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NCFM Member Tim Patten, Sex and MGTOW

November 11, 2019


Sex and MGTOW

“All men are dogs!” many women scream, raging at our relentless craving for sexual satisfaction. In some respects, they are right: from very early on, our primal urges tend to be persistent and powerful, and often take control, whether we – or the opposite sex – like it or not. Naturally, this is the stereotype and the way many women interpret men’s sexual prowess.

It is true that most men’s sex drives are highly attuned to the visual. If we see something sexually appealing, in life or in our heads, it doesn’t take long before things go boom, leaving us aroused and swollen with excitement. The urge can well up in only moments, grabbing our attention like a thundering AC/DC concert.

When this happens, it can be difficult, frequently impossible, to resist, especially for those abstaining from sex with women. In the thrall of sexual fantasy, many of us will go to great lengths, howl at the moon, spend what we don’t have, and chase the smell of pussy as far as we can. For those who don’t quite understand this basic instinct, it is easy to view it as something odd, not realizing it is at the core of who we are as human beings.

But things are different when it comes to Men Going Their Own Way, whose experts are educating younger generations about today’s realities. While some say MGTOW is controversial, the members of this group have an intuitive sense of women and sex. They understand that women will make the man pay for sex in one way or another and that our urges can get us into deep and serious trouble, largely because most women know all too well how vulnerable it makes us and therefore walk gently when it comes to sex with women.

Men are the prize

The fact is, men are the prey and the prize in societies sexual money trap. We are at the top of the food chain, ripe for producing and protecting without interruption to meet others’ needs, rather than our own. It is our so-called duty to build and maintain the home and work our fingers to the bone for the benefit of women, merely because they know how to take advantage of our natural instincts.

Once we start paying closer attention and looking at things more clearly, we can reach a point where we are no longer slaves to biology. For today’s man, knowledge – about sex and women – is power; it can help us break free of the chains that have been wrapped around us for far too long.

How Much Sex

Aside from those men who are “involuntary celibates”, or virgins and abstaining from sex with women, other men should have lots of sex, as much as they like! Of course, because we are all unique, there can be big differences among us about what “lots” really means. For some, the upper end is virtually unlimited – having a giga-zillion sexual acts in a lifetime might not even be close to our theoretical maximum. For others, having little or no physical intercourse at all might be just fine. Most men are not sex machines.

Still, for those of us who look towards a reasonable amount of sex, the odds increase that we will end up enslaved by unexpected pregnancy or some other female trick. For that reason, many MGTOW members strongly recommend that men eliminate such risk, specifically by getting a vasectomy. But that doesn’t mean being totally home free, however. Regardless of our sexual appetites, all of us are vulnerable to being accused of rape and harassment.

Communication Inequality

Sadly, the female tongue is often a dangerous and destructive weapon, which stems largely from their own biological makeup. In general, girls tend to advance socially from an early age using the natural verbal skills they have at their disposal, while boys, meanwhile, tend to get caught up with making fart noises and engaging in other such pursuits.

Consequently, girls tend to mature earlier than boys, and quickly develop the ability to confront others, hold fluent conversations with two or more people, stand up in class, and eloquently respond to questions from teachers. Later on, the communications gulf makes it difficult for men and women, especially those who are similar in age, to have genuinely deep and emotional two-way conversations.

Needless to say, this can inhibit us when it comes to making it clear what we really want and communicating our needs and desires to the opposite sex. We may feel unsure of ourselves, leaving an opening that any selfish or self-serving female can capitalize on. It can be difficult to utter the words that make us feel confident and reassured, rather than embarrassed and frustrated.

Teach Yourself

But like most things in life, it is often simply a matter of making the effort and practicing as much as possible. To avoid being oppressed by our biology and manipulated by others, we must explain ourselves and our intentions as honestly and openly as possible. While the words may vary from person to person, an albeit mechanical conversation might go something like this:

“I am protective of my independence and am not interested in building a family. I am not interested in going to the next level or living together, or marriage and children. I am interested in (exclusive or nonexclusive) sex with you. I also ask you not mention me on social media.”

In response, she might say, “You want to use me for sex?”

