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NCFM Member Tim Patten “Bachelorhood, Men Going Their Own Way Are Saving Lives”

April 22, 2016

Men Going Their Own WayBachelorhood, Men Going Their Own Way Are Saving Lives

Modern romance, notably love and marriage, is failing. Every year, millions of American couples see their relationships fall apart. For many males, however, the result is not something to get upset about. In fact, a growing number of divorced men are discovering their true purpose in life. They are moving themselves, friends and society toward something better, joining with large communities of men who’ve already rejected the glamorization of love and marriage. Bachelorhood and initiatives such as Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) are helping to rebuild esteem and save men’s lives.

The truth is, women and society as a whole have been rallying support for eons behind the institution of marriage. Among other things, it’s been claimed that unmarried men die earlier than their married counterparts, which has helped to glorify matrimonial sanctimony. The justifications haven’t only been positive, however. Another, more harmful stereotype, which maintains that something is “wrong” or “a loser” with men who are not married, first emerged during Victorian times.

Sadly, many males have also drunk the relationship Kool-Aid. They have frightened and urged other men into marriage; wasting hard-earned dollars on a façade of happy nuptials. Together with a social history built on America’s family-farming origins, men have generally felt compelled to rush headlong into coupling immediately after leaving high school or college.

But things have changed. A modern counterculture phenomenon is helping to reject old school values at the same time as millions are discovering the nuptial bomb that can explode when men and women become entangled. As a result, many men have decided enough is enough, and they are rejecting matrimony’s unhealthy consequences. Movements such as MGTOW, Japan’s Herbivore Men and Red Pill awareness are offering the education that young men should know to be successful in today’s world.

Men Are Being Saved

In fact, recent comments from those who are involved in such efforts have yielded interesting insights about the benefits of the new bachelorhood. One individual who monitors posts at a popular MGTOW website said, “in 2015, there [had] been six private emails from members sharing that MGTOW discovery saved their lives.” A second moderator noted, “MGTOW saves thousands of lives. Thousands of them.” Moreover, a commenter wrote, “First, I do not believe MGTOW saved my life. I would say it saved my sanity and for me, the sky has been the limit since. After finding out I am not alone, it has made me feel free.”

How Do Men Discover MGTOW

Men often conduct Google searches about divorce in the hope of gaining a first-hand understanding from those who have experienced the pain of losing a wife, children and property. In many cases, they stumble upon MGTOW forums and videos, where they find camaraderie, a compassionate ear, and helpful lessons centered on the tyranny of a divorced mate. In these forums they can vent and repair wounds. They may also hear about a movie, Divorce Corporation, which explores the large-scale devastation that men have been confronted with. While MGTOW contributors are usually anonymous, they freely share their all-to-common experiences. Below are two examples:

Anonymous Share MGTOW 01

At 51 years old and fresh out of a divorce. Divorce made me realize that I have never been in a reciprocal relationship. By that I mean that I have never been with anyone that treated me as well as I treated them. I was always telling them how much I loved them. And my reward for treating someone well was always either being lied to or cheated on. Most importantly, my energy was drained out of me.

Now I view relationships as an exchange of energy. People with positive energy have a place in my life, people with negative energy, or people that steal other people’s energy, are dismissed. My life is so much more positive and rewarding since making this decision. MGTOW gave me the understanding that my life is just that, MY LIFE. Not being responsible for someone else’s daily happiness gives me the freedom to focus on my own level of happiness and contentment. As a result I am a better father, better friend, and overall a better person.

Anonymous Share MGTOW 02

The divorce law is corrupt and rules the land. When an institution of government turns “broken arrow”, such as it did here by self-destruction, the only option is to take measures necessary (constitutional equivalent to GO YOUR OWN WAY). The future for men and marriage is much more grim than it is now as so many of the gynocentric laws haven’t had time to ferment and fester, the ones we do see fermented and festering has caused a stampede of men fleeing women, marriage, and the gauntlet of gynocentric binding laws.

Some MGTOW Begin Self-Discovery

For many men, the moment of truth can arrive suddenly, triggered, perhaps, by a relationship gone sour. They have an epiphany and discover the “Red Pill”—a phrase from the film, The Matrix, describing the awareness of a painful truth, bursting forth from blissful ignorance or an illusionary reality. Red Pill moments represent an awakening, of sorts, from the fantasies of love and marriage. For some, it can take decades; for those who are more visionary (or luckier), the realization occurs early on, as comments from other contributors will attest:

Anonymous Share MGTOW 03

When I discovered MGTOW it was the slap in the face I needed to snap me out of my enforced Disney funded stupor. I was to be Prince Charming to my Cinderella, It was hard and I was very close to ending my life… very close. One day the sound of children laughing and playing in a school yard saved me for that day. MGTOW understanding gave me the rest of my ‘bonus time’ here on earth.

