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NCFM President Harry Crouch Father’s Day letter

June 19, 2015


Last one standing

I’m the last one standing. If you click on the picture you will be offered a chance to join NCFM, which is a pretty good deal if I say so myself.

As usual, I’ve waited until the last-minute to wish us all a Happy Father’s Day, not sure why, too many thoughts perhaps.

I spent much of last Saturday with my son, grandson, daughter-in-law, and good friend Julie B. at the San Diego County Fair in Del Mar. Carter, my grandson is almost five. He runs to me with open arms when he sees me. I love that. I can still pick him up, barely. Every time I do, it is a bit harder, he is bit heavier, a bit taller, and I am a bit older, weaker. I know someday soon I will not be able to pick him up anymore. Each time reminds me of when I could pick up my son Wyatt. Cannot do that anymore either, he’s a few  months short of retiring from the Army. He hugs me each time I see him. Sometimes I get a kiss on a cheek. I love that too.

Here I sit, 10:24 p.m., eyes burning, too much computer screen, feeling a bit guilty because of procrastination and too many thoughts, perhaps about the many Dads who won’t be able to see their grandson run with hugs or grown son who still might otherwise give his Dad an occasional kiss on a cheek.

I passed over an article today about some women’s group trying to horn in and usurp Father’s Day for their own purposes. I did not read it. Such self-absorbed women think every day is their day, even the one day each year just for Dads and all children running to them open arms for a hug.

A few minutes ago, I checked emails. One of our NCFM advisors authored a six-page letter for FOX News trailing Megyn Kelly’s hard-hitting reports about Amherst’s horrific treatment of its student John Doe, a sexual assault victim thrown out of college just before graduation because he has a penis and his perpetrator does not. I cut the letter down to a page and sent it back to him for swearing and comment. He wrote back, “Well Mr. Harry, I compliment you on your hearing.  I said so many swear words that I have to go to confession tomorrow, and I was in such a groove and typing so fast, I set off the smoke alarm.” I thought he was agnostic. He has a son in Afghanistan and daughter in college stateside. He donates hundreds of hours each  month to our efforts for the love of his children and their future. He is a very good man, father, and someday grandfather who can almost out swear the angriest radical feminist.

Amherst’s President, Carolyn “Biddy” Martin, in 1991, was promoted to associate professor in the Department of German Studies and Women’s Studies Program at Cornell. She was the first openly gay Chancellor of a university. I wonder if she has children or grandchildren who run to her with hugs, love, and kisses on the cheek. I am thinking that if she did and if her children and grandchildren were male she would probably think and act much differently. I am thinking were that true, Amhert’s John Doe would have his college degree and his despicable female perpetrator might be washing dishes in prison, or at least be picking up roadside garbage wearing an orange jumpsuit. Radicalized Amherst students may even have a rally on Father’s Day supporting the woman. I bet Amherst did not refund John Doe’s tuition either.

Several NCFM members including the President of our Carolinas chapter and two Advisers sent emails about NBC looking for a male victim of domestic violence. Apparently, the network is producing a television special. Four alleged female victims already included. The producer is looking for an abused man for balance, albeit lopsided. She wrote, “Given the stigma of stepping forward as a man who has been abused, the hardships around negotiating social services that have historically been put in place for women, and the fear of going to law enforcement, we feel like this issue could use more light in the media. So the producer is “super excited” that we may have some folks interested in talking with them. Ok, but NBC will never do a story on Amherst’s John Doe, Biddy’s relationship with the White House, or women groups exploiting Father’s Day. Maybe the producer needs a hug too. If you are an abused man and interested please send an email to .

NCFM Adviser Charles Corry, Ph.D, Equal Justice Foundation President, cautions of possible, if not probable, retaliation if you have an open court case. He rightly notes, “We have seen vindictive retaliation by judges, attorneys, social workers, as well as men’s former partners.” NBC’s producer’s observation of abused men fearful of going to the police is indeed correct.

Another NCFM member sent a good news email about Sweden opening a rape clinic for men. Not a bad Father’s Day gift, especially if you are a male sexual assault survivor in Sweden.

Got some sleep, and got up looking forward to a hug from my Grandson, a kiss on the cheek from my son, and another hug from my daughter-in-law along with Grayson, grandson number two, expected in October. I am so lucky. Many fathers are not.

There is more good and bad news from NCFM Adviser Gordon Finley, Ph.D, Professor of Psychology at Florida State University. Good news, he was on a Wallethub panel of experts for2015’s Best and Worse States for Working Dads. Wallethub did the study as a Father’s Day hug of sorts to all of us. The bad news, California, the “progressive” state in which I live, flunked; it is the 41st worse state for working Dads, where chivalry and elitist feminism hug, kiss, and couple in bizarre legislative hanky-panky.

Early yesterday morning one of my emails was from a man in Idaho whose mother kidnapped their children. The mother has serious mental disorders, including multiple personalities and a borderline personality disorder. She is unpredictable, manipulative, abusive, dangerous, and has no business parenting. A court ordered her to return the children. She refused, crossed state lines, moved in violation of the order. Police investigated, a District Attorney pressed charges, the FBI was involved, federal charges of kidnapping dropped, it all stopped. An Amber Alert recently issued in Idaho for children in a very similar situation. The kidnapper was the father of the children rather than the mother. There was no Amber Alert for the children of the father who sent the email. My heart goes out to him and many more like him. No hugs from their children this Fathers Day, no kisses.

This weekend our Northern California Chapter is running a large ad, designed by NCFMNorCal member Teri Stoddard, in several newspapers for Fathers Day and noncustodial Dads who want to be hands-on parents.

