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Request for asylum, on the run for trying to protect my children, Douglas Gray’s story

December 31, 2013

asylumNCFM NOTE:

“His mandate was to protect the government and system from those that wish it harm, not too protect the citizens from illegal actions by those in government.”

email, December 18, 2013: ”


Please consider posting this article.

I am again writing you and still looking for help in reaching a safe haven of political refugee status. No one seem to want to or care about fathers of the world. I am still in need of travel papers that no country I have contacted is will to supply. My landlord is selling my apartment and I will soon be on the streets. Since I have no ID, I can not get another place and soon end up in a jail here in the Philippines where I am sure I will disappear. Please do what you can even if it is only bringing awareness to the massive plight of fathers and their children in the world.


Douglas Gray”

“His mandate was to protect the government and system from those that wish it harm, not too protect the citizens from illegal actions by those in government.”

“The judge asked Pathliar why she refused to allow me to see my son. Her response, ‘He is a man and I am the mother, no rights to him’.”

Feeling persecuted Douglas Alan Gray felt his only option was to escape from the United States of America, his home — so he did, he escaped into dangerous obscurity… His story follows. Since the information has not be vetted some names and information have been redacted. However, Mr. Gray’s contact information is below and if interested in more detail you can ask him for it…

Request for asylum, on the run for trying to protect my children

By Douglas Alan Gray

My family has been violently and persistently persecuted without mercy by members of the American government for over a decade now because I am of the sex that is out of favor and openly discriminated against there.

Since I am a father, I have been threatened with beatings, assaults, imprisonment, death and loss of the right to live or even visit one another by the police, women’s rights advocates, my ex-wife and the courts. Government officials refuse to take any action because they know it is political suicide if they do since the women’s rights movement has become overpowering. Such threats have occurred multiple times in front of my children from less than a year old to 11 before the fear got too much and I fled America 5 years ago.

I respectfully request political asylum in a country that can stand up to the bullying and persuasive tactics the American Government uses. The reasons I fear for my life are described below. This action has been forced upon me because there are those in power in America who have decided to break their own  laws that are in place and ignore others so the outcome of court cases are in their favor. They also use the police force to threaten and implement their illegal actions on helpless victims. I know my children and I are just a few of their unknown victims.

The following are sad but true events of what occurred when I attempted to legally keep custody of my children and raise them in the State of Missouri.  Even when evidence was presented to the courts of crimes and abuse by my ex-wife against me and my son, the judges decided only action against me would be taken. I was told by my lawyers that the women’s movement is too powerful and are needed by the judges and prosecutors to get elected in this state.

The deciding factors that lead me to flee my homeland occurred when the police showed up at my home at 11:48 pm (yes near midnight) February 7, 2008. I was woken up to pounding on my door and the phone ringing.  I noticed the caller ID reported it was the St. Charles Sherriff’s Department. When I answered the phone, they hung up, so I answered the door.  Pounding on the door was Deputy Hawks from the St. Charles Sherriff’s Department demanding I come out of my house. When I refused he started screaming I had no right to go to Washington DC and if I did, I would be arrested. He also yelled that he knew I had threatened to kill “all of congress and I would be stopped at all costs”. He further went on to say that the Capital Police had been informed about me and know my car. If I attempted to go to the nation’s capital to protest my treatment in the Missouri courts, “I would be arrested and could disappear”. He said this with a smirk and his hand on his gun.

Deputy Hawks then threatened me that I would go to jail if I pursued any justice against the ex-senator, Gene Carnahan. I was pursuing charges to be filed against her because she had broken US law in assisting my ex-wife in her efforts to stay in America thru any means. He considered my treatment by the St. Charles and St. Louis Courts appropriate and that I should just live with it.

Deputy Hawks was so loud and belligerent that he woke up not only my daughter, but also the neighbor. Being woken up in the middle of the night and being threatened by a law officer with a gun, who at times seemed emotionally out of control, put the fear of death in me again. This is when I decided to leave my country for fear of my life as soon as possible.

My reason for going to Washington DC was to protest the illegal interference and actions of an ex-senator in the processing of my now ex-wife’s deportation. At no time did I ever threaten anyone. Nor has there ever been any evidence of me making any type of threat against anyone either verbally or in writing. That cannot be said about my ex-wife of those that have illegally helped her.

On February 11, 2008, while at work, I received a phone call from agent Bill Cox of the FBI (636-442-0103). He asked questions about my trip to Washington DC. I informed him I was going there because of the political interference I have received from the Ex-senator Gene Carnahan in respect to my ex-wife’s case. I also told him about what Deputy Hawk did a few nights previously. He denied it occurred until I told him there were witnesses. He then apologized for deputy Hawks actions.

I told Agent Cox what had transpired in the case against my ex-wife and what the court system did. He said he would look into to but not to expect too much, because it was not in his jurisdiction. I never heard from him again.

Later that same day I received a call from Detective Larry Cannon (636-949-3000) who was from the Crisis Intervention Force of St. Louis. He too was concerned about my trip to Washington DC. I told him the same information I told agent Cox. He also apologized for Deputy Hawk’s actions after first denying it occurred. Again he could not investigate the illegal actions that had occurred to me by my ex-wife or those assisting her because it was not in his jurisdiction. His mandate was to protect the government and system from those that wish it harm, not too protect the citizens from illegal actions by those in government.

The ironic thing about this set of events is that on February 7th, the same day as the midnight visit by the out of control Deputy Hawk’s, Deputy Clay from the St. Charles Sherriff’s Department had stopped by my house at 7 pm.  He said he was following up on a report on possible threats obtained from my daughter’s school and was told to investigate it by his superior.

Deputy Clay asked about firearms, doctor I might be seeing, drugs and if I had a record. I informed him I did not own any guns and was not under the care of a doctor other than for stress related to the illegal treatment I had received from the courts. I also did not do drugs and the only record I had was being falsely arrested on domestic assault charges repeatedly by my ex wife. The closes thing to a real record was a speeding ticket back in 1994.

He asked to speak with my daughter in private which lasted just a few minutes then jokingly spoke to me. What seemed weird was he claimed to be the bottom of the totem pole and he was not a man from the secret service or a Man in Black. He also said he would look into the police report I filed against my ex wife when she illegally took my bank account number from my child support check and ran up charges on the internet. Nothing has been done about that robbery by my ex-wife or any other court case against her for her illegal actions while in America.

After years of abuse by my ex-wife, her backers and the illegal actions of the police, I fled my nation on February 15, 2008 for London out of fear for my life. I had to leave behind both of my children. I know life on the run would not be good for them and the police were only after me. While the safety of both of my children have weighed heavy on my mind, at least they will no longer have to endure seeing their father abused by their mothers or threatened by the police nor could they become an accidental casualty if the police carried out their threats.  I knew I did not have much time so I also left most of my worldly possessions behind. This included my 3 bed room duplex, my car, van, motorcycles along with almost all of my household items. After purchasing my plane ticket I had just over $4,500 in my pocket.

I was scheduled to return within a couple of months to Washington DC airport, but changed after being told the police were watching my house for any sign of me. They might be only staying at my old home for 3 minutes, but it was enough time to notice no one was home and make their presence known.

I was also informed by an old neighbor, who had connections in the St. Charles Sheriff’s Department because he was an officer with Mothers Against Drunk Drivers, that there were criminal charges against me and I would be extradited back to America if I was found. No more information was given about me to him. I was told the officer giving the information was instructed not to talk about my case other than that I was on the watch list of terrorists.

While in England I contacted Lord Northbourne. I had read about his efforts to pass laws in England for men’s rights. On Monday February 18, 2008 I went to parliament to see him. The guards were not amused when I asked to see him and told me to go away. The next day I called his office and spoke to him about my situation for 5 minutes. He told me to email him what information I had. This I did. When I did a follow up email a few days later, my email was blocked by a firewall and I have heard nothing from him since.

Not sure what to do, I went to the Home Office. I attempted to apply for political asylum, but was yelled at for doing so by an official there. I was also, very abruptly that I came from a safe country and should return to the airport or go to the US embassy and was told to leave the building when I asked if there was someone else I could talk too..

I then contacted a solicitor in England about political asylum. He looked into my case then got back to me saying that the chances were very slim and would cost more money to try than I had.  This is when I went to the Philippines. I know a few people there and continued my non-violent campaign for justice and my rights to be with my children without being threatened by the US police.

On February 9, 2010 my passport was too expire. I tried to renew it in October of 2009 when a US embassy representative came to Angles City, but I was denied this by my embassy. I was sent a letter that they were keeping my passport and I was only permitted a temporary passport to travel back to America. On December 10, 2010, my Missouri driver’s license expired. I had obtained a Philippine drivers license, but it expired on December 10, 2011. Since that time I have been an undocumented foreigner living in the Philippines. Every day I fear I might be discovered and sent back to America where my future is unknown and in the hands of those wishing I would be silent. I have been told by others that I have met that America issues warrants for their citizens to the Philippines Government for men who are behind in child support payments, which I now am and for many other crimes. For this reason I know I will be handed over to the Americans by the Philippine government if it is discovered who I am.

This downward spiral of my children and my lives began in January 31, 2001. This is the first time I was falsely arrested for domestic violence by Deputy Bishop of the St. Charles Sheriff’s Department.  The false accusations were made by my wife of 1 month, Pathliar. This is a woman I met online and brought back to America from Peru with the intentions of her being my mate.

I went to visit her in Peru and we came to a mutual agreement. We would be married and her son and my daughter would be our family. Pathliar told me her and her son was a packaged deal. I told Pathliar me and my daughter was also a packaged deal. There would be no marriage unless both children were part of it. At that time I had half custody of my daughter. I was told by Pathliar in Peru that her brother was abusive and encouraged me to rush the visa process as much as possible. At one point Pathliar informed me that she had to leave her brothers house and was living elsewhere because of his violent behavior towards her. Pathliar arrived in America in October of 2000. After a month had gone by, Pathliar seemed to be having some trouble adjusting to life here. At one point I took her to Dr, Robert Swan, my family physician. He sent us to a psychiatric clinic in St. Charles. They suggested she be admitted for evaluation, but Pathliar refused this and I took her home.

She later convinced me that her uneasy of living there was because we were not married yet. Under the type of visa she came to America on, it was a requirement that we get married within three months. To help her deal with life here I found a Spanish speaking Catholic Church and took her and Billy there every week on Sunday. I did not understand at the time why she was accepting food from the church each week. I further did not understand why she would just throw the food away once we got home. I did notice that no one at the church would speak to me and always looked at me with disgust.

After 2 months we got married on December 22, 2000. That is when everything changed. Two days went by from the marriage ceremony and Pathliar asked me for a divorce for the first time. She said she was unhappy. This was December 24, 2000.

The following month she would ask for a divorce numerous times saying she wished to leave and go back to Peru. On one occasion I drove her to the airport. She had her ticket in hand but changed her mind. Pathliar also repeatedly told me how bad my 4 year old daughter was and that she had to go live with her mother. This was about the same time she found out she was pregnant. On January 29, 2001 Pathliar gave me a choice, my daughter or her and my unborn child.  I chose my daughter and told her I would file for divorce. I then made the biggest mistake of my life. I also informed her that with a divorce, she would be deported. The following morning I was arrested for domestic violence even thou there was no physical contact between use for weeks.

Pathliar wrote that I had beat her for the last three months on a daily basis and constantly threatened to kill her. This was all a story she made up to take over the house and get me out. The police did not even ask me any questions other than can we come in. They just placed me in handcuffs in front of my 4 year old daughter and took me away. I was not even wearing shoes or a coat but was still taken out in the snow.

