False Accusations

January 11, 2009
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False accusations False accusations of sexual assault are rape of a different color.

Almost every month we read of another man freed from prison after years of incarceration because the false accusations that sent them to prison were proven false.  Even if there is no conviction, a false allegation of rape can emotionally, socially, and economically destroy a person.  False accusations of rape are a form of psychological rape that is not included in the traditional definition of “rape.”  And false accusations are not studied enough because it’s politically incorrect to talk about. Meanwhile the names of the accusers are often protected while the names of the accused are not.  False accusations are hard to measure and there is not much available research, but the existing research shows the problem is much more common than we are told.  For example:

Some studies represent false accusations are 50% of allegations examined.

According to an expert quoted in the CBC News Story Below, “for a four-year period from 2003-2007, 31 per cent of sexual assault claims that Ottawa Police investigated were dismissed as unfounded — that is, they never happened — as opposed to unsubstantiated, where there isn’t enough evidence to follow the case.”

The claim that only 2% of rape accusations are false is totally unfounded and is purportedly based on FBI crime data (though we have yet to see this confirmed), and crime data is never a reliable source to project upon the population as a whole, as compared to empirical research.  But no matter what the numbers are, there is no excuse for the lack of attention to the problem.  Falsely accused persons are victims too, and to deny or downplay the experiences of those victims is an hypocritical form of victim-blaming.

Much more attention and research is needed in this area.   False accusers should be prosecuted (they rarely are) and face same punishment their accused could receive.  And the names of the accused should be protected as much as the names of the accusers.  For more, see The False Rape Society. http://falserapesociety.blogspot.com/

We should give men charged with rape anonymity and like the rare cases above charge their accusers and release the women’s names to protect the public.

False accusations of rape and sexual assault are very hard to measure. But the research ranges from about 9% up to 60%. Most likely it is somewhere in between and probably varies by location, time, and context.

According to the FBI (link removed, the page no longer exists: www.fbi.gov/…/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/1996/96sec2.pdf), “The ‘unfounded’ rate, or percentage of complaints determined through investigation to be false, is higher for forcible rape than for any other Index crime. Eight percent of forcible rape complaints in 1996 were “unfounded,” while the average for all Index crimes was 2 percent.

But that figure is very conservative. It does not include false claims made to non-police entities like universities, or false claims that were never proven false and only get classified as “unsubstantiated.”

In a nine-year study of 109 rapes reported to the police in a Midwestern city, Purdue sociologist Eugene J. Kanin reported that in 41% of the cases the complainants eventually admitted that no rape had occurred. In a follow-up study of rape claims filed over a three-year period at two large Midwestern universities, Kanin found that of 64 rape cases, 50% turned out to be false. Among the false charges, 53% of the women admitted they filed the false claim as an alibi. Kanin, EJ, Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol. 23, No. 1, 1994.

Dr. Kanin had previously been praised by feminists for his research on the frequency of rape. But his research on false accusations received very little attention.

study in India found 18% of rape accusations are false and are often “coached.”

In a study by the U.S. Air Force, about one-forth of rape accusers recanted just before taking a lie detector test or after failing one.  Further research found 60% of the accusations were false.  The most common reasons given were spite or revenge, feelings of guilt or shame, or to cover up an affair.  McDowell, Charles P., Ph.D. “False Allegations.” Forensic Science Digest, (publication of the U.S. Air Force Office of Special Investigations), Vol. 11, No. 4 (December 1985), p. 64. (see Center for Military Readiness article “Sex, Lies, and Rape” for an excellent discussion of false accusations).

According University of Ottawa Criminal Lawyer Blane Crew, “… for a four-year period from 2003-2007, 31 per cent of sexual assault claims that Ottawa Police investigated were dismissed as unfounded — that is, they never happened — as opposed to unsubstantiated, where there isn’t enough evidence to follow the case. ”

Moreover, a 1996 Department of Justice report shows that, “…in about 25% of the sexual assault cases referred to the FBI, the primary suspect has been excluded by forensic DNA testing. It should be noted that rape involves a forcible and non-consensual act, and a DNA match alone does not prove that rape occurred. So the 25% figure substantially underestimates the true extent of false allegations.   Connors E, Lundregan T, Miller N, McEwen T. Convicted by juries, exonerated by science: Case studies in the use of DNA evidence to prove innocence after trial, June 1996.

The myth that only two percent of rape accusations are false, often falsely attributed to FBI data, is not credible and has been debunked.  Greer, The Truth Behind Legal Dominance Feminism’s ‘Two Percent False Rape Claim’ Figure, 33 Loyola of Los Angeles Law Review 947.

Falsely accused men are disproportionately African-American men. Innocence Project: Facts on post-conviction DNA exoneration.

Feminist groups not only downplay the statistical reality of false accusations but have been eroding the due process rights of the accused especially on college campuses, such as by lowering the standard of proof to a mere preponderance of evidence, removing the right to challenge the accuser, and placing the decision in the hands of college administrators who will essentially wind up being very biased kangaroo court type “hearings.”

Many college men are now suing their colleges for kicking them out without a proper hearing. UPDATED: List of Lawsuits Against Colleges and Universities Alleging Due Process Violations in Adjudicating Sexual Assault Also see: NCFM Carolinas and AVoiceforMaleStudents websites for comprehensive information.

There is more of a false accusation culture than “rape culture” on campuses. The Duke Lacrosse players were kicked off their team, vilified, and mobbed at their homes before there ever any hearing.   They were lucky to have had enough money behind them to hire good attorneys. Most men do not. Brian Banks spent years in jail before his accuser admitted no rape occurred. These stories are the tip of the iceberg.

 Here are just a few sample stories about false accusations:

Here are just a few sample stories about false accusations:

Three years in prison for framing innocent man.

Four young men traumatized by false rape accusations.

Man released on rape charge after 22 years in prison.

6 falsely accused young men rescued by video of orgy directed by accuser.

Female rapists sentenced for rape and false accusation. And, her name was not released to the press!

Women falsely claims rape to justify lover’s attack on ex boyfriend.

17 year old boy released after false rape accusation.

Innocent man falsely accused of rape to win back lover.

U.K. judge jails “skillful actress” who falsely accused man of rape.

Four young men traumatized by false rape accusations.

Law school graduate convicted of found guilty of falsely accusing ex boyfriend of rape.

6 falsely accused young men rescued by video of orgy directed by accuser.

Innocent man falsely accused of rape to win back lover.

The Brian Banks story.

U.K. judge jails “skillful actress” who falsely accused man of rape.

No matter what the numbers are, there is no excuse for the lack of attention to the problem.  Falsely accused persons are victims too, and to deny or downplay the experiences of those victims is a hypocritical form of victim-blaming.

Much more attention and research is needed in this area.   False accusers should be prosecuted and face same or similar punishment their accused could receive.  And the names of the accused should be protected as much as the names of the accusers.  For more, see information at the False Rape Society.

national coalition for men

 

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202 Responses to False Accusations

  1. James Latona on August 7, 2009 at 12:13 AM

    I have been falsely accused in 1995 and still I'm being persecuted for something that never happened.It's a horrible way to have to live.

    • steve on July 15, 2012 at 12:06 PM

      I dont know if you will receive this ,but, I just got out of jail, have nothing but depression left in my life, and the crime never happened ! i was falsely accused by a gold-digger that i hired to clean at my small buisness. she worked 4hrs on a sunday, I have lost everything !

      • DCC/MM on November 19, 2012 at 7:35 PM

        how are you now?? We are in the midst of a trial ourselves

  2. Robert Hodge on July 26, 2009 at 4:25 PM

    Contessa, I hope you and your husband are both doing ok.

