mom for food

Hot Pockets — guy hanging out of hospital gown    4/10

HRBlock–2 guys discuss writing off lederhosen  1/08

HRBlock–wife shames hubby for using software, tell box “I’m stuck”  1/08

HRBlock–guy saving money has no hot dog buns or cups, squirts catsup in mouth   1/08

HRBlock–guy makes money suit with refund    1/08

HRBlock–cartoon teenage boy is bad with money      9/14

Huggies Lift Lock–baby pees at dad like a hose    7/11

Hyundai — parrot mimics guy

Hyundai — wife scoffs at guy spraying auto wipers  2/08

Hyundai–guy opens car door, spills money  7/08

Hyundai–(superbowl) cheetah chases screaming guy      2/12

Hyundai–(superbowl) guy gets CPR by racing and stopping car     2/12

Hyundai–every family has them—crazy uncle, smart sister       3/12

Hyundai–wife says he doesn’t know anything       5/12

Hyundai–she fakes love of ugly Christmas hat     12/12

Hyundai–she fakes love of ugly Christmas sweater      12/12

Hyundai–dads bad behavior leads to “don’t tell mom”     8/13

Hyundai–dad keeps saving accident-prone son, then car stops automatically     2/14

Hyundai–Johnny Galecki rejected several times by woman in similar car      2/14

Hyundai–irritating back seat driver        9/14

IBM–woman wins at buzzword bingo during bosses speech  12/07

IceBreakers–security tackles guy after Carmen Electra says “Whoa”    5/08

iComfort–wife not happy about husband getting an alpaca farm      5/14

iComfort–husband who is subject of experiments, turns various colors       5/14

IHOP—mean bikers shamed for ordering fruity-tooty meal       8/10

Ikea–wife shames his performance on last anniversary   3/10

Ikea–wife is not impressed with his turnip rose     10/11

Ikea–makes fun of husband’s dream bedroom        7/12

Ikea–Leo is in timeout, but is still destructive      9/12

Ikea–wife rolls eyes while he uses shoe as measuring device      11/13

Infiniti–cocky BMW driver has roof full of snow fall on his car     11/11

Infiniti–small boy being walked by his father is almost hit by guy backing up SUV    4/12

Infiniti–old man in speedo walks by couple in car on cruise ship         7/12

Infiniti–car stops automatically when male driver is distracted        6/14

Intel–woman shames guy for his bad handshake with robot   10/9

Intel–nerdy guys can’t decide how to cut cake   10/9

Intel–insensitive guy in cafeteria insults robot Jeffery  2/10

Intel–men are medieval, woman with ultrabook brings them to present        8/12

Intel–man intentionally spills coffee on laptop so he can get new one     11/13

Intl Delight Coffee–obnoxious male barista      11/10

Intl Delight Coffee–man acts like a child for Cinnebon     11/11

Infinity–daughter tells dad that mom says he is in doghouse, he forgot anniversary     3/12

Invesco–guys bad IRA crashes through roof      12/11

Invesco–man wants “kicking-myself shoes” for bad decisions       3/14

iRobot (Roomba) — kids as pigs and husband as jackass   1/08

Jack in the Box–drunk guys wake up to find they ate keys and phone     10/11

Jack in the Box–wife scolds Jack for whining about visiting his mother-in-law    10/11

Jack in the Box–(superbowl) man marries bacon        2/12

Jack in the Box–roommate steals guy’s laundry money, while “evil” Jack shaves guy’s eyebrows      5/12

Jack in the Box–smart phone with male voice gets everything wrong      9/12

Jack in the Box–Jack’s Philly male cousins are puppets, wife isn’t       10/12

Jack in the Box–man hit with racquetball turns into strutting chicken     12/12

Jack in the Box–Jack foils evil guy with weiner dog lasers     1/13

Jack in the Box–drunk guys eat cellphone and keys, again     6/13

***Jack in the Box–stupid woman thinks Jack’s watch is a clock bracelet      12/13

Jack in the Box–he sells car to get face tattoo, she cries       12/13

Jack in the Box–guy believes in the breakfast fairie      5/14

JackLinks Jerky–men mess with sasquatch, are hurt    5/08

JackLinks Jerky–guy splashes Sasquatch, who skips guy across water      10/11

JackLinks Jerky–guy has growling wolf in stomach        8/14

***JackLinks Jerky–woman has growling eagle in stomach       8/14

Jared–female voiced navigation system locks guy in car until she is shown necklace   11/08

Jared–female voiced navigation system locks guy in car and drives him to store      11/11

Jared–big football player cries over proposal on big screen        2/12

Jared–friends convince stupid guy to give her jewelry, not a jersey    11/13

Jared–Le Vian ad for women only      11/13

JBL–he has clumsy wires on headset, she doesn’t     11/14

Jello–dad steals daughter’s pudding, has pudding face    5/11

Jello–boy steals jello at school, has pudding face      5/11

Jello–2 boys sent to principals office     7/11

Jello–dad scares kids with his “choco beast”       2/12

Jello–dad complains about losing hair      9/13

any Jeweler–almost all show men paying for love or sex  (every kiss begins with Kay)

Jimmy Dean — cloud only eats cold wet cereal  10/07

Jimmy Dean–daughter tells dad (The Sun) that “mom doesn’t make it like that”   11/07

Jimmy Dean–hail is crabby guy, pretty rainbow is woman  3/08

Jimmy Dean–evil crab disrupting student is male     2/11

Jimmy Dean–“dimwit” in spelling bee is male     3/11

Jimmy Johns–new prisoner calms potential rapists with quick delivery    2/11

John Hancock–several men can’t sleep because of scary news, wives calm them down     3/12

John Hancock–several men can’t sleep because of scary news, wives assure “sky is not falling”     11/12

Johnson’s–mom is good, “I mean great”     11/13

Johnsonville–guy in daze, wife hits him in head with tongs    5/08

Johnsonville–wife is not proud of husband whose phone goes off during recital      10/13

Juicy Fruit–3 guys in life raft do embarrassing dance      3/12

JuicyJuice–mothering is 100% giving   5/08

Just For Men–2 daughters fix dad for dating with hair dye    2/11

Just Go For It movie–Adam Sandler hit in groin in 2 different ads    2/11

K9 Advantage–3 big guys squeeze into back seat while dog runs shotgun      4/14

Kay–penquin gets love by giving her a Bulova watch     11/14

Kay–“she actually said yes to me”       11/14

Kayak–morons make it to the top in business      5/11

Kayak–guy operating several dummies shakes pop can and sprays another guy   12/11

Kayak–shopper thinks rice flour is cocaine     12/11

Kayak–head of Kayak refuses to let guy have access who bullied him as a boy      1/12

Kayak–brain surgeon manipulates guy’s brain to search the web for him         2/12

Kayak–son hogs elderly mothers stairlift while she struggles to climb stairs      1/14

Kayak–guy loses his fingers while typing        2/14

Kayak–professor shaves back of head to look like face      4/14

Kayak–upset guy breaks lamp       8/14

***Kayak–woman’s hair is out of style       9/14

Kay Jewelers–many ads, all showing men showing love with gifts.  12/07

Kelloggs Mini-Wheats–guy mini-wheats pretend to be in sauna (cereal bowl), one has 8-layers showing.    10/10

Kelloggs Mini-Wheats–male mini-wheats sexually swoon over fruit     3/11

Kelloggs Raisan Bran Crunch — “ello ello” British greeting

Kelloggs Raisan Bran Crunch — guys make fun of buddy’s lameness

Kelloggs Raisan Bran Crunch — guy has flap in his PJs  10/07

Kelloggs Raisan Bran Crunch — road trip with 99 boxes of Raisan Bran Crunch   3/08

Kelloggs Raisan Bran Crunch — guys on factory tour, kid asks “what grade are you in?”  4/08

Kelloggs Raisan Bran Crunch–stupid tag lines  7/08

Kelloggs Raisan Bran Extra–guys waiting outside for store to open, its a 24 hour store   9/09

Ketel One Vodka–3 guys in rain wait for cab, give it to 2 women   5/09

Kerasol–female artist notes nude male model has nail fungus     5/13

***Keystone beer–klutzy guy opens door and bangs pretty woman 12/07 (This could go both ways)

Keystone–guy sees old girlfriend, says he has matured, then “I Like Big Butts” ringtone plays   12/08

KFC–crispy “mans” chicken is eaten by girl, man is shamed  8/07

KFC — man with arm up vending machine, laughed at by man and woman  9/07

KFC–woman at work eats lunch with knife, men freak out

KFC–son’s friend calls his mom “Nancy” instead of “Mrs Barber”.  He is corrected   4/08

KFC–two guys in retro 70s car, clothes, hair    3/12

KFC–mom lets grandad and son wrestle over food       5/12

KFC–adult Jerry lives in parent’s basement playing video games      7/12

KFC–dad eats sons tenders during game of hide-and-seek      9/12

KFC–dad eats daughters tenders when he claims her boyfriend is calling      3/13

KFC–daughter tells dad he ate the bones     4/13

KFC–he offers her hot bites, she slaps him      7/13

KFC–not smart to buy son a drum set     9/13

KFC–dad falls twice on rope ladder      7/14

KGB (Superbowl)–Sumo wrestler hammers guy     2/10

Kia–among several shots of people pulling up to wrong side of gas pump, woman rolls eyes at guy   1/08

Kindle–woman in bikini smugly shames guy who can’t read his electronic book in bright light     9/10

***Kindle–ditzy blond is “happy pants”    11/11

Kindle–woman shames guy who’s notepad costs more than her 3     2/12

Klondike bar–husband keeps looking at wife when pretty woman walks by, give him a Klondike bar   5/08

Klondike bar–husband listens to wife and adds to conversation, give him a Klondike bar   5/08

Klondike bar–guy gets wedgie so he can have Klondike bar     8/10

Klondike bar–guy listens to wife for 5 seconds for bar      5/11

Klondike bar–guy does embarrassing 5-second dance circle       5/12

Klondike bar–wife doesn’t think much of his idea of how candy/ice cream bar is made        5/14

KMart–husband insults wife’s casserole    3/10

KMart–husband loses fight with lawn chair      3/13

KMart–several guys in colorful boxers and wide stance play Jingle Bells while shaking hips      12/13

KMart–man on stillts falls while removing Christmas lights     1/14

Komen–“3 days of pure joy”        1/13

Konica–guy carried on chair hits head on EXIT sign     2/12

Kraft Mac&Cheese–“Dad really screwed this up”      4/11

Kraft Mac&Cheese–dad steals daughters mac&cheese, she sells golf clubs and watch at pawn shop     5/11

Kraft Mac&Cheese–son blackmails dad to watch PG movie      9/12

Kraft Mac&Cheese–grandpa uses boys fork to steal mac & cheese during grace       3/14

***Kraft Mac&Cheese–babysitter who ate his mac & cheese won’t be back       5/14

KY — “yours” and “mine” , she talks for both    5/08

KY–he’s “the man”, but she says it’s KY     1/10

KY–guy can’t be a 10 every time      8/10

LaQuinta–man “nails” a nail on conference table     10/11

LaQuinta–guy has leg up on his competition      6/12

LaQuinta–Amy  must handle 800 lb gorilla Gary      2/14

Las Vegas–shin-wacking competition   5/09

Las Vegas–guy only gets “certificate” for attendance at work     9/12

Las Vegas–man destroys water cooler     11/14

Laughing Cow–he mindlessly eats bowl of chips, she snacks smartly      8/14

Lays–guy 8 inches tall upset about small chip bag,  “cut you short”   5/08

Lays–girl on train hypnotizes man with potato chip and slams his head into window      7/14

LendingTree — woman banker goes with LendingTree instead of own bank  10/07

LendingTree–guy looks for mortgage in his underwear with puppet, “awkward”     6/13

Levi Dockers (Superbowl)– guys without pants    2/10

Lexus–rude guy pelted with a thousand snowballs      12/11

Liberty Mutual–mostly men cause destruction, guy runs into screen door, guy steps thru ceiling, bike on car into garage   9/12

Liberty Mutual–mostly men destroy cars–AC drops from apartment, in pond, etc      10/12

Liberty Mutual–guys destroy cars with basketball, karate, football        3/13

LG–wife makes fun of his “cat skating” sweater    11/11

LG–wife disgusted with son and husband who open fridge and stare       5/14

Lifelock–ID theft criminal opens a credit card account at store    10/11

Lifelock–man in cab steals info from left-behind laptop      7/13

Lifelock–identity thief Bill steals Mary’s money     1/14

***Lifelock–Kari steals Jill’s Identity       4/14

Lime Away— he left seat up     11/10

Lincoln–guy drives away from woman with messy dog     5/13

Lincoln–guy locks car door on messy golf partner     6/13

Lipton–grouch insults Miss Piggy’s flavorless drink     9/14

Listerine–moms know mouths are different, and dad’s has bad breath    10/14

Little Caesars– “Oh, she told you!”     10/13

Little Caesars–two guys disappear into big bean bag chairs      1/14

Little Caesars–he has trouble with password           5/14

Little Caesars–man’s ponytail wags with dog’s tail when pizza arrives     6/14

Little Debbie–mom and daughter laugh that he can’t have snack until he cleans garage and attic   9/13

LivingSocial.com—embarrassing guy in drag    2/11

Long John Silvers — guys exchange burgers

Long John Silvers — guy jumps off cruise ship

Lorax movie–(superbowl) cartoon figure hits many men but scolded when about to hit a woman      2/12

Lotrimin—groom walks down the aisle barefoot      5/12

Lowes–clueless guy asks female clerk to pretend to be his wife for Christmas gift.  12/07

Lowes–dad tells son what a hard-bargainer he is, when Lowes does for everyone   4/08

Lowes–man is a bear till can get outside in spring   4/08

Lowes–wife and daughter give hubby evil eye when he thinks they are done remodeling   5/08

Lowes–wife says “nobody’s going to have a better price” but hubby looks anyway, embarrassed   5/08

Lowes–girl paints room “rocker girl” purple    4/10

Lowes–guy installs shower tile, they all fall       3/14

Lowes–he gets way too excited about mowers, wife belittles him     4/14

Lowes–mom calls home, sees everything in order, but then camera shows kitchen is a disaster except for one spot     5/14

Lowes–she moves dryer with one finger by pointing to man to move it        9/14

Lowes–dad finally stops drafts coming into house     10/14

Lucky Charms–wife upset that he eats all of the marshmallows       6/14

Luna bars — their Clif bars are for everyone, but Luna bars are only for women?  Why? Pander.