I found out later that Pathliar ordered my daughter to her room after I was taken away and not allowing her to leave it until my mother showed up to get her. My mother was in another state and it took 5 hours for her to arrive. In that time my daughter was not given any comfort for seeing her father falsely taken away, water or a bathroom break. She was interrogated by the police, in which has left a scare on her that has lasted to this day. Every time after that, when she sees the police, she would hide from them in fear. At home she would run inside and if we were in the car, she would sink in her seat so they would not see her.

I was charged with domestic assault in the third degree. This was all done on Pathliar’s word. There were no other witnesses to the alleged crimes nor any evident. No bruises were found nor did even the neighbors ever hear any yelling from the house. The court case filed by Pathliar was number 01FC124243 in St. Charles County, MO Civil Courts. Pathliar’s Attorney at the time was Kristi Boardman for the order of protection against me. The court case filed by the State of Missouri against me for domestic assault in the third degree was 01CR-124662. The Assistant Prosecuting Attorney for St. Charles was Carrie M. Johnson.

I was not allowed to come home for 2 weeks. Pathliar found out where I was staying thru a friend of mine from work and called me. She wanted to visit me so we could work things out. I informed her it would be simple. All she had to do was to tell the truth. Pathliar blamed the case against me on the prosecutor and they were forcing her to keep the charges against me. After a court hearing on February 9, 2001, the order of protection was changed, at Pathliar’s request and I was allowed to come home, but my daughter was not allowed by Pathliar. The trial on the charges was dragged out for over year so Pathliar could seek support to gain legal status in America without being married to me. The charges were eventually dropped after constant delays by the court but we were never allowed in the court room. All dealings happened behind closed doors with the attorneys and Pathliar. I was kept waiting outside. The delays included the prosecuting attorney had other appointment, the arresting officer was on vacation and many time no reason was given. More details follow below.

My next court date was March 12, 2001, but my attorney told me not to show up. My appearance was not needed. The case was continued. The next court date was May 7, 2001. This was again continued. The new date was October 15, 2001.

Knowing we needed help, I got us enrolled in Marriage counseling thru the courts. This did not prevent Pathliar from becoming furious and violent. After one of Pathliar violent outbreaks I left home because of her radical behavior, I received a call from the hospital stating Pathliar had been found unconscious at the house by her son hours after I had left. Pathliar had been seen by the neighbors and her son yelling at me when I left. I drove away with her standing in the front yard. When I arrived she had already convinced the staff I was abusive and they arranged for her to go to a woman’s shelter. Just before she was to leave, she changed her mind and asked if I would take her home, which I did. This pattern of seeking attention was now becoming a pattern.

Our appointment on May 14, 2001 with the marriage counselor was not productive. Pathliar was furious about everything and I could do nothing right. My daughter had just come back to live with us. She had been staying with her mother in another state. This upset Pathliar to the point she would go into a rage. The first time it happened, myself, my daughter and Pathliar’s son took refuge in the neighbor’s house and called the police. This occurred on May 15, 2001 and there is a recording by my 911 call. I stayed on the phone with the officer until the police arrived.

Upon their arrival, I told them and showed them the objects Pathliar had throw at me and the children. They told me since I, nor the children were hit, there was nothing they would do. To make matters worse they informed me if they returned that evening I would be taken to jail, again. They then advised me to gather some cloths and leave or else face jail. Yes they then repeated their threat.

This was the 3rd of 4 times my daughter and I had to flee our home and stay in a motel or at a friend’s house because of Pathliar’s unstable and violent actions. On May 16, 2001, Pathliar called me at work threatening to commit suicide. I took her to the emergency room in St. Charles. After 7 hours, she was ready to go to Salvation Army’s Shelter for battered women in St. Peters. I found out by the staff the she was again claiming I was beating her. Once again there was no physical evidence, they were only going on Pathliar’s word and no one asked me anything. After 7 hours in the emergency room, Pathliar decided to go home so I took her and Billy, her son, home.

On May 17, 2001, Pathliar claimed the police questioned her about a report the neighbor made about Pathliar being heard threatening the children in my home. This included her son and my daughter. No one but Pathliar knew anything about this including the children. No police were seen at my home.

When I returned home from work on May 18, 2001, Pathliar was again furious and crying uncontrollably. Pathliar claimed she could not live with me and due to her temper and past violence when she would get this upset; I took Pamela and left for a motel again.

The following day I went to see my lawyer about a divorce. I was informed the motion could not be filed till after the baby was born. This is when I moved into the basement room in my home to sleep. I also called the INS for the first time. I spoke to Agent Wensink 314-539-2539 ext 257. She informed me that nothing could be done until the divorce was final. She also informed me that what occurred to me is very common with foreign women who marry American men. A majority of them are deported once the divorce was final and to inform her when this occurred.

On May 27, 28 and 29th, Pathliar threatened to call the police on me because she wanted a divorce. After that I just stayed in the basement while at home. Venturing upstairs, for any reason seemed to set Pathliar off in a fury so it was avoided.

On June 1, 2001, Billy hit Pamela and left a mark. He was 11 years old and Pamela was 4. He also outweighed her by over 100 pounds. Pathliar told me Pamela deserved being hit. Pamela then began to live with me in the basement. The next day Pamela went to her room upstairs and was again hit by Billy. I told Pathliar if it happened again I was calling the police and Billy would be taken away. On June 3, 2001 Pathliar packed her bags and threw them to the bottom of the stairs leaving a big hole in the wall. She also wrote a letter claiming she did not want to live anymore and would kill my unborn child.  I called our marriage counselor and set up the soonest appointment to see her as permitted.

On June 4, 2001, I took Pathliar to our marriage counselor. On the way to the meeting, Pathliar attempted to jump out of the truck. She opened the door but had her seatbelt on.  It was another obvious plea for attention. When we arrived, I told the counselor what Pathliar had just attempted to do and handed her the letter Pathliar wrote about wanting to die and killing my unborn child. I was then instructed by our counselor to take Pathliar to Washington University Hospital and then on to St Louis University Hospital. After 5 hours in the emergency rooms, Pathliar was admitted to the psyche ward for observation.  Both of those hospitals were in the city of St. Louis.

Our counselor told me she knew Pathliar was making up the abuse charges but she was also a great actress.  She told me that if Pathliar was to talk to anyone first, they would hate me without question and I had to protect myself at all costs. With that advice I filed for an order of protection against Pathliar.

On June 5, 2001, the order of protection against Pathliar was granted by the St. Charles Court for 2 weeks.  Pathliar was informed about the order of protect but the police refused to server her unless she showed up at my residence.  The St. Charles County Case number was 01FC125395.

Defying the order of protect, Pathliar called my home 26 times in 3 hours on June 8, 2001. The police refused to take any action against her.

On June 9, 2001 Pathliar showed up at my home. I called the police and Pathliar was severed with the order of protection. She was also instructed never to visit or call me by the police. Pathliar said she had no money so I gave her $60 and she collected her cloths and left.

On June 10, 2001 Pathliar called again claiming she was being kicked out of the hospital in St. Louis from the number 636-724-9628. Since I knew that was a St. Charles number, I knew she had already found another place to stay.

On June 20, 2001 an order of protection was granted to me by the St. Charles Courts. The term would last 1 year.  Pathliar was told to stop calling me and that she could not go to my place of work or residence. That night I received another 11 calls from Pathliar this time the numbers were 314-351-2843 and 314-351-6082. I decided to start recording Pathliar’s phone calls as a mean of protection against her false accusations.

June 22, 201 3 more calls from Pathliar. I told my lawyer about the phone calls and he advised me to just live with it.  More calls from Pathliar on June 30, July 2. On July 4th Pathliar had called my friend Randy and told him my baby had heart disease and she needed money and she planned to leave the country and return to Peru. This was before my son was even born.

A court hearing on July 12, 2001 was continued. No reason was given. This was the case against Pathliar for her violent and illegal behavior. The next court date given was September 10, 2001. For a woman to have been suspected of being abused, the prosecuting attorney would press charges against a defendant. If it is a female that does the abuse the man has to pay for an attorney and no formal charges are allowed to be filed in St. Charles I was told by my attorney.

In August of 2001 my son was born. I found out because Pathliar called on August 8, 2001 demanding money. I reread the order of protection baring her from contacting me. I then asked for a place to send her money. I sent you $100 and would send more the following payday. When I asked to see my son Pathliar said I would see him someday. I then contacted my lawyer about seeing my son and filing for the divorce papers. He informed me he would file the motion but the need was not urgent since babies only puke and shit when they are that young. I told him I wanted to see my son as soon as possible. He acted unconcerned.

On August 11, 2001 I received another call from Pathliar claiming my son was sick and she demanded more money before she hung up. On August 15, 2001 I sent Pathliar another $500.

It took until August 31, 2001 for the papers seeking divorce to be files officially by St. Charles County Courts. The case number was 01FC126325.

On September 10, 2001, the hearing for the case against Pathliar abuse towards me was continued. The reason given was that there was no interpreter for Pathliar. The attorney for Pathliar seemed unsure whose duty it was to supply the interpreter, her’s or the courts. By then the Prosecuting Attorney had gotten married and was now going by the name Carrie M. Barth. The abuse case against Pathliar was now combined with the divorce case. This included me seeking full custody of my son. I had yet to even see a picture of him let alone face to face. Pathliar claimed I had no rights to him.

The court date for the charges against me was October 15, 2001, but this court date was continued by the Assistant Prosecuting Attorney request because the arresting officer, Deputy Bishop would be out of town on vacation. The case was continued till until November 19, 2001.

On September 14 and 15th Pathliar used her friend to call my neighbor asking him to ask me for money.  Again Pathliar called me asking for money but refusing to allow me to see my son on September 25, 2001. On September 26, 2001 Pathliar had called me 4 times at work before 7:30 am. She claimed her brother sent her money and she was leaving the country with my son. She would also sign the divorce papers but she did not have a lawyer. I informed my lawyer what Pathliar had said and he told me she had a lawyer and had refused to sign the divorce papers. When Pathliar called that same afternoon, I just hung up on her.

On November 26, 2001 at 5:01 pm Pathliar called (314-423-1212) me claiming my son was in the hospital not breathing and they were taking blood. At 6:42 pm Pathliar called back claiming my son was throwing up and had a fever. She also asked me to speak to the doctor. Pathliar then claimed there were no doctors in the emergency room. At 7:09 pm I received a call from a nurse. My son had received 50 mL of IV and look fine but did have a slight fever. The nurse also said my son had no visible signs of abuse at that time.

At 12:35 am on November 27th, Pathliar called me up, waking me from sleep. She did nothing but screaming and I could not understand anything she was saying so I hung up. She called back at 12:37 am and I managed to calm her down. I noticed when she was upset, my son would cry in the background. This was the first physical evidence of my son that I had received. Once Pathliar was calm, so was my son. Pathliar did not stay calm for long and continually went back to screaming so I just hung up and unplugged the phone.

On December 10, 2001 the case I had filed against Pathliar for abuse, custody of my son and divorce was continued again.

On January 7, 2002, the charges of domestic assault were dropped against me if I would agree to attend a group meeting with the topic of abuse. I agreed to the 26 meetings this class was scheduled for. At the same time, a meeting for Pathliar and I to meet with an intervention counselor was set up.

In January of 2002, Pathliar had called me several times but there was nothing resolved. She was only looking for sympathy and refused to accept accountability for her illegal and immoral acts. She was still claiming it was the prosecuting attorney that refused to drop the charges. My attorney confirmed that it was Pathliar that was refusing to drop the charges and she was the one pushing to have me punished.

On January 21, 2002, Pathliar called me at work. The time was 3:50 pm. She claimed the priest at the church where she was living, was kicking her out and the children out. She said the priest was mad at her and that the staff refused to talk to her. She again asked for another chance to make things work out between us. I reminded her of the only path for that to happen. She would have to correct the massive injustice she committed by making the false claim that I had abused her by making a legal statement to the police that all of the charges she filed against me were false.  She said she would, but it never occurred.