  3. Robert Hodge on July 26, 2009 at 4:24 PM

    True justice is never served by the blood,suffering and, death of the innocent.

  4. Robert Hodge on July 26, 2009 at 4:13 PM

    I found it.

    National Coalition for Men (NCFM)
    932 C Street, Suite B, San Diego, CA 92101

  5. Robert Hodge on July 4, 2009 at 3:40 PM

    What is the mailing address?

  6. Contessa on July 4, 2009 at 4:34 AM

    Heartbroken, feel free to email me here:

    eightdozenroses@yahoo.com

    I only check it once a week but I do know what it’s like to need someone to just listen. I’ve never found such a person in RL because no one wants to hear about false accusations – until it’s their turn.

  7. Contessa on July 3, 2009 at 8:30 PM

    Yes – I think snail mail is the only way to join.

  8. Robert Hodge on June 30, 2009 at 9:54 PM

    By snail mail ( money order).

  9. Robert Hodge on June 30, 2009 at 9:51 PM

    Good points American echo. Being a member of the U.S. Military and a victim of false accusations, I understand everything you are saying. Being the victim of false accusations, and a system that is programmed to attack men, based on hysteria and ,in many cases, feminist jurisprudence, has caused my patriotism to begin eroding. I try to never throw up to anyone my job of upholding and defending the U.S. Constitution; one of our most valuable documents and, the supreme law of the land. Imagine how I feel when someone. whose rights I defend, misuses their rights to not only cause irreparable harm but, a crime of falsely accusing me of a serious crime. The state of Tennessee simply took her word as if it were gospel, even though she perjured her statement to the police. There is also the fact that I was never allowed to give my account of what really happened. God is my witness. I did not have a gun or any other type of firearm nor, did I even pretend to have one. Simply on her word, and her word alone, the state saught a class c felony conviction against me. How can I feel patriotic when I am not considered to have any rights or any value in this country? The government I defend betrayed me.

    • Donald on October 23, 2012 at 4:26 AM

      help, i recently broke up with my gf, n nw i’ve to appear b4 the judge 2morrow @ 13:00 in tacoma, wa. cus my ex-gf petition a temporary sexual assault protection order against me, and in part of the accusation of rape, hav no atty, but am gonna tried to request for a continunce in order to get 1. Can anyone help?

  10. Robert Hodge on June 30, 2009 at 1:53 PM

    Contessa, is there a way of sending in membership dues to join this National Coalition?

  11. American Echo on June 28, 2009 at 9:42 AM

    I apologize for adding an addition. But I do think the charge of "overblown" may easily be flung at me, understandably. That aside, my conclusion simply wanted to suggest that when you live in a country with such polarized politics (feminists who claim 2%, researches who claim 60%, regarding false accusations), the only result of this radicalism, especially when it comes to something so intimate as sexual relations and the family, is the disintegration of the family and sexual relations. China and India have infrastructure issues that they are fixing and restoring as we bicker and argue about false accusation statistics. China and India – despite all their injustices against their own people – have a heavy hand socially and do not let these issues disrupt their country's growth. I'm not saying they are right or innocent or democratic countries (despite appearances with regards to India): what I am saying is that they are not destroying the family unit as we destroy that unit. Our radicalism has caused men and women to distrust one another: to actually worry about writing "he" or "he and she" or "S/he" when writing a term paper or newspaper article. We actually worry about such things! And it is this kind of radicalism, creating pettiness, which usually brings a country low. I hope perhaps – even though I know I will be reamed regarding China's human rights record – the others on this site see the point. The feminists beat the hell out of american men in their writings and get away with it, are accepted for it, legalized for it: there is something cryptic about that, sly, and slick, that eventually brings a society down. China's human rights record: the Chinese know exactly what they are doing: abusing human rights in China isn't an accepted social movement like feminism in the u.s. – this is what will eventually bring the u.s. down as we destroy our social fabric, openly, consciously, and funnily enough – legally.

  12. American Echo on June 28, 2009 at 9:25 AM

    I am so glad this blog exists (and the organization which supports it). I am also so glad all of you contribute and keep this discussion alive and timely.
    Being male, and having experienced a false accusation, and having experienced the consequences of a false accusation, I have to say that watching the statistics enumerated on both sides just leave me confused. In other words, I want to be sympathetic to what women experience in the world (as far as threats of rape, DV, et cetera), and at the same time I find the interest groups (in other words, groups influenced or backed by feminist work) to have no interest in any empathy or sympathy for my situation. That is to say, Shannon enumerates her statistics, and in my earlier days, I would have carte blanche been sympathetic and understanding – but, now, after experiencing all the repercussions that come with false accusations, I have nothing but disgust for the feminists (or those who support them like Shannon) for anything they say, because it does not seem like individuals like Shannon want to do anything about false accusations (why would they, they are attacked vehemently for taking a counter position?) and so I am left in a political deadlock: namely, disgust for the feminists, disgust for women who falsely accuse, and yet wanting to have some kind of balance here. Of course I am foolish to think such a balance can exists in today's climate, and berate myself for ever trusting women to be honest (at least the kind of woman i have been falsely accused by). All this to say, I am glad you are writing this, but at the same time I feel the only real conclusion from everything you write is for men to be aware from a very young age (high school, junior high even) not to trust women (because you never know which woman might just be that false accuser)…that I have to use the same tactics the feminists used to attack the feminists: for instance, "every woman is a potential false accuser." So that the next generation of men growing up now may walk the streets and work in their jobs and socialize at parties protecting each other, reminding each other that "every woman is a potential false accuser." Vilifying women, in other words. How else are men to fight women like Shannon? Women like Shannon aren't going to defend falsely accused men. It takes the same sort of radicalism that the feminists employed to fight the feminists. But, in saying this, I am encouraging the destruction of the social cohesion of the family. I am saying that husbands and boyfriends should distrust their girlfriends and wives with all their heart – never really love them – but always sort of suspect them, be ready for that potential false accusation. For some reason, I think nature (human nature that is) always takes revenge on such radical thinking: I'll lose in the long run just as much as the feminists will (the feminists will eventually lose, with people like Glenn Sacks around, they will lose eventually). So, what I am really left concluding ( and I apologize for my rambling entry ) is that the U.S. is really a sick and evil country, inside and out. There's a reason countries abroad hate us, and there's a reason our own populace hates this country (I hate this country for falsely accusing me, for allowing a female to falsely accuse me – why would any sane man be patriotic when the justice system of his country allows a woman to falsely accuse him?). In other words, what the feminists like Shannon really represent is the implosion of the United States upon itself, eating itself alive with pernicious radicalism. Countries like China and India will become more powerful and more socially cohesive, and the only people we will have to blame – is ourselves.

