Call Email Join Donate
Generic selectors
Exact matches only
Search in title
Search in content
Post Type Selectors

To the women of NOW – a rant

July 15, 2011

By Steven DeLuca

Excuse my grammar and spelling. I grew up in housing projects, violent and poorly educated family. I spend summers as a child working in bean and berry fields and like many males from lower-class homes I never caught up with Spelling, grammar and punctuation.

That doesn’t make me stupid although I am sure you will think I am by the end of this mini rant, but what I do know is gender issues. What I have learned is that almost all so called experts in gender issues are women who are only concerned about one gender, their own.

Boys brought up to never cry, or whine or complain, but to “make money” because their net worth and self-worth are often the same, don’t get together in groups and talk about how tough men have it compared to women.  Worse for them, they think the horrid things women say about men must be true because, you know, why would women lie? [For money, power, revenge, control, just like men?]

I have been reading your missives for years and the one below evoked a strong response.  I wonder why you just want to stop violence just against women as your article below clearly demands.

I was sexually abused at age 3 by an older female relative. I worked with prisoners and abused teens and most of the abuse they had been subjected to was from women when they were children.  Females are more likely to attack a male partner than males are to attack a female partner (I know, more women are badly injured or killed but overlooking hundreds of male deaths and hundreds of thousands of male injuries seems unlikely to prevent women and children from adult violence.   Most child abuse and neglect comes from mothers.  Lesbians have more DV than do heterosexuals.  HAVE YOU EVER PUBLICLY SHARED THOSE STORIES?

I know that you know these things so why continue to pretend that the cycle of violence doesn’t start with a 150 lb mother slapping her sons and daughters on a weekly basis – adult violence starts with men AND women beating children or attacking each other in front of their children.

As far as Dominique Strauss-Kahn goes, there are some of us who wondered if he wasn’t considered guilty until proven innocent from the start – which is what feminist groups are pushing for; isn’t it?   If a woman makes a claim, skip a trial, just put his male ass in jail?  You wrote  ” I hate to say it, it’s surprising how long it took to start” about the rape you discuss.  What you might not have noticed was that immediately this man was seen as guilty.

Remember how ya’ll made jokes and laughed about Bobbit … I forget the couples first name but she cut

Feminist lies make bad laws.

his dick off saying to the cops he always gets to climax and she doesn’t then later it was because she was raped and battered.  Well, what did you think when later than that she punched her mom in the face while watching TV?  Did you ever consider that she was just a crazy bitch (Oh, was I not supposed to say the “B” word.  That’s right, your group said my gender was responsible for most birth defects from kicking our pregnant wives around, the biggest reason for birth defects you said.  Turns out not to be true and you never apologized for that… but you can say such things with no proof and men saying Bitch are what, sexist jerks?)

I have worked with teens, adults, seniors and children in treatment facilities… it sickens me what men AND women have done to each other but what sickens me more is your organization teaching others that violence is a one way street from men to women and children – so why is there two way traffic?

The Vagina Monologues doesn’t dare mention female violence towards women and children because it puts a serious dent in the argument that it’s “Testosterone Poisoning” that causes all violence. (Thanks Alan Alda for coming up with that term in  Ms Magazine as he Uncle Tomed his way into feminist hearts and minds.)

We live in a world where all teens have heard “Dead Beat Dads” a hundred times and never once have they been told that mothers adjudicated to pay child support have a worse record.

You are MSinforming the public about many things.  Your push for equal pay isn’t for equal work, it’s for safer and more comfortable work. I saw Pelosi holding a shovel by the handle in a way that would prevent her from being able to pull up any dirt.  The photo was a political opportunity on the the cover of a recent Disabled American Veteran Magazine.  The three men next to her were holding the shovel properly.  I thought about how hard most men work for their families and how you, and your staff are clueless.   Almost all men know how to hold a shovel. And yet Pelosi will be one of the first to suggest that she knows how much male labor and female labor is worth. If done with paper and pen in an office, big bucks.  If sweat and back breaking work with a shovel, not so much pay?

