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NCFM President Harry Crouch’s wish to you for the happiest of Father’s Days

June 14, 2014
My grandson with my son. Happy Father's Day!

My grandson with my son. Happy Father’s Day! Hm…he could use a shave.

Here’s wishing that you and yours have the happiest of Father’s Days.

Unfortunately, many children won’t see their Dads and many Dads won’t see their children.

This last week, like every week, I spoke with several Dads whose children won’t be with them, won’t be with them because the mother of the children took out a restraining order against them. I’ve worked with thousands of people who have been abused, sometimes over a period of week, months, or even years. I have seen bruises, wounds, black-eyes, and scars; and, most frequently, the horrific emotional damage. I’ve lost some to suicide, attended funerals, broke things in frustration.

Manipulation of the “System” is often the most damaging weapon. I just spoke with a man who is a 100% disabled, highly decorated, war veteran with several tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. He takes home just under $2,000 a month in disability pay; has two children, and a foreign born wife who packed up the kids and left after alleging nonspecific emotional abuse. There are no allegations of physical abuse that is not by him to her, though he tried to show the police and judge pictures of his wounds from her numerous attacks. They weren’t interested. Judge ordered him to pay her apartment rent ($700), alimony ($300), child support ($500), and she gets the car when she has the children. Judge ordered 50/50 visitation. He can no longer pay for his own apartment and can barely afford food let alone transportation. Worse, his wife has a free lawyer from a women’s program, and she filed for protection with the Immigration Service as a foreign national DV victim to protect her road to citizenship. The kicker; she waited to falsely accuse her husband until a few days before securing the visas to bring her brother and sister to the United States. He, our Veteran, won’t see his children this Father’s Day, maybe not even next year. I’m concerned. Where is he today, of all days? No more funerals please.

And, this is the way we treat our Veterans? Treat those who have put the lives on the line for people they don’t even know, like you and me? I often wonder how Family Injustice System Operatives sleep at night. What goes through the head of a judge who did what the judge above did? How do politicians justify enacting laws that treat so poorly those who put their lives on the line to protect the politician’s right to take away theirs? How is it that the System rewards false accusers and punishes their victims?

This may seem like a strange Father’s Day greeting, it’s for all of us Dads, but my heart goes out to those like the Veteran I just described, the man above and the thousands like him.

Worse perhaps, how is it possible that our elected officials turn cold shoulders to their own citizens to protect violent foreigners; aliens who lie, manipulate, cheat, steal, and destroy, like his wife while callously destroying one of our finest, our decorated warrior/father, as if he were discarded rubbish.

Please, before any election day, ask your elected officials if they will support legislation that stops this sort of injustice. If they won’t, then vote for anyone else please. Perhaps by so doing, by putting legislators on the spot, we can offer up a meaningful present to fathers like this one for Father’s Day. To all of us Dads, with or without your children, you have our most sincere and best of wishes.

Our politicians are not the only offenders of fathers. Fathers’ Day has been usurped by various women organizations. Rather than celebrate fathers they use the one day each for Dads to push their own agendas.

JWI (Jewish Women International) asks for Fathers on Father’s Day “…to teach their sons what it means to be great men.” JWI believes, “Fathers have the power to teach boys to be men of character, to treat their partners with respect and to be allies in the effort to end domestic violence against women.” Then they ask for a donation to help them continue educating men and boys on ending violence against women and girls.

Here’s, Obama’s Father’s Day Message: Celebrate Dads with Equal Pay for Women! That Benefits Men, Too!”

Something called “Truthout” offers us, “How can we make feminist commitments this Father’s Day? Let us join together and make this Father’s Day a Feminist Fathers’ Day. Let us be bold and courageous, knowing that we can make a huge difference in the lives of our children, families and communities. Let us join with feminist movements to help change society, one diaper, load of dishes, conversation, public stand, direct action, mass convergence, at a time.”

Today is our day, our day as Dads. This day of all days should be one where we as men can celebrate ourselves and our fathers. On this day of all days we as men should not have to think about violence against anyone, raising other males of character, equal pay, or helping to change society. I’m not sure about being completely free from one or more loads of diapers.

And, so it is. To you my friends, to you Dads and Fathers, may you have the best of all days just as you are, where you are, and how you are. Enjoy as you can family and friends. Give your children a hug; tell them you love them, and that you are proud to be their father. If your children have gone, for whatever reasons, picture the good things that once were. Such memories can help broken hearts heal, if not forever, hopefully for today, your day, this Father’s Day.

Best Regards and Wishes,

Harry Crouch

President, NCFM

 affirmative consent


One Response to NCFM President Harry Crouch’s wish to you for the happiest of Father’s Days

  1. Adam Smith on June 15, 2014 at 2:07 PM

    Well said Harry. The story of the disabled veteran father that has been used, abused and tossed aside is infuriating. Thank you and NCFM for the admirable work that you do.

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