By Christopher Thomson, President NCFM Montana Chapter
Parental Alienation: “a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes.
Its primary manifestation is the child’s campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent’s indoctrination and the child’s own contributions to the vilification of the targeted parent.”
Parental alienation is often the byproduct of the use of false reporting of abuse and is emotionally devastating our children, leading to the explosion in pharmaceutical treatments, turning so many of our youth into federally sanctioned, federally funded drug addicts. Much of this is the direct result of the Violence Against Women Act and its lack of provisions protecting against false reporting; I recently had the pleasure of interviewing a teenage boy who has been victimized by this “silver bullet” in child custody arrangements.
The fourteen-year-old boy we will refer to as “Orion” after the mythological hero, began his story a decade prior. Then four-years-old, Orion’s mother and father were separated; one day his mother called his father weeping that Orion was out-of-control, punching her in the face. Dad intervened, “spanked me as he should have” Orion said, then the mother used the incident and Child Protective Services (CPS) to alienate the child from his father.
Over the following decade Orion was prescribed more than a dozen medications and subjected to constant turmoil under sole care of his mother. The two frequently fought, often resulting in mom calling the police, or the step-father intervening, striking the child until he had a headache; paradoxically, Orion was on medications for headaches.
Unable to resolve Orion’s issues, his mother began incarcerating him in a myriad of psychiatric hospitals and boys homes to “fix his problems”. Spending one summer in such an institution, his father capitalized on the situation, reentering his life traveling over three hundred miles round trip to visit as often as he could. When the child was released he was given the ultimatum to return to his mother or start a new life with dad, he chose the former “hoping things were changed, but they had not.”
Recognizing the cycle of destruction, Orion recently contacted his father pleading to relocate and it was arranged. Since, he has ceased all medications, losing 50 pounds in the process, and an innovative combination of sensory deprivation and outdoor adventure based therapies have been used to build self-confidence, self esteem, and motivation.
Recounting the abuses from his past to one counselor compelled the professional to file a report of abuse. Immediately realizing the indiscretion, the Regional Director of CPS rented a 2011 Ford Mustang, an alluring way to allow the father and son to travel hundreds of miles to complete the report. An interview was done by an independent agency that has opted to follow up and hold appropriate parties accountable.
This brave young man has been removed from a toxic environment and is on the road to recovery, but there is much work to heal over a decade of damage. Sadly, he is forced to watch his half-brother be subjected to the “silver bullet” as the two boys’ respective mothers attempt to remove his father. Orion asked to do this interview praying society will “save my brother from going through everything I have been through”; I for one am willing to stand up with this heroic young man to say “Changes must be made to the Violence Against Women Act to protect our children!”
Severe PAS with my 7 yo daughter and mother against me the father.
In high conflict custody battle mother filed false TRO and daughter lied to police and made up an unbelievable story,
The mother was a victim of sexual abuse as a child from a direct blood family member and raised in a religious cult. Mother was never treated for
Her childhood sexual abuse
hello chris, i was wondering if you would like to state that you yourself are a government funded drug addict. and you forgot to explain how my butt was black and blue for two weeks after you beat me. next time you write an article please make sure to include the major points that are needed to make the story 100% honest
sincerely,
your once loving son, orion.
I fear this for my 12 y/o. I am called to come get him, he is out of control. I rarely see him out of control. He admits that he did the things she accuses him of often, but she is adept at projection. There were many things I took credit for in our marriage that were part of its demise that until I had some distance I hadn't realized it wasn't me, but her who did those things. I refuse to punish him for what he does with her as the mother if I am not there. She decided she could do this separate from me, so she has to figure it out or give him or all of them up. I value my time with my kids, and I am not going to spend it punishing them for behaviors that are a direct result of the relationship with her. I will talk to them about how to get along (read survive) around their mom, but not punish. I won't even yell to get their attention when she is around for fear of this type of scenario.
Parental alienation is so wrong. I have experienced this too. I only lost my relationship with my 3 children when the mother decided to secretly separate and the saga of parental alienation began and it has not stopped. The court dismissed a report from a family therapist who was identifying this problem. I experience the courts in Canada and the US to find that fathers are not equal to share in a relationship with their children. The family court system needs to stop this problem and immediately. Unfortunately, I have lost my relationship with my children and I can only pray that this will some day change that I will once again have a relationship with my children. I have shared my horrible story in the book titled "Divorce Rape" available at http://lulu.com/abecfathers. I am also developing a website to share about the injustices in a divorce at http://divorceinjustices.weebly.com.
We need to keep promoting Parental Alienation Awareness Day on April 25 and everyday until this abusive problem is stopped. Our lawmakers and courts need to stop this abusive problem that affects children and families.
Hopefully parental alienation will be in the DSM-5 due out next year. Educating parents, legal and mental health professionals how to identify and address parental alienation is the only way to help families avoid these heartbreaking situations.
For more information, and resources, on parental alienation you can visit http://www.afamilysheartbreak.com.
Shame on the Psychiatric Community for caving to political pressure and not acknowledging this condition in the DSM. I assume that it is political pressure that has caused this refusal, because Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is such a well-known phenomenon, that if it is not political pressure, well, perhaps these learned doctors may need some examination of their own.