On Wednesday January 23, 2002 the meeting with a counselor for intervention was held. This was being held to arrange visitation for me to meet my son and have regular visitation with him. The counselor decided to end intervention because Pathliar had flat out refused to allow me to see my son unless I would take her back. She was still claiming to have been abusive. These two points from Pathliar confused the counselor.

The following Wednesday I began the first of 26 weekly classes. On the following Monday, February 4, 2002 I again met with my attorney, Bob Adler about seeing my son and why the divorce hearing was delayed again. He told me he would file the appropriate papers and to forget about filing charges against Pathliar for her crimes. I argued with him, but he reminded me that the civil courts were a place of business, not justice and no criminal charges could be filed against Pathliar because she was a suspected victim of domestic violence.

While at work on Friday February 8, 2002, Pathliar called me again. The first time was at 8:00 am. At first she went into her old routine of claiming she wanted to stay married and that my son had asthma. I told her to take him to our doctor, but she refused. She claimed she did not like Dr. Swan. I again told her that was impossible because of her constantly lying, she then informed me she was leaving the country with my son and heading back to Peru. This upset me to the point I became ill. Pathliar kept calling 8:34, 9:49 only to cry and beg to stay married. I refused to answer the phone at this point, but the calls kept coming, 9:52, 9:53, 9:55, 9:55, 9:56 and 10:00 am.

February 12, 2002 at 1:45 pm, Pathliar called me at work again. She claimed my son was sick and she had no money.  She again refused to take him to the doctor. I reminded her again that Jim, my son, has medical insurance, but she responded with “what insurance”. I knew this was an act since she had already been given the insurance card at a previous court date by her attorney. I told her I had an appointment with the doctor in less than two hours and would take him, but she refused. I was seeing the doctor because the situation with Pathliar and not seeing my son had upset me to the point I was having difficulty keeping any food down. I was given medicine to calm my nerves and to reduce the acid in my stomach.

On February 25, 2002 there was another hearing involving the custody of my son. The new case number was 013-126325. Pathliar’s new attorney was now L. Jack Jaworski. Pathliar was contesting my claim for custody but demanding that I provide an insurance card for my son. She claimed a copy of one was not sufficient. I asked my insurance company for another card and then I forwarded it thru the lawyers to Pathliar. I had still never seen my son or even a picture of him at this point.

March 11, 2002 the divorce case and visitation rights hearing were postponed again Division 9 in St. Charles Civil Court. On March 21, 2002, the divorce case along with visitation was finally heard. The judge decided only the custody portion would be heard that day since Pathliar attorney was not ready for the divorce side of the case or the abuse charges against her. It was another delay. The reason I found out later was to allow Pathliar time to obtain citizenship in America. Pathliar was also granted child support payments of $607 at this time and I was given half custody of my son.  The new trial date was set for May 13, 2002 in Division 10 of St. Charles County Courts.

The judge asked Pathliar why she refused to allow me to see my son. Her response, “He is a man and I am the mother, no rights to him”. Pathliar also claimed I could not take care of my son because I was a man. This upset the judge because of the blatant prejudice Pathliar was showing men and fathers rights. The judge asked me if I could change a diaper. I told him yes. He then ordered Pathliar to let me see my son on visitation. It was arranged for my mother and a lady from my church, Linda Gentry, another registered nurse to pick up my son from Pathliar. Pathliar’s attorney was give both names and allowed to meet both of them and it was agreed this would be the procedure.

On March 23, 2002, 7 ½ months after my son was born I was given 4 hours with him. My mother came down from out of state to pick him up from Pathliar to avoid any further problems with Pathliar and the lies she would tell the police. It was decided by the attorneys that only 4 hours of visitation in the beginning to allow my son time to adjust to the new surroundings and new people around him. Then the hours would be extended.

My mother was a registered nurse and noticed when we unwrapped my son that he just laid there. She told me this was unusual unless he was always wrapped up. I noticed Jim did not know how to roll over or crawl, he just laid there. We held him and help to show him he could move. I then realized this would take time.

On March 30, 2002 my mother again picked up my son, Jim at 9 am for my 4 hour visitation. He still had trouble moving, but he showed interest in it. On April 6, 2002, Linda Gentry went to get my son from Pathliar, but Pathliar refused to allow for the exchange. Pathliar claimed only my mother could pick up my son.  Linda Gentry was a registered nurse and friend from my church. She said Pathliar had screamed at her claiming I had owed her money and Pathliar threatened to physically hurt her. She was too scared to attempt to pick up my son again.  I called the police, but they informed me their hands were tied and they would not assist me with enforcing the court order. My attorney was then notified. The claim about my checks was also false and Pathliar knew this since the checks were clearing thru my bank and the money was being taken out of my account. Linda was one of the people identified thru the courts and the lawyers as being eligible to pick up my son for me. My mother lived almost 200 miles away and could not make it to the exchange every week.

It was then arranged thru the attorney’s that my attorney’s secretary, Jackie would meet with Pathliar to pick up my son. On April 13, 2002, Jackie went to pick up my son but Pathliar was a no show. Pathliar’s attorney was again contacted. On April 16, 2002, Pathliar’s attorney filed a formal motion to withdraw as her counsel. The reason given in the courts papers filed on April 16 was “he and respondent have encounters significant problems in working together to such an extent that counsel can no longer represent the respondent.  My lawyer told me Pathliar’s lawyer told him that he could no longer represent Pathliar because of her total disregard for the law and agreements she made in court. Because of Pathliar’s refusal to make the exchange of my son, Contempt of Court charges were filed against Pathliar. This was added to the docket as part of the dissolution of marriage case.

The following Saturday, April 20, 2002, Jackie came back from the pickup with my son. I had him from 9 am till 5 pm. Again on April 27 everything went according to plan and I got to see my son for 8 hours. By this time he was rolling and starting to crawl. He appeared to be happy with me and my daughter. He would giggle and smile constantly. On May 4, 2002 was Jim’s first overnight with me. Again Jackie picked him up and the next day at 10 am she took him back.

May 6, 2002 I had a doctor’s appointment to deal with the lack of feeling in my left arm. I was told about how my nerves were basically shot from all the stress I was under and I needed surgery to possibly relieve the pressure on the nerve in my elbow.

On May 11, 2002 Jackie again returned with my son and took him back the following day. Jim was use to me and had accepted his new family. He was really moving around now.

May 13, 2002 divorce court again was postponed. It was arranged by the attorneys that I would begin to pick up my son at a McDonalds near were Pathliar lived. I would also receive custody of Jim during the week for a day. To protect myself I would record each exchange with a video camera and a cassette recorder. The following day Pathliar called me at work at 7:10 am and told me I could pick up Jim at that time. I was at work and could not get him.

On Wednesday May 15, 2002 Pathliar called me 3 times at work before 8:15 am. I ran out of tape so I did not answer her calls. She then called me at home at 5:20 pm. She informed me she would not allow me to pick up my son on Thursday because she wanted to take Jim to the circus on Thursday and Friday. I agreed to missing Thursday but not to Friday. I picked up Jim at 4:00 pm on Friday with the meeting being recorded both by audio and video devices at the McDonalds. I returned him at 6:00 pm on Monday at the same place.

The next 4 weeks of exchanges were uneventful. Because of this I did not renew the order of protection I had against Pathliar. This proved to be a mistake in the near future. I was also still attending the court ordered meetings. At the 18th meeting on June 12, 2002 I was asked to leave. At each meeting all participants were asked to describe why they were there by the meeting leader Don. Each week I would say the same thing; my ex-wife lied to the courts so she could stay in America and falsely pressed charges against me. Each of the preceding meetings he would seem to be upset with me. This day he blew up. He told me to confess to abusing my wife or I was wasting his time and I would go to jail. I told him again that is what happened and I never hit my wife or any other woman. He then ordered me to leave the meeting and to never return. I informed my attorney, Mr. Adler about what occurred and never heard anything else about the classes from that point on.

On Monday June 17, 2002 I was called by Jeanette (314-504-1856) at 11:07 am from the WDAA. She asked me to take Pathliar back as my wife and allow her to live with me. I informed her about what Pathliar had done and for that reason I did not feel safe in her presents so reconciliation was out of the question. Pathliar called me at 11:18 am begging to stay married to me. I refused. She called back again at 12:02pm and 12:27pm but I did not answer the phone. At 1:12 pm I answered Pathliar’s call. Pathliar apologized for her behavior and lying to the courts. She also understood we would never be together again and that she would take my son to Peru and I would never see him again. I received my planned visitation on Thursday without any problems. This weekend Jim was to stay will Pathliar.

Monday June 24, 2002 another divorce court hearing. The divorce was granted but none of the filings against Pathliar’s for contempt of court were heard and continued but no court date was given. I then notified the INS and agent Wensink. She informed me that her supervisor had taken Pathliar’s case papers and that she was informed to have no further contact with me. Ms Wensink then told me for that to occur, a high powered politician must have become involved and she wished me luck because it appeared Pathliar would not be deported.

The custody exchange with my son was uneventful until September 6 2002. On this day I received a sick son who was running a temperature. Pathliar called me up after the exchange and asked to stop by because she must have left her keys in the diaper bag. At 8:38 pm Pathliar and a woman identified as Mary showed up at my house. I gave the bag to Mary and she found the keys. Pathliar appeared to act strange, maybe intoxicated. Jim’s fever was gone by Sunday. The following Friday Jim had a temperature again when I picked him up. I took care of him and the fever was gone the next day. On Monday at the exchange Pathliar again acted out of control with wild accusations and violent moves. Then in an instant she calmed down and claimed it was just a joke.

The following day September 17, 2002 Pathliar called me at work at 8:00 am and ordered me to take my son to his doctor appointment the following Monday. I informed her I had jury duty and could not do it. That is when she told me I did not love my son. Pathliar also informed me she had obtained a visa to stay in America and that she was getting married. She wished me to be happy. I responded that I would be happy once God judges her after she passes away. At that point in time I was use to her games and would not fall for them anymore. I also had no pity for her anymore. At 4:20 pm that same day Officer Pierson called me at work saying Pathliar called them making the claim I was threatening to kill her. I told him the conversation was recorded and he could listen to it if he wanted too. He declined my offer. Pathliar called me three more times that same day once I was home but I just let the phone ring.

My doctor had told me to get my son’s medical records from the places Pathliar was taking him. I called Pathliar on September 18, 2002 at 7:50am but she refused to give me written permission for the records. At 8:08am she called me back and agreed to give written permission and the phone numbers to the doctors where she had taken my son. As a backup I also had notes from my attorney along with legal court documents showing I had half custody of my son.  That Friday the exchange went with no problems and I had started to take Beth as a witness. She was the girlfriend of my friend Tony.

I had Jim for Friday September 27, 2002. This was the first of many times Jim was constipated. This time I had to actually help him go because it was like little rock balls coming out. It is things like this that only a parent would do. It was also apparent that Pathliar was feeding him too much solid food. She would later admit to this saying it was better for him. My doctor and mother both told me to feed him formula and baby food, not solid food adults eat.

I took Jim back as scheduled and informed Pathliar about his constipation. At 9:28 am I received a call from Dr. Plurad’s office. Pathliar has shown up without an appointment and insisted Jim be seen immediately by the doctor. Dr. Plurad office told me they did not want Pathliar back at their office because of her unstable behavior and that if Jim was to come there again. I was to bring him. This was recorded. Pathliar then took Jim to the emergency room. These doctor visits were not about his constipation but because he had a cough. I was later informed by Dr. Plurad’s office that Pathliar was not giving Jim the right medicine and she was claiming Jim had no insurance so it was being covered by Medicare.