    • Marie Fries on October 22, 2012 at 5:45 AM

      Unfortunately… I can relate to anyone that has been accused, much more than ever before.
      After becoming one of “them”. Yes, “them” “those people” … who, when people hear of the accusation/allegation… they look at you… as if it must be true…or as if … you must have done something horrible to deserve this.
      I remember seeing a Geraldo show years ago…the topic included false allegations…where he had said “If you are going to err…do it in favor of the child” …. i agreed with that…protect the child, always protect the child. But then i thought….what if this is a teenage girl who is testing her power to influence (which she has learned from society at large) what happens to that person who is falsely accused?
      There has to be an intensive investigation in these cases, on both sides!
      But there is not. It is horrible that i agree with the post above…the idea that a women cannot be trusted… absolutely horrible. I am a woman… i have always been complimented on my integrity. And yet, there is no use for it in this situation. My teenage daughter has accused me of horrible things… as well as… my ex-boyfriend… and others… and has been caught lying about a rape threat… i cannot believe that she is capable of this… but then…she has been drugged….legally…when i stopped her from taking seroquil (after it caused her to behave dangerously) her doctor called CYS on me…(in order to show his power).
      I had sought help for my child for her behavior issues… then a group of feminist witches became involved… My daughter is now on 4 different meds…being used as a pawn by these witches…she cant recant…. she cant face her lies…they have coerced her, and bullied me out of her life.
      This is more than i planned to share… i am just looking for answers, cant afford an attorney, facing a court date, my ex boyfriend has been pulled into this… because my daughter has to “name” someone… he is devastated… he didn’t know what to think… of course this causes the mind to reel…. he couldn’t help but to think or ask himself “would she do this to hurt me?” … but now… he understands… it is not me… it is the agenda of the witches…. it is such a horrible stigma to be accused…. and then to be the mother of an accuser… surreal, comes to mind… i cannot believe that this is happening. I am talking with my ex about this… it is odd that we both share an understanding… of how this feels… nobody can imagine how it tears at the core… not unless you have become “one of them”.

  13. Robert Hodge on June 23, 2009 at 2:54 PM

    Heartbroken, have you considered contacting this organization?

    The Equal Justice Foundation

  14. Robert Hodge on June 23, 2009 at 5:33 AM

    Another suspect, you are correct, there are a few men who falsely accuse women of rape ( I wonder if radical feminists will claim it is only two percent or a myth, as they claimed false rapes were.

    True justice is never served by the blood,suffering or death of the truely innocent.

  15. Robert Hodge on June 22, 2009 at 9:29 PM

    Contessa, after what happened to me, I almost became a radical MRA. I kind of understood what it was like to be raped (by someone using/abusing the law to do so. I have become evolved into a constitutional,civil, and human rights advocate.

  16. Robert Hodge on June 22, 2009 at 9:23 PM

    There are still innocent men who will more than likely die in prison.

  17. Robert Hodge on June 22, 2009 at 9:19 PM

    another suspect Says:

    "Moreover, in our society we take a tough, ‘no-nonsense’ approach to criminal justice(ie. punishment–and dont be fooled by the fancy ‘rehabilitation’ moniker they put on it), therefore our forefathers once again implemented checks and balances to assure that we did not falsely imprison for very VERY long periods of time people who we were not absolutely sure were guilty."

    Could you explain that to any of the people featured here?
    http://www.innocenceproject.org/

  18. Robert Hodge on June 22, 2009 at 9:15 PM

    Contessa, Thank you for being so compassionate. It is rare that I hear such compassion from a women, as many of the women in my city are mean. Also Shannon should visit this site to find out how common or rare false rape accusations are.
    http://falserapesociety.blogspot.com/

    This Web site was started by a U.S.-based attorney to help raise awareness about Western Civilization's taboo epidemic, wrongful rape claims. In recent years, our society has declared war on rape, and numerous measures have been adopted to make reporting rape easier than ever. It also has become easier to make false rape claims. In the process, we have allowed an entire class of victim — those falsely accused of the vile crime of rape — to be treated as nothing more than flotsam, collateral damage in what many regard as the more important war on rape, despite the grievous harm falsely accused men and boys often suffer.

  19. Robert Hodge on June 22, 2009 at 9:12 PM

    Is their a way of donating by money order? After having a bad experience with credit cars,I cancelled both of mine. I really would like to be a member.

  20. Heartbroken on June 21, 2009 at 10:31 AM

    This is such a tragity, I am going through this with my husband as well. He is accused of raping his 2 children. Violently raping them. I know it’s not true, so I stand by his side. He is in jail right now and it has ruined our lives. Not just his life, his children’s and mine. I don’t know what more I can do but to keep doing what i’m already doing and that is research, and I read and reread all documents that I have recieved from my husband. There is so much just in those documents that he is innocent. But to prove it is the difficult part. All they need in my state is an accuser. So, that means anybody can say anything about anyone, and put them away. It’s really sad. All the medical says he is innocent as well. It has been 9 months already and trial isn’t gonna start for another 5-7 months. I am having a hard time dealing with all of this. I don’t know what else to do or who else I can turn to, His lawyer seems to not be doing much to help him. It is so true that you are guilty until proven innocent.It’s a long tedious uphill batter, that seems to never end, I describe it as a nightmare and I can’t wake up from it. Thanks for reading.

    • Nikki on September 4, 2012 at 12:32 PM

      My brother was arrested on dec 4, 2009 in Las Vegas Nevada and is still awaiting trial (3 years later). His accusers have stated they will not be testifying. How can these girls get away with accusing him and then not wanto to go to trial? How can the state of Nevada keep waiting 3 years for his trial and that’s if they don’t push the date back once again? How is it that the prosecutor can tell me that my brother is evil and that she is going to put him away for life if nobody shows up to testify against him? His life has been ruined with these false allegations and he’s lost 3 years of his life. I just don’t get it.

    • scott on December 12, 2012 at 9:04 PM

      My wife is going through the same thing, i am temporarily free, she can’t understand how my stepson from 8 years ago could accuse me of such disgusting things. we have been together six years and have 4 children altogether. if it wasn’t for my 13Y/o daughter from my first marriage telling my new wife it is all a lie, and having known me around our children, she would probably believe it was true, last month the state offered me one felony count of child abuse no prison no sex registry, instead of 7 felonies. today they offered me two misdemeanors, they have all the power, and we are the victims. I would like to tell the DA she can take her deal and shove it. i told my attorney to tell her drop all charges, and exspounge my arrest record, i’m innocent no deal……..Be strong

      • deena on January 30, 2013 at 10:51 PM

        scott,
        I am posting this just to see how are things are going,It seems your post is recent,I respond because I have a sibling who is going through the Unthinkable,he is being falsley accused by two stepdaughter’ s who are teenagers.It has been a nightmare and I am behind my sibling,101%.It has devastated us to no end,He has two boys from a previous marriage and the nightmare has just begun,there is no way to know where to start,and they keep piling lies after lies,I know he is innocent,and now were in the fight of his life,on top of watching his world crumble on top one bit at a time.I pray God bring out the truth of these lies.I pray your situation gets better,but our system is pretty wacked,If we take a stand,and start dra wing out awarness of these type allegations,we have a chance,and I won’t stop till we have proven my sibling’s innocence.God Be with you and Us of these horrible nightmares,Stand up for the truth and fight like hell,laws have got to change.Make your voice heard…

  21. Contessa on June 18, 2009 at 9:21 PM

    May I respectfully ask if all of you are members of NCFM? $30 – I know it's a lot of money but there's no way we can ever hope to inform the public of these things unless we unite. I'm sure even $5 would be welcome.

