I believe that our challenge (and the challenge for all men of our time) is to find a way to step out into the world, to confront the masculophobia, and to work toward ending it - while at the same time doing so from a place of groundedness, love, and strength. That is a tremendous challenge. I claim that the majority of men fail to even understand that without confronting society in general (and both men and women in particular) about masculophobia, men will never complete the process of "reclaiming the sacred masculine for our time" (as the ManKind Project states).

I would even go so far as to say that unless and until we do confront masculophobia, society will continue to degenerate, families will suffer, crime will increase, prison populations will grow, and society will rot and decay. The economic illness and decay that befell communist countries that followed economic Marxism will find a social counterpart in the social illness and decay of those countries which are currently following the edicts of cultural Marxism. [For an excellent article on Political Correctness, Feminism, and Cultural Marxism, see "Political Correctness Poisons Free Speech", by William S. Lind, director of the Center for Cultural Conservatism. I am not a conservative, but I still found this to be an excellent article. It was published in the Op-Ed section of the Minnesota Daily, Feb. 2, 1999. It may be posted on the internet]

Doing the inner work we need to do is one part of our work as men (and an indispensable part). The other part is holding women, men, and society accountable for the toxic masculophobia of the present day. I include men in this indictment, because men are every bit as responsible as women for creating and propagating masculophobia in today's world. The female institution of subordinating the needs and nature of men to those of women, while promoting special entitlements, privileges and protections for women is Feminism (though feminists would deny that that is what feminism is about). But men have their own institution: Chivalry is the male institution that subordinates the needs and nature of men in favor of those of women, while promoting special entitlements, privileges and protections for women.

So women are no more (or less) to "blame" (if blame we must) for masculophobia. Yet, confronting men about this is a lot easier for us than confronting women. This is where most men quail in terror. I believe that the Shame of Maleness (as warrior elder Roy Schenk calls it) is what causes this primal fear in men - the fear of confronting a woman, or women in general, and holding them accountable for their destructive behaviours.

If the reader has not already done so, I cannot convey how valuable I think it would be for him to purchase a copy of Men Healing Shame, co-edited by Roy Schenk and John Everingham. This is the best source of support any man can get for dealing with male shame. It is a phenomenal book that will help men to begin healing the shame of maleness.

And this brings me to why, in my judgment, men who protest masculophobia receive so much resistance, and sometimes hostility, especially from other men. We must not be discouraged by this response from men. Rather, we must understand it. Drawing attention to masculophobia pokes a finger into the sore wound of male shame, and provokes men's fear of confronting women. It is a shame-based response, in my judgment, and it is natural for men who have done some personal growth work, but who have not yet begun to acknowledge or deal with their shame of maleness.

Men who have done no inner work at all are apt to ignore the whole thing. They'll just blow it off. They are the guys who aren't even aware of masculophobia, and couldn't care less if it hit them in the face. I would say that the vast majority of American men are at this place. Many of these men are off practising their chivalry and trying to get along with women on women's terms.

But the men who do react, and react with irritation and anger, at the idea of confronting women and men about masculophobia, are among those who have begun to be aware of their feelings. Yet, they have not become aware of their male shame. The reason they react defensively at all is that on some level they have touched the wounds of maleness. Yet, they are still in the denial stage. That is the first stage, the beginning, of inner work on male shame. I judge that this is where some men in America, as well as most of the men who are members of the Nation of Men, the Mankind Project, and other mythopoetic organizations, the PromiseKeepers, and feminist men's organizations, are hiding. This group accounts for large numbers of men, but still a minority of men in America. So these men are aware of feelings, but are in denial and have not begun the inner work dealing with male shame.

Interestingly, parallel to this first stage is a behaviour found among a very small fraction of men, and perhaps typical of many men in the men's and fathers' rights movement. That is, a few men acknowledge that through masculophobia women and men are destroying family and society - and they are very angry about it. Unfortunately they do not own the anger. Instead these men project it outward and see themselves as victims of masculophobia, feminism, the family court, etc. They are filled with self-righteous anger. These men want to change the world around them, but do not see that their anger is as much about their own wounds as it is about the world they are trying to change. These men, like those above, are in denial. Although these two groups of men seem very different, in many ways they are the same. They are both in denial about their wounds of maleness. The former group deals with its shame by identifying with the "oppressor", as it were, the latter by vilifying her. Now, although the latter group accounts for few men in America at large, I would say they account for the majority of the men involved in men's and fathers' rights organizations. I judge that the majority of men in the National Coalition of Free Men, the National Congress for Fathers and Children, the Men's Defense Association, and so on, are in this place.

As we, as men, do begin the process of recovery from male shame, the next stage is one of direct awareness of the shame. It is accompanied by intense emotion: pain, hurt, anger, rage, etc. Most of those men that I have met in the men's movement who have managed to get past the denial stage are in the pain stage. We are in touch with the wounds caused by masculophobia, and we are struggling to heal them. But we are far from having found peace with it. We are daily living with our awareness and pain of the shame of maleness, and simultaneously struggling not to project our anger and pain out onto the rest of world. I have noticed that there are more of these men in the ManKind Project and in the National Coalition of Free Men than in any other of the mythopoetic or men's rights organizations. In fact, almost all of the men that I know who are in this stage are members of both the NCFM and the MKP.

I believe that part of our healing process will be the inner work to heal the shame. The other part will require stepping out into the world and saying "No more." We must not tolerate the shaming of men and masculinity anymore. We must resist, and wage a non-violent spiritual and political war against masculophobia, as Mahatma Gandhi waged a non-violent spiritual and political war against racial oppression - that is, from a place of love and inner peace. Without acknowledging the important work that must be done on these two aspects in tandem, I personally doubt that we will make much progress in the men's movement, or in our own individual lives.

That is not to say, however, that we must balance these two sides immediately, and attain harmonious perfection before we act. Regardless of the stage of healing we are at, in this our struggle, we will not be perfect. We will be wounded men struggling to heal. Many men will not be good at doing the inner work, they will be better at doing the outer work - they will see men's inner work as irrelevant or some kind of wussy, tree-hugging, activity; this will be because of their fear of exploring their woundedness. Conversely, many other men will not be good at doing the outer work - they will misconstrue men's outer work as toxic, angry, woman-bashing; this will be because of their terror in experiencing women's scorn and shaming.

But if we work, and work together, if we engage in this struggle and fight the good fight, we will move through our personal feelings of sadness and grief, we will begin seeing changes in society. In the end, there will be peace and loving acceptance by us of society and by society of us. Both will have changed, both will be healed.

So it will be a challenge for us, and this brings me back full circle to my original point:

I believe that our challenge (and the challenge for all men of our time) is to find a way to step out into the world, confront the masculophobia, and work towards ending it, while at the same time doing the inner work we need to do to heal our shame of maleness, so that in our war against masculophobia, we will be coming from a place of groundedness, love, and strength.

As men, it is our responsibility, our duty, our privilege and our mandate to rise up to this challenge. Only then will be averted the perilous headlong flight of our culture into a nazi-like gendercide. Only then will we have reclaimed the sacred masculine for our time. And only then will our grandsons and granddaughters be able to inherit a legacy of true equality, rich family life, and personal freedom - a life free of shame.