On September 30, 2002 Pathliar called me at 6:47 pm to informed me that she was not giving Jim his asthma medicine because she gave it to her other son, Billy. She went on to say she had a US visa and we were not married, that she was now Ms Carnahan’s girl  and she hung up very upset. I called her back at 8:00 pm and was told that Jim would not get any more asthma medicine and that she was taking Jim to a new doctor the next day. I called the next day to find out what the new doctor said but only got the answering machine.

The next exchange on October 4, 2002 was peaceful. Pathliar did not say a word.  That next Monday when I dropped off Jim I asked Pathliar about the doctor’s appointment. Pathliar told me that since I was recording the exchange that I had to call her lawyer. Beth again was present.

The next exchange on Friday October 11, 2002, Pathliar again was in a foul mood. She gave me the medicine from the new doctor’s office. It was expired. The contact information about the new doctor’s office was Nancy at La Clinica 3646 Fairview St. Louis, Missouri 63116-4247 (314-664-5565) (fax 314-773-0709) which I found on the medicine bottle. At 6:35 pm Pathliar called me but I was still in route from the exchange. The exchange was 45 minutes from my home. In the next hour from 7 to 8, Pathliar called three times wanting to talk. She again informed me that she was getting married to a police officer and had a great life. She also told me that the social worker told her she did not have to worry about her case of Medicare fraud. It was ok.

I called Dr. Swan and told him the medicine I was given to give Jim. He told me not to give him expired medicine. Pathliar called back the following day saying she understood not to give Jim the new medicine. Dr. Swan also told me to collect all of the medical reports from all of the clinics Jim was treated at. When I visited La Clinica I found it was a free clinic for people without insurance. When I showed them Jim’s insurance card, they realized Pathliar had been lying to them when she claimed Jim or her had any insurance. They also commented that the abuse she told them that I had inflicted upon her must have also been a lie. I confirmed it.  I dropped off Jim on Monday October 14, 2002 and explained what Dr. Swan had said. Pathliar then informed me Jim had his one year check up on Friday

On Monday October 21, 2002 when I dropped off Jim, Pathliar informed me she was filing for an order of protection against me for allegedly threatening to kill her. The next day Pathliar called me informing me that she had taken my son to Dr. Swan It was the first time they had seen my son in over a year.  This is when it was found out that the one year check up was with the mobile unit of the local children’s hospital. Pathliar claimed not to have any insurance or money so they did the exam for free.

On October 24, 2002, I was served with an order of protection at my work to stay away from Pathliar. She had filled another false police report. The case was number 023-4921. This was with the Missouri Circuit Court, 22 Judicial Circuit in St. Louis, Missouri.

On Friday October 25, 2002 the exchange for Jim was done with no words being exchanged. That following Monday, Pathliar brought a macho man with her at the exchange.  He threatened to kick my ass screaming I was a scum bag that beat women while I was holding my son. Diane, my neighbor was with me as a witness along with my 6 year old daughter. I gave the tape of the exchanges to my lawyer showing I had made no threats against Pathliar, but she had made threats against me and brought a violent man to the exchanges.

The next three exchanges went without incident. On November 20, 2002 I had to appear in St. Louis City courts on the false allegations Pathliar had filed. When my case came up I was told all charges had been dismissed. I asked to be heard by the judge on the filing of charges against my then ex-wife for filing false charges. I was told by the judge if I wanted to speak there was a corner out in the street I could have my fill but not to bother him. Again the system did not want to take any action against a woman that made false claims and filed false police reports. This was even when there was evidence against her proving it.

November 22, 2002, Pathliar again gave me Jim who was sick with fever. That following Monday November 25, Pathliar again had the threatening man with her. Again he threatened to kick my ass and called me all kinds of bad names in front of both my son and my daughter. My daughter, Pamela was very scared and I called 911 and the police showed up at the Mc Donalds. All of this on tape but the police refused to identify the man or take any action against him or Pathliar. It appeared the officers recognized him, but they would not confirm this, they just looked at me and suggested that we move the exchange to the local police station.

November 29, 2002, Pathliar showed up at the exchange with Mary. I received Amoxicillin and Phenchor Tannoil suspension to give Jim. The following Monday, I took Jim to see Dr. Swan for a medical checkup. By then he had all of the medical records I had to collect from all of the different clinics Pathliar had taken my son. This upset Pathliar immensely when I told her.

The following Friday, December 6, I picked up Jim. It was only 37F outside and Jim did not have a coat on. I had provided Jim with a snowsuit to cover him from head to toe. Pathliar said it was not cold enough for him to wear it. That Monday when I gave Jim back to Pathliar, she gave me back the snowsuit claiming she did not need it anymore for Jim.

That next Wednesday Pathliar called at 1:05 pm claiming she would be late on Friday. She called again the next day stating too many people were involved in our lives and she would not be on time for the exchange and hung up. Luckily I always showed up early for the exchanges because this time Pathliar did also. She was surprised to see me thinking I would be late because she had told me she would be. Jim again was only dressed in a light coat. He also smelled of colon. This covering of colon was a pattern Pathliar and Billy had established when they decided not to bath. This way their body odor would not be detected. I learned this back when Pathliar and Billy had lived with me. I dropped off Jim the following Monday in the winter suit I bought for him so he could remain warm.

On December 19, 2002 I was again in the St. Louis City Courts, Division 14 to answer false charges filed by Pathliar. The charges again were dropped. When I pleaded for the judge to have the violent man Pathliar kept brining to the exchange to be identified and charges brought up against him and Pathliar, the judge just dismissed the case against me and refused to hear anything about Pathliar’s illegal activities.  The judge told me “I do not have time to waste on that, case dismissed”. It was then decided that the exchange would occur at the local police station near the McDonalds by the lawyers until arrangements could be made with a place called Heritage House. This was supposedly a place set up for the safe exchange of children.

On December 31, 2002 I was notified by my attorney, Mr. Adler that the hand written documents that were submitted by both attorneys in the dissolution of marriage case was now official. Mr. Adler told me Pathliar’s attorney took the files and said she was going to have them typed up. This never occurred. In a document sent to me by Mr. Adler it states that “This was done by the court itself, out of frustration with the attorney for your ex-wife”.

Heritage House was run by the Women’s rights movement in St. Louis City. I also was told by my lawyer’s secretary that the head administrator was a known man hater. I had tried to contact Heritage House and set up an appointment to start the exchanges there but as of January 23, 2003; they had still not responded or were present when I had called.

The next few exchanges were uneventful. Our exchange was moved from the McDonalds parking lot to the local police station. On January 24, 2003 the violent man was with Pathliar again in the police station. While holding my son in my arms and shielding my daughter behind me this man threaten to kick my ass again, screamed how much of a scum bag he thought I was. He then told me he would be waiting down the street to kick my ass. Both of my children were crying. I asked the police in the station for help but was told but the officers in the front area of the station “Sounds like you have a personal problem”. Every police officer then walked away and allowed the treats to continue. I then realized the lobby was empty of any on duty police officers. It was like they did not want to be called as witness to the crime being committed by one of their own. This is when I really knew the bully was a police officer. They are the only ones in America allowed to be violent in a police station. My son was less than 2 years old and my daughter was only 6 when they had to endure this violent scene right in front of them. This event just added to the fear my daughter has towards the police.

A letter from Heritage House was dated September 24, 2003 with a title head of Provident Counseling was received to be by mail. It set up an appointment for an interview with me at Heritage House on February 5, 2003. It was signed by Barbara E. Flory, the Project Coordinator.

On January 27, 2003 I was called by Pathliar on the phone. She wanted to make the child exchange at her house. I told her no because I needed a safe place with witnesses for the exchange.

Pathliar called back and admits I was so scared I was visibly shaking when she came to the police station with the violent man. Then Pathliar says, “I kill everybody”.

Pathliar states she does not want to make the exchange at a police station and she wants sympathy. She then tells me the violent man is my son’s father and named him after him. “You are not her husband and you are nothing to me” Pathliar went on to say.

I called the police station where the exchange takes place and tried to report Pathliar’s threat but I was told, “Do not waste my time” and hung up on by the officer that answered the phone. That night I went to make the exchange and was arrested for making an alleged threat to kill Pathliar, solely on her word. My son was taken by his mother.

My daughter was with me and I was handcuffed in front of my children then taken into the back of the police station. The arresting officer was Officer Pamela. His first statement to me after he placed me under arrest was “Ever since OJ, have had to deal with you scum bags on a daily basis”. The shock from my daughter’s face is one I will never forget.  She heard the threats from Pathliar and knows I tried to file a report but was refused to do so by the police. I informed the officer that I had the conversation recoded and it was in my truck, but he refused to listen to it. He claimed I invented the tapes and that a woman would never lie about something like this. He then added that he just did not care.

After the report was filed I was released along with my daughter and given a court date.  I gave the tape of the conversation when Pathliar had threatened to kill everyone to my lawyer and showed up for court and was then told again that the charges had been already dropped. They just forgot to inform me.

I then had the court date for the false filing of charges that I had threatened Pathliar in the parking lot. Again the video and audio evidence was available to the courts but ignored. The charges were dropped by the judge in this St. Louis court room. When I asked the judge about submitting the evidence and brining Pathliar up on the same charges she made against me with no evidence, the states, “ I do not have time for that, case dismissed”.

While using the Heritage House Site, I was refused my son many times by order of the official there Barbra Flory. I was not allowed entry and my court order custody was denied without just cause.  Eventually they were to be determined unsuited by the attorneys involved for the exchange and the court ordered another site to be used for the exchange.

For most of the rest of the year the exchanges went uneventful. While Pathliar was mouthy at times, it was not illegal, just made the situation uncomfortable for the children. On October 13, 2003 Pathliar called me to inform me that she no longer wanted to make the exchanges at Heritage House or the police station. I again reminded her that I need to have a safe place for the exchange because of her violent past. Pathliar also told me my son was still not talking just babbling a few words, (Pathliar description).  Pathliar was going to take him to a specialist.

On Wednesday October 15, 2003 I was informed that Pathliar would not allow me my court ordered custody on that Friday. That Friday I showed up at the police station anyway, but Pathliar and my son never showed up. It was then arranged by the lawyers for me to pick up my son at Heritage House the following day at 10.15 am. I was also informed I was the only one allowed to pick up my son. They also told me Pathliar could arrange to have others pick up my son and not even be present. I reminded them that Pathliar was the abuser and I was the one who had requested this protection, they scuffed at me. I also noticed only men had to pay the fee for the exchange. Women, even thou it was court ordered for them to also pay, were not being forced to pay the weekly fee for using the facility.

The next event occurred on November 17, 2003. Pathliar was a no show again at Heritage House. As I was leaving Pathliar showed up and I gave my son to her at my car in the parking lot. When I dropped of Jim the following week on Monday, I reminded Pathliar that Thursday was Thanksgiving and it was my holiday to have him. Pathliar told me to talk to her lawyer as she smiled big time.  Again Pathliar was a no show for my court ordered holiday with my son. I did not get him until November 30, 2003. Two days after Thanksgiving.

On December 8, 2003 I was asked to pick up my son early in Christmas because Pathliar was leaving the state and going to California. I agreed. On December 13, 2003, I was called by Heritage House and told I had to pick up my son early that day or not be allowed to see my son this weekend. This was the message from the person representing Heritage House.

On December 27, 2003, I received a call from Pathliar at 9:55 am, informing me not to return my son to her that day as scheduled. She also told me she had canceled her trip to California. The following day Pathliar called to make sure Jim did not have the flu and to inform me she was getting married to the man she had been living with for the past 2 years.