  22. another suspect on June 12, 2009 at 12:49 PM

    If a law routinely fails to differentiate between the ‘rapist’ and the ‘non-rapist’, the ‘abuser’ and the ‘non-abuser’, the ‘pedophile’ and the ‘non-pedophile’, that law fails to ACCURATELY IDENTIFY the ‘rapist, abuser, or pedophile’…This is a law which fails to protect the real victim of rape or physical/sexual abuse. Even as an advocate for the rights of true victims you have to see the importance of a system that ACCURATELY identifys those that are a danger to the people of our society. Moreover, in our society we take a tough, ‘no-nonsense’ approach to criminal justice(ie. punishment–and dont be fooled by the fancy ‘rehabilitation’ moniker they put on it), therefore our forefathers once again implemented checks and balances to assure that we did not falsely imprison for very VERY long periods of time people who we were not absolutely sure were guilty. This is why the burden of proof(you know that ‘cliche’, guilty beyond a reasonable doubt)exists on the prosecution, to avoid at all cost falsely thowing somebody into our penial system! at all cost!…i got a thought for you, shannon, how many men do you think are raped in prison? yeah…or, how bout this, what small precentage of men in prison do you think acctually report it? How many men in prison are the VICTIM of violence? wow! You see the reality of it is even if shannon is correct in her figure, which i certainly have to question…2% is way too many innocent people to be in prison! As a society we should be appaled at one single innocent human-being being sucked into our so called justice system. Trust me when i say to put an innocent person in prison is to create a criminal out of thin air! Criminal mentality is neccessary to survive in prison. Therefore, it is not only appaling, but hazardous to our society. Think of it in figures…it kinda voids out the incarceration of someone who truely is a danger to our society. Throw an otherwise law abiding citizen into a tank with sharks for a couple years, then release him into society a trained criminal..one off the streets, one on the streets! So you can see how dangerous it can be to lock up the innocent? Its a horrible system full of suffering, discomfort, desolution, lonliness, and devoid of any element of rehab. We must protect our citizens from bad things like murder, and robery, and rape( and terrorism) but not through fanaticism or panic. This only causes more problems. Lastly, i wanna eduate you all to a new, and ever growing/new trend in false accusations…this is the cancer that has infected my life! A growing number of men are being accused, charged, and are usually convinced by some slick lawyer after 2 years of motions and continuences and haveing spent up $25,000 to cop to a plea bargin for possessing child pornography! This is heineous, and you all should know that there are many men who are serving 2, 5, 10 even 20 to 25 years sentences in prison for having illegal pictures on their computer which they did not personally or knowingly and willingly posses…No regard for whether they downloaded them or they were obtained as temp internet files…regardless of whether they were aware of the pictures existance on their computer or not…regardless of whether the computer was a shared computer in a common area of a house many people live or stay at…regardless of intention….regardless of willingness to take a lie detector, or cooperate with any investigation to so as to clear their name…etc, etc, etc…this is a modern day witch trial/mccarthy era! And it is not only destroying the lives of those accused, but it is also FAILING to protect the children who are acctually being exploited by the real pedophiles who are profiting off of this billion dollar industry(thats right $1billion a year in illegal pornography, and i am broke, unemployed, and am about to file for bankruptcy–who are they arresting? waiters, bus drivers, lawyers, judges, teachers, doctors, social workers, construction workers, regular people)! Something has got to be done! The problem is that no politician stands to gain a single freakin vote by fighting for the rights of falsely accused child pornogrphers! Moreover, due to the inconsistancies in sentencing(they have sentenced men to 2 to 160 years for possession of child pornography)most falsely accused men plea guilty eventually so when they finally do get out of prison with a felony on their record, and registered as a sex offender no one is much willing to listen to what they have to say anyway…and i dont imagine they have much fight left in them after the constant fight for survival required to make it in prison as a convicted “chester”! Me..Iam speaking out NOW! I have been accused of this, and i am not guilty! 2 and 1/2 years of my life now have been spent in and out of court proceedings, grand juries, preliminaries, motion hearing, etc…I live in a relatively small town, so this made the news…i have not been able to get a job since(thats 2 1/2 years of unemployment)..my girlfriend, who consequently knows/swears by my innocence and has been with me through the entire ordeal held it down as long as she could financially but we are now getting evicted and have had every utility shut off except electric…our lives are falling apart! I dont sleep because when i do i dream about being in prison….i have had deal after deal thrown at me ranging from 8years to 3 years…I refuse to take a deal! I am innocent, and i will let 12 of my peers decide wether they believe me or not! My lawyer warns me against it because i literally face 75 years, but i believe this is bigger then me! This is about truth, so my fate will lie in the hands of people just like you! I hope they understand whats at cost! For what its worth, they, along with God have my faith…as for you, please educate yourselves on what the police and prosecution are doing in your name…in the names of our children…THIS IS NOT A SOB STORY…MANY HAVE FACED FALSE IMPRISONMENT AND HAVE PREVAILED….MANY HAVE FACED WORSE….I TOO WILL PREVAIL! THIS IS, HOWEVER, A TRUE STORY! THERE IS PROBABLY ONE IN EVERY TOWN LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW! IF WE DO NOTHING, THERE WILL BE ONE IN EVERY FAMILY LIKE THIS! EVENTUALLY, THERE WILL BE A STORY IN EVERY HOUSEHOLD LIKE THIS! AND PS…I SAY ‘MEN’ OVER AND OVER AGAIN BECAUSE UP TILL RECENTLY IT HAD ONLY BEEN MEN CHARGED WITH THIS CRIME, BUT I JUST RECENTLY HEARD OF A FEMALE BEING CHARGED FOR THE SAME THING, SO IT IS NOT JUST A ‘MAN’S’ PROBLEM ANYMORE!

  23. steve on June 12, 2009 at 4:12 AM

    Shannon said “ It’s even more important to note that only 10-15% of all sexual assaults are ever reported. The problem of violence towards women is only related to men in the way that men perpetuate the violence. Rape is a woman’s issue, 1 in 4 women will be raped or sexually assualted in her lifetime.”
    This a feminist myth fed along with the poison that runs throughout the fabric of our society that thread is feminism .

  24. molly s. on June 9, 2009 at 5:09 AM

    My brother is experiencing this right now, and he has been torn away from his three sons due to false allegations of DV. I can't believe this is happening. I believe laws should be in place to protect victims of any kind of abuse, but the laws should be written to protect the victims only – not people taking legal action out of pure spite and revenge. Here's a petition to congress. If anyone has experienced this, or knows someone who has, please sign!
    http://www.petition2congress.com/2/1627/go/350122

  25. Contessa on May 22, 2009 at 12:47 PM

    Shannon, I do not believe for one minute that only two percent of rape claims are fake. You believe what you what – even when you attempted to be understanding, you really angered me. YOU live his life and then take that patronizing attitude.

  26. Contessa on May 22, 2009 at 4:45 AM

    Robert, they never do. After tearing my husband's life to shreds and admitting that his falsely accusing wife was the "most repugnant person on the planet" (the DA's EXACT words), it was like "Oh well". His life was torn to shreds but if a woman is raped, all sorts of services are available to her. I am not advocating doing away with these services for REAL victims of rape but, rather, wonder WHO IS GOING TO HELP THE MALE VICTIMS of these heinous lies?

    Shannon would have us believe that it's far far worse for a woman to be raped. I say apples and oranges, first of all, and a rape victim's life is only destroyed if she allows it to be. I speak as a relative of women who HAVE been raped. When your name is destroyed and everyone is sure you're guilty, then what?