Lysol Wipes–mother traps 2 dirty sons in net

Lysol Wipes–germy son spreads germs to sister

Lysol Toilet–cleaner kills ugly cartoon germs left by son.  2/08

Lysol Wipes–Dad and kids make mess in kitchen   8/08

Lysol–Dad makes mess in kitchen, son makes mess in tub    5/09

Mac & Cheese–dad really blows it by inviting business partner for dinner without notifying wife      2/12

Macy’s–Martha Stewart checks out guy’s butt   4/08

Macy’s–Martha Stewart fixes frat  03/10

Macy’s–wear red for women     1/11

Macy’s–guy is speechless in front of beautiful model, female friend mocks him     3/13

Macy’s–Justin Bieber is on naughty list     11/13

Macy’s–wife approves his gift from distance with binoculars      12/13

M & Ms–cartoon character in fridge has small m due to shrinkage   5/08

M&Ms–sexy green female has guy M&Ms speechless and mouth dropping   12/08

M&Ms–the awfulness of male pretzel going into male M&M     10/10

M&Ms–guy opens cupboard looks for snack, gets everything thrown at him   11/10

M&Ms–characters are afraid of guy with hungry eyes     7/11

M&Ms–(superbowl) guys are called fools for thinking brown M&M showed up naked, guy M&M takes off shell, women glare     2/12

M&Ms–female M&M warned about chocolate-eating woman, M&M hooks her up with male M&M who is attacked in car      1/13

M&Ms–Russian says he sprinkle M&M on ice cream, M&M clueless       2/14

Mass Mutual–woman steps back just before bus splashes guys    10/9

Mastercard–Mr Bill gets smashed  6/08

Mastercard–child helps “father become a better man”      3/09

Mastercard–wife opens jar that he can’t     1/10

Mastercard–guy falls down cliff     4/10

Mazda — scout thinks he can identify sports car coming, but its an SUV  1/08

McCormicks–dad can’t wait for Thanksgiving dinner, sneaks nibbles       11/13

McDonald’s — 2 guys competing for best deal, beaten by female coworker with $1 hamburger.  10/07

McDonald’s–woman breaks up with guy in car, calls him back to get her breakfast    12/07

McDonald’s–2 girls (strangers) dis guys over mocha   11/08

McDonald’s–couple fights over who gives son meal, dad wins, but son thanks mom     2/10

McDonald’s–he can’t paint because of rain, she suggests shopping instead, “simple joy of being smart”     1/11

McDonald’s–she asks about guy who says “Sundays are just for football”, he says “He’s a jerk”,  “simple joy of being smart”    1/11

McDonald’s–“my me-time is when he doesn’t get the hint”        6/11

***McDonald’s–dad grabs mom’s fries who smacks him while telling daughter to share     6/11

McDonald’s–man and woman unison talk until she wins when he says she is pretty     8/11

McDonald’s–he will miss rib sandwich, she says she married a 14-year-old      10/11

McDonald’s–he eats her rib sandwich, she glares      10/11

McDonald’s–he has trouble coming up with pet names      11/11

McDonald’s–guy lies about living at home with mom      1/12

McDonald’s–he tries to apologize with chocolate and caramel drink     2/12

McDonald’s–he is not listening to her at dinner table       3/12

McDonald’s–she is very suspicious, he has to give her his mint shake     3/12

McDonald’s–two women beat the guys at billiards      7/12

McDonald’s–male egg mcmuffin is rejected by female oatmeal       7/12

McDonald’s–“she’s beautiful, smart and sensible”         9/13

McDonald’s–“any woman can be made better” with a frape         2/14

McDonald’s–Johnny prints over and over he is a dull boy when he isn’t offered coffee      6/14

McDonald’s–4 guys form soccer wall to protect woman from splash at bus stop     6/14

McDonald’s — has a long history of insulting commercials

McGladrey–caddy wants Sunday off        4/14

MegaMillions–guy cuts himself with saw     2/11

Meineke–woman interrupts man’s choice of plans     2/09

Meineke–man’s toupe comes off while give choice of plans from above    3/09

Mentos–spider beats up a guy          1/12

Mercedes–woman in Demolition Derby avoids men trying to crash into her      1/14

Meta–Michael Strahan loses staring contest to daughters    10/14

Metamucil–if women ignored their hair like they ignore their heart  11/7

Method–Charles drops the chicken on the floor        5/14

Method–infant son throws meatball, hits dad in the head      5/14

Met Life–dad falls off ladder, mom and daughter discuss how to protect mom with insurance     4/14

Michelin — safe, fuel efficient, eco-friendly factory with woman and little girl

Microsoft–wife rejects his golf on Sunday presentation    10/11

Microsoft–son turns dad’s boring sales presentation into a dazzler       11/11

Microsoft–kids keep adding to dad’s shopping list online      12/11

Microsoft–guy in middle seat on plane crowded by two big guys     11/13

Microsoft–ad praising several “heroic women”    1/14

Midas–guy’s brakes fail, he drives into Midas shop    4/08

Midas–high five hurts talking hand      10/13

Midas–hand realized he won’t be able to drive car     10/13

Mikes Lemonade–grocery clerk can’t fathom doing something over & over & over …     7/11

Milk–California bull tries to impress cows with French, embarrassed by cow fluent in French  2/08

Milk–milk bottle beats goofy burrito up rope      10/13

Miller Lite–man can’t say “I love you” but can say he’d love another beer       1/10

Miller Lite–woman asks guy: me or dog, me or mother, but guy can’t answer for me or beer     1/10

Miller Lite–woman asks why he loves her, he can’t come up with anything    3/10

Miller Lite–bar maid shames guy with purse    5/10

Miller Lite–woman shames mama’s boy    12/10

Miller Lite–guy wearing sunglasses in bar told to “man up”    12/10

Miller Lite–whole series of “man up” ads during 2011 March Madness, following:

Miller Lite–female bartender makes fun of guy in tight jeans    3/11

Miller Lite–female bartender makes fun of guy wearing bronzer    3/11

Miller Lite–female bartender makes fun of guy using text-speak, other woman shoots him down   3/11

Miller Lite–guy golfer uses women tees     3/11

Miller Lite–guy spends time fixing hair–ugly     3/11

Miller Lite–guy goes backpacking with wheels on “knapsack”    3/11

Miller Lite–3 female lifeguards save guy from unmanly behavior   5/11

Miller Lite–guy doesn’t man up on roller coaster, friends laugh at him      8/11

Miller Lite–guy is clueless about beads during Mardi Gras      1/12

Miller Lite–guy freezes on climbing rock        1/12

Miller Lite–clueless guy uses his Aussie accent to get girl to drive him home, thanks her and walks inside     3/12

Miller 64–female boxer pummels guy in practice     4/12

Miller 64–4 guys lose to 2 women in beach volleyball    5/13

Minute Maid–orange is a monster for pushing bottle off table    2/14

Mirena–she ponders whether to have more kids considering her bad son      3/12

Mitsubishi–guy beats himself up over energy bills     3/12

***Mitsubishi–car brakes automatically when mom is distracted     12/13

Mitsubishi–guy trains cat to turn down thermostat            5/14

Mitsubishi–wife tricks husband by pointing at woman in short shorts so she could turn on A/C       6/14

Motel6–“enough male-bonding for one day”    5/08

Motel6–guy asks another for directions, which doesn’t help, she finds online     4/14

Motorola(Superbowl)–3 men slapped, one falls off ladder   2/10

Motorola–she needs “Hello Handsome” translated to Spanish, turns out it is a dog not a man      12/12

Moto X–obnoxious guy playing Perry’s phone, can’t sing, gets text from Sharon       9/13

Moto X–obnoxious guy playing Alan’s phone gets text for him to pick up ointment for rash      9/13

Moto X–obnoxious guy playing lazy phone misses picture at child’s recital     9/13

Motts–she drinks Motts and is in color, he is in black and white    7/11

Mountain Dew–Jack Hanna is run over by rhino  6/08

Mountain Dew–lightning avoids women, hits guys    8/08

Mr Clean–2 male spray bottles give play by play         2/12

Mr Clean–Mr Clean’s grandmother was remarkably strong      11/14

Mucinex — mucus character is male

Mucinex D–mucus and nasal swelling characters are male, plus wife must give him the product    11/11

Mucinex — he coughs and keeps wife awake     12/12

Mucinex–mucus character asks if he is the yucky       11/14

Mutual of Omaha–domestic violence victim gets out and succeeds     5/11

myFaves–guy thinks trip is with guys, but wife says he better check that or end up in garage.  11/07

NAPA–male know-how can hooked up to battery cables and zapped      11/13

National–golf instructor struck many times, including in groin     11/13

***National–fashion “runway ridiculousness”        1/14

National Highway Traffic Safety Admin–male drivers texting and crashing        11/11

National Highway Traffic Safety Admin–cops arrest guy for drunk driving       1/14

Nationwide–minister criticizes groom for not having enough insurance, female agent saves day   7/08

Nationwide–old woman hits guy in head with purse after fender bender   1/09

Nationwide–man wakes up to all items in house cut in half, he is in underwear       1/13

Nationwide–pretty woman replaces stolen items by 2 male burglars     8/13

Nationwide–mom glares at son in back seat, boy runs out in front of car       7/14

Nature’s Bounty–listening husband forgot the bread    4/11

Navy Credit Union–she saves the day when Campell left the paddles behind     11/13

NBC–(superbowl) eastern European people can’t watch comedies unless guy turns generator by hand      2/12

Neosporin–2 boys cuts unhealed, mom heals daughters cut   6/10

Neosporin–2 boys complain that cuts hurt bad, girl whose mother gave her Neosporin says hurt not so bad     4/12

Nest cam–boy upset that he can’t trash house anymore     11/14

Netflix–woman wants to see hunks skinny-dipping scene     6/11

Netflix–man cries when wife watches shows without him       6/13

***Newcastle–camera focuses on hands of unattractive female brewmaster     3/12

New York Life–daughter having fun on slingshot ride, while dad is scared    11/13

Nexium–male doctor does lousy job with jackhammer       1/12

***Nexium–female doctor does lousy job as violin player        6/12

Nexium–doctor is lousy baseball pitcher, almost hit by hit ball        7/12

Nexium–doctor is lousy baseball pitcher, hits batter with ball, batter chases     12/12

***Nexium–female doctor tries to be radio newscaster         1/13

Nextel–school run by air shipping co., boy in locker and absent boy gets detention   2/09

Nicorette–guy is named Veronica      8/10

Nike–woman runs cross country to meet man who collapses after short distance     4/12

Ninetendo–3 macho gamers are beaten by 2 girls in Asia       3/12

Nissan Altima—tested by a little boy    11/10

Nissan–car honks whenever a guy is about to go too far      7/12

Nissan–man stares at new car, wife thinks he is looking at woman, locks him out of car    7/13

Nissan–male passenger says we’ll be late, female driver drives on train, teases passenger when early     1/14

Nissan–female driver being chased has frightened man in back seat with briefcase      1/14

Nutrisystem–Terry Bradshaw and Jullian debate gender, she always wins     1/13

Nyquil (Dayquil)–she is energetic skier, he sleeps on chairlift     11/12

Nyquil–she falls out of bed when he coughs      11/12

Ocean Spray–girl makes fun of bog worker

Ocean Spray–bog worker imitates Ninja for Ninga fruit

Ocean Spray–dorky bog worker pelted with dodge balls, one to groin    4/08

Ocean Spray–guy washes info off of womans calendar   6/08

Ocean Spray–dorky guy adds sugar to bog    10/09

Ocean Spray–guy turns on lidless blender, gets sprayed    4/10

Ocean Spray–guy knocks fruit into water   5/10

Ocean Spray–dorky guy shakes can and sprays himself on opening     7/11

Ocean Spray–dorky guy’s  taste buds thank him for the lime taste     2/12

Ocean Spray–dorky guy dresses as George Washington, can’t tell the truth about truck      2/12

Ocean Spray–dorky guy swings on rope, falls into water        4/13

Ocean Spray–dummy adds sugar to bog       10/14

Ocean Spray–dummy drops turkey into bog     11/14

O’Charley’s–boyfriend in shower insults her father while he is just outside curtain   11/08

O’Charley’s–dad runs over doll with lawnmower    3/09

O’Charley’s–guy falls down hole     3/09

Odor Eaters–male dog talks about stinky shoes which are man’s work boots   4/08

Odor Eaters–dad’s smelly shoe is kryptonite to son superhero          3/14

Odor Eaters–son pushes dad’s smelly feet out window        3/14

Off Clip-On–man is afraid to be sprayed with bug spray       7/11

Oikos–(superbowl) woman head butts playful John Stamos      2/12

Oikos–yogurt turns dorks into John Stamos      7/12

Oikos–one bite turns dorky men into John Stamos for 5 seconds      12/12

Oikos–airline passenger kisses John Stamos and steals his yogurt     1/13

Oikos–everyone thinks that her “doing better” means a better guy         4/13

Oikos–two women compare perfect man and perfect snack      9/14

Old Dominion Movers–guy side-swipes many cars     4/14

Old Navy–sexy girls in bowling alley cause guy to throw ball across lanes     8/11