On December 31, 2003, Pathliar called me to inform me she had the flu and also had to work so she would not be there on Saturday to pick up Jim.  I gave Jim back to Pathliar on January 5, 2004 with no problems. On January 7, 2004, Pathliar asked if I could pick up Jim the following day. I asked her about reimbursing me for the childcare bill I paid. It was her responsibility to pay it out of the child support I was paying. The day care told me they would no longer accept my son if I did not pay it so I did. Pathliar refused to reimburse me. The next day Pathliar canceled my pick up with my son so I did not get him until January 10, 2004 at 10:15 am.

On January 19, 2004, when I was returning my son to Pathliar, a court official was present and severed Pathliar with the court documents for her contempt of court.  The next few exchanges occurred where Pathliar did not say even one word.  On January 30, 2004 at 9:00 am, Court for Pathliar’s contempt of court case was in division 4 of St. Charles County. It was continued.

A child being sick is common when they are young. My son seemed to be sick more than usual, but my doctor told me there was nothing I could do unless I could get full custody of him. On February 21, 2004 I picked up my son at 10:15 am. Pathliar did not say a word. At 1:05 pm Jim had thrown up all over me when I was holding him checking out his condition. His temperature was 101.2F. The following Monday Jim did not want to return to his mother. This was the first of many times he begged to stay with me. I had to pry his hands off of me so the exchange could occur. It broke my heart, but I know if I did not do it, I would be arrested. This was policy in the St, Louis area as regards to custody. The police only enforce a mother’s rights, not the fathers. This was confirmed by a St. Louis police officer.

February 27, 2004, I showed up at Heritage House for the scheduled exchange. Jenny, the representative at Heritage House told me Pathliar did not show up and it was her (Jenny’s) fault for the mix up. Jenny then tried to call Pathliar at home, but Pathliar refused to make the exchange. It was then scheduled for the following day.  This did occur. I was then told to bring back Jim on Tuesday March 2, 2004. Since Heritage House would not be open I was informed to use the police station. This did occur at 5:55 pm on the appointed date.

On March 13, 2004 I picked up Jim. He had a Black eye. He told me his mother hat hit him with her fist. I reported this to my doctor and my lawyer and took pitcures. Nothing was done about it. I was informed since my son’s life was not in danger; there would be no charges against Pathliar.

On March 15, 2004 Pathliar’s contempt of court case in division 4 in St. Charles County Courts was postponed again. My lawyer again told me nothing would be done about my son’s bruise. Upon leaving the hearing I overheard my lawyer, Mr. Adler talking to Mrs. Busch, my son’s lawyer that he was there because I did not get along with women. In the elevator ride down out of the court house Mr. Adler told Prosecutor Buehler the same thing. He was only there because I did not get along with women. I confronted him about is comments and his manner of representing me. He told me to pay him $1,000 to talk to him. I then realized a portion of the problems I was having with the judgments going in favor of Pathliar was due to the lack of good representation by my lawyer.

To get it recorded about the bruise I then took my son to the hospital in St. Charles so there would be a recorded of the abuse.  Later that day Pathliar called me up threatening me again and demanding a payment of $1,500. I was current with my child support so I refused. That night I dropped off Jim at the police station. Pathliar had two people with her but not a word was spoken.

On Wednesday March 17, 2004, I was told by Heritage House that their administrator, Ms, Flores would contact me about the pickup time for my son. It never happened so I went at the scheduled time on Saturday March 20, 2004 at 10:15 am. No problems.

On Monday March 29, 2004 I took my son to Dr. Swan to have him looked over. All seemed ok and there were no further signs of abuse. On Thursday of that week I received a letter in the mail from Heritage House singed by Ms. Flores refusing me permission to pick up my son at their facility that Friday.  No explanation just that the exchange would not occur there. I did get my son on Saturday April 3, 2004. I picked him up at the police station at 10:15 am.

On Monday April 5, 2004 Pathliar called me at 8:43 am while I was at work. We talked about the bruise on Jim’s eye and I told her I took him to the ER and it was recorded. She then admitted to hitting him. This was recorded.

Friday April 9, 2004 I kept my appointment for a new lawyer at Cordell and Cordell but no final decision was made yet.

On Friday April 23, 2004 I received a message from Pathliar to call her. When I did, she informed me she was taking my son back to Peru and I would never see him again. The following day I picked up Jim as scheduled without any words spoken by Pathliar or myself. On Monday April 26, 2004, Pathliar showed up at the exchange with a lady that had short hair. No name given. Jim again looked mad at me because I was returning him to his mother. His discontent with living with his mother was now becoming clearly evident.  That next Friday, April 30, 2004 Jim again had an injury to his left eye. There was a scratch under the band aid and he again said his mother had hit him.

I picked Jim up on schedule the next Friday. I brought him back on Sunday so he could spend Mothers day with his mother. The court order allowed him to be with his mother from 9 am to 9 pm. I informed Pathliar that Jim should be in bed at that time and it did not make sense to bring him back that night since I was to bring him back the following day. She agreed and kept him.

On Monday May 10, 2004 was Pathliar’s court date for her contempt of court again in division 4 of St. Charles County. No lawyers including Mr. Adler showed up and it was continued again. Pathliar was scared she would be held accountable for her actions by the courts and go to jail along with feared retribution from Heritage House because she was unwilling to use them. She then asked me to pick up Jim because she was sick. I picked up Jim at the police station at 5:15 pm that evening.

The next exchange occurred on May 17, 2004. The short haired lady was back driving a green 618 CTX. I gave Pathliar the medicine the doctor had prescribed and asked for half the payment in accordance to the court papers. She refused to reimburse me again even thou I presented the receipt.

Pathliar called me up on June 2, 2004 and informed me the next exchange would occur at Heritage House on Friday. When I showed up, I was denied my son again. The, Heritage House decided to change the schedule and ignore the court ordered schedule for the summer. I was told I could only pick up my son on Sunday at 7:15am. I was told to return him in 2 weeks on Sunday again at 7:15am.

Because of all the problems with the court system and their refusal to charge Pathliar with any of the crimes she had committed I contacted the Missouri Commission on Human Rights on Monday June 7, 2004. I spoke to Gale Foster (314-340-4772).  She directed me to the US Justice Department, Civil Rights division. I called 202-514-2000 and spoke to Ms. Butler. After I explained what was going on and the video and audio tapes I had as evidence, she told me to mail everything to her to 10th and Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC, 20530.

Because of the problems with Heritage House, the lawyers got involved again. It was then scheduled for me to drop off Jim at the police station at 10:00 am on Monday June 21, 2004.

I next got Jim on July 5, 2004 at 8:50 am. The summer schedule was set so Jim would spend 2 continuous weeks with each parent.  On July 7, Pathliar called asking to speak to Jim. When the conversation was done, Jim started crying uncontrollable. Nothing he said made any sense but something his mother told him really upset him. On July 9, I called the US Department of justice and was informed it would take 30 to 90 days for my complaint to be placed into the system.

On July 28, 2004, Pathliar called me and asked to change the exchange for Jim to occur on Thursday that week. I agreed. On July 31, 2004 I received another call from Pathliar claiming Heritage House was threatening her because they were not being used. I called Heritage House and explained the reason we were not using them is because they were not following the court order. They then called Pathliar who called me saying they were sending her a new schedule. Pathliar sounded really confused.

On Tuesday August 3, 2004 Pathliar informed me she was going to Miami and asked if I could pick up Jim on Thursday at the police station. The next day was Jim’s birthday and I called him. After talking to him, Pathliar got on the phone and informed me that her lawyer and Heritage House told her she had to use Heritage House for the exchange or she was in trouble. Not sure how much of that was true since by this time Pathliar only said things that would favor her, not the truth. She also told me I would not be getting Jim on Thursday because her trip to Miami was now canceled and I would get Jim on Sunday as scheduled. Sunday August 8, 2004, Pathliar was a no show at the police station again.

On Monday I called my lawyer and Pathliar. Neither one of them answered the phone and I left messages. I then called my state congressman Mr. Gross. He told me he would make inquires about my situation and get back with me. I then called the US Department of Justice and was told my case had been forwarded to division E.  Later that night Pathliar returned my call. It was 6:20 pm. She claimed to have been pressured not to use the police office as the exchange place by her lawyer and Heritage House. She then started to rant and rave including calling herself hurtful names. Then she asked to be shot. At that point I became sacred and told her I did not trust her or what she was saying and hung up. I then called the Abuse Hotline in St. Louis County. They told me to call the St. Charles branch even thou Pathliar was in St. Louis. I was in St. Charles so I called them. They informed me there was nothing they could do. They even refused to do a well child check. That is when the police check on the welfare of minor children. I was told only women can request that.

That next morning I went to work and called the US Department of justice again. They informed my case was now designated #6. This was that the state would handle it. I told them they were the ones that sent me to them, but I was told it was not their jurisdiction and they would take no action. Representative Gross also got back with me. He sounded scared and asked never to be identified with my case. The reason he gave was that the Carnahan family was too powerful in our area and there was nothing that could be done about their inference but wished me luck.

My supervisor at work saw there was something wrong with me and I was then taken from work to the hospital because my supervisor feared I was having a heart attack. It turned out to be an anxiety attack. That night after returning from the hospital, Pathliar called me claiming she wanted to remove the courts from our lives. She also told me she lived on Hampton. This was the first time I even knew the vicinity of where my son lived even thou it is clearly stated in the court papers for her to notify me of her place of residence. To this day I have never known where she keeps my son. I reminded her that it was her lies that started all of this. She claimed to be scared of the people giving her advice. Not sure what to say other than I reminded her that until she confesses to her crimes, the courts would always be involved.

The following day I went to see my doctor about the panic attack I had and he gave me advice on how to deal with it including more medicine to calm my nerves. Later that night Pathliar called again claiming Jim was sick again and she was taking him to the hospital. Pathliar then called back later stating that Jim had a virus and asked if I could keep him the following week when I picked him up on the 15th of August, I agreed.

On August 12, 2004 I had a meeting with my lawyer, Mr. Adler. He convinced me he was just playing politics in the court room when he made those degrading comments about me and he was the right man for the job to help me win the court battle. Since he was also a sitting judge in the St. Louis Court system I decided to give him another try.

Friday August 13, 2004 I returned to the hospital for tests my doctor had ordered. Then came Sunday the 15th, I was supposed to pick up Jim that evening. At 1:10 pm Pathliar called informing me that her friends told her I would never return Jim to her and that her lawyer told her to never give me Jim again. I know at least the lawyer portion was a lie because it was against the court order that would make her lawyer in contempt of court.  Pathliar was a no show for the exchange. I contacted my lawyer.

August 19, 2004, more tests at the hospital for me.

On August 20, 2004, Pathliar was again a no show at the exchange for me to receive my son. I again contacted my lawyer. August 27, 2004, Pathliar again a no show for the exchange. Again my lawyer was contacted.

September 3, 2004 was another doctor’s appointment about my health. Later that night, Pathliar was another no show for the exchange. September 10, 2004, again Pathliar another no show for the exchange. My lawyer advised me to keep showing up anyway.  September 17, 2004, Pathliar another no show and my lawyer contacted.

September 24, 2004 I went to see a specialist about the loss of feeling in my arm during the panic attack in which the feeling has yet to return. The specialist was Dr. Backer 314-251-6364. Later that night I went to the police station again but Pathliar was again a no show. October 1, 2004 there was another appointment with Dr. Swan about my deteriorating health due to stress. Later that evening Pathliar was again a no show for the exchange. The same repeat occurrence on October 8, 2004, Pathliar a no show for the exchange and again on October 15, 2004, Pathliar a no show for the exchange and on October 22 again. On October 29, 2004 I turned in the requested papers to my lawyer and instructed not to go to the police station because Pathliar was not going to show up.  A court date for the Contempt of Court case against Pathliar was then scheduled for November 22, 2004.