NCFMNorCal Chapter Member Jeanne Falla, — a driving force for common sense, fair treatment, and unifying like-minded groups — will be in San Mateo for the 13th Annual Dad and Me @ the Park Healthy Kids Healthy Families event. NFMNorCal will have a booth replete with banners, lollipops, and literature about NCFM. Lots of fathers, families, and children will be at the event having a good time with hugs, kisses, and smiles. If you are in the area, please stop by our booth and say hello to Jeanne. She works hard, sacrifices many hours, all unpaid, to be there for you, as do other NCFM members.

It just occurred to me that I have no plans to see my son or grandson this weekend! Here I am blessed with a son, grandson, with one on the way with no plans to see them. Even if we do not get together, I have no complaints. I get hugs and kisses on the cheek regularly. It breaks my heart thinking about the hundreds of fathers I talk with each year that have not seen, heard from, or know their children, all too often because of government systems that favor substance abusing, mentally impaired, irresponsible mothers over drug free, sane, and responsible fathers.

I just took another phone call from a distraught father in Pennsylvania. The mother is a meth addict, abusive, on parole, and unemployed. She absconded with the children, was awarded full custody in a neighboring county, and gets free legal representation. He cannot afford an attorney, the courts will not grant him one, and he is worried sick about the children. He does not even know where they are and no one will tell him.

I am thinking unmarried women with no children or grandchildren with access to the White House are unqualified to help set policies affecting men, fathers, and even children, especially those who facilitate the persecution of innocent men. Millions of men and thousands of women gave their lives or limbs to this country in defense of freedom, not tyranny. Father’s Day is a celebration of good men. Go outside, look around at the buildings, roads, utility lines; what you see men built, which is pretty much everything, except that which nature made.

Men risk even more of their lives and limbs hanging high steel, setting cranes, and precariously swaying from safety belts constructing buildings hundreds of feet high. Buildings in which egocentric women groups meet, risk nothing and can discuss in comfortable conference rooms how to usurp Father’s Day, how to keep children from decent fathers, and how to legitimize women who make false allegations of sexual assault, relationship violence, and child abuse.

San Mateo fatherhood event

Click the lollipop for more information and directions to the San Mateo event.

To all of us, even those self-absorbed women and their misguided chivalrous male cohorts, we wish a happy Father’s Day… Most of all, we wish the best to all fathers whose children rest lovingly in their hearts, even if not in their homes.

To our NCFM members across the globe, good men and women, thank you for letting me be a small part of your lives. It is truly a pleasure knowing you. I look forward to working with you helping others make the world a better place for all of us. I’m sending each and all of you a Father’s Day hug…though you’ll have to get the kiss on the cheek from someone else. You’ll have to go to San Mateo to get an NCFM lollipop…

Harry Crouch

President, NCFM

P.S. I just checked my emails again. Got one from my daughter-in-law. We’re having breakfast together this Father’s Day. How very lucky I am.


National Coalition for MenFather’s Day is a celebration for Dads.

Father’s Day is not for the benefit of women groups.

Happy Father’s Day, best wished to all good Dads.

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day


7 Responses to NCFM President Harry Crouch Father’s Day letter

Harry Thornton on August 13, 2015 at 9:33 AM

I don’t get it, this very nice letter highlighting how delighted you are to celebrate Father’s Day is quite moving. Have you thought about suing sporting teams, businesses, other entities that celebrate Fathers on this day? It’s unequal treatment, correct? You’re movement purports to be pushing for equality yet you have no problem when the situation is in your favor. Why don’t we just take women out of the workforce, deny their right to vote, refuse to educate them and only celebrate men for what they do? Oh wait, that’s what they do in 3rd world countries like Afghanistan.


NCFM on August 16, 2015 at 9:25 AM

First, there are hundreds if not thousands of organizations advocating for everything and anything to do with women. Those organizations have pretty much destroyed anything that was all men, including things like the YMCA which is now largely run by women. In case you don’t know, the YWCA is also run by women and their services are predominantly for women only. So, you are correct that we are primarily concerned with discrimination against men to help turn the tide of thinking such as yours. You are right though, there are so few situations that favor men these days that when something is in the favor of men we are excited Moreover, our women members would disagree with you strongly that we don’t stand for equitable treatment regardless of gender. It’s ignorant to imply that any NCFM member believes we should,”just take women out of the workforce, deny their right to vote, refuse to educate them and only celebrate men for what they do” is ignorant. Regardless, if you take the time to study the issues you will quickly see how misguided are you assertions. But I suspect that won’t happen since emotional opinion almost always trumps sustainable facts. No matter, thank you for the comment, you are entitled to your beliefs as we are ours.


Peter Allemano on June 20, 2015 at 7:05 PM

Thanks for sharing these glimpses into your world, Harry, and Happy Father’s Day to you, my good fellow! With affection, esteem and admiration from your pal in Noo Yawk!


Sue Nami on June 20, 2015 at 8:22 AM

Great piece Harry.


gcostanza2014 on June 20, 2015 at 4:45 AM

Harry, what a hard-hitting and moving essay on the state of fathers today. Glad to have you doing what you do – Thanks!


Tom Williamson on June 19, 2015 at 7:50 PM

Thanks for your letter and all of the work you do, Harry. And a “happy father’s day” to you.


Michael Conzachi on June 19, 2015 at 6:15 PM

Harry – not only are you a dedicated father and grandfather, but you are truly a great American hero for all of the hard work and tremendous efforts you do on a daily basis for men and the women who love them. It is a privilege and honor to know you and work with you and all of our combined efforts to bring a level of equality into men’s lives that continues to face challenges every day.

A warm, sincere, and heartfelt Father’s Day to you my friend.


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