Alastair Hilton on his work with male survivors of sexual abuse and violence.

NCFM NOTE: This is a must read and very important article. There are few people doing this work but the few who do are extraordinary pioneer advocates. Another seldom discussed and readily dismissed phenomenon is mother on daughter sexual abuse. Julie Brand, author of A Mother’s Touch is a leading expert and her book is highly recommended. It is noted in the article below that, “Back in 1990, Fran Sepler, quoted in Patrick Mendel’s seminal work The Male Survivor wrote of what she termed the ‘feminisation of victimisation’ – where essentially women and girls are perceived  as victims and men as the perpetrators of sexual violence. A generation later, little seems to have changed in so many respects. This is still very much the lens through which sexual violence is predominantly defined.” Courageous souls like Alastair Hilton, his friend Julius Okwera (above), and Julie Brand are fast changing the notion that only women are victims of sexual abuse and only men are perpetrators. Until the world accepts that fact that sexual violence is not gender specific we will aggravate the violence. Bless those who do this work; and, the survivors — NCFM

Sexual Violence Against Boys & Men in Conflict Settings: The Men of Peace, Hope and Courage.

For over twenty years I have worked with male survivors of sexual abuse and violence, carried out research focusing on the sexual abuse of boys and men in Cambodia and am currently engaged in another study exploring the needs and challenges of service providers working with male survivors of sexual violence in developing countries. For me this is an issue that is all consuming – as a professional social worker, researcher, long time activist – and also as a man who was also once a vulnerable boy.

The silence endured by male survivors of sexual abuse should never be underestimated. Shame, stigma, the fear of discovery and responses of others, are just some of the factors that lead many to wait twenty years or more before they tell anyone. The vast majority of male survivors never seek ‘professional’ help, even if it is available. The culture of silence is paralysing and not restricted to survivors themselves.

My interest was drawn again in March of this year, when, in a blaze of publicity, the British Foreign Secretary William Hague and actor Angelina Jolie visited the Democratic Republic of Congo to meet victims of rape in conflict zones – and subsequently sought to engage governments in taking action at the April G8 foreign ministers meeting in London.

Whilst their efforts are commendable and the commitment of those G8 representatives long overdue, there was to my mind also something quite surreal at the sight of Ms. Jolie making her closing speech, surrounded by sombre looking men in suits, nodding in agreement as she spoke of the ‘forgotten victims of war’ and the ‘rights of women and children.’ There was a very brief mention of men as victims of course, which I guess is a step in the right direction, though subsequent media reports barely mentioned males at all.

Whilst progress is being made in many settings, the continued invisibility of men as victims and subsequent lack of meaningful debate is astonishing, especially taking into consideration the increasing evidence, both in peace and wartime settings, of an epidemic of sexual abuse where boys and men are concerned. As if further evidence of this invisibility were needed, a recent BBC Hardtalk programme broadcast at the beginning of May, featured Zainab Bangura, the UN Special Representative on Sexual Violence in Conflict. Unbelievably, there was not a single mention of men and boys by Bangura, and not a question asked about this by the interviewer. The overwhelming silence continues.

It’s not that I am ungrateful for the efforts of Hague and Jolie – I recognize that women and girls are predominantly the victims of rape and abuse in peace time and conflict, and that the vast majority of services and support for women and girls are not adequate – but I also have concerns that males are continually overlooked. Anyone with a commitment to social justice in all its forms should not be at all complacent and grateful for a few sound bites and being thrown a few ‘crumbs off the table’ in the form of politically expedient press releases. There is much to do if all victims of rape and abuse, whatever their gender or identity, are to receive the support they so richly deserve.

Back in 1990, Fran Sepler, quoted in Patrick Mendel’s seminal work The Male Survivor wrote of what she termed the ‘feminisation of victimisation’ – where essentially women and girls are perceived  as victims and men as the perpetrators of sexual violence. A generation later, little seems to have changed in so many respects. This is still very much the lens through which sexual violence is predominantly defined and viewed in communities, organisations and the corridors of power within most international organisations. When international NGOs and their representatives speak of ‘gender based violence’, they invariably mean women and children, when they speak of ‘women and children’ the reality, as I have discovered on numerous occasions, is that they are referring to ‘women and girls’. Somehow ‘the language of ‘gender’ has morphed into something that essentially excludes boys and men as victims…

Read the rest of this important article at The Good Men Project: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/social-justice-sexual-violence-against-boys-men-in-conflict-settings-the-men-of-peace-hope-and-courage/

There are millions of male survivors of sexual assault.

Women are not always the victims. Men are not always the perpetrators. Male survivors need support as do female survivors.

Tags: a mother's touch, allistar hilton, good man project, julie brand, male survivors, rape, sexual assautl