Since August 15, 2004 till now October 29, 2004 I had not seen or heard one thing about my son. My lawyer had informed me not to call Pathliar so she could not say I was harassing her. So I made no calls to talk to my son.

On November 8, 2004 I had surgery to alleviate the pressure on a nerve in my elbow. The doctors believed this would bring back the feeling in my left arm. The nerve in my left elbow was moved. Unfortunately this did not relive the numbness. Later tests showed the problem was my nerve connection in my neck to my arm that was inoperable. To this day I still have numbness in my arm attributed to the stress placed upon me by
Pathliar and her actions.

November 22, 2004 court in division 10 St. Charles were Pathliar was again ordered to let me see my son. No other action was taken by the courts against Pathliar. Her excuse for not allowing me my son was because she feared I would not return him. I had recorded every conversation we had in person and on the phone as evidence her claim was false, but the courts did not have time to deal with it and all other judgments were postponed again.

It had been three months since I seen him last. That night at 4:15 pm I successfully picked up Jim at his daycare.  I took him back to the daycare on Monday morning. I successfully picked up Jim again on November 22 at his daycare, and dropped him off again on that Monday November 29, 2004. This was the first Thanksgiving Jim was able to spend with me and his sister.

November 30, 2004 was another appointment with Dr. Backer to discuss the continuing problem with the lack of feeling in my arm. Since there was no injury, I was again told my condition was caused by stress.

December 3, 2004 I picked up Jim at the daycare again without incident. That Sunday Pathliar called me saying she was going in for surgery. She would not say what for.  On Monday I called the daycare and told them I would not be showing up since Jim was to stay with me. Mrs. Palada at the day care told me Pathliar told her she had cancer.  Later that morning, Pathliar called me claiming the hospital sent her home with pills and there would not be surgery that week so I returned Jim to the day care the following day.

On Friday December 10, 2004, I picked up Jim at the day care at 1:10 pm. Later that afternoon Pathliar called me asking me to pick up Jim the following Wednesday because now she was going to have the surgery. We were to meet at the police station because Pathliar was no longer working and using the daycare. That Monday I dropped Jim off at the police station.

I picked up Jim on the 15th at the St. Louis County Jail. Pathliar called me up on Sunday December 19, 2004 to make sure I would keep Jim for the entire week. I did so. The holiday exchanges went without incident. On January 3, 2005 I took my son for another checkup with Dr. Swan. He received new medicine for his asthma and had a chest X-ray. At the exchange that night, Pathliar arrived with a lady that owns a white Volvo. I tried to discuss what the occurred at the Dr office but Pathliar’s attitude was such that nothing could be discussed, so I just left.

On January 20, 2005 at 11:20 am Pathliar called me at work to inform me she refused to pay the co-pay for visiting Dr. Swan’s office. To this day Pathliar has never complied with the court order that she pay for half of Jim’s medicine and half of the co-pays. I have had to pay for it all.  She also told me Jim had too much ear wax and needed cream for his penis. No reasons given.

January 24, 2005, was another court appearance for Pathliar’s contempt of court charges. Again the case was continued. My son had by now been appointed an attorney by the courts. His attorney was Virginia L. Busch. She is a member of the Adolphus Busch Family that owns Budweiser Beer and has significant influence over political matters in the St. Louis Area. She is also a well known women’s right activist and supporter. That night Pathliar was 48 minutes late for the exchange and she showed up with the short haired lady.

January 29, 2005 I had another appointment with Mr. Adler to discuss the strategy against Pathliar. It sounded promising, but so did all the other meetings which have failed to this point.

February 8, 2005 I had another appointment with Dr. Becker about my health and the condition of my arm. The test that was conducted ran an electrical current from my neck to my fingers. It was painful. The results showed nerve damage in that connection. Again it was determined to be inoperable and I would just have to live with particle use of my arm.

On February 20, 2005 Jim came into my room in the middle of the night he could not sleep because of nightmares. He told me stories about his brother Billy hitting him in the eye repeatedly. I know boys and brothers fight but Billy was 11 years older than Jim and outweighed him by over 100 pounds. I reported this to my lawyer since the police refused to take any action.

On February 25, 2005 Pathliar showed up for the exchange driving a car. This was the first evidences that Pathliar had gained a drivers license. On February 28, 2005 Pathliar was a no show at the St. Louis County Jail. I called Mr. Adler twice. We were present there from 5:55 pm till 7:00 pm and then we left. Once I returned home Pathliar called saying she was coming to my home to retrieve Jim. Since she had a violent past, I refused this. I also told her I was calling the St. Charles Police department. When I talked to the police at 7:50 pm I explained the situation and about Pathliar’s violent past and the violent past their own officers had shown when visiting my home. They told me to call them if she showed up. Pathliar never showed up.

I had an appointment with the county psychologist Dr. Bumming the next day. Mr. Adler told me to bring Jim and the exchange would occur at her office. At 2:45 pm the exchange occurred. I was given this appointment by the courts for an assessment. She was to assess me and Pathliar in separate meetings and give her opinion to the courts. Her report showed her biased. She would not even conceive the notion that a man could be a victim to a woman in domestic abuse case. She also did not even touch on any of Pathliar’s illegal actions like keeping my son from me for months at a time or why Pathliar repeatedly filed false charges against me. Both of these things had been proven with evidence, but ignored by the courts and all court officials but her assessments were accepted by the courts with no prejudice.

I picked up Jim the following Friday on March 4, 2005. Jim was crying and screaming at his mother. Pathliar claimed he was just tired and walked away. Jim was too upset to talk about it so I just took him home with me where he calmed down. He told me about how his mother and brother were mistreating him. All I could do was to comfort him.

March 17, 2005 was another court date for the case against Pathliar. The case was continued again but the result I was told was that she would be placed on trial. A new exchange place was also designated. This was at the police station at Tucker and Clark in St. Louis. A new court date was set for May 19, 2005 in Division 4 of the St. Charles County Circuit Courts.

On April 1, 2005, I picked up my son at the police station. Pathliar was not present just a lady named Mary. When I dropped of Jim the following Monday, Jim refused to go with his mother and kept pushing her away from him. Pathliar got forceful with him and the police did nothing. They acted as if nothing was happening.

On Thursday May 5, 2005 Pathliar called me up at 7:30 am at work. She informed me that since Sunday was Mother’s day she was not going to give me my son at all that weekend. She went on to say if I had any questions to ask her lawyer. The following day Pathliar was again a no show for the exchange.

Saturday May 7, 2005 another meeting with my lawyer Mr. Adler to discuss the case against Pathliar.

May 19, 2005 another court date for the case against Pathliar division 4 St. Charles. To no surprise it was continued again. The new court date was now July 14, 2005.

June 3rd started the summer schedule was the exchange would occur every 2 weeks.  I was supposed to pick up Jim on June 19, 2005. It was Fathers Day. Pathliar was a no show again. The exchange was to occur at 9 am. At 6:50 pm Pathliar called wanting to talk about mother’s day I just hung up. At 7:50 pm Pathliar called again. This time she claimed to be at the police station. Because of her past lies I told her I did not believe her and that she did ruin my Father’s Day since the day was already over.

After the lawyers got involved again I was able to pick up Jim at the police station on Arsenal and Collette on Tuesday June 21, 2005 at 6:58 pm.

I was scheduled to have Jim for the 4th of July. The exchange was to occur on the 3rd. Pathliar was a no show again. When I got home I called her. She told me”that’s a stupid holiday” and hung up. Yes it was recorded. This is how this woman feels about the Independence Day for the country she was living in. This was also presented at the next court date but the recording was refused by the courts as hear say.

July 14, 2005 another continuation from Division 4 from St. Charles Courts.  July 23, and August 13, 2005 more meetings with Mr. Adler about the court case against Pathliar. The new court date for Pathliar’s contempt of Court was now September 14, 2005 in the St. Charles County Circuit Courts.

On August 19, 2005 I picked up Jim as scheduled. Pathliar was driving a white minivan license number 489XPM.  The following day was another meeting with Mr. Adler.

On August 25, 2005 at 10am Pathliar called me at work. She wanted to keep Jim that weekend because Saturday was her birthday. She also wanted to leave town with Jim that weekend. Since she had refused me my son on numerous custody exchanges and on my birthday before, I denied her request. The court papers state I must exchange Jim on Pathliar’s birthday at 9am till 9pm when he was to be returned to me.

On Friday August 26, 2005 I picked up Jim at 5:50 pm. Pathliar then stated she did not want him on her birthday and that the courts were stupid. I recorded it. The following day at 9 am Pathliar was a no show for the exchange.

On September 9, 2005 things started to turn ugly again I picked up Jim at 6:05 pm. Pathliar claimed Jim was in preschool and walked away. I received no further information about this preschool like the name or location.  When I dropped off Jim the following Monday Jim saw his mother and started crying not wanting o return to her. This always broke my heart but I had always followed the court order even thou Pathliar rarely did.

September 14, 2005 the case against Pathliar in division 4 of the St. Charles Courts was postponed again. No reason given and again this was done, like always in the judged chamber’s and not in the court room. Pathliar had another new attorney, Ms. Nancy E. Emmel.  My attorney has asked Pathliar and her attorney for documents and answers to interrogatories but none were ever received. Pathliar and her attorney both did not appear as a scheduled deposition Pathliar was suppose to give about events that had occurred in the past. A letter was sent to Ms. Emmel on September 16 asking again about these matters and requested a response in 7 days or sanctions were to be filed in the case.

On September 20, 2005 I went in for surgery for a ripped colon that was caused by stress related constipation.  I had a follow up meeting with Dr. Hacker on September 28, 2005.

On October 3, 2005, Jim again did not want to go back with his mother and was crying uncontrollably. There was nothing I could do but walk away with my head low.

October 12, 2005 I had another appointment with Dr. Hacker and Dr. Swan concerning my health.

On October 25, 2005 at 8:37 am Pathliar called me to inform me she was moving away and that she wanted my son that weekend. She then claimed to have 5 witnesses and I had to listen to her. I responded by reminding her she had lied too many times in the past and had also kidnapped my son many times including one time for 3 months in the past so I said no to her request. She then hung up.

On October 27, 2005 I received a call from a Michelle Powers. She told me she would be making the exchange on Friday. That next day Mrs. Powers showed up with her son, husband and Jim. Jim refused to speak to her. On the way home Jim told me he was moving far away and became upset again. To this day I still know nothing about these people or their relationship with Pathliar. There was also no reason give why Pathliar had given my son to strangers and was not present at the exchange.

I was suppose to return Jim on Halloween at 9 pm after we trick or treated. Pathliar called me up at 5 pm stating she could not drive in the rain and she would pick up Jim the following day. I informed her I would bring him back after his sister’s track meet. On Tuesday November 1, 2005 at 5:15 pm the exchange took place. This was another incident when Pathliar started to be verbally abusive towards me again. Jim got upset and again refused to leave with her. This pattern of being verbal abusive at the exchanges was repeatedly reported to my lawyer and the courts, but it was always ignored and I was told by my lawyer to just live with it. It was recorded, but no one in the court system cared including my son’s lawyer.

The following Friday on November 4, Jim repeatedly told me he was worried about his mother and wanted to stay with her. He said the police were threatening to take her away.  November 7, 2005 at 11:38 am I received a call from Pathliar. Her hernia surgery was scheduled for later that week and asked if I would pick up Jim on the 10th and keep him until she recuperated. I agreed. I dropped off Jim that night without incident. I then picked him up on the Thursday of that week which was the 10th.