***Old Navy–Amy Poehler goes crazy over Pixie Pants       3/14

***Old Navy–weird restaurant hostess       11/14

Old Spice–guy’s brain blows up     3/12

Old Spice–footballer takes a 40 min shower, misses second half     10/13

***Old Spice–woman is attracted to robot wearing cologne       8/14

Olive Garden—guy meets her friends, which is practice to meet her parents     10/10

Olive Garden–“girls night out”    1/11

One-A-Day–adult man takes gummy vitamins      11/11

One-A-Day–donations to food bank with purchase of women’s vitamins     6/13

ooma–phone asks guy if he wants massage, but doesn’t have hands     5/14

***Orange Juice–guy has clingy girlfriend after one date       1/11

Orbit—guy gets dirty mouth playing spin the bottle with a goat      6/11

Orbit–foul smelling food in elevator is always obnoxious male       5/12

Orbit–foul-smelling food on plane is always obnoxious male        9/13

Orbit–Sarah Silverman breaks up with smelly coffee cup       3/14

Orbitz–old woman would turn pool boy into pool man       5/12

***Orkin — woman burns popcorn

Orkin–male bug tries to get in house by delivering pizza    3/09

Orkin–male bug tries to get in house by delivering couch    6/10

Orkin–2 male rats take over house while family on vacation      11/11

Ortho–wife shames husband for killing grass as well as weeds    3/09

Ortho–husband does not like drama      9/10

Oscar Mayer–man tries to disguise that he ate half her sandwich    1/10

Oscar Mayer–wife says “no” several times to husband’s stupidity, “yes” to hot dogs     4/12

Oscar Mayer–man says “no” when asked about his failures, “yes” to hot dogs       6/12

Oscar Mayer–man ruins tailgating, knocks over table with car, wife uses fire extinguisher on his food     1/13

Oscar Mayer–dad fails miserably to talk slang to son and friends       1/13

Oscar Mayer–wife criticizes his pulled pork       1/13

Oscar Mayer–guy tries to fool friends that he has had pulled pork in smoker for 5 hours     1/13

Oscar Mayer–grandpa is too transparent—rude       4/13

Oscar Mayer–mom says “no” to son’s bad behavior in store     8/13

Oscar Mayer–dad is embarrassingly bad at speaking “cool” with kids    8/13

Oust–woman has 3 problem odors- dog,?, husband   12/08

Outback–golfers hurry thru course, shoot past women  6/08

Outlook.com–guy is scroogled, eats too much pie and squashes chair, has smug wife      3/13

Overstock.com–John’s stuff is put in the basement       9/14

Pace–guy who gets salsa from NYC has a fuffy coffee drink     10/13

Pace–NY city cowboy has 3 story tent, uses the clapper      1/14

Pam–guy forgets anniversary   12/09

Pam–dad (a muffin) can’t meet daughters boyfriend because he looks so bad, didn’t use Pam   11/11

Papa Johns–Peyton Manning takes ref job and get coin toss call wrong          1/12

Papa Johns–owner does awful moonwalk      1/14

Papa Murphys–dad is totally incompent at grilling burgers     3/12

Papermate–she considers stealing nice pen, but guy hanging in net says it is a trap       12/11

Pearle Vision—he can’t do “pleasantly surprised”     6/11

Pearle Vision–guy mistakes phone number for the price

***Pearle Vision–woman tries to pick second pair of glasses out of guy’s lunch bag       2/12

Pearle Vision–he is now Mr Responsible now that the casino dropped the charges     5/12

PediaCare–counted on by moms and pediatricians        1/13

Pella Windows–sleazy guy salesman, nice Pella saleswoman  12/09

Penney’s–girl spins boy until he collapses       2/12

Penney’s–he burns BBQ, she is disgusted       6/12

Penney’s–singers tell Robert he waited too long for perfect gift       12/13

Pepsi–Justin Timberlake sucked across town, groin into mailbox, hit in head   5/08

Pepsi Max–man thrown thru cafe window    9/10

Pepsi Max–guys can handle injuries but not diet soda    2/09

Pepsi Max–wife kicks guy, smashes his face in pie, puts soap in his mouth, throws can at him (hits woman)    2/11

Pepsi Max–cooler that shoots cans hits guy in groin and head    2/11

Pepsi–(superbowl) woman sends Elton John to the dungeon     2/12

Pepsi Max–(superbowl) Coke driver wins Pepsi supply      2/12

Pepsi–Sofia Vergara appears to flirt with guy, but really wants a Pepsi     1/13

Pepsi–by drinking pepsi, she dissolves innertube and dumps guy into water       5/14

PeptoBismol–husband Rex got into dog treats   9/08

PeptoBismol–wife calls help line cuz husband has had too much cherry   1/09

Petco–Cooper the dog fills cart with treats, he is not a “good boy”    10/14

Petsmart — Mr Barky Van Schnauzer

Phillips Colon Health—wife volunteers man for gas reducer  on airplane     1/12

***Pine Sol–woman in snuggler suit cleans floor     12/13

Pine Sol–toddler son throws banana behind fridge       7/14

Pistachio–ex Soprano smashes nut with guy’s head  9/09

Pistachio—dwarf gets ball in head to break shell    12/10

Pistachio–Mr Bill’s hand is smashed by hammer      4/12

Pistachio–Dennis Rodman is nuts      9/13

Pistachio–eagle swallows parrot and repeats “pistachio”    10/14

Pistachio–eagle is high and falls off railing     10/14

Pistachio–Colbert French-kisses freedom, eagle moves away      11/14

Pizza Hut — father doesn’t tell family “pizza’s here” while eating toppings, wife scorns him. Later shows wife eating toppings but no scorn.

Pizza Hut–mom and kids afraid when dad makes dinner. 9/07

Pizza Hut–she finally doesn’t have to settle, he thinks she’s talking about him      2/10

Planet Fitness–guy bragging about his abs is kicked out of gym    12/12

Planters–guys starving on boat, one sees other as Planters mascot, attacks him     3/10

Planters–petty guy getting mani and petticure        5/14

Pop Tarts–woman pretends to be GPS, steers stupid male tarts into toaster       4/13

Pop Tarts–he tries to jump over several toasters, falls in       2/14

Post Office–woman laughs at man who says scale is 5 lbs high   7/09

Preen–dad makes kids pull weeds      4/14

***Prego–woman questions prior decision (80s outfit)      10/11

***Prego–woman gets monkey on her back while zip-lining     10/13

Preparation H — man on bike on bumpy road in pain, daughter is disgusted with him  11/07

Preparation H — woman gets on bike seat with barbed wire, but gets nice ride     12/10

Prevacid–guy is shamed for having to leave comedy show    12/09

Pria bar — this is PowerBar’s bar for women (like Luna) for no good reason other than pandering

Priceline–Shatner falls off bridge in bus, explodes          1/12

Priceline–wife rolls eyes at husband’s complaint that Shatner grabbed his arm too hard    2/12

Priceline–girls weekend in Vegas     8/13

Priceline–Shatner pulls daughter’s boyfriend out window of skyscraper     1/14

Priceline–Russian guy has fur on his chest on the beach      4/14

Prilosec — really offensive guy bothers woman at office 7/07

Prilosec–jerk interupts guys trying to watch game on TV   12/07

Pringles–guy double dips into imaginary dip, woman glares       3/14

Proctor&Gamble–proud sponsors of moms    2/10

Proctor&Gamble–proud sponsors of moms    8/12   (during Olympics)

Progressive–woman uses online voodoo doll to snip boyfriend’s groin

Progressive — pole came out of nowhere to hit musician in van

Progressive — Progressive is honest while messy (Cheetos) son is not

Progressive — mom with 4 rowdy sons too busy for paperwork

Progressive — guy didn’t tell wife he has motorcycle, boat, RV   5/08

Progressive– man wears purse   11/9

Progressive– woman scorns man whose mother won’t let him drive    1/10

Progressive–bad driver is his ride home      11/10

Progressive–dorky guy does Disco on skates    12/10

Progressive–guy dressed up as big dollar signs does embarrassing dancing    1/11

Progressive–two obnoxious competitors get Megan’s name wrong, Flo sneers     2/11

Progressive–guy poses for Flo’s camera, wife glares      4/11

Progressive–woman selects service center with hunky guys     5/11

Progressive–2 competitors go silly for carousel    5/11

Progressive–competitors have man calendar, Flo mocks them      5/11

Progressive–inspiration for bundling was half man–half horse      6/11

Progressive–man got hands stuck in bundler     7/11

Progressive–Flo rejects guy who fell for her, Progressive and outdoors make a good couple    8/11

Progressive–competitors lie, pants catch on fire     11/11

Progressive–2 competitors praise Progressive and become camera shy      2/12

Progressive–smug Brad talks in 3rd person about himself         2/12

***Progressive–Flo has ugly driver’s license photo      4/12

Progressive–guy tries to bundle cat and rocket      6/12

Progressive–confident man tries to catch chainsaws      12/12

***Progressive–woman confused by Flo’s mumbo-jumbo      1/13

Progressive–announcer may have broken his speen        4/13

Progressive–ratesuckers stick to car–all men except maybe one woman       4/13

Progressive–woman is offended when coverage checker checks out dorky Ken      4/13

Progressive–dorky competitor knocks down row of motorcycles     5/13

Progressive–atom-splitting board zaps a guy who disappears        9/13

Progressive–box calls the groom Mark cheap while calling bride a “mighty fine Mrs” for same thing       2/14

Progressive–2 competitors try to steal price gun, but end up hanging from ceiling      3/14

Progressive–worker is decontaminated for having a price tag           7/14

***Progressive–woman converses with her puppet hand      10/14

Progresso — wife makes fun of husband’s light soup   10/08

Progresso–mom calls cook, embarrasses him about his PJs     11/11

Progresso–her clothes now fit, can she talk to a woman      12/11

Public Service Announcement–man kills 3 kids while texting while driving     11/13

Public Service Announcement–NHTSA, 3 men try to fake having seat belt on when stopped by police      5/14

Public Storage–wife has yard sale of his stupid stuff        3/13

Public Storage–son moves back in       9/14

Purolator–guy getting dental x-ray is protected by sheet of cardboard     4/12

Quelf–he must obey her card, he rolls over like dog      11/11

Quicken–she rudely rejects his marriage proposal    12/11

***Quicken–she has treadmill app on phone      12/12

Quicken–dork has “high-five” ap on phone       12/12

Quicken–guy chasing Ben Franklin on top of train runs into bridge      4/14

Quilted Northern–ads for toilet paper show several women, no men    12/10

Quilted Northern–boys TP house, woman asks what brand it is      3/14

Quiznos — pretty woman at Quiznos shop vs dorky guy at “Wrong Way” sub shop   (2)

Quiznos — man can’t remember the letter to say “mmmm”    10/07

***Quiznos–beautiful woman hates plain woman because of her wonderful sandwich  11/07

***Quiznos– woman at laundry eats $5 bill   5/08

Quiznos–he doesn’t like her floasted coinage, but everyone else does     10/13

QVC–ad for benefit against ovarian cancer    7/13

Radio Shack–dad in apron dusts while mom gets network set up    8/08

Radio Shack–guy sings badly while wearing headphones    8/09

Radio Shack–roller blader wearing awful Santa swim trunks is rude to 2 women     11/11

Radio Shack–dad torments son with model flying helicopter     12/12

Radio Shack–dad embarrasses son by having the wrong phone         1/13

Raisin Bran–daughter asks dad if “Mom make you eat that?”         4/13

Raymond James–men wear ridiculously large stovepipe hats      3/14

realtor.com–she pushes him off chair      4/14

realtor.com–she wants to make offer, he wants to wait, “Sold” sign goes up while watching on internet     5/14

Red Bull–at will reading, wife goes after dead husband who gave money to floozy   6/08

Redd’s–man hit in face with apple at party     3/13

Redd’s–man hit in face with apple at bar     3/13

Redd’s–man hit in head with apple at tailgate party     9/13

Redd’s–man at beach party is hit in head with apple, woman is not hit     7/14

Redd’s–Isaac Newton hit in head with apple      8/14

Redd’s–friend knocked out by apple in bar, friend orders his drink     8/14

Redd’s–obnoxious wine snob      9/14

Red Robin — burger violation

Red Robin — embarrassing dad steals robots burger   8/08

Red Robin — guy steals bite of spicy burger, blames Deb   8/08

Red Robin–boxer knocks out two of Siamese triplets because they didn’t bob and weave     4/12

Red Robin–sword slips out of woman’s hands, hits guy       5/14

Reese’s — proud to be whipped  2/08

Rent-a-Center–both husband & wife say he is never right    8/11

Resolve–husband tracks mud onto carpet        1/13

Reynold’s Wrap–guy can’t cut turkey that he cooked, wife glares      11/11

Ritz–2 guys eat Rachel Ray’s ritz  11/7

Ritz–hairdresser Lorenzo is wild with scissors due to hunger     4/12

Robitussin–baby in mom’s arms wakes and cries when dad coughs      11/12

Robitussin–guy coughs during wedding toast, spills drink on several women    11/13

Robitussin–another dad (in bed) wakes baby, mom mad        12/13

Rockwell–door falls on man      11/12

Rolaids–guy gets 3-alarm heartburn       2/14

Royal Caribbean–what’s the last romantic thing he did for you?     3/12

Ruffles–woman beats several guys at poker during boys night out     6/12

Russell Investments–guy fixes radiator hose with chewing gum, engine explodes, hood falls on his hand      11/11

Safe Auto — several women slap men for revealing obscene insurance rates  (one woman is slapped by other woman)

Safe Auto–guy keeps calling late at night to see if customer service is there, wife disgusted   5/08

