NCFM San Diego members are writing a play. It’s a take-off on the Vagina Monologues and may be ready by November and International Men Day. In the process our aspiring playwrights decided to compile a list of synonyms for the word penis to use while writing. It appears that the word “Penis” may have more synonyms than any other word in the English language. If they missed any, please leave the missing penises in the comment section below. Admittedly, some are a bit obscure but a penis by any name us still a “deep-V-diver”. Here ya’go:
Adolph |
Albino Cave Dweller |
baby-arm |
baby-maker |
baloney pony |
beaver basher |
beef whistle |
bell on a pole |
bishop |
Bob Dole |
boomstick |
braciole |
bratwurst |
burrito |
candle |
choad |
chopper |
chub |
chubby |
cock |
cranny axe |
cum gun |
custard launcher |
dagger |
deep-V diver |
dick |
dickie |
ding dong mcdork |
dink |
dipstick |
disco stick |
dog head |
dong |
donger |
dork |
dragon |
drum stick |
dude piston |
Easy Rider |
eggroll |
Excalibur |
fang |
ferret |
fire hose |
flesh flute |
flesh tower |
froto |
fuck rod |
fudge sickle |
fun stick |
gigi |
groin |
heat-seeking moisture missile |
hog |
hose |
jackhammer |
Jimmy |
John |
John Thomas |
Johnson |
joystick |
junk |
kickstand |
king sebastian |
knob |
krull the warrior king |
lap rocket |
leaky hose |
lingam |
little Bob |
little Elvis |
lizard |
longfellow |
love muscle |
love rod |
love stick |
luigi |
manhood |
mayo shooting hotdog gun |
meat constrictor |
meat injection |
meat popsicle |
meat stick |
meat thermometer |
member |
meter long king kong dong |
microphone |
middle stump |
Moisture and heat seeking venomous throbbing python of love |
Mr. Knish |
mushroom head |
mutton |
netherrod |
old boy |
old fellow |
old man |
one-eyed monster |
one-eyed snake |
one-eyed trouser-snake |
one-eyed wonder weasel |
one-eyed yogurt slinger |
pecker |
Pedro |
peepee |
Percy |
peter |
Pied Piper |
Pig skin bus |
pink oboe |
piss weasle |
piston |
plug |
pnor |
poinswatter |
popeye |
pork sword |
prick |
private eye |
private part |
purple-headed yogurt flinger |
purple-helmeted warrior of love |
quiver bone |
Ramburglar |
rod |
rod of pleasure |
roundhead |
sausage |
schlong |
schlong dongadoodle |
schmeckel |
schmuck, shmuck |
schnitzel |
schwanz |
schwartz |
sebastianic sword |
shaft |
short arm |
single barrelled pump action bollock yogurt shotgun |
skin flute |
soldier |
spawn hammer |
steamin’ semen truck |
stick shift |
surfboard |
Tallywhacker |
Tan Bannana |
tassle |
third leg |
thumper |
thunderbird 3 |
thundersword |
tinker |
todger |
tonk |
tool |
trouser snake |
tubesteak |
twig (& berries) |
twinkie |
vein |
wand |
wang |
wang doodle |
wanger |
wee wee |
whoopie stick |
wick |
wiener |
Wiener Schnitzel |
willy |
wing dang doodle |
winkie |
yingyang |
yogurt gun |
Polepuncher
[…] 70 vagina synonyms. The folks over at the National Coalition for Men came up with a casual list of 174 synonyms for their […]
Chicken ‘fer chokin’, Pack man, Rooster (cock a doodle doo), pucker poker, ding-a-ling, portable (or expanding) hat rack, knobby noodler, tonsil tickler, pantie waster, bitch stick, ho hopper, fish schtick, temporary tampon, testosterone tree, sneaky snake, pedo pamper poker (might want to save that for a cheap shot at the jail house or your buddies on poker night), jockstrap juicer, personal pool cue, ram rod, bangin’ brat(wurst), poo packer, mister fister, pocket rocket, wee Willy, divining stick, jean jack, masked avenger (in a condom), Stoop’er man, mini me, (va)’gina jumper, Dick Tracey (on a case), hottie detector, sweet meat, pantie pointer, sperm worm (sperm whale if it’s huge), Oscar (Oscar Meyer Weiner), night stick, battering ram, up and cummer, Woody woodpecker, butter bar, lip splitter, furken gurken, rubber dicky, booty brat(not wurst), tummy tickler, Porky pig pusher, fire cracker, tall tail (or tale if you’e lying about the size), screw driver, tooth pick, jumper thumper, power tower, smokin’ sausage, lurking lamprey, gun barrel (or tank barrel if you’re well endowed), banana, pee shooter, pee wee Herman (or just Herman with smarter folk), junk jet, fart stopper, middle man, fish flicker, whopper, skank spanker, hound dog, Huey Dewey and Louie (the f___ing ducks), popsicle, fruits of love, long jumper, fumblin’ Freddie, bush beater, pile driver, …. I think I’ll stop while I’m only a little behind ….
David,
You need to take a rest. Maybe find another hobby…
Dinker
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I absolutely LOVE beef whistle! … uhm, I didn’t mean that as it sounded 🙂
Pink Torpedo, as in “I like to sink her with my pink torpedo” – Spinal Tab
Trouser Trout, delicious upward curve, Willy
Master Splitter
Flesh flavored lollipop
cocktail sausage, love-salami, main event, pleasure-promise
I’m off to squeeze the Lizard, the Wonderful Lizard of Ooze!
Weasel? Rooster? Saber? Among others — rather incomplete list, eh?
Cockwalk.
I am writing a western/romance and I invented the term “Trail Boss,” to call my Characters penis.
Bill Clinton
Mother nature’s injection. Life syringe. The sperm wand.
How about Dicktaphone (speak into my) .
Woody
Tent Pole
nine inch nail
A genocus
Add BEND HUR, MAIN GUN, 1 EYED TROUSER TROUT, HERCOMERR, WATCHES ME SHAVE, RANGEROVER, COUSIN ITT
Hmm, how about toothbrush?
Pretty Boy
Bazolicker
Kick Stand
Fella
Quick Draw McGraw
“Arrow” or “Protein Shake”
I don’t see “St. Martha of Assi” listed, nor do I see my 4th all time synonym, “Mathew.”
Dingypoo for the guy,
Poodingy for the girl.
pants dragon, and captain thick
free willy
How is it even possible that “crank” didn’t make this list???
The first thing I ever heard it called, as a baby and up to and through at least age 7, was “Ninny”. As in, “When will you learn to aim your ninny better?”
Blue Vain custard chucker, High hard one, mr. Happy, fudge packer, peashooter, Hairy pole, horny toad, hard on, Monster, peanut,genital
Betty Cock-it
what about this::::
Drilling Tool
Eleventh finger
“Pink Torpedo”, from “This Is Spinal Tap”.
Mjolnir (The name for Thor’s Hammer, uh that’s another good one)
Thor’s Hammer
I call mine Aretha Franklin.
Cause sometimes it’s real fat and other times it’s not. But she I wake up it looks at me and sings. “Respect yourself”!
One-eyed Japanese soldier wearing a German helmet
Anyone remember the Scud Missile?
pocket rocket
for lebanese people, lebanese sausage