  27. mrs cee on May 17, 2009 at 5:38 PM

    i'm also loving a falsely accused man..My daughters friend of 3 1/2 yrs was welcomed n2 our family as she was our own;ncluded her n several family outings etc. this young lady had dated boys n her past & on some occassion have been seen n our hallway being fondled but @this time she decide to date a girl which her family strongly opposed, her mother continously questioned whether she was sure of her decision. her girl friend being the stud wasn't allowed n her mothers house & her brothers stopped talking to her. So, feb2009 i cooked her a birthday dinner, she turned 18 shortly after i gave one of my usual lectures advs her that now she grown by illinois law she cant visit like she use to, however upon each visit that once stated to her directly when i'm going to sleep u most leave & if i'm not home u are not to be here (cant play wife & ward ) * she responded w/understanding 3/17/09 @155p she text my daughter "where r u?" my dauther replied @ultra foods w/my mom & sister. With knowing this nfo she states her younger brother wanted his white hat whch was @my house due to her leaving it there nstead of sending her brother to get frm my husband she went to retrieve it. ( please remember the rule i told her to her face.) Per my husband, he answered the door she walked right in w/o being welcomed; headed straight to my daughters room where she got the hat. The victim? states: my husband requested to perform only oral sex on her. According to my husband she said yes thn gently took him by the hands leading n2 our bedroom where the supposed attack to place. ( both taking advantage of an opportunity ) During the event he states he did not penetrate he performed only 2-3licks.
    Once he finished he helped her get dressed gave her..her shoes and let her out all the while not displaying signs of distress or giving any indication that he did any thing wrong. Before closing the door behind her.. per my husband, she said now that i'm 18 we can b more that nieghbors. And did he think she was too pretty to b gay? plus w/all multiple fights & arrest he's gone thru w/me that he should leave me & be w/her. He said he replied,"no. . . i'm not leaveing my wife for nobody, so she proceeded to leave( quietly ).
    My husband went back2 his reg routine whch was beer & playstation3 for about 30ins. Unknown to him that w/n seconds his whole life w/b changing. Her brothers attempted to kick n my door about 255p aftr getting her call; even thou i'm @the store i'm on the phone w/him when the break-in started. Please note* my apartment has a front & back door. So w/that being said he opened the frnt door to prevent any futher damage. ( crow bar )
    he's rushed by six men ( nieghbors )before the police arrived. So, again my husband & i have had our share of problems & disagreements whch sometimes brought the attention of police. As u can see he's no angle & niether is she. However if he knew that he had violated her he would not have set back down to cont. a video game; he w/have "dipped" out the back door. ( excuse my slang ) For some reason i became very fearful to leave my house; stayed n about 5dys too scared. Once i had calmed i had come to learn that she was outside next day aftr the supposed attack, still w/her hospital band on. I hear people asking her "girl why u still got that on?" she replied w/smile "idk" but because her brothers came to her supposed rescue, now their talking to her again & the girl friend not only was she allowed to come in2 the mothers' house she could also spend nights!!! ( shocked ). Tried to ask the mother/daughter to drop charges *refused*. Tried to get the mother to see that her little sheep n wolves clothing wasn't being honest w/her & that theres more to this store.( denial ) Neighbors have come forward say'g she's been @our apartmnt b4 n the past whn my daughter and i weren't home. So he's n jail & tomorrow we go2 court to file motions. So if anyone has ideas to share on how help him. Please Please advise any advise is very welcomed.

  28. Robert Hodge on May 5, 2009 at 1:11 AM

    Me a Soldier and the state didn’t care. The prosecutor they chose to take the case is a known feminazi. You might ask why my lawyer wasn’ doing anything to help me. I had two public defenders and one court appointed attorney (one at a time) who made it clear they were not going to defend me. The public defender’s office dropped my case because of conflict of interest. The court apointed attorney, who I thought might be better, coerced me to accept a plea bargain to a lesser charge. Not a one of these,or the state, had an account given by me concerning what really happened. How can a public defender or a court appointed attorney defend a client without having their client’s side of the story? I sent to the F.B.I. and the Depatment of Justice a copy of the police report and the transcripts from the preliminary hearing that shows how the “victim” couldn’t keep her lie straight. I also sent my account of what really happened. Only one other person should have a brief account,according to me, of what happened. This is one of the things I believe; true justice is never satisfied by the blood,suffering or, death of the innocent.

  29. Robert Hodge on May 4, 2009 at 4:56 PM

    I virtually lost my life because a woman wanted to play victim and cause me harm. I was the actual victim of a crime yet, the police and the state didn't care about a male victim.

  30. Robert Hodge on May 4, 2009 at 4:51 PM

    I know too well what it is like to be a victim of a devastating false accusation. I was falsely accused of waving a gun at a woman who lives a few houses down the street. The "victim" and her friends came to my home and threatened me with bodily harm and death, all because the woman's nine year old nephew allegedly told them that I had approached him in the middle of the road way and dropped my pants in front of him. The thought of doing something like this has never even crossed my mind. The boy's aunt and mother knew it was a lie. If they knew it possibly happened they would have gotten a warrant as they told the police officers they would. They did not get a warrant nor did the state of Tennessee. The police ignored my complaint regarding the woman and the armed mob who came to my house and threatened me. I was arrested without being informed that I was being arrested. I was never even informed of my miranda rights. The aunt ( the "victim"), gave two different accounts of what she claimed happened on the night of Aug2,2006. There was an investigation and no weapon was found. I made it politely clear to the police officer who arrested me that I had no gun and only a limited and controlled access to the rifle that is assigned to me by the Tennessee Army national guard. I have recently sent a letter of request to investigate to the F.B.I. and select persons in the U.S. Department of Justice along with proof the woman lied to the police and the state. The whole case was a "he said/she said case and the state chose to seek a conviction against me and sentence me to two to fifteen years in prison, all based on the woman's word alone. Because of the woman lying, I lost a good future in the U.S. Army and, almost got thrown out of the national guard here in Tennessee. False accusations do cause irepairable harm and destroy lives. As a result of what happened to me, I have nothing left to live for and nothing left to lose. I feel pain everyday and very disenfranchised.

  31. Shannon on May 3, 2009 at 6:04 AM

    Contessa and Gunner,
    As a feminist, I am an advocate for the rights of all women, whatever those rights may be. I am not fighting for women to be better than men, and to presume that I “don’t think men matter” is both audacious and ignorant. The definition of feminism, according to Merriam-Webster, is “: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes”, which means that by definition and practice I fight for the equality of both women and men. Most importantly, the fact that you, or any other person reading these messages, disagrees with me is irrelevant and doesn’t dictate whether or not I care about your opinions or feelings.

    "feminism." Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary. 2009.
    Merriam-Webster Online. 3 May 2009