Safe Auto–guy with “just 3 accidents” is laughed at, thrown thru door    6/08

Safe Auto–repeated kicks to the groin to show what it feels like to be caught without insurance     2/11

Safe Auto–many doctors line up to give guy prostate exam    3/11

Safe Auto–guy gets several wedgies      7/11

Safe Auto–martial artist wreaks guy’s house     7/11

Safeway–breast cancer mammovan       10/14

Safeway–breast cancer, “donate so local researchers can give women longer, happier lives”   10/14

Samsung–girlfriend dresses guy, just like other woman      12/11

Samsung–boy sends message to wrong girl, it is “rejected”         7/12

Samsung–she wins video game, he has smaller phone, he likes to whine      11/12

***Samsung–she takes credit for office work she did not do       12/12

Samsung–wife has to show rocket surgeon where to find water in refrigerator     5/13

Samsung–women make fun of graduate who does belly-flop     6/13

Samsung–guy can’t send female boss the stack on his tablet       3/14

***Samsung–Maggie gets her hands on others new tech rudely       8/14

Samsung–Kristen Bell criticizes her husband’s acting      10/14

Sandals–she is upset that he forgot wallet, but it wasn’t needed.  She won’t apologize     10/14

***Schlage–she threatens ex after breakup and dumps a waiter’s tray     5/13

Scope–she complains that he makes more dirty dishes just after she washed them       11/11

Scope–his breath makes cat cry         8/14

Seabond–male set of dentures receives a fist bump or punch       7/14

Sears–guy uses dog food instead of charcoal    6/10

Sears–woman needs new washer & dryer because husband spills on shirt and twin boys play in mud     2/11

Sears–husband cuts off tag and a chunk of her hair      7/11

Sears–dad loses son in store, who leads him to gift for mom      11/12

Sears–man upset with guy staring at wife, but staring guy is a mannequin     1/13

***Sears–woman dancer falls over washer     4/13

Sears Kenmore–son brings ravenous guys home from college      4/13

Sears–dad with Christmas tree is chased by bear      11/13

Sears–man chasing turkey runs into tree     11/13

Selsun–man scratches head at auction, buys painting, wife not happy      2/14

Serta–husband quits job to become ping-pong champ      8/14

Serta–man using experimental treatment turns many colors      8/14

Shell–technician yells as engines stop, woman comments “awkward”     3/12

Sierra Mist–guy with beard comb-over and wearing just underwear to work   11/07

Sierra Mist–nurse gives patient’s drink away.

SilkMilk–guy not logical about not trying Silkmilk     1/14

Skechers–Kim Kardashian rejects guy (trainer)   2/11

Skechers–girls are healthy, boys are bad food         5/11

Skechers–Pete Rose is not allowed in the hall       9/14

SkinnyCow–boy kicks back of women’s seats all thru flight      5/14

Skittles–man falls off treadmill     6/13

Skittles–woman’s pet cloud zaps a guy with lightning     4/14

Skittles–dad is caught in spider web       9/14

Sleepnumber–she rolls her eyes at how restless he is in bed     11/13

Sleepnumber–husband snores, she raises his head to stop it      4/14

Slim Jim–several men slapped with packages      11/13

***Slim Jim—why for men only       2/14

Slimquick–its how women lose weight   12/7

Smart Start–what is it about a cereal that makes it for women only?

Smirnoff–man in cooler      5/12

Smirnoff–man in fridge        6/12

***Smirnoff–woman calls limo to take her across street     4/14

Smokey the Bear–guy leaves burning leaves in front yard unattended     2/12

Smokey the Bear–guy says campfire is close-enough to being out, she turns into Smokey to scold him     2/12

Snackeez–gross guy wipes nose and reaches into chip bowl     4/14

Snickers–guy spells team name wrong in endzone

Snickers–historical characters, Robin Hood a bit weird   5/08

Snickers–historical characters, start singing Greensleeves  7/08

Snickers–two sharks prefer the taste of Steve    2/11

***Snickers(Superbowl)–Rosanne Barr gets hit by log in the side     2/11

Snickers–guy is a rude Joe Pesci until he eats     8/11

Snickers–Bobcat Goldthwait falls off cheerleader pyramid       2/14

Snickers–why wear a leisure suit if you can’t be leisurely?    4/14

SnoreRelief–women brings out duct tape to quiet husbands snoring   1/08

Sobe–woman wins staring contest by pushing up her boob      7/11

Soft & Dry — make him sweat

Soft Scrub– girl’s  bath replaced by dirty brothers   3/10

Sonic–guy eats food off of the car roof     3/12

Sonic–guy can’t subtract 99 from 100        2/13

Sonic–guy eats dessert in back seat to hide from wife, she finds him      3/13

Sonic–guy can’t use imagination during tea party       4/13

Sonic–two idiots, one says “swish” and “horsh”       3/14

Sonic–two idiots, one thinks other got into “premium club”     4/14

Sonic–two idiots go bonkers over master blasts      4/14

Sonic–two idiots, one only reads covers of books      8/14

Sonic–two idiots, car inside covered in cheese       8/14

Sonic–two idiots, Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! waffle cone     9/14

Sonic–two idiots, one uses chicken wing as his wing man     9/14

Sonic–two idiots, one pretends calculator is a phone       11/14

Sony — dad as a horse’s ass

***Southwest Air–woman blocks man in elevator (she didnt want to wait for him)  9/07

Southwest Air — guy gets a finger full of icing off Janice’s birthday cake  11/07

Southwest Air — guy puts coins in bank vacuum retrieve   1/08

Southwest Air — guy dancer knocks over DJ equipment  12/08

Southwest Air–guy burns microwave, sets off sprinklers   3/09

Southwest Air–barechested baggage handlers spell out “bags fly free”    3/10

Southwest Air–guy finally gets to drive race car, his wife beats him     1/14

Special K crackers– woman with 3pm hungries sees guy with popcorn in hair  5/09

Speed Stick–towel boys dry guy’s armpits       10/14

Sprint–ad in romantic chick flick style, she’s in love with phone  8/08

Sprint–dad keeps pocket dialing    12/09

Sprint–in back seat, she transfers report that he left at office    5/10

Sprint–woman breaks up with guy in many free ways: email, text, phone      8/10

Sprint–guys golf cart goes in lake     11/10

Sprint–sponsors a girls’ soccer team    5/11

Sprint–obnoxious dad goes for “3-D Gold” while filming ping-pong     8/11

Sprint–because fat guy uploaded embarrassing pics of himself in swimsuit, he couldn’t attend conference call       3/12

Sprint–because dad downloaded business app, he couldn’t film daughter’s performance as tree      3/12

Sprint–dad tries to hog phone services–one with most body hair, wife wants shower       9/12

Sprint–woman confirms two facebook requests from women, rejects Greg’s request     11/13

Sprint–dad is concerned daughter’s boyfriend would pay for his own phone, mom rolls eyes      1/14

Sprint–dad is a hamster in family where Heidi plays the piano     3/14

Sprint–family talk around table, hamster dad does not get Framily Plan        3/14

Sprint–weird friend says how to pronounce Gor-don’       4/14

Sprint–goofy male dancers, dad still a hamster         5/14

Sprint–goofy son and friend on freeway with smoking motorcycle, dad still a hamster      7/14

***Sprint–squealing women break glass      9/14

Stanley Steamer–guy messes up carpet during Dee Snider weekend      5/12

Staples — workers think 10% off applies to coffee, hair gel, plant food, and worms.  Three guys and a gal, but gal is normal while guys are idiots

***Staples–woman uses easy button which doesn’t work at gas station, wants to put some gas back   8/08

Staples–Mom gets son calculator for school, he spells “booger” on it    7/09

Staples–She wants to upgrade (computer), her girlfriend thinks she means boyfriend       10/12

Staples–dad can’t get son to help him with computer problem     10/12

Staples–dad deletes all baby pictures by mistake        11/12

Staples–man turns magician into llama     2/13

Staples–clean guy gets sneezed on by coworker      3/14

Staples–guy uses bullhorn on sleepy client      4/14

Starbucks–Oprah for Mother’s Day promo, free tea         5/14

Starburst–whale spits on 2 guys  9/07

State Farm–man gets hit in stomach with bag of peanuts at ball game.  10/07

State Farm–guy singing badly in car by himself  10/9

State Farm–guy eats doggie treat by mistake    2/10

State Farm–woman gives dirty look to guy whose zipper is down   3/10

State Farm–husband backs into car    12/10

State Farm–several men buy stupid stuff (falcon, moose head) with savings, women glare    6/11

State Farm–Jerry ran his car up a telephone pole again, after quitting State Farm    7/11

State Farm–couple makes fun of quarterback Rogers touchdown dance    10/11

State Farm–Jerry crashes through building       11/11

State Farm–parents kick son out of house      11/11

State Farm–Hank says wife is a “lucky lady,” she not thrilled      12/11

State Farm–teammate Mathews invents his own Discount DoubleCheck move, Aaron Rogers irritated     1/12

State Farm–3am tech call, wife suspicious “She sounds hideous”, “Well, he’s a guy”       1/12

State Farm–guy on phone remarks about the chicks at the Journey concert, wife glares     3/12

State Farm–Bobby Knight frightens office workers       3/12

State Farm–2 guys on fan cam at game do stupid dance     3/12

State Farm–David Copperfield is insecure and rejected     3/12

State Farm–two guys walking with lots of groceries, one has SUV        3/13

State Farm–two bankers on billboard try to hide that SF now lends     9/13

State Farm–guy from other insurance teases a woman with a dollar on a fishing line     10/13

State Farm–Aaron Rogers irritated by guys grilling on plane       10/13

State Farm–guy dreaming of sausage pillow gnaws on Aaron Rogers’ shoulder     11/13

State Farm–Hans and Franz pump up Aaron Rogers       9/14

State Farm–Rob Schneider’s copy guy has trouble with names       9/14

Steak & Shake–guy castrates dolphin ice sculpture with chainsaw   7/08

Steakum–noisy eater interrupts filming of love scene    12/10

St Jude’s–little girl puts paint on Michael Strahan’s nose    11/13

Stouffers–family eating out in car, boy gets ketchup in eye   4/08

Stouffers–father and 2 farming sons argue over who contributes more to the food     3/12

Stove Top–pilgrim fakes a scurvy attack     11/13  and 11/14

Stride Gum– ram butts guy   8/08

Stride Gum–Yeti punches guy in stomach and pops out his gum     11/11

Stride Gum–guy buys weird outfit with very short shorts       1/13

Subaru–big tent event, guy in monkey suit

Subaru–Outback detergent, guy falls off cliff with woman belaying   9/09

Subaru–guy loses sunglasses in his jacket hood   10/9

Subaru–couple lost in rocks in desert, he honks horn, she disgusted    4/11

Subaru–son takes off clothes and misbehaves in car with Mom    8/13

Subaru–loving story of raising daughter in back seat        9/13

Subaru–2 sons are learning to drive, mom says they are not ruining car but maybe dad      10/13

Subaru–daughter changes tire by herself     1/14

Subaru–dog family in car, wife growls at husband who stares at French poodle crossing street     5/14

Subaru–dad offers 5-yr old boy keys to car, but he does not want the hassle         7/14

***Subaru–grandma can’t remember the tree where she met grandpa        9/14

Subway–man photocopies butt instead of having receipt for business lunch  1/08

***Subway–woman orders big butt meal

***Subway–woman wants to keep self-esteem, guy behind counter says no special orders   1/08

Subway–fireman tricks co-workers into playing rock-paper-scissors while he eats sandwich   7/11

Subway–(with child voices) new girlfriend demands Todd’s sandwich    7/11

Subway–(with child voices) Todd gives sandwich to other woman     11/11

Subway–Michael eats everyone’s sandwiches       1/12

Subway–Michael Phelps pushes guy into pool     1/12

Subway–Pepperoni sandwich causes 2 guys to think of embarrassingly romantic trip to Venice    3/12

Subway–fireman is clueless that chief stole avocado sandwich, woman rolls eyes     7/12

Subway–2 women (with girl voices) steal coworker’s sandwich and drink       11/12

Subway–guy loses sandwich while tweeting    10/13

Subway–2 guys fight over pastra-ME sandwich       12/13

***Sudafed — woman blows up head like balloon

Sudafed–guy hit in head by football players helmet, squeezed against window on subway    2/10

SunDrop–guy does embarrasing dance      1/12

SunnyD — man log rolls SunnyD bottle and falls on crotch   1/08

Super 8 — man is splashed at the office    10/12

Suzuki — smug woman beats man to ferry  11/07

Swiffer–several faked a woman breaking up with a guy, but were about a mop instead.

