Grits Ain’t Groceries, Eggs Ain’t Poultrys, Rape Ain’t Sex*

By James Jackson

There is a statement that drives me CRAZY!  It is clearly false.  Undeniably false.  Yet many people state it as fact.  Continually.  This statement is a mantra for many people.  Probably most people.  They state it and point to the sky.  They mumble it in their sleep.  They speak it in 98 languages.  It is a foundation of their existence.  But it is obviously a lie.  I wonder how people can be so clueless.  So ridiculous.  So many.

Is it stupidity?  Is it a result of the failure of our educational system?  A Jedi mind trick?  Was it a subliminal message flashed on the screen during an Oprah Show?  Have I fallen into some bizarro world?  Is it political correctness run amuck?  Or is it a striking example of the effectiveness of propaganda and brainwashing?  (Yes, that last one.)

The statement that I hear constantly that drives me crazy is the first half of:  “Rape is not about sex, it is about power.”  I sometimes hear the variation: “Rape is not about sex, but violence.”  Rape is not about sex?  How can rape not be about sex?  The definition of rape is sex without consent.  How can that not be about sex?  Of course rape is about sex.  And power.  And violence.  And consent.  And a hundred other things.  RAPE IS, AMONG OTHER THINGS, ABOUT SEX.

So how can people say that rape is not about sex?  I would like to mention a few facts which will lead us to an answer.  First, feminists are the people who are saying that  “Rape is not about sex.”  Second, they usually say this when rape victims are accused of having very sexual appearances.  Third, these same feminists have no trouble saying that male sexuality is the main cause of rape—from porn to objectification of women to rape culture to toxic masculinity.

Obviously, feminists think that rape is about sex.  So why would they say that it isn’t?  Feminists say that rape is not about sex, to absolve women of all responsibility.

Feminists have a long history of just making stuff up.  If it sounds good and helps the cause, hey, throw it out there 549,104 times.  Someone will believe it.  Feminist lies have included such whoppers as: Domestic violence spikes on Super Bowl Sunday.  150,000 women die each year of anorexia.  Women are paid 79% of what men are paid for the same work.  Classroom bias is undermining schoolgirls’ self-esteem.  One in five college women are raped.  All heterosexual intercourse is rape.  And men are incapable of understanding and compassion.

So, it is no surprise that feminists would come up with “Rape is not about sex.”

And again, feminists say this to absolve women of responsibility.  As well as lying, feminists also have a long history of taking responsibility off of women and putting it onto men.  Examples are many. Here are several.  Women say that they want equality, but they still require that men handle all dating initiation and paying for dates.  “No means no” put too much responsibility on women, so feminists gave us “yes means yes” instead, putting all responsibility for sexual activities on men.  Many countries are adopting the Swedish Model for prostitution, where prostitutes are given aid and johns are put in jail.  Rather than having women participate in the usual legal procedure of proving college men guilty of sexual assault, feminists now require, instead, that these men prove themselves innocent.  Women who accuse men of sexual assault must be believed.  Women who falsely accuse men of rape should not be prosecuted.  Feminists recently discouraged use of a nail polish which could detect rape drugs in drinks because it put too much responsibility on women.  Anytime a woman is held responsible for anything, feminists cry that it is “victim-blaming.”

So, it is no surprise that feminists want to absolve women of all responsibility in rape.

Life is complicated.  Rape is complicated.  Of course, the rapist is ultimately responsible for the crime.  But that doesn’t mean that we cannot examine and try to reduce contributing factors.  This will hopefully lead to fewer occurrences.  Feminists understand this concept in regards to all men, since feminists blame men for the “rape culture,” which they say is the basis of rape.

What is “rape culture?”  The phrase seems quite popular.  But its meaning seems to vary with each feminist.  Is it all the magazines, films, books, music, etc., that promote rape?  Is it the patriarchy that encourages men to rape?  Is it that all heterosexual sex is rape and therefore normal?  Is it the concept that women are always blamed for their own rapes?  (Of course, that last one leads feminists to absolve women of all responsibility in rape.)  It is none of these.  There is no “rape culture.”  We are all horrified by rape.  Instead, we live in an anti-rape culture.  “Rape culture” is a feminist lie which demonizes men and absolves women of all responsibility.

Having rejected the ridiculous hyperbole of “rape culture,” we can still examine contributing factors to rape without elevating them to the cultural level.  Feminism, with concepts like “rape culture,” has already excessively examined the contributing factors of men, to the point of blaming everything men do.  But women are also responsible for some of the contributing factors of rape.  Maybe most.

Sex is powerful.  God and Mother Nature made it so.  It’s been a (the?) major driving force in the survival of our species.  Just think of all of the powerful men recently who have risked losing everything for sex.  Women are in control of sex.  They make the rules.  They make the rules in their favor.  Rape is an unfortunate side-effect of women’s rules.  Women use sex to get what they want.  They use sex to get attention, free drinks, free meals, diamonds, and a lifetime of being treated as they have become accustomed.  They have the POWER.  Remember that crazy statement mentioned earlier: “Rape is not about sex, it is about POWER.”  The first half is crazy, but the second half is true.  Rape, among other things, is about power—women’s sexual power.  And when women abuse that power, men are likely to rebel.  Most men rebel in innocuous ways.  But some men take all of the sexual power from women by raping.

So to deny that rape is about sex is not helpful.  We need to examine women’s domination of sex and their unwillingness to give it up.  I think women realize that sex is playing with fire.  That is why they do not allow five-year-old girls to wear makeup or dress provocatively.  Sex can be dangerous, for five-year-olds and twenty-five-year-olds.

We need to examine how women use and abuse sex, and stop the abuses.  That includes examining, over feminist objections, the way women dress.  And we need to somehow even out the sexual power differential between men and women, just as we are equalizing the economic and political spheres in which men have historically dominated.

I don’t mean to imply that a woman dressing provocatively will lead to her rape.  I believe that it is more general than that.  It is the way that all women dress which contributes to the frustration and powerlessness that men constantly feel.  Also, consider that women are often the harshest critics of rape victims’ sexual attire.  This is because women can continue to dress in their normal manner (which may be quite sexual) without guilt, if they believe that victims were raped because they were wearing extremely sexual and provocative attire.  These are the kinds of discussions that are shut down by “Rape is not about sex.”  We need to discuss these issues if we really want to end rape.

So, please don’t say “Rape is not about sex.”  It is clearly false, and it might set me off, again.

*”Grits ain’t groceries, eggs ain’t poultrys” is a line from the Blues song “All Around the World,” sung by Little Willie John, songwriter Noel Gallagher.

James Jackson writes for the “Self-Indulgent and Delusional” blog at http://hydrarch15.wix.com/selfindulgence

Grits Ain’t Groceries, Eggs Ain’t Poultrys, Rape Ain’t Sex

Tags: feminism, feminist, rape, sexual assault