Anonymous Share MGTOW 04

I’m a young guy, 23 years old, and I’ve had a red pill type of mindset for a while because I grew up around examples of how marriage isn’t the wonderful experience it’s proponents claim it is. I watched how my mom treated my dad (no respect and hypocrisy). My parents raised me in a church, where I got to watch a bunch of tired and pathetic looking husbands follow their wives around, almost lifeless. When I spoke to these men about my hobbies, they would get excited and I could tell that they miss the freedom of being single, the time when they were actually able to live their lives and pursue their happiness. To top it all off, the sermons in church were often about how the man needs to do better. In my extended family, my uncle never married and he has always been one of the more interesting and happiest guys I know. Despite being single, he doesn’t fit the “loser” stereotype. He is a very hard worker, seems to have all the money he’d ever need, and gets to spend lots of time with his friends (those people the married guys aren’t allowed to have).

When I graduated, I have to admit, I was a little confused. Before finding the MGTOW community, I didn’t really know what to think of myself. I never forgot my early memories, but the school system had me kind of confused. They put that “real man” garbage in my head and I started to doubt myself a little bit. Last summer, I finally found the manosphere and soon enough MGTOW. Things finally clicked. All the observations I made in the past made more sense; the pieces of the puzzle finally came together. Maybe MGTOW hasn’t “saved my life” since I was skeptical of marriage early on, but it has definitely made it better. I don’t have to doubt myself about this anymore.

Is MGTOW a Healthy Lifestyle?

Can a single life really be healthy? Sayings such as “behind every good man, there’s a woman” and “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” suggest that men who don’t enjoy these so-called advantages invariably suffer for it. Nowadays, people laugh at these old wives tails, decrying them as sexist nonsense, pure and simple. Equality is the watchword in the modern world: women don’t need to be subservient to males, and men can readily navigate life’s journey without a wife, as two other commentators point out:

Anonymous Share MGTOW 05
Well, as for myself most of the positive aspects of being MGTOW have been a profound clarity with regards to women’s nature in general as well as in personal situations hence: easier decision making. I am better focused on my personal goals and career. I am generally harder to get bribed or entangled with bad people. I am more bullshit proof. At first I had red pill rage and that decreased in time as my own dignity increased. I have less stress/worries over rather inane issues. I have an easier life / more laid-back-style and more personal freedom. My life is completely different now since going MGTOW, I’m getting promoted again! I have ended hate towards everyone.

Anonymous Share MGTOW 06

Going my own way is very enjoyable and I’m not willing to trade that for the supposedly wonderful experience of marriage. … I’m about to graduate with a degree in computer engineering from a prestigious university with absolutely no debt, my novel is almost done, my piano playing is getting nothing but better, I have my health, energy, a functioning body, and a functioning mind.


There are undoubtedly obstacles ahead for MGTOW, but history reveals that men are remarkable and the most resourceful beings on the planet. As they have done in the past, men will learn to overcome these and any other problems that may challenge the future survival of the bachelorhood lifestyle. At one time, single guys were stigmatized as losers—or worse—but not now. MGTOW are discovering independence, self-esteem, time and resources for personal interests and development, as well as the benefits of freeing themselves from outdated traditions and others’ expectations.

In sum, the brotherhood of MGTOW continues to grow, evolve and define new lifestyles, and to inspire a greater appreciation for what men are good at: solving problems, harnessing the world around us, and building communities. The difference this time, though, is that the brothers are doing it for themselves.

About the Author

Tim Patten has recently published MGTOW, Building Wealth and Power. He also wrote WHY I CHEAT11 campfire stories for men’s ears only. Both books are a celebration of masculinity and pay homage to the modern men’s liberation movement. Patten previously published a novel about establishing gender equality in professional sports, Roller Babes: 1950s Women of Roller Derby.

national coalition for men

Men Going Their Own Way

… NCFM’s legal name is still “Coalition for Free Men, Inc.”

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One Response to NCFM Member Tim Patten “Bachelorhood, Men Going Their Own Way Are Saving Lives”

  1. Bill on April 24, 2016 at 2:59 AM

    Excellent article. When you stop pursuing romantic relationships with woman you feel as though a massive weight has been lifted off your back. You will feel a great sense of serenity. Men have been sold this scam since about age 16 that your first priority is to have a woman. The fact is that you don’t need one. Let the women chase the Bad Boys they love so much.Finally when you stop pursuing women they lose all power over you. To go MGTOW you will encounter a lot of social pressure from family and friends. Just remember that these folks do NOT pay your salary so you can ignore them. I never had a boss who cared whether or not I had a girlfriend.

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