***Swiffer–guy with one arm sweeps better than wife        2/14

Swiffer–Christopher Glen is a very messy        2/14

Symbicort–grandpa huffs and puffs     10/14

Taco Bell — men don’t have lapdogs, wife tells him to walk his Pekingese  10/07

Taco Bell — guys bag from other place catches fire   11/07

Taco Bell–guy in elevator bites other guy’s food   6/08

Taco Bell–2 guys in meeting of bad news distract others with food  8/08

Taco Bell–guy as pregnant woman to sneak snacks into game    3/09

Taco Bell–guys crazy about bacon       6/10

Taco Bell–sandwich lady shoves cart into guy      9/10

Taco Bell–guy goes nuts after winning free taco, 2 women laugh at him    4/11

Taco Bell–Mike tries to ask her out while her cheese melts, she calls him Mitch        5/11

Taco Bell–truck splashes guy eating cool ranch burrito       3/13

Taco Bell–Hurricane Dave gets overconfident in basketball from eating steak      11/13

Taco Bell–daughters dad who came home early chases boy       12/13

Taco Bell–guy with hands full does embarrassing dance to get card to open door, woman watches    10/14

Taco Bell–guy meets her dad on the street, won’t put down food to shake his hand, so kisses him     11/14

Taco Del Mar–he thinks tamales are better than wife        11/12

Tampax — upgrade your guy and your feminine hygiene

Target–college son misuses gifts from mom   8/09

Target–guy gives necklace, she “didn’t know we were there yet”    12/09

Target–dad tries to connect TV, kids focus camera on his butt    12/09

Target–“It’s what every woman wants”

Target–(chlorox wipes), boy doesn’t wash hands after going to bathroom   8/10

Target (Snickers)–man steals icing off of cake, wife is upset   2/11

Target–guy orders onion vinegrette, has bad breath    3/11

Target–man says he made dinner while hiding take-out packages   2/11

Target–he apologizes to her in bed      5/11

Target–Josh talked to another girl    7/11

Target–Dad can’t find funny smell while carrying baby on chest     7/11

Target–golfer leaves her at the airport      8/11

Target–boy dips hands into jelly and peanut butter jars     2/12

Target–man is too weak to move sofa     3/12

taxact.com–female cabbie yells at 2 guys and kicks them out of cab      1/12

taxact.com–(superbowl) boy pees in pool           2/12

Teleflora–mom grinds boxed flowers who talk like sons in disposal, including stamens    4/10

Teleflora–guy sends heartfelt note with flowers “Your rack is unreal”, Faith Hill glares at him    2/11

Teleflora–Faith Hill shames guy who still lives with parents because of hottub      5/11

Teleflora–(superbowl) women’s prostitution ethic, sexy model tells men, “give and you shall receive”      2/12

Temptations–guy wears his cats as boots      9/12

***Tempurpedic–mom is a bear when she doesn’t get enough sleep    6/13

Tempurpedic–her bed cuddles better than her husband        6/14

Tide–husband stains tablecloth   8/09

Tide–makes fun of guy’s jogging outfit    3/10

Tide–Dad “busted” for mess (he cleans tablecloth)        10/10

***Tide–mom stains daughters green top      11/10

Tide–dad tries to stain daughter’s mini-skirt    12/10

Tide–wife tells him “you suck at folding”      11/11

Tide–dad is put in jail by daughter for 20 minutes to life        1/13

Tide–like father, like son, both stain a lot    7/13

Tide–father and son are delicate flowers and messy    8/13

***Tide Pods–anal woman is concerned about organization of fridge    2/14

Tide Sport–son doesn’t tell mom about bag with dirty clothes      4/14

Tide–woman sits next to stinky guy on plane        7/14

Tide–he has funky new shorts      9/14

***Tidy Cat–woman baby talks to cats, they think its charades  4/08

TimeWarner–copy machine eats guys tie  4/08

TimeWarner–woman has to call dad to learn to unplug misbehaving washer   12/10

T-Mobile–animals in fav5 including pig  7/07

T-Mobile–stupid dad thinks 5X5 is 26, mom & daughter shame him.  8/07

T-Mobile–guy has to keep recording answering machine message to date  12/07

T-Mobile–dad upset about phone use, even though daughter aces physics, son drives thru garage  3/08

T-Mobile–brother hoses sister who knocks him around as well as wet wedgie   8/08

T-Mobile–dad stares at woman at son’s soccer  9/08

T-Mobile–wife makes fun of husband who keeps butt-dialing her   1/09

T-Mobile–daughters set up “superdelicious”  dad      3/09

T-Mobile–salesman avoided and hosed, but Zeta-Jones gets attention    6/09

T-Mobile–man flirts with Zeta-Jones, says he is married “technically”   7/09

T-Mobile–teenage boy gets too frisky with Zeta-Jones   7/09

T-Mobile–T-Mobile woman is great, other phone guy has guy on his back   11/10

T-Mobile–2 obnoxious guys on mini bike    11/10

T-Mobile–guy pixilates when he steps out of wi-fi zone, his mother hits AT&T guy   12/10

T-Mobile–shirtless iphone guy and bald AT&T guy embarrassed by pink T-Mobile woman    1/11

T-Mobile–dorky AT&T guy sings badly with keyboard, pretty T-Mobile gal sneers    2/11

T-Mobile–guy misses free throws, he only makes 46%, she shames him     1/12

T-Mobile–spokesmodel criticizes guy dressed as Cupid for no pants      2/12

T-Mobile–spokesmodel on motorcycle zooms by slowpoke guy     5/12

T-Mobile–Bill Hader drops phone in urinal      8/13

T-Mobile–Bill Hader forgets to wash phone before putting it in rice    8/13

T-Mobile–fat guy sits on and breaks Bill Hader’s phone      8/13

T-Mobile–robber won’t steal Bill Hader’s bad phone      8/13

T-Mobile–Bill Hader doesn’t quickly receive texts, doesn’t pick her up at hospital    8/13

T-Mobile–Hader hears his phone bouncing around in clothes dryer      9/13

T-Mobile–parents sell Jeremy’s car to Darrell     10/13

T-Mobile–Jeremy’s parents upset over high rates in Europe    10/13

T-Mobile–Jeremy’s mom must give piano lessons to pay his phone bill    10/13

Tombstone–mom makes 3 sons take off shirts so they won’t get stained      10/13

Tomcat–dead mouse theater, viking theme, all are male       9/14

Tomcat–dead mouse theater, baseball player misses the catch and pants fall down     10/14

Tostitos–truth or dare, man chased by wolves, male bonding   4/08

Toyota — world’s worst parallel parker is a guy 8/07

Toyota — Nicky with bad bladder, has accidents and hits sister in back of head.  10/07

Toyota–guy gets hybrid to stop waking baby, but klutz drops something to wake baby   1/08

Toyota–wife says “Buzzsaw” will not get back in the band     12/10

Toyota Corolla–mother badger eats guys face

Toyota Corolla–guy may get bad sushi  2/08

Toyota Corolla–guy must get to girlfriend on small amount of gas before water polo team steals her.  He is hit in head with ball    3/08

***Toyota Sienna–mom who thinks she’s hot leaves diaper bag on roof    3/10

Toyota Sienna–2 dads compete with each other     4/10

Toyota Highlander–lame dad embarrasses son   11/10

Toyota–(superbowl) reinvented rain makes guy skinny, his pants fall down      2/12

Toyota–guy drives away with gas nozzle still in car, blows up gas station      5/12

Toyota Venza–Suburu guy has no style        10/11

Toyota–he spaces out with car that is “exciting and reliable”, it is her “me time”      12/12

Toyota–he is in red camry making a fool of himself     12/12

Toyota–two guys lose bet, must shave half their heads       4/13

Toyota–genie puts accident-prone son in bubble wrap, kids use him as basketball      4/13

Toyota–dad uses stupid wishes from genie, loses his spare tire on car, infinite witches, animals laugh at him      4/13

Toyota–he sarcastically agrees that she has a good memory, she gets upset        4/13

Toyota–talking baby stinks up car    6/13

Toyota–guy walks into dealership with “no clue” what he wants      12/13

Toyota–guy asks race driver to sign potted plant, women glare       3/14

Toyota–guy runs 14 mph in dealership in 10mph zone       5/14

Toyota–dad thinks the Shuttle project is his        8/14

Travelocity–dad makes bad reservation, hotel pool has no water      11/11

Travelocity–he screams that he didn’t make reservation with Travelocity, she glares at him      4/12

Trident Gum–reprise of VERY bad ad from several years ago.  Squirrel runs up leg of 5th dentist and bites in nuts   11/08

***TriVago–fat guy gets better deal than beautiful model       4/13

Trojan–his birthday present is sex     3/14

Tropicana–woman slaps buff gardener to impress her girlfriends     12/10

TrueCar.com–“I don’t need to bring a dude with me”       6/13

TruGreen–Penn & Teller fix lawn and give guy a puff ball head      3/12

TruGreen–Weed Slayer kills yard but not weed      3/12

TruGreen–guy staples cat under lawn carpet     3/12

TruGreen–guy seeds his lawn, only to have a flock of birds come and eat all of the seed         4/12

TruValue–salesman sees woman with dirty face, remembers his problem with squirrel who hits him with bulb  4/08

Tums–piece of chicken slaps guy in face   3/10

***Tums–food slaps woman with heartburn

Tums–6 foot tall BBQ chicken slugs guy      12/13

Tums–huge meatball parachutes onto table and picks a fight    4/14

TurboTax–wife complains he won’t ask directions, he says left turn, but female GPS corrects     1/10

TurboTax–announcer asks Kristi Yamaguchi if he can write off his hairpiece, Kristi looks disgusted      2/10

TurboTax–plumber did taxes earlier       1/13

TurboTax–wife makes him donate his favorite shirt to charity     1/14

Twix — Mom and daughter catch boyfriend picking up Mom’s underwear.  (This one may also make fun of Mom for her big underwear.)

Twix–guy loses out on good idea because his boss goes crazy over a walkman         7/14

Twix–boy gets packing tape across his mouth     10/14

Tyco–woman activates security elevator, man can’t, he falls through hole in floor      3/13

***Tylenol PM — woman face down on conference table

Uloric–guy carries huge beaker containing his pee        5/11

Universal Resort–girl says she wants to turn her brother into a human being     3/12

***UPS–female boss is not funny      11/12

USDOT—beer-filled cars and helmet belong to only guys     5/10

USDOT–only guys ticketed for no safety belt       5/11

USPS–shopping vs shipping, wife tricks husband     12/09

USPS–guy gets a good deal on a billboard in the middle of nowhere     3/12

***USPS–owner has wife outside business dancing in chicken suit     3/12

USPS–director gives actors instructions, he overacts, she is perfect     3/12

***V8–toddler hits mom

V8-waiter hits male diner,

V8–woman in drive-thru hits male driver

V8–man let’s dog eat vegies off plate, dog hits man in head  11/07

V8 Fusion– wife hits hubby 3 times    1/8  (men aren’t allowed to hit women, but women can hit men)

V8–couple at salad bar, wife hits man   4/08

***V8 Fusion — woman’s reflection hits her in restaurant  1/8

V8–Jackie Chan tilts guy back in chair, pours liquid into mouth     5/12

V8–mom won’t let son leave table till vegies are eaten, he grows old       11/12

V8–female trainer bops guy doing pushups    8/13

Velveeta–guy is liquid gold-digger, asks woman for soup     10/13

Verizon–dorky boy band, member goes solo

Verizon– dad says he is looking out for number 1 to family, but he is number 1  10/07

Verizon–Mr Commitment, why buy cow when only pay the day you use it  3/08

***Verizon — mom can quit job as a taco

Verizon Wireless — wimpy guys who can’t make it into NFL or NHL   (2)

Verizon Wireless — other incompetent network is all guys

Verizon — family camping, dad gets blame for mosquitos  5/08

Verizon — guy worker has feet stuck in cement   8/08

Verizon–(Rhapsody) son embarrassed by dad dressed glam   9/08

Verizon–secretary reads lazy boss the day’s trifling schedule   10/08

Verizon–mom grimaces at son’s mispronunciation of “paella”    3/09

Verizon–guy dumps gallon of sprinkles on ice cream    3/09

Verizon–only phone smart enough to keep up with women     1/10

Verizon–palm pre plus smart enough to keep up with Mom    2/10

Verizon–many women “rule the air”      8/10

Verizon–guy with slow phone is hosed by firemen    7/11

Verizon–10 yr old Susie has impressive lemonade business      2/12

Verizon–guys playing basketball list several bad ideas      3/12

***Verizon–mother and daughter cry about daughter moving out, Razr phones console them     4/12

Verizon–weird guy dances on video with her cat       5/12

Verizon–father and son need subtitles to translate their grunts      5/12

Verizon–man brings home Christmas tree that is too big for room      12/12

Verizon–brothers compete for best snowman, mom and sister win      1/13

Verizon–PSA criticizes for stifling girls, promotes science for women        7/14

Verizon–large bird carries away husband        7/14

Verizon–football players cheer on guy in his daily activities       8/14

Vicks — George coughs on everyone  11/07

Vicks–guy with man-cold can’t reach remote, disgusted wife throws medicine on him    1/11

Vicks–guy slips on kitchen floor during sick day      3/12

Virgin Mobile–Branson finishes fast, disappoints woman     12/12

Visa–men do funny dances to Super freak song    9/09

Visa–Amelia Earhart promotes women’s ski-jumping at Olympics      2/14

Visine–cartoon eyeball driving car is irritated by the singing of passenger dust      8/14

Viva–husband just cleaned counter, badly       3/14

Vizio–daughter catches dad listening to her station     11/13

Vizio–daughter teaches dad how to use tech      1/14

Vlasic–guy yells with excitement at funeral        5/12

Volkswagen(Superbowl)–12 men slugged, one to groin  (maybe 1 woman slugged but too far away to see)     2/10

Volkswagen–salesman scares baby   4/10

Volkswagen–guys want to go to Vegas during test drive     11/11

Volkswagen–family during test drive, leaves salesman in the garage     11/11

Volkswagen–(superbowl) Darth Vader chokes guy using the force         2/12

Volkswagen–father will kill son for accident       6/12

Volkswagen–dad’s negotiating for car is really sports talk      7/12

Volkswagen–guy in mid-sized car embarrassed after he is caught air-drumming to Rush     10/12

Volkswagen–very dorky guy tries to teach son to throw baseball      1/13

***Volkswagen–woman has irritating laugh during 9-hour drive      3/13

Volkswagen–family mocks dad who brags about his car deal     7/13

Volkswagen–wife hears parrot mock man who brags about his car deal     8/13

Volkswagen–unknown co-worker says passenger wishes he was voted most appealing     9/13

Volkswagen–guy finds himself singing badly in meeting     10/13

Volkswagen–engineers get wings, one gets slapped, another gets rainbow out butt      2/14

Volkswagen–man drives back & forth in garage to get 100,000 miles, wife disgusted      2/14

Volkswagen–saleswoman stomps all-over salesman’s pitch       4/14

Vonage–several years ago had “people do stupid things”, all were men.