I am a 100% disabled vet, age 65, screw in my hip, two screws in my shoulder, PTSD, anemia from cancer a few years ago and I would challenge the president of NOW or Pelosi or Hillary Clinton (I know that Pelosi and Clinton serve America but few women have any idea what living with a 100% disability is like for decades; that’s serving) to a challenge.  We can have a little test of men and women’s work by putting a pile of sand a hundred yards from a wheel barrow, and for an hour we move that pile of sand a hundred yards back to where we started and we see how much I move compared to any of you… and if I can move 25% more should I get 25% more pay. If you had to hire a male laborer who could do more work – for a year – or a female for a year, for less work, do they get the same pay.  If a 65 years old man  with screws in his joints, and anemia can out work you physically, what would a healthy young man do.

Do any of you have a clue about why men earn more than women (Not get paid more, EARN more) You think it’s discrimination.   You need to read Warren Farrell’s book “Why Men Earn More”  We earn more because we do the dangerous and dirty jobs you are trying to have you and your sisters avoid.  93% of deaths at work are male deaths.  I was reading the recent DAV magazine and a female military women was upset that the DAV mag was so “male centric” … no lie.  It’s because 99.999% of deaths in our wars are male.  It’s because almost all 100 % disabilities are male.  Female disabilities are often the same as civilian, a car wreck, an accident, and not by intentionally putting them on the front lines.

Discrimination in America isn’t towards women.  Our government saw that one gender, female, had a few national health programs.  That gender outlived men by a year in 1920 and now it’s 6. So which gender got more national health programs?  Our sisters.  Not our brothers.   Men die younger from  leading health risks and yet we don’t have one national health program for men.

Your heroes like Mary Pipher write Reviving Ophelia and speak of the “girl poisoning culture” and about how Clinton, Tipper Gore, Janet Reno and others are there for girls.  Whose there for boys?  Most of society is not for boys.  Pipher speaks of doing things our mothers never dreamed of doing.  Well, they still are not filling the coal mines, or working on roof tops.  If we have a draft again we won’t be sending women to the front lines.  Your organization claims to be FOR women but you are “poisoning” the minds of girls – and boys.  You have taught myths and lies for years and have elevated propaganda in ways Hitler would be proud of.  Your programs to help girls accept being fat will destroy the health of girls and will contribute to diabetes and early deaths.  (A woman wrote an article “Do your daughter a favor, tell her she’s fat”  I agree.  Tell your sons too and help them both get healthy.

You once taught that 150,000 women died a year from eating disorders.  You blamed men (How can you say all we care about is tits and ass and then also claim we men wanted women built like starving teen boys ;shaped like a 2 by 4?)  When it turned out to be fewer than 100 women and girls dying a year did you apologize for comparing men forcing women to become anorexic, to Nazis killing Jews? How does a rumor like that start, well, bigots start it and others don’t think about what’s being said.  If 150,000 women died a year then Safeway and Costco would only have male shoppers by now.

You look at a girl dieting and worry about her “self image” but who had the eating disorder, that girl dieting (to try to have an image that is more likely to get male attention and the PERKS that go with it, free dinners, a  life time of financial support for some. Nine girls who don’t look pretty, so sad, neglected, can’t use sexual power to get what they want from  men, instead they have to do what most men do, get a personality, a job, money, charm… to get a partner) or the millions of teen boys eating two cheese burgers, super sized fries, and a 40 ounce coke that leads to male deaths from heart attacks in their 30’s?

Which gender loses children in child custody hearings if they both want full custody.  I was the primary caretaker of my children. (Ya, this guy writing a rude letter must be a cave man that wants women barefoot and pregnant – I am guessing that’s what you think… I also taught self-defense to women and girls.  I worked as a counselor for teen girls.  I took care of disabled seniors too.  I have worked with women raped in police work and as a friend… so no, don’t stereotype me or any man) Despite being the primary caretaker I was warned that I might lose custody in court because the courts favor women in almost all things.  My wife knew I would take the kids to another country if that happened.

