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NCFM Member Tim Patten, Men’s Passions

September 5, 2019


Many men equate “passion” with sex and intimacy. But there is more to the word than that. It can refer to a conviction, a determination, a love of an activity that lifts us up and energizes our souls. It can describe a desire and a sense of purpose that inspires us to greatness in all manner of creative, intellectual, athletic and other pursuits.

For men who have overcome the emotional red pill rage time period, it may be time for some forward thinking towards a fresh start in life and a more pervasive passion that can build and strengthen new emotional bonds that are vibrant and enduring. Unlike the feelings we might have for other people, a passionate activity is not necessarily tied to something outside of us nor does it ebb and flow as in many of our relationships. It is a core component of our identity, an unrelenting force, pushing us toward action and achievement.

Without an appropriate outlet, however, passion becomes poison. This fuel of self-actualization can be noxious when it is compressed or trapped inside of us. When it smolders in a heap instead of radiating like the sun, it becomes a cancer, taking a heavy physical, emotional and psychological toll.

The Red Pill

For many of us, the realities of an anti-male world have snuffed out so many the passions within. Instead of following our dreams, we became enmeshed in self-serving dictates, repeatedly told to “grow up,” “step up,” and “become a man.” We slave away at jobs and bear soul-crushing burdens because that is what we are supposed to do for the wife and children. Over time, we end up in suffocating, unsatisfying and sorry lives.

Increasingly, men are realizing that this is simply not right. If they spend their days trying to stop partners from complaining, or if non-work hours are filled with “honey do” tasks and making lonely wives and girlfriends happy, it leaves little time for anything else. Making the wife happy can be a type of hell. Certainly, females can have passions like those of males, but when biological imperatives take over, watch out! Children, security and survival become all-consuming, usually at their partners’ expense.

It doesn’t have to be like this, however. Whether it is a matter of finding, rediscovering or remembering passionate activities that have long been hidden or constrained, men must “red pill” themselves away from destructive entanglements and redirect their lives in positive directions. Only by doing this can they can alter the trajectory of their lives, their communities and the world, transforming smoking embers into lives worth living.

Inspired by a Hobby or Childhood

Men can find it hard to get reacquainted or even understand passionate parts of themselves that have been hidden away for so long. One suggestion might be to search online for hobbies or other activities that might help shine a light on what really matters for you. The possibilities might include spearfishing, for example, or tinkering with cars, studying marine biology, or putting pen to paper. Free to roam widely, you can uncover pathways you never knew existed.

To better understand who your passion, try peering back into your childhood. Do you remember being asked or thinking about who are what you wanted to be when you grew up? Did you dream of winning races, constructing buildings, making discoveries, or scaling great mountains? Did you envision yourself as a fireman, a policeman, a daredevil, or a leader somewhere or another?

Try to recall those visions of a future that were once a key aspect of who you wanted to be. Sift through your memories and try some on – explore them fully and see if they fit. We are never too old to dust off early dreams and launch – or relaunch – ourselves and our lives into the stratosphere.

In my case, I wanted to be a fireman when I was very little. Later, I dreamed of joining professional roller derby after seeing it on TV. Soon, I was spending my days at roller rinks and participating in speed skating clubs in areas where I lived. While I was competitive, I was never the big winner, but that wasn’t important to me. I enjoyed the sport. Being with those who loved what I loved made me feel I had found the true pathway to my future.

Increasingly, I dedicated myself to my passion and eventually joined teams in the professional roller derby league, a major televised sport in the 1970s, and loved every moment of those golden years. Again, I was not one of the stars, but just being in front of the cameras and thousands of crazed fans, alongside friends and rivals who shared my love for the sport, sustained a live-life-to-the-fullest thrill ride over the course of many decades.

Inspired by Others

Some might not be so lucky. For those who failed to discover their inner passion early on, or who now feel it’s time to explore new territory, traversing others’ pathways through the power of the internet can shine a light on our secret innermost passions. Use google to search “amazing careers” and identify a career that is in synch with what your internal love is ideal.

Finding a full-time job may not your directive, but volunteering, or a part-time position might be an outlet for passions. Alternatively, you may expand your horizons and consider opportunities that are much different – and perhaps far sillier – than you might imagine, but which will empower and help you live a life made just for you.

Making the Right Choice

A key question, or course, is how you’ll know when you have found it. One way to gauge is to try it on in your mind’s eye. Visualize it. Hear it. Taste it. Are you feeling excited or empowered at the thought of doing it over and repeatedly? Does it seem like you are in the right place, that your inner nature is being nurtured, and that you are right at home? Immerse yourself in it for a weekend or longer; don’t feel pressured to decide right away. There’s no rush to nail down what passion dictates, what fuels you, and what is truly you.

Once you move from thought to action, see if it soaks up your time and energy like a sponge. If you are working late into the night, on weekends, giving up sleep to pursue your dream, odds are that you found what you were looking for. If you wake weary and tired but find it all goes away when you start thinking about the excitement ahead, you will recognize that you are being driven by a burning passionate objective within.

Living and breathing your life’s purpose can benefit you in other ways as well. The notion that people make the world go around is a bit of a cliché, but when you find yourself among other people who are also “living the dream,” you will feel energized, strong as one of many. Rubbing shoulders with others who are motivated by your same passions will be a life gratifying experience. You will feel as if you are part of a family or tribe and a sense of camaraderie should well up from within. While most in the tribe may remain strangers or won’t be your cup of tea, their aspirations and commitment to achieving their goals can become contagious, filling all with joy and a sense of collective purpose.


When you do the things you love, it makes your spirit, body and mind resilient and difficult to break. By espousing the red pill philosophy of living life for yourself rather than the whims of others, you can move past ancient patriarchal expectations and experience the wonders of a genuinely productive and satisfying existence. Freed from the chains of women’s selfish expectations and an unappreciation of who we are, we men can finally experience our hopes, dreams and joy of living passionate lives.

About the Author:

Tim Patten’s latest book Masculinity Is Our Future is also available in audio format. He has published the handy investment guide: MGTOW, Building Wealth and Power. And MGTOW Why I Cheat– 11 campfire stories for men’s ears only. All his books and articles are a celebration of masculinity and pay homage to the modern men’s liberation movement.


national coalition for men

NCFM Member Tim Patten, Men’s Passions

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