Vonage–vonage woman easily wins over phone company guy  11/07

Vonage–mom makes expensive calls to India, wife tells him not that expensive      2/12

Walgreens–woman shames man for wrapped oven-mit gift   12/07

Walgreens–man who says he won’t get deleted, gets deleted from camera  12/08

Walgreens–2 men compete for Valentine presents, one shamed for contact solution     2/10

Walgreens–2 women shame Drew Brees    9/10

Walgreens–Valentine gifts in aisles far apart, customer needs the walking to lose weight     2/12

Walgreens–climber is asked if he wants to call his mommy     3/12

Walgreens–old rocker hurts himself      3/12

Walgreens–golfer with allergy hits tee marker instead of ball    3/12

***Walgreens–mom with allergy puts keys in son’s lunch by mistake     5/12

***Walgreens–girl gets into grandma’s purse and throws money in fountain     10/13

Walgreens–guy destroys room with RC helicopter        12/13

Walgreens–window washer doesn’t have present for fellow worker, woman laughs     12/13

Walmart–“moms can do anything” including making football snacks   9/08

Walmart–wife makes steak, hubby confused, did he forget birthday?   7/09

Walmart–guy drives thru garage door while pretending to play Xbox   11/09

Walmart–wife threatens to leave if he not ready in five minutes while he primps (against stereotype)   12/09

Walmart–boy gets head stuck in balusters     4/11

Walmart–two burly mechanics carry little dogs      5/11

***Walmart–woman thinks expensive car is hers, instead of station wagon      5/11

Walmart–2 girls smear sleeping grandpa with beauty products     5/11

Walmart–boy as Lincoln forgets lines, others text lines, one embarrasses him     7/11

Walmart–guys using smartphone to try to diagnose friend  (leprosy)      8/11

Walmart–son calls dad from college study hall, but he’s really in dorm where roommates are chicken fighting      8/11

***Walmart–woman thinks older tourists are paparazzi, she exposes their film      8/11

Walmart–husband scolded into dog house for bringing his “toy” (drill) to Christmas dinner       10/11

Walmart–song “Grandma run over by Reindeer” was true, dad scolded    11/11

Walmart–Uncle Leon has to sit at kids table     11/11

***Walmart–woman thinks she is rich enough to buy crown jewels     11/11

Walmart–guys get tools for Christmas    12/11

Walmart–dad stuck upside down in tree on snowshoe trip     12/11

***Walmart–mom wants to teach kid to walk because he is taking valuable cart space     12/11

Walmart–couple getting in shape, he is winded running in from car     12/11

Walmart–teen boy sings badly to girl on phone

Walmart–she calls him Ken in Barbieland       12/12

Walmart–she kicks him in shin to see if he is awake     12/12

Walmart–she tells him how to save money on nook, he says he knew      12/12

Walmart–glasses repaired if son breaks them     8/13

Walmart Basic Talk–golden retriever threatens guy in grandfather’s house     12/13

Walmart–dad and son fool mom, open Xbox early       12/13

Walmart–son catches dad playing his gift video game before Christmas     12/13

Walmart–2 men are in trouble–late for Christmas     12/13

Walmart–barber burns guy’s forehead while shaving with a straight razor      12/13

Walmart–guy puts poison ivy in his mouth       8/14

Wanchai Ferry–woman scolds panda to get elbows off table      10/11

Warner cable–guy nickle and dimed to death (All death figures are male)  12/07

Washington Mutual–other bankers (all men) are nude

Waxvac–man hurts himself with Q-tip in ear      12/12

WeatherTech–mom is horrified on what is on son’s sneakers      8/14

Weber’s BBQ–family substitutes Weber’s sauce when dad not looking       6/13

Wells Fargo–dad exaggerates about kids school activities, mom corrects him      11/11

Wendy’s–woman rolls eyes at guy who is a “meatatarian”    8/08

Wendy’s–2 women with 2 course lunches shame guy with 1 course and “pooky bear” ringtone    4/10

Wendy’s–guy frightened on ladder because woman keeps saying “fall”     9/10

Wendy’s–guys get slapped to show spiciness of sandwich    2/11

Wendy’s–woman shouts “I should dump him” in restaurant     5/12

Wendy’s–man has trouble with very hot burrito      1/13

Wendy’s–Wendy wears a necklace which says “Mom”     9/13

Wendy’s–office worker staples his tie while staring at her sandwich      10/13

Wendy’s–guy talks to sandwich, she sarcastically says it isn’t weird       12/13

Wendy’s–Wendy makes fun of guy with “non-specific fish”       3/14

***Wendy’s–woman steals Wendy’s better salad       3/14

Wendy’s–date gives Wendy’s mom her own flowers       8/14

Wendy’s–date rents a tux for gouda          9/14

Weightwatchers–Charles Barkley tells us to lose like a man     12/11

Wheat Thins—helicopter rescuer steals snack from guy trapped under rock       10/10

Wheat Thins–guy falls into his own trap door in kitchen        8/14

Whiskas–guy talks embarrassingly to cat while still on conference call to work    3/12

Whiskas–golf buddy interrupts guy baby-talking to cat      4/12

Windex — birds crash guy into glass door  (2)

Windex — disgusted wife cleans door after birds crash hubby into it  9/07

Windex–too bright to be his house, not everythings as bright    5/08

Windex–wife tricks hubby into cleaning pool    3/09

Windex–mom tricks 2 teenage sons to get ready for school on Saturday   10/9

Windows Phone–guy does awful dance with phone   11/10

Windows Phone–guy picks phone out of urinal, other guy gets baseball in head     11/10
Windows Phone–guy texts on phone and ignores wife in negligee    4/11

Wink–male robot gawks at woman exercising      11/14

Xerox — coworkers avoid irritating laughing man  10/07

***Xerox — jerky woman victim of broken mute button

XM — sports fans sock each other

Yoplait–woman on phone, talking about her sweets, husband looking in fridge for them  1/08

Yoplait–calcium for women   8/08

Yoplait–contribute to Komen   9/10

Yoplait–woman shoves cart into guys to get to black forest yogurt     1/11

Yoplait–woman says bald guy hasn’t changed a bit at reunion    2/11

***Yoplait–kids embarrassed by mom with smoky eyes     11/13

Yoplait–daughter swops out edgy boyfriend      11/13

Zicam–male pre-cold monster is hit by stepvan     11/12

Zillow–she rolls her eyes at his opinion     6/13

Ziplock–man slips on cat-eye marbles      10/14

Zurich–“fore” with guy getting hit on head with golf ball  12/07

Zyrtec–dad’s sneeze disrupts tea party, and he can’t hula hoop      3/14

 

 

national coalition for menMen as buffoons media bias needs to stop.

However, such media bias proves women control most of the money…

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NCFM PR Director Steven Svoboda, Esq. issues press release by Attorneys for the Rights of the Child http://ncfm.org/2014/12/action/ncfm-pr-director-steven-svoboda-esq-issues-press-release-by-attorneys-for-the-rights-of-the-child/ http://ncfm.org/2014/12/action/ncfm-pr-director-steven-svoboda-esq-issues-press-release-by-attorneys-for-the-rights-of-the-child/#comments Fri, 12 Dec 2014 03:23:52 +0000 http://ncfm.org/?p=18292 circumcisionAttorneys for the Rights of the Child Preparing Response to Today’s Draft Circumcision Regulations Released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)

The human rights organization Attorneys for the Rights of the Child is preparing a response to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention regarding its release December 2, 2014 of a draft of proposed circumcision guidelines.

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Berkeley, CA (PRWEB) December 03, 2014

The human rights organization Attorneys for the Rights of the Child (ARC) (http://www.arclaw.org) is preparing a response to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) regarding its release on December 2, 2014 of a draft of proposed circumcision guidelines (https://www.federalregister.gov/articles/2014/12/02/2014-27814/recommendations-for-providers-counseling-male-patients-and-parents-regarding-male-circumcision-and).

J. Steven Svoboda, ARC’s Executive Director, commented today, “Sadly, the CDC has chosen to ignore the medical evidence to try to justify an outmoded and painful cultural—not medical—practice. In these days of constantly mounting medical costs and ever scarcer resources, we simply cannot afford to continue supporting and performing a harmful and antiquated procedure.”

Regarding the CDC’s claim that circumcision’s benefits outweigh the risks, Svoboda commented, “The CDC omitted the functions of the amputated tissue. If the CDC advocates for cutting off a body part, shouldn’t we know what that body part does?”

Svoboda commented, “If circumcision is as desirable as the CDC suggests, why are European countries moving towards banning it, why are their males healthier than Americans, and why does the CDC not come out and recommend it?” By the CDC’s own admission, Americans are increasingly choosing to leave their sons intact, as circumcision rates have plunged in recent years.

Svoboda added, “A recent study (Bossio, Int’l Soc. for Sexual Medicine 2014) concluded that the literature favoring circumcision contains considerable gaps, lacks rigor and is largely not applicable to North America.” Studies of HIV in adult males in Africa suffer from methodological and statistical errors and even if valid, given vast differences in health conditions and modes of transmission, the results can hardly be applied to justify infant male circumcision in the United States. “Doctors cannot ethically remove tissue from babies without consent, based on speculation about their possible sexual behavior decades later,” Svoboda added.

“Male circumcision,” Svoboda said, “violates a child’s right to bodily integrity, not to mention numerous civil and criminal statutes.” Malpractice awards are mounting up; a list of seventy such cases were released by ARC (http://www.arclaw.org/resources/settlements), the largest amounts to 22.8 million dollars (Antonio Willis v. Northside Hospital Atlanta, March1991).

Attorneys for the Rights of the Child is a non-profit organization founded in 1997 to protect children from unnecessary medical procedures to which they do not consent.

national coalition for menCircumcise nothing until people are old enough to decide for themselves.

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NCFM Member Naomi Evans fourth letter to Washington legislators re paternity fraud reform legislation http://ncfm.org/2014/12/action/ncfm-member-naomi-evans-third-fourth-to-washington-legislators-re-paternity-fraud-reform-legislation/ http://ncfm.org/2014/12/action/ncfm-member-naomi-evans-third-fourth-to-washington-legislators-re-paternity-fraud-reform-legislation/#comments Thu, 11 Dec 2014 23:43:34 +0000 http://ncfm.org/?p=18280 paternity fraudDear Washington Legislators,

Owing to my own personal involvement, the issue of Paternity Fraud is, unfortunately, an issue I’ve had plenty of time to think about. So, I’ve given a lot of thought to the far reaching inequalities between men and women with regard to reproductive choice.

Women have fought for decades to win and maintain a woman’s freedom to choose life or death for the fetus within her body. I am not going to argue either for or against a woman’s “choice,” but I would like to stimulate an honest conversation on the disparities between a woman’s right to choose vs. a man’s right to choose.

Since the 1973 supreme court ruling of Roe v. Wade, women in America have basked in the glorious power to choose whether or not they wanted to become a mother. And, although I myself am grateful that the decision is available to me, I would like to ponder the flip side of the supreme court ruling that gave women alone this choice to make. After all, didn’t a man help create that little seed of joy that has now taken root within her womb?

I realize I am opening up a can of ethical worms here, but I’m going to continue with this train of thought, even though some may find discontent with my opinions. I would like to question why women are given so much power when it comes to reproduction and child rearing. We are all told, as young sexually frustrated adolescents, that it “takes two to tango”; so can someone please tell me why there is such gross inequality in the power of breeding?

I never thought about all of these things until being faced with my husband’s paternity fraud. In response I’ve had to write so many arguments in support of the passage of legislation would free my husband, and others affected by this issue. But the more I look at the laws, whether common law or statute law, and look at how judicial opinions have muddled the playing field, I can’t help but feel disgust.

Men like my husband—who have been judicially forced to continue providing for a child that is not biologically theirs—have no legal protections. Women, however are given three legally protected avenues by which they can, and often do, abandon their parental responsibility after becoming pregnant.

  1. Abortion- because of Roe v. Wade, a woman has the right under the fourteenth amendment of due process to be legally afforded the choice of deciding whether or not to keep a child.  Unfortunately this law does not require a woman to disclose to any putative father the fact that she is pregnant with his child; nor does it address a father’s right to be given a legal standing in the potential life or death decision regarding his unborn child. A woman may simply obtain an abortion without ever having to notify the father, or allow him to voice a desire to keep the child.
  1. Adoption- every day children in America are given up for adoption by mothers who made the conscious decision to avoid parenthood. As noble as this may seem to some, it becomes very disturbing when you discover how many birth fathers have lost their children to adoptive parents while having to fight the mother in court—the mother who gave his child away to the highest bidder. Many of these men lost children without ever knowing they were a father, or, at least, not until it was too late to reverse the adoption process. And the worst part of this is the reality that most of these fathers do not have the financial means to fight a judicial system that continues to favor this form of human trafficking/kidnapping.

It is, in my opinion, downright immoral for any woman to be given the legal right to secretly abandon a child born from a consenting union of two people.

Can you imagine if a father took his newborn baby without the mother’s permission and just handed it over to some “Tom, Dick or Harry” to adopt the child? I have no doubt that the level of outrage pouring from the Feminist groups would make Armageddon look like dinner at the Walton’s.

  1. Legal Abandonment- In Washington State under RCW 13.34.360 a person is granted legal immunity from prosecution if they leave a newborn infant with a qualified person at a fire station, or emergency room. Furthermore this particular law stipulates that the abandoning person is not required to give any personal identifying information for themselves or the infant.  What this law equates to is allowing a parent (most likely the mother) the ability to completely forego any parental or legal responsibility for a child without the other parent’s (the father’s) permission, or indeed any way to contact the father in the likely instance that he was not apprised of his child’s existence or given the choice to care for the child himself.

