This meme links to a fictional story about the serious consequences of paternity fraud, but it’s all based on fact. Naomi’s story is true life, and happening now.
By NCFM
NCFM NOTE: This article is an introduction to Wonder Woman Naomi Evans and her crusade for paternity fraud reform legislation in the state of Washington. It’s her story. Then there’s her saga, an eight part series shared through this website and associated NCFM social media venues. Each week Naomi will send a new letter to all state legislators in Washington to garner and secure support for the reform legislation. Washington’s legislative session begins in January and is short. In odd-numbered years, the State Legislature meets for 105 days to hash out the budget. In even-numbered years the legislature only meets for 60 days. There are many heroic stories of one person changing the nature of things in the best interests of all of us. Here’s another one. If you can help Naomi, please do, especially if you live or have influence in the state of Washington. We would appreciate it if you would link to this story and the eight articles in the series as soon as they are posted. Please share the links with as many as you can to help build momentum for this legislative effort.
Thank you.
Harry Crouch, President, NCFM
Wonder Woman Seeks Justice for Washington Paternity Fraud Victims
By Naomi Evans
Ok so I’m not really “Wonder Woman;” but if you are reading this far, then my title made its point in getting your attention and that is all I need….
So who am I really? Well I guess I’m just another girl who grew up in the 80’s hoping someday too be like our favorite female superhero while running around my families low income apartment wearing my beloved red, white and blue underwear, a makeshift blanket cape and duct tape tightly wrapped around my wrists as I thwarted off imaginary bad guys. Only thirty years down the road did I fully realize that Wonder Woman’s super powers would not be mine. But, thankfully, god had graced me with the ability to read, write and run my mouth, which is why I am where I am today.
My name is Naomi Evans; I am the 36-year-old mother of three who married her best friend Andrew, nearly eleven years ago. I’m not much to be honest… I say that most people either love me or hate me for my passionate views and my constant preaching to people. But I have come to terms with that, for the most part. I am loudmouthed…I cuss, drink too much wine, still believe in the constitution, and I like hanging out with the guys more than gossip-bitching with catty woman. In fact, I would say I love men in general for all of their flaws.
Honestly I have more reasons than most women to hate men. I was sexually abused by my first step father, physically and emotionally abused by my real father, and I’ve had too many dead-end relationships with men who cheated on me, were physically abusive or just plain losers. But somehow I find myself sympathetic to men’s rights—especially when it comes to the absurd biases shown men in family court. I know many men who are fabulous fathers and let’s face it ladies… we second wives know more than most, that they need our help. The prejudices men are facing today are not just men’s issues, but are family issues, which include women. For these reasons, I chose to begin my journey to fight for justice for fathers by supporting legislation that supports men who’ve been victimized by Paternity Fraud.
As I mentioned before, I married my husband almost eleven years ago. At the beginning of our relationship, he had just managed to win primary custody of his first daughter. For the next five years, Andrew and I went on to raise this child together. Sadly, they were honestly the worst five years of my life! Why? Because of the emotional, financial and legal hell created by his ex-wife as she perpetuated one legal battle after another in her attempts to alienate this child from our family and to regain primary custody. It was after these five years that we both made the decision to return this child to her mother in hopes of finding some kind of livable peace for ourselves and our other three children.
This transfer of custody back to the mother took place in the spring of 2009 when the child was 10 years old. Shortly after turning over custody we decided to do a DNA test on this child. We made that decision for reasons I am not going to go into in this article, however, if you would like to know more about those details please feel free to read my blog posts at http://survivingpaternityfraud2ndwife.blogspot.com/2014/11/wonder-woman-seeks-justice-for.html
After getting the DNA test results back—test results that showed 0% chance of paternity—my husband and I sought legal advice from several attorneys, all of whom came back with the same bad news. There was literally nothing that could be done to remedy the mother’s false accusation of paternity. At the time, there was a 2-year statute of limitations in Washington State that thwarted all efforts to challenge or disestablish paternity, even with a DNA test. None of these attorneys would touch the subject with “a ten foot pole”—not even at the Supreme Court level. So I decided to contact my local Senator and beg him to help us, but unfortunately after a month of writing emails (and only managing to speak with this gentleman once), I realized that he was not interested in changing the laws to benefit our family, so I gave up.