    I do not pretend to claim that what has happened to your husband isn’t real or tragic. If your narrative is true then his situation is both unfair and unjust. Also, in context my use of the word “insignificant” refers to the percentage of cases that are false accusations and not to your situation. In fact, I do not deny or trivialize the experiences of any of you men or women who have personally experienced.
    That being said, these few cases do not change the majority of sexual assault and rape cases. It is also important to note, Gunner, that I am speaking specifically of sexual assault and rape, not domestic violence or child custody. Those are a completely different and complex set of issues.
    Here is the research you all desire, all of these facts are followed by the appropriate sources. Because unlike those you consider fear mongers and harpies, I value factual data, in fact, it is the only way to construct a convincing and valid argument.
    • 1 in 6 women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime, and 1 in 33 men are sexually assaulted in his lifetime.
    • Only 2% of reported sexual assaults have been determined to be false.
    These facts are from the National Institute of Justice Website. http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/topics/crime/rape-se
    Fisher, B.S., F.T. Cullen, and M.G. Turner. The Sexual Victimization of College Women . Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics and National Institute of Justice, 2000, NCJ 182369.
    Koss, Mary P., and C. Gedycz, and N. Wisniewski. "The Scope of Rape Incidence and Prevalence of Sexual Aggression and Victimization in a National Sample of Higher Education Students." Journal of Consulting and Clinical psychology. 55(1987), 162-70
    Thoennes, Nancey, and Tjaden, Patricia. “Prevalence, Incidence and Consequences of Violence Against Women: Findings of the National Violence Against Women Survey.” U.S. Department of Justice, November 1998.
    It is possible that you just don’t understand the definition of sexual assault or rape, this can make things very confusing. Let me clarify.
    • Sexual assault: any act of sex where the actor has not obtained consent from the other person. Runs on a continuum from unlawful sexual contact to actual penetration.
    • Rape: Sexual intrusion or penetration of the vagina anus or mouth of the victim. The weapon of intrusion used by the perpetrator may be a penis, tongue, finger or object.
    • Consent: Cooperation in act and attitude. Knowledge of what is happening, intoxicants, such as alcohol, can impair a person’s ability to give consent. Submission due to fear is not consent. Having previous sexual relationship does not mean consent. http://dictionary.law.com/default2.asp?selected=1
    Gunner, I am confused as to where I claimed that 25% of the male population was rapists? In fact nowhere in my comment did I make such a ludicrous statement. Also it is geographically impossible for 2 or 3 people to commit every sexual assault in America. I do not know the percentage of men who commit rape and will there for make no such statements about a specific number.
    It is interesting that you refer to rape in a way that makes it seem like a game or quota by using phrases like “professional”, “running around” and “keep the numbers up”.
    Steven,
    I was incorrect in my range of rapes reported, these are the new facts.
    • The Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) reports that the majority of rapes and sexual assaults perpetrated against women and girls in the United States between 1992 and 2000 were not reported to the police. Only 36 percent of rapes, 34 percent of attempted rapes, and 26 percent of sexual assaults were reported.
    I don’t know how statistics are calculated from the reported percentage, and unless you do, you are unjustified in saying that the numbers come from thin air.
    Rennison, C.M. Rape and Sexual Assault: Reporting to Police and Medical Attention, 1992–2000. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics, August 2002, NCJ 194530.
    Again, I am not talking about domestic violence and I do acknowledge that DV is committed by both men and women.
    Let me reiterate so as not to offend anyone. I believe the experiences of men who have experienced false accusations are horrible and unwarranted. Occurrences such as these are detrimental and hurt the credibility of both sexes. I realize that both sides of this argument will be able to find and cite sources so agreement is impossible. I do encourage all of you to perceive sexual assault and rape as serious issues not to be dismissed by allegedly high percentages of false accusation.

  32. Melissa on March 31, 2009 at 7:37 AM

    I thought our judicial system was fair. I had quite an eye opening. You do not need to give dates or have any evidence of rape in the state that I live in. An accusation is enough to send someone to prison. Guilty until proven innocent. Where is the justice? Where is the retribution for loss of freedom, respect, defirmation of character, going in debt to protect yourself against the false accusations. Laws should be severe for false accusations.

    • Taniya on March 1, 2012 at 12:17 PM

      Could you provide a link to that information? An allegation is never enough. Many rapes go unpunished because of the LACK of evidence.

  33. Contessa on March 22, 2009 at 1:35 AM

    When I have some free time, yes, I will do that. Thanks so much for the invitation. As far as awareness of the crime of false accusations, we have such a long way to go. Look at the comments made by Shannon in this thread.

    Sadly, I can take no credit for awareness on my own. Had I not met up with this man, and done a LOT of research, I might be believing the same feminist propaganda. There are fair minded women everywhere – but we have to reach them. That's why this organization is so important. Please – if you're just stopping by, I encourage you to join. I know times are tough financially and I have to scrape for my dues as well (I'm late! AGH!) but it's money well spent.

  34. E. Steven Berkimer on March 20, 2009 at 10:00 AM

    Contessa,

    I’m so sorry you have to watch him go through that. And I’m appreciative that he has someone who is willing to be there watching him go through that.

    Sadly, the crime of false rape accusation isn’t something that rarely happens. Please, if you have a story to share, please drop by the website I post regularly on, http://www.falserapesociety.blogspot.com, and if you are willing, please share your story with us. We are one of the few sites that are comitted to making sure that the issue of false accusations of rape are exposed.

  35. Contessa on March 20, 2009 at 2:12 AM

    I still keep quiet about it.

    • Guest on March 26, 2012 at 10:55 AM

      Yes, you do because you are afraid you will be exposed for all of the lies he told, that you chose to believe for the financial security.

  36. Ally on March 17, 2009 at 6:25 AM

    Wow… Two years ago I would have rolled my eyes at the stories of false allegations. But then I watched the life of the most gentle, kind man I know get ripped to shreds by a sociopath with unlimited funds to take legal action against him based on things she simply made up out of thin air. Even though the police testified against her, my fiance continues to live with barely any contact with his own children. He was the primary caregiver, took them to all doctor and dentist appointments, taught them to ride bikes, loved them the way a father should and helped them grow. He cries every night and it is TORTURE for all of us.

    I had no idea the vicious power women have when they turn and twist the elements in the system meant to protect real victims of abuse.

    Once I started sharing my fiance's story with coworkers (I hesitated becuase i figured no one would believe me), each and EVERY ONE so far has a friend or a brother or is himself experienced in the area of having to defend against false allegations and losing his children as a result.

    That last statement in the post… that the pain will only end when he passes. … it is a heartbreaking truth. I feel it for my man too.

  37. lonely sufferer on March 16, 2009 at 8:24 AM

    To all men being falsely accused. If you have nothing to fear take a lie detector test. I did and passed. Child protective services and local police backed off and I got my children back after 6-8 weeks. I am legally totally disabled due to 10 years of childhood rapes by adult males in two foster homes in California. Thirty years after the fact I sued the perpetrators and won in civil court. Not everybody becomes a perpetrator just because they were perpetrated against as children.

  38. E. Steven Berkimer on March 14, 2009 at 12:32 PM

    Gunner,

    Thank you for responding to her, and Semper Fi.

    I have a couple of additions:

    #1. It’s even more important to note that only 10-15% of all sexual assaults are ever reported.

    If they aren't reported, then you are just pulling figures out of thin air, as there is no way to accurately calculate something that isn't reported. Unless of course, you could be bothered to cite your sources as Gunner did.

    #2. The problem of violence towards women is only related to men in the way that men perpetuate the violence.

    Then please explain how the rate of domestic violence is the same in lesbian relationships as heterosexual relationships?

    "Statistics regarding domestic violence against LGBT people are unavailable at the national level, but as regional studies demonstrate, domestic violence is as much as a problem within LGBT communities as it is among heterosexual ones."

    That is a direct quote from the NOW website: http://www.now.org/issues/violence/stats.html

    Funny, even NOW is aware that DV, as well as sexual assault/rape is not something that only men do to women.

  39. Gunner Retired on March 4, 2009 at 7:18 AM

    Shannon,
    You claim that "Only 2% of all reported cases of sexual assault and rape are false" is in err. This 'Canard has not only long since been disproved, the source of of the "2% False claim" has been exposed.
    Edward Greer wrote a paper on this… I invite you to read it and educate yourself.

    Now discussing your claim that "Rape is a woman’s issue, 1 in 4 women will be raped or sexually assaulted in her lifetime,"
    a) there is NO reliably sourced data to support this… anywhere and
    b) do you truly expect use to believe that 25% of the male population of the planet are rapists? Or are there like 2 or 3 professional rapists out there running around attacking women just to keep the numbers up?