You and Obama want to figure out what men’s pay is worth while sitting in air conditioned offices sipping coffee and trading votes for dollar$.  I have a suggestion, go in a coal mine for a week.  Work a roof top.  Get on that Alaska fishing boat, get sick, pay thousands of dollars for a helicopter to take you away.  Go ride a Humvee for a month in a war zone.  Then figure out what men’s work is worth and also notice that that extra pay for extra risk goes to women and children.

My twin sister and fiance at age 18 in 1964 didn’t have to register for the draft.  They were not drafted in 1966, they didn’t end up with a 100% disability either.  Life isn’t just hard on SOME women.

I was watching a BBC program last night with my wife (Professional women, worked decades, retiring soon, we love each other despite my anti-feminist views) titled Human Planet: Disc 2  and I thought about how your group teaches others that men around the world dominate and exploit women.  Disc one had similar stories to disc two but I recall the last stories more clearly.   I saw a black man in a primitive (not saying worse than ours) society climbing over a hundred feet in a tree because his wife wasn’t happy that she hadn’t had much honey lately.   His tribe thought he was brave as he was stung over and over getting that honey for his wife and kids.  Another story showed three black men, small guys, spears, going up to 15 lions at a kill, big males and females growling, bloody faces.  The lions back off for moments while they steal part of the kill and hurry off before the lions attack.  Another story showed men going into a live volcano breathing gases to carry out phosphorous (I think it was) double their body weight, bodies bent, crippled from the work, eyes going bad, lungs shot, early deaths.  All were risking their lives and willing to die young to feed families.  Do you not see that this is male nature, to take risks to support women and girls and our sons too.

In America men deal with long hours at boring dangerous jobs and die younger … they get paid a little more, but they don’t spend it on themselves. It’s not men with $5,000 dollar purses or 40 pairs of shoes.  It’s not men expecting jewelry and dinners from women.

Women like Pipher will discuss how girls make 4 times more attempts to commit suicide and then refer you to their footnotes where they mention boys succeed more but they do not tell you boys are four times as likely to DIE.  In our current wars we send males for multiple tours of duty, ya’ll couldn’t do one without losing it… I am pretty sure.  More male soldiers are dying at their own hands than from the enemies.  30 males in our war zones try suicide, 19 succeed, – per day…that we know of.  Meanwhile you are worrying about girls body images, or defending any claim of rape before the facts are in.  You want to do something positive, stop bashing males and help the boys dropping out of school, help those suicidal soldiers, it’s not just about you.

Many rape claims are false and ruin male lives.  Thus far DNA testing has freed over 200 males wrongly accused of rape from prison.  (Think of the Duke Univ. Boys.  Guilty until proven innocent.)

Men sacrifice in work and war and you call us exploiters.  We live in silence with our disabilities from work or war and never cite serious injuries as a gender issue.  We men don’t whine and complain about much of anything and we don’t blame women for our personal problems or for ending up in the middle or the bottom instead of at the top.  We don’t equate men dying in war as a big deal and yet women rage because some girl was dissuaded from taking shop class in the 60’s (I took home economics in 1964, you are not as cutting edge as you think) You go on and on about sexism towards females ignoring the many males who were FORCED to either go to Canada, jail, or the army, you ignore the 58,000 dead, their voices silent for decades as Ellen Goodman writes about how tough females had it “back in the day”.

You and Congress need to read “The War Against Boys” by-  well,  you now damn well know who don’t you, or maybe not.  [I just asked a woman that went through a training program about Domestic Violence and had worked for several months in a shelter is she know who Erin Pizzey was, she didn’t.  Ya’ll wouldn’t want a woman to know that other women, even the founder of the first shelter, didn’t think DV was a gender issue would you.  Might cause her to question some of those women who helped get funding for the man-haters that run the shelters]

You would not dare put Christina Hoff Sommers book in your “gender studies” reading list for students.  You would not put  “How Obamas Gender Policies Undermine America” in your gender studies classes either.  Why, because it doesn’t fit your male bashing agenda and not because the author, Diana Furchtgott-Roth once a chief economist at the U.S. Dept. of Labor isn’t a well educated woman and knows what she speaks of.  It’s because you pretend to want fairness when you have no clue about what is fair. The fair pay act. Sounds fair.  But it’s another way to take money from hard working men and give it to women.