Can you imagine the legal uproar and repercussions that would ensue if a father took a newborn from a mother without her consent and proceeded to abandon that child with a “qualified” person at a fire station or emergency room without ever giving the qualified child handler a name or way to contact the child’s mother? Somehow I don’t believe those father’s would be granted immunity, but would instead be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for kidnapping, child endangerment, abandonment, etc.

It seems pretty outrageous when you think of it given that perspective doesn’t it?

When you begin to look at these substantial avenues of legally mandated feminine control over reproduction and parenting; I believe that it begs the question of, why?  Why are there so many varied and powerful laws that support a woman’s choice to abandon or relinquish the responsibility of a child that was created with the necessary involvement of a man, yet deny men any of these avenues to voluntarily relinquish their legal or financial obligation to a child?  This is especially egregious in the cases of Paternity Fraud victims that have been named the legal father through unjust practices such as default judgments or fraud perpetuated against them by a criminal woman. Such gender biased extremes have continued to lead to men being “raped” of their god given and constitutional rights to freedom and due process.

Why do our judicial systems and social services departments feel justified in stripping a man of his paternal rights when it serves their agenda, while punishing other men who have been maliciously “father shopped” by vindictive and criminal women as in cases of paternity fraud?

In the majority of paternity fraud cases, these innocent men are only guilty of trusting, trusting that the phrase “under penalty of perjury” held real consequences and had real deterrent value against women making false paternity claims. But, even after DNA evidence is presented, and the truth is brought to light, many of these “defrauded” men still have no recourse. The “statute of limitations” for challenging or disestablishing paternity has long ago passed them by, and they are consequently forced into involuntary servitude.

Roe v. Wade upheld women’s rights to abortion under a belief that her right to choose was upheld by the fourteenth amendments “due process” clause. Yet, when it comes to enforcing child support and other legal obligations upon fathers, lawmakers fail to recognize the ways in which they often violate men’s rights to due process, and, in some ways, the thirteenth amendment’s stipulations against slavery.

Only one command in our United States Constitution is declared twice. Both the Fifth and the Fourteenth Amendment use the same words referred to as the Due Process Clause to describe the State’s legal obligation. These words are “No one shall be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law”. These words are supposed to act as a promise or assurance that all levels of the government must operate within the law and provide fair procedures.

The 13th Amendment states: Section 1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

So forgive me if forcing an innocent man to adopt and financially provide for a non-biological child seems like a blatant disregard and violation of these Constitutional rights.  After all, there is only one form of “debtor’s prison” that remains in America, and it remains with special regard given for men who fail to pay court ordered child support—regardless if the debt has been ordered in violation of these rights.

It is time for equality across the board in these family matters.

We victims and concerned citizens ask that our lawmakers uphold the rights afforded us under the Constitution and take the necessary steps to pass and sign into law, paternity reform that will help restore equity and equality in the coming 2015 Legislature

Yours Truly,

Naomi Evans- Bremerton (26th district)

www.survivingpaternityfraud2ndwife.blogspot.com

national coalition for menCheck our the paternity fraud “Story” at http://www.paternityfrauddna.com/story/

Paternity fraud is the only crime in which the perpetrator is guaranteed and income by the government and the victim is indentured to his abuser. Disgusting and morally reprehensible.

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NCFM PRESS RELEASE calling for the resignation of University President Teresa Sullivan http://ncfm.org/2014/12/action/ncfm-press-release-calling-for-the-resignation-of-university-president-teresa-sullivan/ http://ncfm.org/2014/12/action/ncfm-press-release-calling-for-the-resignation-of-university-president-teresa-sullivan/#comments Sun, 07 Dec 2014 22:51:48 +0000 http://ncfm.org/?p=18222 teresa sullivanNCFM calls for the resignation of University President Teresa Sullivan

For Immediate Release

December 7, 2014

National Coalition For Men (NCFM) Calls For the Immediate Removal of University of Virginia (UVA) President Teresa Sullivan.

San Diego, CA – The National Coalition for Men (NCFM), a national organization dedicated to ending harmful discrimination of men and boys, is calling for the immediate removal of University of Virginia President Teresa Sullivan.

Rolling Stone magazine recently published a horrific story of gang rape at a University of Virginia fraternity party in 2012. President Sullivan suspended fraternal organizations after the article’s release roughly two years after the alleged assault. The story and allegation have been discredited.

“Suspending campus fraternal organizations based on sensationalized but unproven allegations is indicative of why an ever increasing number of college men, if not fraternal organizations, file lawsuits against their university,” said Harry Crouch, NCFM’s president.

“Moreover, suspending the fraternities, disrupting the education of innocent students, creating other hardships, and kicking innocent men out of their homes two years after an unsubstantiated allegation of gang rape, is irrational and reprehensible. Lower classman were not even students at UVA when the alleged incident occurred! Why punish them? Her ill-conceived overreactions appear driven by, political correctness, rape culture hysteria, the movement to end Greek campus culture, and damage control, rather than student safety. Many callers to our offices want to know how to stop the current witch-hunting crusade against male students on university campuses. President Sullivan’s resignation is a good place to start,” said Crouch.

“Once again, we witness vigilante justice instigated by ideologically driven shoddy journalism and media sensationalism. Here, like at Duke, Hofstra and Montana State (Bozeman) innocent young were hung high, directly or by association, by campus leaders while misguided student activists cheered the lynchings. President Sullivan, Rolling Stone magazine, and wrongheaded activists could not have done more damage to real victims of rape if they had tried. We support the voices of reason that call for Sullivan’s resignation, said Crouch.”

Please sign the petition for President Sullivan’s resignation: https://www.change.org/p/university-of-virginia-board-of-visitors-fire-university-of-virginia-president-teresa-sullivan

For further information, please contact: Harry Crouch at (619) 231-1909.

national coalition for men

University of Virginia President Teresa Sullivan needs to resign now.

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NCFM Advisor Michael Conzachi, “Feel Good Story – U.S. Army Staff Sergeant Ryan Pitts – Medal of Honor Recipient” http://ncfm.org/2014/12/action/ncfm-advisor-michael-conzachi-feel-good-story-u-s-army-staff-sergeant-ryan-pitts-medal-of-honor-recipient/ http://ncfm.org/2014/12/action/ncfm-advisor-michael-conzachi-feel-good-story-u-s-army-staff-sergeant-ryan-pitts-medal-of-honor-recipient/#comments Sun, 07 Dec 2014 00:04:51 +0000 http://ncfm.org/?p=18194 ssgt pittsFeel Good Story – U.S. Army Staff Sergeant Ryan Pitts (SSG Pitts) – Medal of Honor Recipient

By Michael Conzachi

While extreme feminist politicians like Senator Claire McCaskill (D-MO) and Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) screech about a fictional sexual assault epidemic in the military and on college campuses; few stories like that of SSG Ryan Pitts are followed by the main stream press for more than a day or two.

All of us, including the media, need to be reminded most guys are good, instead of labeling every man in uniform a rapist in waiting and enacting draconian legislation to strip away their basic due process and constitutional rights.

SSG Pitts is one of those good guys. He was recently awarded the Medal of Honor for his heroic actions in one of the most ferocious battles in Afghanistan; the Battle of Wanat in 2008.

SSG Pitts; a forward observer in the 173rd Airborne Brigade was manning OP Topside, a poorly protected nine man observation post.

At daybreak on July 13th, the team, along with another 35-40 U.S. forces and roughly two dozen Afghan National Army Forces were attacked by between 200 and 500 enemy insurgents. SSG Pitts’ position was overwhelmed with rocket propelled grenades, machine gun fire, and hand grenades. Eight members of the “OP” were killed. SSG Pitt’s suffered serious wounds to both legs and his right arm. Even so, he fought on, crawling among his dead friends, firing a machine gun, and retrieving hand grenades, which he lobbed at the enemy. Several others were killed in the ensuing battle. He was still able to call for air support, which caused the insurgents to retreat. His courage, determination, and actions saved many American and Afghan lives.

SSG Pitts was eventually transported to Walter Reed Medical Center to begin a long and painful recovery. While there, SSG Pitts learned of 5-year-old Evan Pertile of Columbia South Carolina. Evan had a recently detected brain tumor.

SSG Pitts learned that Evan; who is now nine, loved the military. Chemotherapy treatments zapped his appetite. He was wasting away, literally starving to death. Word spread and soon Evan received thousands of letters from soldiers and Marines from all over the world, even some from the Irish military. SSG Pitts was instrumental in rallying support for Evan. Many Soldiers and Marines told Evan to eat, and he did

While still recovering from his wounds, SSG Pitts went to Memphis to meet Evan. His visits became routine. When SSG Pitts received his Medal of Honor at a formal ceremony at the Pentagon, nine-year-old Evan and his mother were present. Until then, Evan and his mother were unaware of SSG Pitts’ heroic actions in battle.

http://burnpit.us/2014/06/ryan-pitts-reluctant-hero-receiving-medal-honor

ssg pittsToday, Evan’s cancer is in remission, his appetite has returned and he is progressing forward.

SSG Pitts left the military, is married to his wife Amy, and they have a one year old son, Lucas. He received a bachelor’s degree in business development from the University of New Hampshire and now works for the Oracle Corporation. They live in New Hampshire, and stay in contact with Evan and his mom, who Ryan and Amy call family.

In addition, Pitts serves on the Board of Directors for the Dreamcatchers, a non-profit that provides social and recreational activities for people with special needs.

ssg pittsThe military is not rife with rapists, but it is full of good men and women, like Ryan Pitts and his eight buddies who died in “OP Topside” and many others like them. Those heroes make America safe for politicians like McCaskill and Gillibrand.

Ryan Pitts’ heroic actions on the battlefield saved lives and his heroic actions off the battlefield with Evan, gave Evan the will to survive as well. Here’s hoping the media follows more stories like this one and not so many with questionable allegations of sexual assault. Good men deserve more good press.

Well done Soldier, well done. Audentia et Fortitudo

 

national coalition for menIf you have a feel good story about good men like SSG Pitts please send it our way.

Thank you SSG Pitts, thank you for all you do for the rest of us.

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NCFM Member Jeanne Falla response to “Some women have many reasons to reject feminism” published in Contra Costra Times http://ncfm.org/2014/12/action/ncfm-member-jeanne-falla-response-to-some-women-have-many-reasons-to-reject-feminism-published-in-contra-costra-times/ http://ncfm.org/2014/12/action/ncfm-member-jeanne-falla-response-to-some-women-have-many-reasons-to-reject-feminism-published-in-contra-costra-times/#comments Fri, 05 Dec 2014 22:58:05 +0000 http://ncfm.org/?p=18176 men

NCFM Note: We are delighted to see this in the Wednesday 3, 2014 edition of the Contra Costa Times. Notice the letter above Jeanne’s is not only anti-MRA, it sounds downright hateful.  The irony is, things like this present a good opportunity to “sell” NCFM and show the public that we embrace both men and women in our pursuit of justice for all of us.  Thank you Jeanne for taking the time to write this wonderful letter and all the work you do…

 It has come time to advocate for men

The social movement that opened doors for women needs to open them for men, a point addressed in Esther Cepeda’s column, “Some women have many reasons to reject feminism.”

Too many separated fathers face legal and societal barriers that keep them from their kids, which are just as unfair as the ones that kept women from law school and medical school.

Also, important men’s issues, such as the educational achievement gap between boys and girls — a danger that threatens our economic future — get far less media airtime than women’s issues. It’s time to balance the playing field by advocating for men.

The National Coalition for Men, of which I am a member, is a nonprofit organization that opposes bias against men. Our members include men and women and our accomplishments range from diaper-changing stations in airport men’s restrooms to domestic violence shelters that serve both sexes.

It’s important to raise awareness about men’s issues and efforts to help improve the health and welfare of men in our families and community. You can find us at www.ncfm.org.

Jeanne Falla, Co-Organizer

National Coalition for Men (NCFM) NorCal Chapter

Bay Area Fathers Rights Support Group (BAFRSG)

Daughter of a Divorced Dad

http://www.contracostatimes.com/letters/ci_27052281/dec-3-letters-editor

national coalition for menIt won’t hurt… join us, join the National Coalition For Men.

The National Coalition For Men…it’s a good thing.

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NCFM Member Naomi Evans third letter to Washington legislators re paternity fraud reform legislation http://ncfm.org/2014/12/action/ncfm-member-naomi-evans-third-letter-to-washington-legislators-re-paternity-fraud-reform-legislation/ http://ncfm.org/2014/12/action/ncfm-member-naomi-evans-third-letter-to-washington-legislators-re-paternity-fraud-reform-legislation/#comments Fri, 05 Dec 2014 01:54:16 +0000 http://ncfm.org/?p=18154 paternity fraudDear Washington State Legislators,

My series of emails leading up to the beginning of the 2015 Legislature are intended to educate those of you who may be unaware of what Paternity Fraud is and how it is currently impacting Washington families.

Because of the current laws under the Uniform Parentage Act RCW 26.26 regarding paternity, and how it is established and maintained, many men and children have been cursed with lives of legal, emotional, and financial disparity. Under RCW 26.26.116 a child is “presumed” to be the legal child of a man if, at any time during the pregnancy and birth of the child, the man has been in either a domestic relationship with, or married to, the mother of that child. This presumption of paternity extends a full three hundred days after the marriage or domestic partnership is terminated (by death, annulment, dissolution, legal separation, or declaration of invalidity).

This particular statute has resulted in many varying situations in which men have fallen victim to Paternity Fraud. In a society rife with divorce and relationships consumed with promiscuity, it is no wonder that the presumption of paternity law has caused so much hardship for men and women alike.