I returned Jim on November 21, 2005. I had bought him a new coat and reminded him to bring it back with him when he returned. His mother had a habit of not returning Jim’s items I had given him. I also asked him why he did not bring back his bunny. It was a stuffed animal I gave him for Easter that he loved and wanted to take to his mothers. This is when he told me that his mother took it away and told him that the police shot it and it was now dead. I told my lawyer and Jim’s lawyer and again this child abuse was ignored.

Thursday, December 1, 2005 I had another appointment with Dr. Swan about my deteriorating health. It was becoming apparent, as long as Pathliar was allowed to be abusive, my health would deteriorate. I informed my lawyer who seemed not to care.

On December 6, 2005, Jim again begged to stay with me in front of his mother. Yes I complied with the court ordered and left alone.

On December 19, 2005 court in division 4 St. Charles for the case against Pathliar was again delayed. This time Jim’s lawyer, Ms Busch, claimed to be sick.

On December 21, 2005 because of all the work I had missed came to a head at the office. HR called me and asked me to resign and made me an offer. At 12:20 pm I asked for vacation to think about it but was denied.

December 29, 2005 I had to see another specialist on my health. I had an appointment with Dr. Pan with the results to be faxed to Dr. Backer. I was diagnosed carpal tunnel in both hands.  I returned to work after the holiday on January 3, 2006 and informed my supervisor. On January 5, 2006, I was sent a formal letter from HR by Lisa. The following day my entire left arm was numb again and I did not report to work but called my supervisor.  January 9, 2006 I went to St. Johns Hospital in O’Fallon for a doctor’s appointment missed 2 ½ hours of work.

In Wednesday January 18, 2006 I was presented a formal separation agreement From Poly Ad Services by Lisa and asked to leave the building and to never return at 9 am. I was a Scientist II at the time. My employment had survived two buy outs and lasted with all the names of the company changing from August 1994 till January 2006.

On February 10, 2006 at 8:57 am Pathliar called me informing me I was to leave my son that following Monday with a lady named Marge. I spoke to Mr. Adler and told him I would not drop off Jim into the custody of some strange lady I had never met. It was then arranged for Pathliar to show up for the exchange.

On February 17, 2006 Pathliar called me up and informed me I was not allowed to see my son because it would jeopardize his life and to talk to my lawyer. I called Mr. Adler and he informed that my son was sick and I would not get him that weekend. I talked to Mr. Adler again on Monday the 20th. That Friday I picked up Jim with no problems. Pathliar again did not say one word to me.

March 1, 2006 more tests at the hospital with Dr. Backer then on Friday I went to see Dr. Swan about the results. I had permanent nerve damage that reached all the way to my neck in my left arm. Again they said nothing could be done about it physically.

I was still paying child support. Because I never knew where Pathliar lived I was making payments thru my lawyer. This check was number 1214. This payment occurred on March 6, 2006. It was also reported that the numbers on my check, the account and routing numbers were used for online fraud. I filed a police report which included the IP address of the computer that made the transaction. This was given to me by the online billing company that placed the charge against my account. I was paying my bills online so other than the paper checks I paid my lawyer with; Pathliar was the only one with one.

The online billing company refunded me the funds taken from my account but refused to press charges against the person who made the purchases. I also contacted my bank. They also refunded the money and refused to pursue charges against the perpetrator of the crime. Because no one was following thru with the charges, I personally filed charges with the St. Charles Sheriff’s Department. When I followed up on the case in a couple of weeks, I was told no action was going to be taken by the deputy on duty. No reason was given other than it was a dead case.

On Wednesday March 8, 2006 I started a new job as QA QC Director at the Pharmaceutical plant called Nomax Inc.  The following day I was told not to show up for Pathliar’s court date in division 4 in St. Charles because it had been postponed again.

April 13, 2006, there was another continuation for Pathliar’s trial in division 4 of St. Charles Courts that occurred. At that time I was informed that I would get Jim for Friday but had to return him on Saturday. I picked him up and he was very excited about it. The following day he was upset again he had to return to his mother.

On April 24, 2006, another continuation for Pathliar’s trial in division 4 of St. Charles Courts occurred. Each time there was a court date I had to make an additional payment to my lawyer. It seems like they were trying to drain me out of money to end the case. The continuations also occurred after discussions by the lawyers in the judge’s chambers and not in the court room.

On April 28, 2006, when I picked up Jim, he told me his mother told him to hate me. He then assured me he did not hate me. It was so sweet the way he worded it. What is really troubling is the manner in which Pathliar was trying to brainwash him. I reported this child abuse to Mr. Adler and Ms. Busch.

May 3, 2006, the case was dismissed against Pathliar. I found out that no charges of Pathliar’s filing of false police reports, the time she kidnapped my son for 3 months were ever presented to the courts. The courts also ordered an increase in my child support payments. They also gave Pathliar full custody of my son and the sole right to make all decisions on his schooling, health and religion without any input from me.  In the court room, one of Pathliar’s witnesses was caught lying by the audio tape evidence that was presented. No charges were ever brought up against her. Mr. Adler and Mrs. Busch, my son’s lawyer both called me narcissistic in the court room in front of the judge. I was not allowed to make a statement. When I tried to speak, my lawyer told me to shut up.

Pathliar’s lawyer assured the judge that there would be no problems with the exchange because my son was now in school. She also said that all past missed exchanges were just a misunderstanding and exaggerated by me. The Judge accepted this. Mr. Adler never once objected to it. It was like the decision was already decided before the court hearing.

On May 8, 2006 when I dropped off Jim he again did not want to go. He got really agitated with his mother. At this exchange Pathliar only spoke in Spanish which she knew I did not understand.

On May 22, 2006 I was told by Pathliar only Mary would be at the exchange. I called Mr. Adler and he instructed me to do so since Pathliar’s lawyer knew who this Mary lady was. I complied with reservations. I still knew nothing about this woman other than her name was Mary.

On June 1, 2006 again Pathliar called me claiming she was going to take Jim to Peru. I picked up Jim as written in the summer schedule.

June 5, 2006 again I met with Mr. Adler about the case and confronted him about his representation of my case against Pathliar. He went to lunch and informed me the judges were not interested in hearing it.

On Wednesday of that week June 7, I got a call from my neighbor that was watching Jim while I was at work. He had head lice. He also knew the word for lice in Spanish and said his mother had treated him. I was never informed about this from Pathliar and she did not do a complete job since he still had it.

I bought enough lice kits to do my neighbors house and children along with my house. I had to treat not only Jim but also his sister and myself. Jim had little red bits all over the back of his neck. I shaved his head to ensure the eggs were gone. The following day, June 11, I reported the incident to the Department of Family Services in St. Charles. I was told it was considered child neglect to let a child to have lice and make an exchange and not inform the other party. I reported this to my lawyer and again nothing was done about it.

July 9, 2006 was another appointment with Dr. Swan to discuss my deteriorating condition.

On September 8, 2006 I received a call from Mr. Adler. He spoke of faxed and agreements I had never seen nor heard of. He then asked again for more money to file the appeal. I fired him for gross incompetence and sent an email reflecting this. I then hired the law firm of Cordell and Cordell for the appeal.

On September 29, 2006, Pathliar was a no show at the police station for the exchange. At 6:08 pm Officer Shoemaker took a call from Pathliar stating she was sick and not going to show up. Because of this I did not get Jim again until October 6, 2006.

On October 18, 2006, a court filing by Pathliar’s attorney was made for a motion to amend the dissolution of marriage. A preschool was mentioned but no information about its location or name was given.

On October 21, 2006 Pathliar informed me that Mary and another lady would be picking up Jim. I did not agree to it. I did not know anything about Mary other than her name was Mary. Pathliar called several times but did not leave a message after we got home.

On Wednesday October 25, 2006 Pathliar left a message on my phone claiming I was a dangerous person.  She also asked that Jim call her when I got home. Jim did this and then started crying saying “mommy calling you bad names and that she was going to call the police”. The following Monday I took Jim back as scheduled.

On November 2, 2006, Pathliar’s attorney filed a motion Nunc Pro Tunc. This was to change the dissolution of marriage motion involving inaccuracies about my son and his present pre-school information. Again there was no information about the school given and I or my attorney was ever notified of it. The only information was that the pre-school was in the City of St. Louis.

On November 5, 2006 I picked up Jim. He had a busted lip from a fight with his brother. I took a picture and reported it to my lawyer.

On Wednesday I was informed that Mr. Adler had refused to allow my new lawyer my files. I spoke to Jenny at Mr. Adler’s office and I was then informed they could be picked up on Friday of that week. That Friday my lawyer was again refused my files. I called his office and again talked to Jenny. She claimed Mr. Adler was still my attorney and if I showed up for my files the police would be called. That evening I picked up Jim from his mother. It was only 42F outside and Pathliar did not let him wear the coat I bought him. I gave Jim my coat so he could stay warm.

On Monday November 20, 2006 I took Jim back with another coat at the exchange and asked about the holiday and if she would be showing up on Wednesday. Pathliar just ignored me and walked away. I was able to pick up Jim at the police station on Wednesday when Pathliar informed me Jim had been enrolled in Kindergarten. No more information was given. I knew that Jim had missed the cut off period and was not eligible for public school yet because he was too young so I just assumed it was another lie by Pathliar, plus the school year was almost half way over by now.

December 15, 2006 I picked up Jim at the police station. On the ride home he told me he was now in school. Pathliar had not said a word to me it. Jim did not know where it was only that the name was Frenone he thinks.  He also said he was the only Hispanic person there.

The holiday exchanges went as smoothly as possible until December 31, 2006. The exchange was taking place at the St. Louis County Jail again. Pathliar wanted Jim back early on the 3rd of January but did not state the reason for the demand. I refused. This is when she charged me. I put the door of the jail between the children, myself and Pathliar. I held them until the police intervened and restrained Pathliar so we could leave. This incident was reported to my lawyer.

January 1, 2007 Pathliar called me at 7:34 am. She demanded Jim back the next day claiming the lawyers said to do so. Like most of everything Pathliar had ever said, this too was not true. My lawyer had no knowledge of any request for returning my son early. I know I checked with her.

On January 2, 2007 I received a phone call from a lady who claiming to be Sergeant Gomez from the police station at Tucker when I got home from work. The phone number was hidden on the caller ID. Since I know when the police make an official call, the number registers. This phone number was classified as Private Call.  I called up the police station at Tucker, which was also St. Louis County Jail, and spoke to Mr. Shoemaker.  He knew my children, Pathliar and myself because of all the exchanges that took place when he was on duty. He informed me neither Pathliar nor any Sergeant Gomez been at the police station.  At 6:40 pm I received another phone call from the lady posing as Sergeant Gomez. I informed her there was no exchange scheduled and I was reporting her attempts to illegally take my son to the police. At 7:40 pm Deputy Lindsay from the St. Charles Sheriff’s Department came to my home. She took the information I had gathered and showed her my caller ID where the number calling my home was listed as private call. He confirmed that if it was the police, there would be a phone number. She then advised me to get an exparte against Pathliar.

The following day January 3, 2007, I filed for an exparte with the courts in St. Charles, Missouri. That night when I had arrived home from work, Pathliar, some lady I had never met before and a St. Charles Sheriff’s Deputy came to my door. As I began to speak to the deputy, the strange lady just opened my door and attempted to force her way in my home. I stopped her by grabbing the door and pulling it shut.  The police officer kept yelling at me saying I was a worthless piece of shit because I refused to allow my son to go to school. He also informed me unless I released my son immediately he would find a reason to arrest me and take my son physically.

Pamela was scared and ran up stairs, hiding in her room. Jim just fell to the floor sobbing he did not want to leave. I tried to tell the violent officer I had no idea of what he was talking about, but he did not care, he just kept calling me nasty names and making threats against me.  There was no reasoning with the officer. He was close to fuming at the mouth he was so pissed off at me, because of the lies Pathliar had told him.