    Now… having said that, let me point you to some DATA (which I realize is inconsequential to fear mongers and "OMG IT'S A CRISIS!" harpies):
    a) Per the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, as published in their annual Child Maltreatment Report- the VAST MAJORITY of neglect, abuse and maltreatment suffered by our children is inflicted by their mothers (with the child father being the least frequent perpetrator of said neglect, abuse and maltreatment.
    Don't take my word for it, the data is available online at the US US DoH&HS website.
    b) Review the US CDC (United States Centers for Disease Control) NVSR (National Vital Statistics Report), Vol. 56, No. 5, November 20, 2007 Table 1.
    …and you'll see that contrary to one of feminists cherished dictums
    "More women are killed by Domestic Violence than any other cause in America", that more women die from accidental causes than die from ALL forms of violence (ie Domestic or otherwise) combined, and in fact deaths caused by violence drop off the charts completely at age 45.

    c) If you'll review the National Hospital Ambulatory Care Survey data files you'll find that contrary to another of feminists prized dictums,"Domestic Violence is the leading cause of injury to women between ages 15 and 44 in the United States – more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined",
    Survey data fil  that injuries to women caused by Domestic Violence (titled "Injuries purposefully inflicted by spouse or other intimate" rank far behind such mundane causativeas as 'motor vehicle accidents', 'accidental falls', 'sports injuries',  etc.
    In fact, in 1996 the NHACS published data placing DV injuries at #8 in line at 2.2%, a paltry 0.1% ahead of #18 'poisonous animals and plants', #19 'hot substance or object' and #20 'foreign body accidentally entering eye'…

    COMBINED!!!.

    d) Going back even further in history (merely to illustrate to you that this data is, AND HAS BEEN, known (i.e. despite feminists BS lies) to the 1985 US NIJ Family Violence Research Survey i.e. FVRS, males reported that women initiated family violence 44.1% of the time and women reported that they initiated the violence 52.7% of the time.
    Yes, 23 years ago women admitted they initiated family violence almost 20% more often than men did.
    Further, the US CDC has published data showing us that in families experiencing reciprocal violence women initiate the violence as often as the men, and in families experiecing non-reciprocal violence women initiate 3/4 of the violence.

    Shall I continue?
    I can.
    I wouldn't lie to you.

    I'll not only sit here and tell you you're a lying *censored* and full of *censored*, I'll tell you what the DATA is (as opposed to your cherished *censored* rhetoric) and I'll tell you how and where to go look up that DATA.
    For example:

    * 29.9% of custodial fathers and 76.9% of custodial mothers receive a support award.
    * 26.9% and 46.9% of non-custodial mothers totally default on support payments.
    * 61.0% of non-custodial fathers and 20.0% non-custodial mothers pay support at some level.
    * 10.2% of single custodial fathers and 66.2% of single custodial mothers work less than full time.
    * 24.5% of single custodial fathers and 7.0% of single custodial mothers work more than 44 hours weekly.
    * 20.8% of single custodial fathers and 46.2% of single custodial mothers receive public assistance.

    Source:
    Technical Analysis Paper No. 42 – US Dept. of Health and Human Services – Office of Income Security Policy.

    Further:
    * 90.2% of fathers with joint custody pay the support due.
    * 79.1% of fathers with visitation privileges pay the support due.
    * 44.5% of fathers with no visitation pay the support due.
    * 37.9% of fathers are denied any visitation.

    And read this one real carefully, it’s pertinent:

    * 66% of all support not paid by non-custodial fathers is due to the inability to pay.

    Source:
    1988 Census “Child Support and Alimony: 1989 Series” P-60, No. 173 p, 6-7, and “US General Accounting Office Report GAO/HRD-92-39FS Jan 1992

    If anyone else cares for a copy of the [Mythos Busted] file (from whence came this data) I maintain here, you need only email me at gunnerretired@hotmail.com asking for it.

    Gunner Retired
    F4J Georgia
    NPRA

  40. Contessa on March 1, 2009 at 3:49 AM

    Shannon –

    Please come to my house and tell my shattered husband that false accusations are "insignificant" – if you dare. Of course, you'll have to GET PAST ME FIRST!   And there's fat chance of that.

    Tell me, if you're so concerned about women's rights, why are you not fighting for MY right to not have MY life destroyed (albeit vicariously) via these horrible false accusations?  I'm a woman – OK, so you don't think men matter, well I'm a woman so therefore my pain must matter to you, right?

    Ooooh, sorry – my bad.   The last thing feminists care about are the rights of those who disagree with them – male OR female.

    • Guest on March 26, 2012 at 10:53 AM

      Your house? Don't you mean, his house? Keep on trying babe, no one believes you or him.

  41. Contessa on March 1, 2009 at 2:51 AM

    PS Shannon, dear?  You need to stop spouting the feminist line and actually do some research.  1 in 4 my a$$.

  42. Contessa on February 21, 2009 at 4:37 AM

    CrazyDrama – I’ll tell you what’s crazy. Giving a group of high school girls SIX DAYS to “get their stories straight” – meaning they can rehearse their lies during that time.

    Unbelievable.

    Your defense is in your post – he broke up with the girl.  Hell hath no fury.  Other than that, your son is at the mercy of those who believe that women don’t lie about such things. 

    I wonder why men want to have anything to do with us anymore – it’s too dangerous!  I’m glad they do, but still I have to wonder.

  43. Contessa on February 20, 2009 at 9:30 PM

    Steve – my heart goes out to you.     I do understand – albeit vicariously – the pain, the torment, the nightmare.
    My first suggestion is to research, research, research.  I do have a copy of Dean Tong's book – somewhat useful.  I can't remember which book.  I do know that my husband lost most everything he had by the time it was all over – first criminal charges, then civil charges (they couldn't put him in jail for the rest of his life and get his money that way, so they sued). 

    My husband used to be a wealthy man.  His money was meant FOR HIS CHILDREN as he is a modest man who requires little and worked very hard to secure the future of his children.   His ex wife and her minions stripped HIS CHILDREN of their college education – ironically, his children were her minions – and the police, and the DA and some radical women's groups, and psychologists, and social workers……the list of the complicit goes on and on…

    At the end, the children  only f-ed themselves over because now they have NOTHING – none of them have ANYTHING.    Not that  I care about them, because they all went along with this and filed charges and perjured themselves and have NO REGRET about it.

    In *your* case, your daughter is not complicit and it breaks my heart to hear this story. She's a baby and at least she doesn't know about any of this while it's going on but the damage her mother is doing to her – depriving her of a father – will eventually haunt her.

    So tragic.

    • Guest on March 26, 2012 at 10:52 AM

      You are so bitter! Have you even tried to help him face what he did and try to ask for forgiveness from his children? It sounds like it is all about the money to you. So sad to read such vitriol. If he is so poor, how did he afford a sailboat? Just sayin…

  44. CrazyDrama on February 19, 2009 at 11:41 PM

    I am currently dealing with an issue where my 17 year old son was accused of sexual harrassment at school, the only witnessess the girl and three of her friends (one of whom is a girl my son recently broke up with) The school took  6 days to conduct its "investigation" basically gave them 6 days to get their stories straight. Now my son who is a D1 football recruit is in danger of being expelled from school and missing his senior season of football. There is no evidence, no video, the teacher who was in the classroom when this supposedly occured saw nothing. How do you fight something like this?