“No, I want each of us to use each other for sex.”

“Let me think a day on this.”

“Also, I have goals and aspiration that consumes my time; I do not want you to call me every day or interrupt my day.”

If she balks at your heartfelt honesty, don’t argue or take it the wrong way. Simply move on. “Thank you. I will look for someone whose goals are more in harmony with mine.”

To live the life, we were destined to live and ensure we are not enslaved by the demands of others, it is essential not to mince words when dealing with the opposite sex. To get where we want and deserve to be, we must remain true to ourselves and be honest and respectful with others.

The Road to Satisfaction

In practical terms, achieving sexual satisfaction is not as hard as it might seem. Among the many avenues open to us are bars, sex clubs, strip clubs, prostitutes, friends and neighbors, online services, sex dolls, and robots, depending on preferences. But it also requires a measure of self-awareness. If we have a fetish or other preference – assuming it does not cause harm or land us in jail – it shouldn’t be ignored.

But in seeking libertine satisfaction, it is worth remembering that there can be a downside. Aside from getting someone pregnant, there is the risk of catching a sexually transmitted disease, especially when there are numerous partners involved. There are treatments available, of course, though not necessarily for all such maladies. Regardless, there is also a stigma associated with catching STDs, so it makes sense to be careful and have a good private doctor.

The realities of growing older can also weigh on our male capabilities. Our physical and mental condition can deteriorate or falter, and health-related issues can make it difficult for us to carry out various functions, including sex. On the plus side, some of us might actually be relieved and gain greater peace of mind when the desire for sex diminishes.

Catching Feelings

But while these aspects are important, there is another, potentially more challenging concern. When two people are in a sexual relationship, it is not unusual for one or both to catch certain feelings, where the emotions of “loving” begin to emerge. If this happens, we have no choice. We must take control. We must not lead partners on, knowing they have fallen for us. We must not abandon our values of independence. Unless we really want things to go further, it is necessary to have a discussion like so:

“I see you are falling in love with me – what should we do?”

“I don’t know.”

“We can’t afford for feelings to get in the way. We must stop seeing each other, with each of us being fully permitted to see others.”

If she says, “I don’t want to leave you,” we must stay true to ourselves and lay things out straight. “I want you to go now and never call, write or text me again.”

Unfortunately, a reality check like this may be taken badly, despite upfront agreement about the nature of the relationship. She may respond in a hostile or vindictive manner, and lash out with anger and irrationality. Should things take a turn for the worse, all we can do is contact authorities and try to protect ourselves.


As males, we are born with certain instincts and desires. Consequently, most of us find that the urge for sexual satisfaction becomes more pronounced as we grow older. But that does not mean we have to abandon our souls in exchange for an orgasm. Following the MGTOW mantra, we must take control of our sexual destiny and not let ourselves become trapped. Only then will we be empowered and ready to be our best.

About the author

Tim Patten is the author of MGTOW: Building Wealth and Power, a handy investment guide, and MGTOW: Why I Cheat, a collection of campfire stories for men. His latest book Masculinity Is Our Future is available also in audio format. He has devoted his life’s work to celebrating masculinity and is active in the men’s liberation phenomenon.

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3 Responses to NCFM Member Tim Patten, Sex and MGTOW

  1. Greg Josefchuk on November 11, 2019 at 11:10 AM

    While I wholeheartedly agree with brother Tim that we should not “abandon our souls in exchange for an orgasm”, I likewise urge men not abandon their desire to find ones soulmate in exchange for the MGTOW life. Although I’m not an author of any books, having recently celebrated the thirty-third anniversary to my beautiful wife and love of my life, I think I’m fully qualified to advocate for marital bliss.

  2. Dean Hedges on November 11, 2019 at 11:01 AM

    It had dawned on me, years ago, in my hunting days, that a little love is more than a lot of sex. I spent my 20s and 30s living in a tropical island where tourist ladies were easy pickings

    • Dean Hedges on November 11, 2019 at 11:03 AM

      . Now I realize my need for love in physical form was due to the absence of it as a child. Boys are just not loved and we spend our adult life trying to compensate.

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