Neither Pathliar nor any of the people yelling at me produced any evidence that my son was in school. Not even the name of the school.  The police officer kept yelling he personally was going to find something to charge me with unless I turned over my son. My children were very upset with no other choice I decided to defuse the situation and allow Jim to leave even thou the court papers clearly stated I had custody of him at that time. The officer even refused to serve Pathliar the exparte order I had. The courts give the victim the papers just in case the violent person shows up. The officer, by law should have served her and taken her away. The officer refused to look at the papers and kept threatening to take me to jail and beat some sense into me if I did not release my son from my custody. The police officer was just waiting for me to exit my house to arrest me. He had backup present to take me away unless I did relinquish my son. I learned never to leave my house for fear of being arrested when the police were present. Not illegally entering my home is one of the few laws the local police have not broken when dealing with me.

I called my lawyer and reported the events that had just occurred. I was later told that Pathliar had enrolled him in a private school. I was given the school’s name and address and told to pick up my son at the school on Friday. I contacted the head of the school. Her name was Odetta Fields and the school’s name was The Freedom School. Her email address was The Nunc Pro Tunc that was filed by Pathliar’s attorney was also found to be inaccurate. My son was not enrolled in a pre-school, but into a private kindergarten.

I met Ms. Fields that Friday, January 5, 2007 before school was out so I could identify myself to her. That is when I found out that Pathliar had not only not told me about the school, but she also never told them, the school, about me. I showed Ms. Fields the paperwork giving me custody of my son on that day and the exparte order against Pathliar. She was shocked but understood knowing what the call she had received from Pathliar’s lawyer was all about.  That night when I got home I had received a letter from the Freedom School informing me about my son’s enrollment. My lawyer had also received a letter thru counsel from Pathliar about the school at this time. It was dated January 2, 2007. It stated that her lawyer told my lawyer about the school’s information. Both of the lawyers denied this.

On January 24, 2007 was the court date for the exparte order against Pathliar. I did not see the judge just received a message from her thru my lawyer, Kellie Evens ( I could either get the order of protection granted for the next year but no custody of my son or set a place for the exchange, which would be the school. I was told Pathliar’s lawyer claimed the events of January 3 were just a big misunderstanding. My lawyer told me there was someone powerful pulling strings and if I wanted to see my son I had to give in. I had no choice. This is when an appeal was filed because a new court hearing was denied by the judge.

January 29, 2007 I had another doctor appointment with Dr. Swan to help me deal with the stress.

On January 30, 2007 the filing with the Missouri State of Appeals Court was done. The appeal number was ED89228 of the St. Charles County Circuit Court case 01FC-126325-02.

There were no more incidences until Friday April 8, 2007. It was a holiday so I was picking up Jim at the police station. I was supposed to return him to the school on Monday. His mother would not let him bring his school bag or books for school that weekend. Pathliar did not give a reason, just walked away.  The following Friday I picked up Jim from school. It was a late winter storm hitting the region with snow expected but Jim only had on a sweatshirt. Again he was cold so I gave him my coat.

On July 3,, 2007 I was again to pick up Jim for the Independence Day Holiday as written in the court documents. I waited for over an hour but Pathliar was again another no show. I again reported this to my lawyer.

By now a new school year had begun. On August 12, 2007 I received this email from Pathliar informing me she had already made the decision and enrolled him in a school near her. I received this information about the school. Mesnier School (Affton School District), 6930 Weber Road St. Louis, MO 63123. Phone: (314)849-5566.

I met with the principal of Mesnier School. She told me I had to behave myself while in the school and that she knew of my violent past from Pathliar. I tried to show her the expartes I had against Pathliar, but she was already convinced I was no good. There was no talking to her.  Her email address is

On October 2, 2007 I received a response from the US Senator of Missouri, Christopher Bond for my request for assistance against the injustice I have received from the Missouri local courts. In it was stated that the judicial and legislative branches of the government must remain separate and he cannot become involved with this matter. It was signed by Elizabeth J. Behrouz.

On October 6, 2007 I had Jim for the weekend. He woke me up because he was having nightmares about spiders biting him. He told me there were spiders at his mother’s place. The same thing occurred the next night, but was worse. All I could do was let him sleep in my bed hoping the nightmares would leave.

That same weekend I received papers from the courts and federal government threatening to take my driver’s license, passport and place a lien against my credit rating unless I stopped my court cases against Pathliar and complied with the current order. I contacted my lawyer and she assured me those things would not happen.

On October 31, 2007 I had a parent teacher’s conference at Jim’s school. The principal sat in on it because the teacher was scared to be alone with me because of what Pathliar had told her about me. I had never met the lady before but just as our first marriage counselor had warned me. If anyone meets Pathliar first, they will hate you.

On December 2, 2007 was another postponement in the St. Charles Courts for the case against Pathliar. Again all communications and decisions were made in the judge’s chambers while I waited outside.

On January 18, 2008 there was another court appearance in St. Charles. This time they lowered the child support amount when it was pointed out by my lawyer Pathliar’s side had made an error.  The final judgment of the appeal would be announced the following Thursday January 24, 2008.

On the 24th I was called by my lawyer. She informed me that my appeal was denied. She also informed me that Judge Zerr had admitted to losing the court filings against Pathliar so he removed it from the court schedule permanently. She also told me that Judge Zerr had decided to take a sabbatical from the courts and would not return for months. Ms. Evans then told me the courts would not hear the appeal. It was like they were told not too under any circumstances. The next day nearly half of my pay was taken by the courts. I also received a letter from my credit card companies jumping my interest rates from on the average of 5% to over 20% because I now had bad credit. The courts had placed a lien against me even thou I had never missed a child support payment.

I had been funding my court appearances on credit cards. This was now at an end. I could not pay the mortgage, bills and credit cards along with the new child support payments and all the so called back pay the courts demanded, that became retroactive at the last court hearing. The courts had successfully taken away my ability to fight for my children.

Pathliar’s lawyers, for all the years we were in court were paid for by the US government and women’s rights organization. Every lawyer I had talked too and hired told me it was a fruitless battle that I would lose. I know now they were right. The system does not permit the truth to be told or for fathers and their children to have equal right to women. I had heard that there is too much money involved with powerful people to allow for the system to be changed. I found out first hand they were more powerful than the truth and any concern for the safety of children.

For this reason I turned in my resignation at my place of employment and decide to go to Washington DC to protest for fathers and children’s rights.

I started to sell my belongings but was quickly visited by the Sherriff’s department. I was asked why I was going to Washington and I told them. This was at 7PM on February 7, 2008.

The next event was the midnight visit by the belligerent and threatening St. Charles Deputy that was presented at the beginning of this filing. Because of the events that occurred I feared for my life. I had read about what Lord Northborne in England was attempting to do in establishing a Men’s rights department with his government. It would be the first of its kind in the world. I thought maybe he could help so I went to London before going to Washington.

Since that time I have had some contact with friends and neighbors. One of which has told me that the St. Charles Police Department has placed me on a hush list where no information about me can be revealed except that there were now warrants out for my arrest. This is why I did not go to Washington, but instead went to Manila to hide.

Without your help of granting me political asylum I will never see my children again. No one should be a victim of domestic violence, which should include men but it is occurring on a daily basis in America with the backing of the local police and the federal government in the name of securing votes. Please help me to give fathers a voice and their children hope in a non-violent manner.

I am presently in hiding in the Philippines without a valid ID and the police checks are getting more frequent on the roads.  My luck will not last forever and my children need to know I am still fighting for our cause.

The women’s rights and empowerment movement in America today has far exceed the expectations of its organizers. This is thanks to the creation and passing of the Violence against Women’s act that has given women and politicians sweeping power to make up their own kind of justice. It has also taken away men’s rights given to us in the US constitution, Innocent until proven guilty for one. This fundamental right is the foundation on which my country was established. It is also the reason so many persecuted people left Europe to settle here. This right is now being ignored by this law all in the name of empowering women to take a stand if they feel they are being abused or wronged by the spouses they had freely chosen. It is also being used by women to take control of their relationships by force in using the police as the physical muscle to force men into submission or face the loss of everything they had worked for including the right to raise and see their children.

Today no man is safe from unsubstantiated claims by any woman who decided to make them, not even presidential candidates. Not only is no proof, other than the word of a woman, that is necessary to convict a man of a crime against women, but when proof of the man’s innocence is presented, only the charges are dropped against the man but he is still labeled as an abuser by the police and the women’s rights movement and supporters for life. This is done by the system since it is falsely believed no woman would lie about such a thing. This is how women have won in the civil courts in divorce and child custody hearings for well over a decade now. It is the children that suffer along with the men and the American Family as a whole.

America has truly lost its way from 200 years ago. No longer does belief in God and morals guide the leaders off the nation but only greed and power. This excuse is political correctness which now is power for a select few groups while ignoring the majority of the people.

As Benjamin Franklin said so long ago, “the good men may do separately is small compared with what they may do collectively.” Fathers deserve the right to a voice in this changing world without being persecuted.

Please help me to remain free and fighting for my children’s rights to have their father in their life. I am asking to be allowed to go to your embassy and seek political asylum without the threat of being turned over to the American or Philippine governments. I have no warrants for my arrest in the Philippines, but they are very close friends of America and depend on their financial support. Being taken into custody by either of them would be my demise, wrongful imprisonment without a fair trial and the destruction of the evidence I have for my case.

Please use what influence you have within a government to allow me to seek asylum there. Without your help, my plight will never be known. I have taken the non-violent approach to dealing with this case. By taking this path, the media does not care and will give me no coverage along with most other organizations in the world. I promised my children I would fight our cause with every non-violent means available. Because of that promise I have not seen my children for over 5 years.  When I attempted to write them or send them cards thru email, their mothers denied my requests. Please help. I am not famous nor will I ever be. That does not give the American government the right to break its own laws.



Douglas Alan Gray

Cell phone: 063-927-381-8779


national coalition for menThe information above has not been verified or vetted by NCFM and NCFM takes no responsibility for its accuracy or content other than noted (NOTE) by NCFM.

Will more and more American fathers seek asylum in other countries for feeling persecuted by the family law system and guardian agencies?

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2 Responses to Request for asylum, on the run for trying to protect my children, Douglas Gray’s story

  1. anonymous reader on January 27, 2014 at 6:33 AM

    I have seen your story as well. Like yourself, I am a man who mistakenly became involved in a short relationship with a mentally ill woman that resulted in her making a false claim to the police that I had abused her. I was arrested, lost my job, evicted from my home and was made briefly homeless as I fought the charges in the courts. Like yourself, there was no evidence or witnesses to substantiate the claims although in my case the arresting officer (a woman) decided to add kidnapping and witness tampering to the charges to ensure I would become a felon if convicted.
    Fortunately, my entire life savings and property was just enough to afford an adequate defense that resulted in every charge being dismissed. Also, I was not married to this woman and we had no children. Despite the charges being dismissed, they remain on the record for the entire world to see and judge me based on. I have not attempted to enter a relationship since. I would rather live alone than risk my life and work for a stranger.
    My heart goes out to you. The american justice system has turned into a complete and brutal farce. I wish I could offer you a solution but there is none. People without first hand experience of the criminal justice system in America are laughably ignorant to how it destroys innocent people and families.
    At least I can say that one day your children will be old enough to realize what has happened to you and respect you all the more for the sacrifices you made on their behalf. Courts can steal many things, but they cannot steal the love of your family.

  2. Chibiabos on January 3, 2014 at 7:18 PM

    I don’t know what to tell you Douglas. Your Royally Fucked.
    The only comfort i can give you is letting you know i have seen your story. There are a growing number of people who are coming to the conclusion that stories like yours are a daily occurrence.
    I would strongly suggest shooting a video of yourself telling your story. The more people who tell there story the more people wake up to reality.

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