I wrote much of the narrative below in 2014, which is as valid today as it was then. There’s a transition to a very brief and abbreviated peek at our work along with an announcement about our 45th anniversary meeting next July.

I, like you, have heard from family and friends with happy Thanksgiving wishes. I wish that of you as well, but my thoughts wonder to things not so Norman Rockwell.

I took a call from a 36-year-old father of three. He was crying, distraught, drained of hope. He has primary custody of the children and a restraining order against the mother. The mother routinely violates the restraining order. Neither the court nor police do anything about her criminal behavior. They will not arrest her, charge her with contempt, or intervene in anyway, except police have told her to leave when they caught her in the act. She calls our father of three 10, 20, 30 times or more a day, even when he’s at work. She stalks him, follows him, and berates him screaming at the top of her lungs. He is a wreck, missing work, may soon lose his job, cannot sleep, and headed for clinical depression.

He told me a familiar story about a friend, his friend, who lives just down the street. His friend sent his children a message on Facebook. The friend also had a restraining order, but it was against him. He was arrested, criminally charged and convicted of violating his restraining order. He is in jail. His arresting officers were two of the same officers who on numerous occasions cautioned and chased away the mentally unstable and potentially dangerous mother of our 36-year-old father of three. She is a character disordered histrionic with a history of incomprehensible outbursts often resulting in throwing things and more than once attacking our father of three with a steak knife, for which she has never been charged. Then there’s the children…

One “best wishes on Thanksgiving” year-end appeal for money says, “As we head into this holiday week, we wanted to take a moment and send our thanks to all of our subscribers, supporters, and volunteers. We are successful because you take the time to hear about our initiatives, share them with friends and family, and take action.”

Such successes haven’t done much for our father of three, his friend sitting in jail or the tens of thousands or men similarly situated.

Many organizations in our line of work don’t pick up the phone, let alone talk to distraught men and women. We do. And, have done so for years. Unfortunately, since we are a volunteer organization, we are unable to answer all inquiries, including emails and letters.

We don’t take any government money and never have since our start in 1977. We are completely funded by individual donations and the kind support from a handful of major contributors. Yet, we are the most productive 800 lb. gorilla in the zoo, also the oldest.

We may not be the most polished group, but NCFM is the only organization of its kind that historically and continuously causes significant changes. Or, as we like to say, we don’t just talk about it, we get things done. NCFM facilitated the national, if not international, movement to install diaper-changing tables in men’s restrooms, beginning with airports. Many of our members have won landmark court cases against businesses and nonprofit organizations discriminating against men because of their sex. In 2021, we launched a national chapter Women Against False Accusations led by Lori DeBolt, as well as formalizing our chapter in Georgia (the country) organized by Carl Augustsson. We have stood by two of our members for half a decade who were falsely accused. One of whom has been wrongly imprisoned, Christian “Kit” Martin. The other had his property and livelihood legally pilfered by corrupt California county officials, Jerry Cox. A few months ago, the United States Supreme Court agreed with our historic lawsuit against the Selective Service System (the “Draft”), but refused to give us our victory preferring once again to defer to the Congress. However, after considerable debate in Congress we are optimistic that women will soon be required to register for the Selective Service; or, conscription will end in the USA.

Our lead attorney, Marc Angelucci deserves huge credit for his work on many of our legal victories, including the Selective Service case. I very much wish he was here to see the outcome of all his hard work. Sadly, as many of you know, Marc was murdered July 11, 2020. He always wanted a legal group. We now have one and we are embarking on a major project concerning judges. Regardless, thanks to our beloved Marc and many NCFM members working on other projects, like, for example, those mentioned above, we have quite literally over the years helped tens of thousands of men, their families, and women who love them.

Next year is our 45th anniversary! To celebrate our national board meeting will be in Minnesota sponsored by our Twin Cities chapter. It will be in early July to include a celebration of life for Marc. All NCFM members and Marc’s friends are invited. We are working on the specifics and will make an official announcement in January or February. Of course, COVID is still a concern and we may have to work around it.

If you think what we have accomplished and continue to do is important, please consider including us in your holiday giving. Take a minute and go to http://ncfm.org/lead-with-us/join-ncfm/ to make a one time or reoccurring donation. Or, donate and become a member at https://ncfm.org/lead-with-us/join-ncfm/. Make a tax-deductible donation with us rather than paying the IRS to help the government create more programs hurtful to men and their families; or, send a check made out to The National Coalition For Men to NCFM, 932 C Street, Suite B, San Diego, CA 92101.

Most of all, thank you for helping us help you and many others make the world a better place for all of us. Maybe there really is a Norman Rockwell holiday for all of us someday, even our father of three, his children, their mother, and his friend having turkey supper in jail.

Best wishes to you and yours, along with a huge thank you for all your hard work and support.

Sincerely,

Harry Crouch
President, NCFM

NCFM President Harry Crouch Thanksgiving Thank You to You