We tried to live our lives as normal as possible for the next several years. We moved from Sequim to Bremerton where we bought our first home. And we continued to do our best to work with my husband’s vindictive and irrational ex-wife to maintain visitation of the child that my husband still loved as his own. The child’s mother continued to drag us through court as often as possible to increase child support. And each time she would work fewer hours to reduce her own financial obligation. Of course the court system was rigged to favor women, including women such as her. After all, it was they who’d taught her it was acceptable to lie. It was through the court-supported paternity fraud system that she got away with devastating my husband’s financial and emotional livelihood. With the court system itself on her side, why would she be afraid to continue that behavior?
Visitation with the child was slowly dwindling down to nothing because of the mother’s parental alienation tactics.
Eventually, we could no longer take the abuse and constant fighting. The last visit we had with this child was in April 2012, after which the child began refusing to visit. At that point we decided to live our lives to the fullest in appreciation of what we did have… three wonderful kids, a home, and the hope that, after the child turned 18 years old, we might have a life without being persecuted by her mother.
Life went on as it always does, but one fateful day in July of 2013 I decided to search the internet for any possible new paternity legislation in Washington State, and that is when I got my big break. There, uncovered by my search, was a legislative house bill that had been sponsored by Representative Maureen Walsh in the 2012 legislative session. Only the bill, as I soon found out, had failed to be supported by enough others and had unfortunately died before it ever received its first hearing before committee.
For the next week I made repeated phone calls and emails to Representative Walsh’s office not realizing that legislators were hard to come by during summer months. However, I eventually made contact with her assistant who was able to tell me more about this failed bill. I continued to reach out to Ms. Walsh and relayed our family’s story of Paternity Fraud along with my own plea for her reintroduction of the bill in 2014, which she thankfully agreed to do.
I was told that the best way to pass legislation was to garner the support of someone in both the House and the Senate who would run cloned bills (also termed “companion bills”), so that both sides of the Legislature could vote through a bill instead of the slower process of passing one then the other. So I worked hard for the next seven months reaching out to dozens of law makers across my state trying to get someone to run the companion bill in the Senate. Although I was ignored for many months—and at times felt that slitting my wrists would be easier than to continue being blown off by these people—I stuck with it and eventually was told in late December that my own 26th district Senator Jan Angel had agreed to run the companion bill.
I was ecstatic to say the least. Here I was thinking I was home free and that certainly the laws would be changed and we would soon be free from the injustice of Paternity Fraud… Boy was I deluded!
Soon after Senator Jan Angel’s commitment to running the Senate companion bill, I made the decision to “run my mouth” (as Representative Walsh would later say to me via email). In early January 2014 just before the beginning of the Legislative session, I wrote what could be called a “scathing” email in which I confronted an unpopular subject. I was aware of it, and had attempted to avoid it. And then one particular senator’s assistant pointed out to me (ever so bluntly), the reality is that many law makers would not support of such legislation for fear of potential blow back from the Division of Child Support. What they fear is the loss of the money they receive from Title IV part d federal incentive money to collect child support and establish paternity.
Again, I will not go into detail about this email (please refer to my blog for an exact copy of said “scathing” letter); however, shortly after sending this email, I received a message from Rep. Walsh saying that she would no longer be sponsoring the Paternity Bill within the House because I had insulted her co-workers and she felt that I had diminished support for such legislation.
Yes…that’s me, verbal diarrhea with no politically correct filter and a laptop at my fingertips!
To be honest, I went through my own feelings of guilt for a short while, until I realized that I have every right to call these Legislators out on their unjust practices of making laws that only benefit the State’s pocket book. Even if Ms. Walsh dropped out of the race, I was determined to do things my way, no matter who I pissed off—and believe me, she was not the first nor was she the last of the people in high places to slink away from the waves I created in my fight for justice.
Senator Angel continued to pursue the Paternity Bill, even after reading my email. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
It was a long and stressful fight after the first Senate Committee hearing on January 20, 2014 in which Andrew and I, along with two other gentlemen, testified in support of the bill. Ironically the only opposition to Jan’s SB 5997 came from two attorneys who repeated the same lame argument we have all heard in family court… “Best Interest of the Child”. After the initial Committee hearing I sent several emails to these members explaining how the proposed bill would work in cooperation with existing laws. I also hoped to explain how NOT “in the Best Interest of the Child” the current laws were. It felt like forever and a day before this Justice Committee finally voted to pass the legislation through to the Rules Committee. Of course that Committee had to be pressured to send the bill to the floor via multiple harassing emails from myself (along with friends, family and other supporters). The bill eventually made its way to the Senate for a vote to be held by February 19, 2014. Unfortunately, however, that is where the bill was officially allowed to die. Given a mere 60-day legislative session, there wasn’t time enough for a House vote.
