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NCFM Mr. Matters, A WORLD OF SECRET HUNGERS, TAMPONS AND PATRIARCHY (SATIRE)

June 19, 2023
By

tamponsDear Mr. M,

A recent article in this publication NCFM, pointed out an important possible new addition to boy’s school bathrooms. A bill known as “The Menstrual Equity Bill” could guarantee that tampons will be available in restrooms of both girls and boys in Minnesota. Tampons being something I had to do without as a biological boy when I was in school. Yet the NCFM article focused instead on trivial matters such as boy’s widespread academic issues.

Some question why a person born to one sex has to be in the other sexes restroom in the first place. But aren’t they ignoring school restroom open houses across the country, where students are invited to witness the other sex using their restroom facilities?

Feminist want to be assured that tampons are available to all girls. In their quest for equality of the sexes, they want to extend these same rights to all boys. They also are aware that rather than privately going to nurse’s offices, transgender males want to experience their menstrual issues while boys are using the bathroom faculties. What better way to fit in than by showing how much they have in common with the typical boy?

Certainly no one would disagree with girls having access to tampons and boys too of course. However, this led me to think of an issue not as important to biological boys as access to tampon but still of consequence. That being the issue of food.

Some years ago, I went to an all you can eat pizza place with a bunch of people, both male and female. While the advertised price was the same for both sexes, they charged more for men. When asked about it, a male employee observed that men eat more food than women. Of course, this is not always true. Nor did they pay attention to how much each sex ate before handing us the bill charging more for those with pendulous reproductive organs.

It is well established though, that males generally need more calories than females. An example is needing more calories of protein, which tend to be expensive (there are high protein foods which are cheap, but are poor people aware of this)? Despite these issues, I found no evidence of males receiving more compensation regarding food stamps, or school lunches. Could low calorie intake be an issue that effects boys school performance?  Also, what about the extra costs to single adult men paying more than women for food not covered by food stamps? In fact, if were concerned about women paying more money because of their biology such as for tampons, why is it fair for men to spend more money because of their biological need for more calories?

Sincerely,

Hungering for more Information

Dear Mr. Hunger,

That men burn more calories than women is no secret. As we have been told, this gives men an advantage in losing weight. That is what has been discussed, not that men pay more money for food Therefore, that is the issue, you insensitive jerk.

Apparently, you think more food stamp money for males could be an issue NCFM could get involved in. Here’s why it isn’t. Biological males have never needed menstrual product and have always needed food. Therefore, the opposite will soon happen. Have you not heard of the law of average? I advise you, invest in tampon stocks for males.

Dear Mr. Manners:

We are hearing a lot about the intolerance of those who protested the showing of the nude sculpture “Michelangelo’s David” to six graders?  As a Florida newspaper observed: “Florida is being roundly ridiculed for the forced resignation of their principal (Don’t Say Michelangelo, The Palm Beach Post).”

It should be asked though, why is what happened at a charter elementary school, more widely condemned by the mainstream press than what happened at a public University, in supposedly more tolerant times. In 1991 a less explicit nude painting of a women, Francisco Goya’s “Naked Maja”, was removed from a classroom at Penn State University. In that case, it was the teacher who found it awkward to stand in front of the portrait. The school suggested she not stand in front of the painting while teaching, have the picture taken down during her class, or give her another classroom to teach in. However, she refused all alternatives (Sexual Harassment by Francisco Goya). The painting was removed along with other paintings in the classroom. As far as all the evidence I could gather, the policy is still in place here in 2023. So, while the David example was an occurrence in one school, the Goya painting set legal precedent.

The teacher claimed that she saw male students “nudging each other” in responses to the painting. (Sexual Harassment ibid).  Are we to assume that such things don’t happen when six graders see a nude man? Particular girls who may have never seen a naked male before. In such cases, girl’s amusement sends a positive message to boys than girls find male sex organs comical.

Six graders are restricted going to movies showing naked bodies, not college students. Why are things reversed in this situation? Furthermore, pictures of attractive women are condemned by feminist for the beauty standard they set. What about the standard set by David, with his powerful, literally sculpted body. Not to mention, he was also good with a slingshot.

One should ask, why also aren’t feminist’s outraged about the six graders seeing the David painting?  Aren’t behaviors such as a homeless man exposing themselves to an adult woman an example of the street harassment that so outrages them? Is it because David is a statue not a living person?

If so, what about the graduate student who in 1993 displayed a 5 by 7-inch picture of his wife in a bikini on his desk at The University of Nebraska. Two female grad students shared an office with him and understandably could not tolerate it. They successfully petitioned to have it removed due to it being sexual harassment (A Pinup of his wife).

While feminist remained pretty much mute on that issue, to their credit, in the next year feminist did vigorously defend nudity by a man. That being President Clinton being charged with sexual harassment while Governor. In that case, Mr. Clinton was charged with exposing his erect penis to a government employee while the two were alone in a hotel room and asking for oral sex. However, as women’s advocates pointed out, if true the allegations did not reach the level of sexual harassment. After all, Clinton took no for an answer. This makes sense, because in this case the man was not currently a graduate student, or a homeless guy, but the leader of the free world.

I also would be remiss if I did not mention the trouble male teachers and student can get in for making what seem to be innocuous verbal sexual references. Feminists are the leaders in restricting such speech from men on college campuses. How then do they foster equality by restricting their own speech?  In his book “Feminists Say the Darndest Things”, the late Michael Adams gave a number of examples, of feminist free speech. One example being a Women’s Studies teacher inviting students in her class to “express their freedom of speech” by destroying an anti-abortion display put up other students of the college.

This instructor also used free speech to impart valuable knowledge in her classroom. Adams quoted some of the student reviews from her students, such as: “She is crazy. Everything related to sex or abortion. She talks about her own orgasms. (Michael Adams, (Feminist’s Say the Darndest Things, Penguin Books 2007, pages 102 and 104).”

Mr. M, when I hear about support for teachers taking about gender identity in kindergarten, I wonder, why can’t they be similarly supportive of what male Professor’s say in college?

Sincerely,

For Free Speech for Everyone

Dear Free Peaches for Everyone:

Mr. Manners concurs that children not be restricted in what they are taught regarding sexual matters in the ways conservative want them to. This should only happen when they get to college.

But who cares about that free speech first amendment crap? Fortunately based on the above, not many. What about the picture of the wife in a bikini? Feminist complain about explicit photos of anonymous women. They contend they are dehumanizing. What could be a more anonymous than a picture of a women by a man she shared marriage vows, a marriage contract and if I am not being too vulgar, a bed?

What could be more explicit than a female in a bikini?  Certainly, you’re not saying an erect penis of an actual man alone with a woman in a hotel room fits those criteria? Outside of the beach, the typical female graduate student does not see females wearing swimwear, except when they look at their own attire in the mirror before going to the beach.

Unfortunately, even some women are complicit to this aspect of the Patriarchy. For instance, some years ago, a woman I knew actually subscribed to a pornographic magazine. She left an old copy of the magazine which degrades anonymous women pictorially on my desk. As one trying to help bring down the patriarchy, I felt it was my duty to examine this degrading publication. After the fourth or fifth time investigating these photos, I realize I had to take a stand. The magazine is called “Cosmopolitan” Let’s stop this filth from being distributed to the public!

national coalition for men

NCFM Mr. Matters, A WORLD OF SECRET HUNGERS, TAMPONS AND PATRIARCHY

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