When women are dying in the work place at equal rates to men, – same for war, same for gaining custody of children. and when equal numbers of men are graduating from college, when we provide equal numbers of national health care programs for men… when women start worrying about what to buy their husbands on Valentines Day, when equal numbers of men and women who care about both genders are teaching gender studies then I will take time to listen to pay fairness…

John Mayer has a song  that reminds me of how NOW and other women’s groups look at gender.  It’s about fathers and mother being good to their daughters… but for boys he sings “boys you can break, see how much they can take” … and it’s treating boys roughly is why more boys commit suicide [ As if you care – do you even know that most child injuries and deaths are not just from mom’s but directed at sons?)   . And treating boys roughly, putting them on the streets earl and saying “make it or die” is why so many men are at the top and far more at the bottom.  It’s why so many males shut off feelings as much as possible and most are clueless about gender issues that affect males.  No one is teaching boys about gender issues, we teach them a trumped up version of women’s issues

I have studied gender since childhood watching how my twin sister was protected by most adults in society.  Her husband, who supported her for decades, working 50 hours a week didn’t see her working and him staying home as an option.  My brothers, one suicide, two druggies, lost out because of class and gender issues and child abuse too, from both parents.  Life it good to some men and women  and hard for others.  I have been reading our nonsense for years… I finally had to protest. You are not experts if you only care about and only try to help your own gender.  I am for both genders.

Steven DeLuca
US Army Retired.

On 7/9/2011 2:05 AM, to view what the National Organization for Women wrote click here View it in your browser.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

15 Responses to To the women of NOW – a rant

  1. Vawa Victim on July 23, 2011 at 12:08 PM

    Here is a direct consequesnce of Feminism and VAWA:

    "Thomas Ball, an American Citizen who self immolated as an act of protest… why?… There are Marxist Radical Feminists in our Federal Government who are writing the "Second Set of Books", violating the laws we know, launching a war against men… everything else is the effect… the real enemy are the men hating Feminists infiltrating our government… It originates in OVW, part of DOJ…"

  2. anudeep on July 23, 2011 at 8:56 AM

    The way you started the article. The facts you gave and the way you arranged it. the way you ended it. brilliant. I would want this article to be published in every newspaper in the world if possible. You can really open up the society’s eyes. Great read. Keep it up!

  3. Bill Sanders on July 23, 2011 at 12:06 AM

    Thank you Stephen for writing this wonderful letter. I was very disturbed by Sharon Osbourne's attitude toward the recent torture and sexual mutilation victim on The Talk. How shallow and callous must her heart be to focus on the severed penis of a dying man "whirling around" in a garbage disposal? When the one host spoke up meekly about how this type of glee might be sexist and inappropriate, Julie Chen narrowed her eyes in disapproval. These women are diabolical and inhuman. Now that I have seen what is inside their hearts, i will never be fooled by their outward appearance again.

    I was at the VA hospital last week preparing for my first colonoscopy. One of the nurses stated that more men are rapists and murderers than women. I replied that her statement is false. I asked if she had heard about the recent penis mutilation case. She got very excited and said "yes, I love it!" as if she were having an orgasm. Then she shouted in my ear "Lorena Bobbit is my hero!" Where does this kind of hostility come from, if not from Feminism? We are surrounded by women that supposedly care for our needs, yet harbor gruesome fantasies about torturing us. I never realized the depth of the damage this kind of philosophy has done until now. It's shocking – and yet I will regain my balance. Letters like yours help me to realize that I am not alone. Men are banding together to fight this terrible holocaust of male hatred now. May the next 50 years be an era of recovering respect for men. Boys and men need to be valued again. All the self-image programs for girls out there – we need those for men and boys.

  4. Apeiron on July 22, 2011 at 11:02 PM

    Great article, quick and to the point. Warms my hear to see many young men finally discovering the lies and bigotry of feminism. I wish you best of luck in your life.