After the death of this legislation, I was pretty depressed, and at one point I thought I would never again pursue the matter. But, after a few months of rest, in which I wrote a book detailing the last ten years of my family’s life surviving Paternity Fraud, I decided to ask Jan Angel if she was interested in running the bill again this coming year. To my delight Senator Angel was completely on board with this and has agreed to run SB 5997 again in 2015!
Last year’s fight to gain our freedom taught me many things. Thankfully, it has led me to many people and organizations supportive of this legislation. I have also garnered the support of one other 26th district Representative, Michelle Caldier, who, was just elected. I am now heading down another year-long path fighting for Paternity reform in the state of Washington.
I don’t kid myself that it will be easy, but I keep telling myself that it will be worth it. I think every day about my two boys and how I would never want them to face the reality that their father has had to deal with. I do not want my son’s believing that a woman cannot be trusted. I don’t want my boys fearing that a woman who says she loves them is apt to be lying and manipulating. I do not want to look into the eyes of any future grandchildren and wonder if they are truly mine or some “milk man’s” child. In fact, I do not want to see any man in the world have to face these issues… but I am only one woman with one very loud mouth.
We fighters for justice…. We “Wonder Women” and “Super Men” need more support from people out there sitting at their computer just reading about this stuff but never voicing their concerns. Benjamin Franklin said: “Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are.”
I would like to personally challenge all of you to think about this issue as if it was your own—because it very well could be. Even if you are a woman, think about how it would affect your life if you suddenly found one of your children (or your brothers or friends) living in a state of financial slavery to a criminal woman and a government who supports her crimes for the sake of their own coffers.
It matters not if you live in Washington State or in Cambodia; anyone, from anywhere has the ability and the responsibility to fight for what is right and just. Anyone willing to or interested in supporting this legislation may contact me personally at nlevans88 @ yahoo.com (remove spaces on either side of “@”). I am always available to educate people and to collaborate with supporters in passing this paramount legislation.
The National Coalition for Men has graciously agreed to help support Washington Paternity reform. So I would like to thank them publicly for all of their continued work on this, and on all the other gender equality issues that they champion.
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Please remember, paternity fraud satisfies definitions of child abuse and domestic violence. Why? Because it is.
Paternity fraud is wrong.
3 Responses to NCFM Member Naomi Evans, “Wonder Woman Seeks Justice for Washington Paternity Fraud Victims”
dejure on November 8, 2014 at 8:08 AM
I have harped on this numerous times, but will say it again and again: In addition to addressing matters like this via legislative actions, individuals need to take the matters outside the biased family courts by commencing simple law suites against mothers who damage relationships and destroy lives.
While issued addressed in a law suit may also be addressed by family courts, they lack jurisdiction to hear damage claims, which can be financial, emotional, in addition to punitive judgements.
Naomi Evans on November 8, 2014 at 6:42 PM
-dejure- I agree with you completely…however, I would like to say that people such as our family simply cannot afford to hire an attorney nor do we have the knowledge of civil law needed to successfully fight in court for “damages and emotional hardship”. We are so financially raped by the amount of child support paid that we have to represent ourselves in family court… I hope someday after this legislation and the end of paying this woman “through the nose” that we may be able to afford such litigation, but we must also weigh the facts that she will never have the financial means to repay what she has robbed us, and if we chose to pay a crooked attorney we would be losing more money that could care for our natural children and I believe it best to change these laws for all and to let go of the small potential of any monetary “pay back” that we will never get even if it was court ordered. Instead, I will wear a shirt to court on the final day of disestablishment of paternity that says in the great words of my Seahawks player Richard Sherman “You mad bro?” … I will have the last laugh!
Shawn West on November 11, 2014 at 10:09 PM
Agree Dejure. However in Washington State there is a blanket over this type of appeal or claim. The Bill being proposed for the 2014-15 legislate session would give citizens here a (2) year window as grounds for that type of appeal
