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NCFM Member Nikita Coulombe, “An open letter to whiny college students…”

November 24, 2015

whinyAn open letter to whiny college students: there’s more to life than being “outraged.”

By Nikita Coulombe

A recent report was released by Nobel Prize winner Angus Deaton and distinguished Princeton Professor Anne Case, which highlighted the insane levels of suicide among white middle aged males with a high school degree or less. They noted that half a million deaths could have been prevented in the last 15 years – about the same amount of people that have died in the US AIDS epidemic to date. Here are a couple of other facts: every 65 minutes, a veteran commits suicide. And, in California, 23 prisons have been built since 1980 versus just one new campus opened by the University of California system.

Why is nobody outraged about this? Because men know that society doesn’t care about them if they fail, because society believes they are “privileged.” If we were willing to dig deeper, we’d admit that society uses “male privilege” to keep men disposable.

Who does society care about? Who is the most empowered? YOU. You, yes you, young college student. You are the most privileged group of people. Why? Because society cares about your feelings, and the more a society cares about the feelings of a particular individual or group, the more privileged that individual or group is.

Every time I read about a college student or group demanding accommodation or concessions, I have to double-check it’s not an article from The Onion. When I see reports that 40 percent of Millenials are OK limiting free speech if it’s offensive to minorities, I get worried. It’s not that I support being offensive, but free speech is a fundamental part our nation’s strength, and not supporting that right means that two out of five of us are out of touch with reality (and history for that matter).

Your actions come across like you’ve never done a hard day’s work in your life. Why? Because if you’ve ever had to endure any kind of physical labor, served in the military, or had to cold call anyone (basically, put up with somebody else’s crap) it would be impossible to still have an ego big enough that you would think it’s fair to demand that someone quit their job of 10 or 20 years because you were “offended.”

Are helicopter parents really the ones to blame here? Clearly the self-esteem movement failed. Perhaps they were too busy trying to appear as good parents instead of actually being good parents. Or perhaps you believed all those participation medals you received actually meant something.

Spineless admins at universities are obviously another problem because they only encourage more people to be “outraged” when they remove “triggering” books from their curriculums and dumb down discussions so one person can have a “safe space” rather than allowing everyone to have straightforward discussion. Is that what we’re after here – getting to the lowest common denominator?

Nobody expects you to have it all figured out at 20 years old, but good grief, how much longer do you expect the world to revolve around you? Do you really want the most important thing you learned at college to be how to manipulate other people?

College is a place for you to be introduced to new ideas, to weigh them against evidence and facts you know, and hone your critical thinking skills. You also need enough real life experiences to guide your actions. This is part of the life development equation that college is supposed to add to – taking young adults, providing them with theories and concepts of civilization, which gives them the foundations to contribute to society over time.

College is not the place to meet what you perceive to be “intolerance” with intolerance. Nor is it the place to form a mob to shut down dialogue when there is a misunderstanding. If you were actually trying to solve a problem, you’d be willing to listen to the other side and reach a productive outcome.

Perhaps the worst part of this constant and growing “outrage” is that when people “cry wolf” over situations that resemble the everyday reality, real problems that deal with life and death get ignored or devalued along with the ability to respond to them. By not choosing your battles wisely, any future campaigns you may wage will be diluted by the trivial nature of past efforts.

What it really comes down to is this: don’t go to college if you want to continue being a child, go live at home with Mom and Dad. When you try to tear down a system before you understand it you’re actually sabotaging your own progress. Improving systems is a social obligation, but that requires understanding, being proactive rather than reactive.

If you want to be an adult, accept that not everyone is going to agree with you, and that doesn’t mean they’re trying to “shame you” or mean they’re racist or sexist. Consider taking it as a compliment that someone is actually treating you like an adult.

There is value in speaking out against injustice, but not everything that feels unfair is unjust. Part of being an adult is understanding the difference, and what is worth mobilizing a social movement for and what is a part of life. The structure that was put in place by our founding fathers allowed for improvement and refinement, but the core is good. We regress by trying to undermine that.


national coalition for menWhiny college students? Insecure pampered complainers with no motivation to do anything constructive.

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3 Responses to NCFM Member Nikita Coulombe, “An open letter to whiny college students…”

  1. magicunicorn on November 25, 2016 at 1:40 PM

    Great article, Nikita. Censorship of speech and thought is creeping into all of Western society and we need to use our free speech to stop it while we still have it.

  2. Paul Murray on November 28, 2015 at 9:01 PM

    The day will soon come when employers see a college education as a negative.

  3. Jesse Vasquez on November 25, 2015 at 9:54 AM

    Thank you Nikita for this ode to honor, virtue, and common sense. Women such as your self are the foundation of hope. You have been blessed with the wisdom to see the true power of women. We are all products of our environment, and the formative years are are the foundation of who we become. Women, by and large, raise us. The hand that rocks the cradle really does rule the world!

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