In cases where a man and woman have physically separated, either waiting for a divorce or simply taking a “break” from their legal marriage, there are many cases of women becoming pregnant with another man’s child. Unfortunately, because of the current statute, these children born under these circumstances will legally become the responsibility of a non-biological father, and they will thereby be denied access to their true paternity. Either that, or they will become the focal point of extended legal battles within a family court system that has shown an increasing disposition toward unjust gender-biased practices.

Presumption of Paternity law has in fact caused detriment to many people unaware of its existence at the time of conception. Indeed, the average citizen, being unaware of parentage statutes (but who instead rely on their common sense), would believe a child belongs solely to the genetic parents and should not be “presumed” upon a man who is not the biological father. Most people caught up in legal situations such as these feel that this presumption of paternity has caused them undo legal and financial distress—distress that could have been prevented if law makers provided for common sense practices.

I have been given personal testimony from three particular families in Washington State that were negatively affected by Presumption of Paternity laws.

My first experience with this “presumption” law, that resulted in actual Paternity Fraud, was in conjunction with my first husband, who is also the father of my first-born son. In a previous marriage, my ex-husband fathered two children. Unbeknownst to him, the second child born during their marriage was the result of the woman having an affair with another man. This infidelity was not revealed to my ex-husband until the child was around eleven years old. By the time the truth of my ex’s “son” not being his genetic child was admitted, it was too late (per statute of limitations) to disestablish paternity of this child. And so, to date, my ex-husband remains legally and financially accountable for this child, even though the boy is now an adult.

After moving to Canada in 1996—she fled the United States to avoid being arrested for Welfare Fraud in Washington State—the mother went on to have three more children, each with a different father.

I have recently been told the story of a Kitsap County local woman who gave birth to her boyfriend’s child while her legal husband was in prison. This woman had procrastinated in obtaining a divorce from her imprisoned spouse and had begun dating another man before her divorce was finalized. After the birth of their daughter, the mother and her boyfriend (the biological father) were forced by the “presumption laws” to have the imprisoned husband sign documents to relinquish any claim to the child. Unfortunately the imprisoned man was not very compliant in signing those documents, which subsequently caused the mother and biological father even more unnecessary expenditure of time and money filing court proceedings in order to have their child’s paternity correctly adjudicated.

RCW 26.26.330 is a legislation that specifies the proceedings for rescission of acknowledgment or denial of paternity. Under this rule a man is given the earliest of two options to either challenge a previous acknowledgement or default judgment of paternity. These time frames are:

1) The date of the first hearing in a proceeding to which the man is a party before a court to adjudicate an issue relating to the child (which is some cases may be as soon as five days). Or,

2) Sixty days after the effective date of the acknowledgment or denial of paternity.

This statute has led to several men being unable to challenge or disestablish a false ruling of paternity owing to a court having established parentage through default judgments of which these men had not been properly made aware.

Many falsely “convicted” fathers have been forced to continue paying for non-biological children to which they were assigned paternity without properly being served court documents regarding such proceedings. Several of these men are, for example, men in the military who were serving tours of duty out of the United States while, at the same time, they were unknowingly being accused of fathering children not their own. Most men do not learn of these default judgments until several years after an official ruling, at which point time has “legally” expired for any challenge to, or disestablishment of, paternity.

Men—such as my friend and supporter of legislative reform Shawn West from Spokane, Washington—have, in recent years, been heavily impacted by these time limits and unjust practices commonplace in paternity rulings. In 1999, Shawn was falsely identified as a child’s father by an ex-girlfriend who refused to tell state officials the true biological father of her child. The disingenuous actions of a state run DNA facility, that withheld Shawn’s negative results of paternity until the day before his statute of limitations would expire, almost forced him into a default judgment of paternity. If it had not been for Shawn’s own knowledge of these laws, and his ability to afford an attorney to help fight his battle, he would certainly have been forced into the legal adoption of a child that was not his own.

More of Shawn’s story can be read at: http://thewestreport.wordpress.com

RCW 26.26.335 sets specific limits upon a man’s ability to challenge or disestablish paternity after the first 60 days given within RCW 26.26.330. This code states that a man may only challenge a previous ruling or adjudication of paternity on the basis of fraud, duress, or material mistake of fact (which is what paternity fraud usually is). This statute, however, may only be applied within four years after the acknowledgment or ruling of paternity has been filed with the vital statistics office. The statute also states that a man challenging an acknowledgement or ruling of paternity bears the burden of proof.

This last statute’s dictate is precisely how my husband Andrew’s ex-wife has gotten away with financially raping our family.

Back in 1999, when she declared her pregnancy, Andrew was falsely led to believe that he was the father of her child. The lies perpetuated by his ex-wife would not be discovered until the child was ten years old (when two separate DNA tests revealed a 0% chance of paternity). In 2009, at the time of discovering this new evidence, RCW 26.26.335 stipulated a two-year statute of limitations on challenging a prior ruling—even with evidence of fraud or material misrepresentation of fact. Thus my husband has continued to be a financial slave to his criminal ex-wife with the support of corrupt and unjust court rulings

The combination of unrealistic time limits, together with the state’s need to fund the welfare system, has produced many instances of injustice. Consider army veteran and Tacoma resident, Brandon Jones having to continue paying child support, even after having his parental rights stripped per court order, and even after the discovery that his seven-year-old child was not genetically his own. The child’s mother denied visitation rights to this man for too long (since 2003), and so, Brandon hired an attorney and fought to retain visitation with what he believed was his first born son. Only after he began to fight this woman’s parental alienation tactics did the mother come clean about her paternity fraud and only then did the mother agree to disestablish paternity. However, because she had been collecting welfare for herself and the child, the prosecuting attorney for the Washington Division of Child Support was legally allowed to step in and petition the court to strip any parental and visitation rights from Brandon. And this they did even as they obtained a continued order of child support to reimburse any collection of welfare by the mother!

Unfortunately, Brandon continues to pay child support for a child not genetically his, and for this reason, his own two natural sons are forced to go without living necessities that Brandon could otherwise afford if not for this continuation of fraud. For more on Brandon’s story please visit: https://www.facebook.com/notes/stop-paternity-fraud/why-i-am-doing-this/196799690342378

Last but not least is the issue of RCW 26.26.535 which, in its full context, affords an acting Judge the broad sweeping ability to deny the request for DNA testing (to determine or challenge paternity of a child) within court hearings. This law is essentially the “icing on the cake” of unjust statutes. It has been used to seal the fate of men either wrongly “convicted” of paternity or men denied their biological right to a child that has been stolen from them at birth. It is these laws that must be changed if justice is finally to prevail in cases of Paternity Fraud and/or wrongful denial of paternity to the true genetic fathers.

These afore mentioned men, woman, and their families are only a few representative examples of the sweeping injustices created through current legislation.

Laws are meant to protect innocent citizens and bring justice to victimized citizens, however, current parentage laws fail to expose the true criminals and fail to protect the innocent. Instead, these laws insure continuation of widespread fraud that does nothing but line the financial pockets of criminals and the State Division of Child Support.

We concerned and afflicted citizens simply ask our Legislators to do what is morally and judicially sound by passing paternity reform in the 2015 Washington State Legislature.

Yours Truly,

Naomi Evans- Bremerton (26th district)

For more information on our family’ story and paternity fraud information please visit www.survivingpaternityfraud2ndwife.blogspot.com

national coalition for menPaternity fraud is domestic violence.

Paternity fraud is a crime, treat it as such.

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NCFM Kenyan Laison, circumcision “Horrific Cultural Practice” http://ncfm.org/2014/12/activities/ncfm-kenyian-laison-circumcision-horrific-cultural-practice/ http://ncfm.org/2014/12/activities/ncfm-kenyian-laison-circumcision-horrific-cultural-practice/#comments Fri, 05 Dec 2014 01:09:50 +0000 http://ncfm.org/?p=18144 circumcisionHORRIFIC CULTURAL PRACTICE

Today, a friend of Intact Kenya attended a circumcision ceremony at Karethani Boarding primary school, Gatunga, Tharaka-North subcounty, Tharaka NITHI County, Kenya, where 59 boys were cut.

The ceremony was sponsored by Tharaka Women Welfare Organization.

As the boys, aged 11- 16 years, one by one, faced a ruthless scalpel, you could hear the freaking voices of the adults surrounding and accompanying the boys. In their talks, you could hear some say, “if one is told to re-undergo the exercise I can’t accept”. I heard another man say “Thank God circumcision is not like giving birth, where one has to visit maternity ward as many times as the number of the children desired.”

In the actual cutting, very few men could stare at the scalpel as it cuts a healthy, innocent skin of an innocent, helpless child. The exercise itself is freaking and scary and hardly can one keep staring at it. No matter how many people send their children to be circumcised, the whole ordeal is undesirable and the people don’t like it.

There is this boy who caught my attention, a young man between, 12 or 13 years of age. As the man with the scalpel approached him, first with a syringe, he could not hide his pain of the dangers ahead. In tears, he looked up to the father at least to rescue him, the father could do nothing, he knew it is the only right of passage for every Tharaka boy child, so in the mixture of sorrow and firmness, he encouraged the boy to keep strong and be a man. The boy turned to the man, who from this day he will be calling him his father, by the virtue of supporting him through the initiation ceremony, the man only told the boy to hold on not to embarrass him. The other part of the crowd was mocking and booing the boy down.

The boy had nobody to cry to or on, he was to undergo the barbaric chopping whether he liked it or not. He was to be held tight by his new father, biological father and some other few people who were around for him to be cut.

This episode reminded me of what I went through some 11 years ago. In the midst of my thoughts I wondered why God allowed men to undergo such a barbaric act. Is there any justification for cutting one’s intact foreskin which has no problem? Will our boys ever have freedom to choose what they want to do with their foreskin? I walked out of the place helpless and feeling something is wrong with our culture.

Tomorrow, I will be attending another circumcision ceremony where over 60 innocent boys are going to be chopped off their foreskin, some will rebel, but forced to undergo it, others will just believe it’s a right of passage just like birth or death and endure the pain, and disfigure their penises for the rest of their lives. It is sad!

Kennedy Owino

national coalition for menStop circumcision.

Circumcision is barbaric. Take a look…

https://images.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?fr2=piv-web&hsimp=yhs-001&hspart=mozilla&p=botched+circumcision&.bcrumb=G7sMSNg6jFV&save=0

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NCFM wishes for you and yours to have the best Thanksgiving possible http://ncfm.org/2014/11/news/uncategorized/ncfm-wishes-for-you-and-yours-to-have-the-best-thanksgiving-possible/ http://ncfm.org/2014/11/news/uncategorized/ncfm-wishes-for-you-and-yours-to-have-the-best-thanksgiving-possible/#comments Thu, 27 Nov 2014 15:37:12 +0000 http://ncfm.org/?p=18134 ThanksgivingI, like you, have received several emails wishing us and ours a warm and happy Thanksgiving. I wish that of us as well, but my thoughts wonder to things not so Norman Rockwell.

Yesterday, I took a call from a 36-year-old father of three. He was crying, distraught, drained of hope. He has primary custody of the children and a restraining order against the mother. The mother routinely violates the restraining order. Neither the court nor police do anything about her criminal behavior. They will not arrest her, charge her with contempt, or intervene in anyway, except police have told her to leave when they caught her in the act. She calls our father of three 10, 20, 30 times or more a day, even when he’s at work. She stalks him, follows him, and berates him screaming at the top of her lungs. He is a wreck, missing work, may soon lose his job, cannot sleep, and headed for clinical depression.

He told me a familiar story about a friend, his friend, who lives just down the street. His friend sent his children a message on Facebook. The friend also had a restraining order, but it was against him. He was arrested, criminally charged and convicted of violating his restraining order. He is in jail. His arresting officers were two of the same officers who on numerous occasions cautioned and chased away the mentally unstable and potentially dangerous mother of our 36-year-old father of three. She is a character disordered histrionic with a history of incomprehensible outbursts often resulting in throwing things and more than once attacking our father of three with a steak knife, for which she has never been charged. Then there’s the children…

One “best wishes on Thanksgiving” year-end appeal for money says, “As we head into this holiday week, we wanted to take a moment and send our thanks to all of our subscribers, supporters, and volunteers. We are successful because you take the time to hear about our initiatives, share them with friends and family, and take action.”

Such successes haven’t done much for our father of three or his friend sitting in jail. Neither of them or their children will be thinking initiatives, sharing with friends, or taking action.

Many organizations in our line of work don’t pick up the phone, let alone talk to distraught men and women. We do. We pick up the phone several times a day. We talk and help distraught men and women all the time, and have for decades. Everyone at NCFM is a volunteer. We have no paid staff. It has been that way since our beginning in 1977. We are the oldest and most productive 800 lb. gorilla on the men’s human right issues block.

We may not be the most polished group, but NCFM is the only organization of its kind that historically and continuously causes significant changes. NCFM facilitated the national, if not international, movement to install diaper-changing tables for fathers. We have won landmark court cases against businesses and nonprofit organizations discriminating against men because of their sex. Moreover, we have helped thousands of men, their families, and women who love them.

If you think that’s important please consider including us in your holiday giving. Take a minute and go to http://ncfm.org/lead-with-us/join-ncfm/  and contribute. The smallest contribution goes a long way. Make a tax-deductible donation with us rather than paying the IRS to help the government create more programs hurtful to men and their families; or, send a check to NCFM, 932 C Street, Suite B, San Diego, CA 92101.

In addition, thank you for helping us help others make the world a better place for all of us. Maybe there really is a Norman Rockwell holiday for all of us someday, even our father of three, his children, their mother, and his friend having turkey supper in jail.

Best Wishes to You and Yours,

Harry Crouch

President, NCFM

national coalition for menEven if you find yourself without family on this Thanksgiving you are not forgotten. You are in our hearts and thoughts, you are not really alone, you have us, and we care.

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