  5. Grace Rmp on July 21, 2011 at 5:46 PM

    I am the wife of now deceased Military man. He served our country for 25 years and he would have been proud to read this article as i am. I also support both gender. How can i not? I have a mother, father, husband brother, sister ,daughter ,grandsons, nieces, nephews….how can anyone only support one gender is above my comprehension. I do feel sorry for such people, because even with all their education, degrees,jobs titles, bank accounts etc……still are ignorant.
    Excellent article, Thank you….Grace

    • Will_Wallace_LA on July 23, 2011 at 3:11 AM

      This is a beautiful comment, IMO.

    • S DeLuca on July 29, 2011 at 11:26 AM

      thanks grace… I love to hear from women like you

  6. happyanarki on July 21, 2011 at 3:00 PM

    I love your line "I'm for both genders".

    This is something most feminist critics miss. Neither gender has the monopoly on violence or exploitation, both genders suffer from it. The benefit of a feminist critic SHOULD be in understanding this dynamic better. Unfortunately it is too often reduced to the stupid and false "All men are rapists" line by individual sociopaths.

    Time to stop talking men vs women, we are two sides to the same coin. Time to start making each individual responsible for their own behaviour, and everyone stand up to ALL abusive behaviours. What counts is what is in your heart, not what's between your legs.

    I'm a single father, and I'm a good one. But had to fight in court to keep my children with me, against lies that I am abusive, from a woman who had my kid violently kidnapped from my home, with my mother assaulted in the process.

  7. David on July 21, 2011 at 2:07 PM

    You have very eloquently stated what so many men and boys have felt for the better part if the last forty years. Thank you.

  8. Jim Bailey on July 21, 2011 at 1:40 PM

    NOW is behind much FAMILY pain in little ole New Zealand – In FACT many in my local CHURCH are promoting this FemiNAZI lead org – Being Naive is NOT an option – Shared with THANKS to Harry Crouch – Onward:)_Jim

  9. Msbunyip on July 20, 2011 at 5:41 AM

    Where are these so called feminists when woman in Islam countries are stoned to death because they were raped, have their genetalia mutilated routinely, are forced into arranged marriages before they are even teenagers, and on and on? Why don't they ever speak up?

  10. S DeLuca on July 17, 2011 at 9:29 AM

    I wonder (not really) why NOW never wrote back. Harry, thanks for your comment. Will Wallace – there are gender feminists, dissident feminists and equity feminists. Not all feminist speak like the KKK about blacks once did, when discussing men. (Too aggressive, don't care about families, preoccupied with sex, less evolved) – a good friend of mine calls herself a "victim feminist in remission". She once thought poorly of men for liking breasts… thought good men were hard to find, believed many feminist myths. She does believe in equality and fairness and cares about both genders. I have to have her remind me sometimes not to trash all feminists when I say "feminists" or "women".

    I got in physical fits with white and black racists when I was a young man. Both targeted all others in the "other" group. I don't want men to target all women or even all feminists and I ask my friend to remind me to be careful when I seem to target all women. Just a heads up on hating all feminists. Some are good women taught evil things about men and I don't blame them too much… just like feminist men who dislike their own gender. I do understand your anger. I had similar anger for decades but as I see more men and women figuring out how much hate speech of men thrives… and fighting it, I have hope.

    I reread the rant I wrote – I think it's sloppy, but fair. I wish I didn't make so many mistakes but at least I speak up. I wish more men would and I am glad you did.


    • Will_Wallace_LA on July 23, 2011 at 3:22 AM

      I very much appreciate your response Mr. DeLuca. Females and feminists enjoy tremendous privilege in our society, at the expense of, and on the backs of, men. As virtually every modern female that I come across either identifies with, supports or condones feminism, I have discontinued drawing significant distinction between feminists and modern females as it has become an artificial distinction. Modern females, with rare exception, are feminists or feminist collaborators making them responsible for the grievous damage inflicted on men by feminist activity. But I absolutely appreciate your sharing your perspective with me, and I do take it to heart. I just wanted to share the background of my approach with you.

  11. Will_Wallace_LA on July 17, 2011 at 1:18 AM

    Of the most moving and important pieces I have ever read. Tears to my eyes. Mr. Deluca, thank you.


  12. harry on July 16, 2011 at 2:26 PM


    You have a knack for telling it like it is and speaking from the heart. Thank you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.