Divorce Suggested......Reading List

2)- Braver, Sanford, PhD., and O'Connell, Diane, PhD. DIVORCED DADS: SHATTERING THE MYTHS: THE SURPRISING TRUTHS ABOUT FATHERS, CHILDREN AND DIVORCE (Penguin Putnam, NY, 1998) This book by Sanford Braver, PhD., and Diane O'Connellis, PhD., is the latest book to become all the rage among divorced father's groups. The reason is because this is the first work put out by a major publisher to go head-to-head with major policy makers, such as law makers and judges. It is written by two research oriented academics. They are NOT advocates for men and they are not attorneys. This is NOT a self help book, like the ones listed above. Nevertheless, it can be used for constructing arguments in legal briefs. IT IS a work of empirical research dedicated to getting at the truth within our culture. Definitely good reading for the general public. And definitely good reading for divorcing dads who need to know how good they really are. Some facts: Most divorced fathers don't "walk out." At least two-thirds of the time, the mother is not only the one who files for divorce but the one who wants out of the marriage. FACT: It is not true that, once divorced, fathers are likely to desert their children emotionally and financially. Most fathers who are steadily employed consistently pay child support. FACT: The tax code favors the single custodial parent. FACT: There are some financial motives that make divorce attractive to some women.

3)- Leving, Jeffery; Dachman, Kenneth A., FATHER'S RIGHTS: HARD-HITTING & FAIR ADVICE FOR EVERY FATHER INVOLVED IN A CUSTODY DISPUTE (Harpercollins, 1997). - Jeffery Leving is a veteran attorney of 25 years who has specialized in father's rights in divorce. This book offers advice in the following areas: Finding empathetic attorneys, avoiding unhealthy custody arrangements, protecting the child-parent relationship, and remaining financially solvent. Included is advice on how to demonstrate parental competence when falsely accused of abuse. Offers step-by-step council and a road map through the complex terrain of family law. Possible legal strategies are discussed for ending a case as equitably as possible. Discusses what to do when all else fails: "Going to war". Not simply a legal primer, Fathers' Rights was written with psychologist, Kenneth A. Dachman, who analyzes a man's stress levels and pinpoints when counseling may be required as well as ways to rebuild the relationship with a child after the divorce is final.

4)- Araham, Jed H., FROM COURTSHIP TO COURTROOM: WHAT DIVORCE LAW IS DOING TO MARRIAGE (Bloch Publishing Company, NY., 1999). This riveting, fast-paced book is concerned about the future of marriage. Author Jed H. Abraham shows why many men are hesitant to marry, why women start most divorces, and why their children are so deeply troubled. When the average marriage begins to pale, and the parents contemplate divorce, the mother is welcomed by the law with an array of incentives to go ahead with it. These incentives include custody of the children, child support, alimony, and a significant share of her husband's property, even when the breakdown of the marriage is her fault. Conversely, a father can expect to come out of divorce with corresponding losses. MEN! Be forewarned!

5)- Richmond, Doug, HOW TO DISAPPEAR COMPLETELY AND NEVER BE FOUND, (Paladin Press, Boulder, CO., 1994). Author: Doug Richmond. For most, the thought of changing names and jobs, cutting all ties and escaping to a tropical paradise is just a tantalizing daydream. This book will help you translate your dreams into action, as thousands of others have! Contains practical advice on planning a disappearance, getting money and a foolproof ID, who will start looking for you and the methods they will use and how to cope in your new environment under your new identity.

6)- Serge, Prengel, STILL A DAD: THE DIVORCED FATHER'S JOURNEY (Mission Creative Energy, Inc., 27 West 24th Street, NY, NY 10010; Year 1999). "Even when there is no physical violence, the adversarial system fosters a climate of all-out war in which the end justifies the means." Dear readers of this web site, if you don't get anything else, take this statement home with you. It is something that almost everyone familiar with divorce in America has come to know, but now it's official. You've read it from an expert and an advocate for change. But, Prengel's book is not an angry one. It makes good reading for both men and women. It focuses on one man's journey through the divorce process and into maturity as a father and human being. It is a, "must read", for those interested in the human experience. Mr. Prengel is a member of the Children's Rights Council of New York City.

7)- Brott, Armin; and Parke, Ross, THROWAWAY DADS: THE MYTHS AND BARRIRES THAT KEEP MEN FROM BEING THE FATHERS THEY WANT TO BE (Houghton Mifflin Co, NY, 1998) - Armin Brott and Ross Parke explode these myths and examine other obstacles that prohibit fathers from having deep relationships with their children, thereby hurting children and our society as a whole. They look at the dubious achievements of both the men's and women's movements in reevaluating the roles of both sexes, and discuss actions people of each gender can take to counteract the damage. They also dissect ways that corporations have limited fathers' roles, and detail how companies can be more "father friendly." Furthermore, they suggest steps in addition to the Family and Medical Leave Act that our government can take to ensure that dads are allowed to play an active role in raising their children, and to encourage them to do so.

8)- Brennan, Carleen and Brennan, Michael, Esq., CUSTODY FOR FATHERS: A PRACTICAL GUIDE THROUGH THE COMBAT ZONE OF A BRUTAL CUSTODY BATTLE, (1994, Brennan Publishing, 250 East 17th Street, Costa Mesa, CA 92627). Both authors are attorneys. This book is full of the kind of information you need to be able to go into court with or without a lawyer. In fact we recommend that you arm yourself with the information in this book before trusting a lawyer. Learn winning strategies, learn how to deal with judges, master the skills of testifying. Among the few books that NCFM recommends on divorce, this is one of them.

9)- Covington, Lee, HOW TO DUMP YOUR WIFE (Fender Publishing Company, Seattle, WA, 1996). This is a self help book that is packed with humor and advice. In one section the book approaches the subject of how to hide assets. This work is concerned with how to win in divorce.

10)- Tong, Dean, ASHES TO ASHES ...FAMILIES TO DUST: FALSE ACCUSATIONS OF CHILD ABUSE, A ROADMAP FOR SURVIVORS (FamRights Press, Tampa, FL, 1997), This is a, "must read," by author Dean Tong, a nationally recognized expert on false allegations of child sexual abuse arising out of divorce. Ashes To Ashes is the handbook for those unjustly accused of child abuse. Packed with "dos and don'ts", defense flow charts, website addresses, support groups, attorney listings, and case law, it will help not only the accused layman, but also the lawyer who is playing the "let's wait and see what happens game".

11)- Tong, Dean, DON'T BLAME ME DADDY, (Hampton Rhodes Publishing Company, call (800) 431-1579). This book is aimed at those who have been falsely accused of child molestation during a divorce. It provides case histories, suggestions on what to do to protect yourself and resources for help. If this is happening to you, you should also look at our resources under "false accusation" on our Related Links page. NOTE: The work mentioned to the left (Ashes To Ashes) will have more updated information.