  45. Steven Bilik on February 19, 2009 at 8:43 PM

    Hello,
    My name is Steve, I am currently in a battle with my ex just to have unsupervised visits with my daughter who lived with me 10 1/2 months of her 14 month old life. The allegations started out with physical abuse and willful deprivation. Next came the drug abuse allegations. Now they have turned into child pornography, and sexual abuse on own daughter. I pray that someone will see through these lies.  Everytime that I refuse to pay for something (Like a party for her family at my daughters baptismal)another allegation emerges.
    I live in Illinois and it seems that she can keep making the accusations and I have too pay to keep defending myself. I am guilty without evidence, until I prove myself innocent. I have spent all of my money and now am 35,000 in debt due to this, and it still is happening.
    Our daughtert has special needs also and I think it would be much better to spend all of my money on her care, not just for the right to be a part of her life. WHERE IS THE JUSTICE???

    • Victim on July 3, 2011 at 7:59 AM

      Steve, I feel for you…where is the justice? I am currently going through similar accusations; one after another. I tell you one thing…if your attorney isn't defending you, more than likely you will be found guilty! I am going through a divorce and had to hire a criminal attorney to defend me since my divorce attorney wasn't telling me what the heck was going on. CPS found nothing against me so now I am facing statutory rape. I met her when she was 16 and I was 21. We had a child right before she turned 17 and another when she was 19 and another when she was 24. The relationship was off and on…mind you she was illegal immigrant and she tried to file a VAWA (Vilence Against Woman Act) in 2005 report on me while we were living together…we never officially married until 2008. Immigration denied her request for citizenship under spousal abuse because she wasn't able to provide a marriage certificate. In 2008 she lied to me and said her dad had got her citizenship and we married. .

      • Victim on July 3, 2011 at 7:59 AM

        cont'd…Come to find out she is still illegal and inorder to be able to qualify for the citizenship (this time) she had to have a marriage certificate, which she now did and be married for at least 2 years before getting a divorce and also that abuse occured. This girl had no police reports of any incidents prior to her leaving me. After she left, coinsidently all these accusations of abuse and child abuse towards my children occured. She never reported them. She moved out Jan. 2011 to move in with her boyfriend. And yet….I am still fighting to protect my innocence! What happened to my Constitutional Rights as a US citizen? I am fighting full custody for my children and requesting she pay for all false accusations. I live in Texas

  46. Shannon on February 9, 2009 at 5:59 AM

    Although I realize that some men suffer the consequences of a falsley accused rape or sexual assault, in reality this issue is practically insignificant, especially when compared with the real issue: a system of violence towards women. Only 2% of all reported cases of sexual assault and rape are false, this is the same percentage of false accusations of every other crime. It's even more important to note that only 10-15% of all sexual assaults are ever reported. The problem of violence towards women is only related to men in the way that men perpetuate the violence. Rape is a woman's issue, 1 in 4 women will be raped or sexually assualted in her lifetime.

    • Matthias. on October 16, 2011 at 12:24 PM

      2% is a myth! studies have proven that roughly HALF of all rape accusations are lies! It's not a woman's issue, It's a people issue. I am male, and i have actually been raped by several WOMEN. and i couldn't take action because it isnt seen as rape is you're a male victim. stop spreading this lie. you're worthless.

  47. Contessa on January 26, 2009 at 7:06 PM

    Drew, I'm so sorry to hear that.    I hope you have had success in putting your life back together again – although from what I've seen, it's damned near impossible.  What was lost by the accusations can never ever be regained.   If my husband has one peaceful night in all the rest of his life, it will be a miracle.   OK, so the bitch ended up in jail over a non-related offense, but she SHOULD have been in jail for making horrible false accusations.  Where is the outrage??

    My heart goes out to you.

  48. Drew on January 26, 2009 at 9:47 AM

    I know exactly the pain of losing a job over false accusations; I was fortunate that it didn't go to court. People then wonder why some men are gay. That way at least both partners are equal in the eyes of the law.

  49. Contessa on January 20, 2009 at 8:16 PM

    False accusations destroy lives.  And it doesn't just destroy the life of the man falsely accused.   His parents, grandparents,  children, brothers, sisters …. can and will be impacted in ways which only those who love a falsely accused man will ever understand.  If you can imagine being shunned by  neighbors 10 years after false incest/rape/abuse charges have been dropped…

    FALSELY ACCUSED.
    Imagine losing your job and not being able to find a new one…even though the charges were dropped….Imagine being sued in civil court by an evil ex-wife and children determined to get the revenge they feel the legal system denied them (but really didn't, since you did lose your job and you were arrested and on the news and humiliated and are being shunned and everyone is convinced you are guilty just somehow got off the hook).  Imagine spending all that money once again to defend yourself and imagine the pain you feel when your attorney advises you that you'd better settle out of court if you even want to retain one dime…

    Imagine being too old to start over once everyone began forgetting…

    Imagine watching all the money from years of hard work for your family (once the lawyers were paid, of course) disappear because you can't find a new job. 

    Imagine knowing you'd be turned down for a career position as the french fry guy at McDonald's…

    Can you even begin to imagine the nightmares – each and every night – from the 5 weeks you were refused bail because your ex lied and said you would try to kill her (in addition to the daily beatings, rapes, etc.)????

    And worst of all, imagine that your children, whom you have loved so dearly -  have been trained in your absence while you were attempting to provide for them the best future you could – being molded by a vicious woman to lie, cheat, steal, and do whatever it takes to get whatever they want – and to despise and blame YOU in the process?  Imagine losing your children forever –

    Imagine any and all of this – because it does and did happen.

    My name is Rosemarie and I'm a proud member of NCFM.  I am now married to a falsely accused man.  It's a nightmare which will only end when he finally passes away – and that's exactly what she wanted.  Trust me on this one.

    • Guest on March 26, 2012 at 8:46 AM

      You are truly brainwashed and in denial about the man you married (and met through an on-line dating service). Your neighbors know the truth. Your community knows the truth. Law enforcement knows the truth. Most importantly HE knows the truth. He destroyed the lives of all of those who loved him and wished him well. By all accounts you are a bitter, profanity spewing, angry, isolative woman. It's time for you to get a life of your own and stop talking about things you know nothing about. It sounds more like you are more interested in the financial apects rather than truly caring about this man and HIS family. Did you ever stop to think that perhaps the allegations were true?

    • Barry on December 14, 2012 at 7:52 PM

      I too was falsely accused of rape. I failed a lie detector because I was so nervous I couldn’t think straight and perhaps because I had just been fired 2 hours before from 100k + job because of the allegations. The State Attorney offered me 5 years felony probation. A week later charges we dropped no DNA evidence and the semen they found matched her boyfriend. This evil bitch tried to come on to me and I rejected her advances. She told 4 different stories and the SAN still pressed on. Thank god for my wife standing by me because I Iost everything except my family!

  50. Contessa on January 20, 2009 at 7:20 PM

    PS That was really poorly written; I can do  better but there is so much pain and rage inside.  I have just spent another night listening to the man I love cry out in his sleep.  My heart is broken and I didn't even know the man when all this was happening…..If *I*, as an outsider at the time, feel this badly and this hurt and this much anger, how much more do you think the falsely accused man feels?

    • DeeCee on December 2, 2011 at 11:40 PM

      Doesn't matter. Society knows men are perverts and women are saints.

    • keen on February 20, 2012 at 7:28 PM

      it is now 160 weeks later and I would place real money that Contessa has left the man that she professed to love so much – no not left, abandoned is more the word.

      • jACK LEWIS on May 26, 2014 at 6:47 PM

        The women who report false claims should have the same jail time of the person they falsely reported. That way the real women would get the real justice they need. Usually all a woman has to do is act bollistic and cry and the police officer usually being male will bellive her IT IS IN THE MAKE UP OF A MAN TO WANT TO PROTECT ESPECILLY A WOMAN. oh hea it happend to me too it cost me a career. My kids know the truth now but what a ride

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