There is a lot of talk, still in 2020, about women’s rights. You’d think the issue would have been addressed enough by now. After all, women compose more than half of college enrollment, have equal pay for equal work and any job they like, spend more money than men, are home owners, and disproportionately have primary custody of children.
Women’s rights have been the squeaky wheel of the last fifty years, and that wheel has been greased to the point of dripping on the street.
It seems only fair, at this point, to humbly ask, what do men need? There have been areas of society where women have been handed the short end of the stick. The same is true for men. Men and women used to die at the same age. Now men of the same race die an average of seven years sooner than women. Why is that? You know the list of the short end of the stick for men. Men die in war protecting women at a rate of a hundred to one. Men commit suicide more than women at a rate of five to one. Women inherit from men more than men inherit from women. Women, because of their longer life collect more social security than men, yet pay at the same rate. Finishing this list is what I need help with. (I hate ending a sentence with a preposition, but this article not meant as an academic treatise, it’s supposed to be chatty)
So this is where I need the help.
Men’s Rights? Let’s elaborate. I propose that we do this subject together. I will kick it off. I will begin the list with the hope that you as the reader will improve this article until it is comprehensive. Read the list and add to it. Correct it. Fine tune it. Give citations if you are the type that needs them. I welcome your input.
Each month I will add your input and publish the improved article.
Health Care
There is more money allotted for breast cancer than for prostate cancer.
Women spend more money on medical care than men. Do men subsidize women’s health care?
Suicide (Working on it)
Brady Quigley points out that 80% of suicides are men. Why is there no recognition of the causes for the disparity?
There is an effort being made on this subject. The effort can be found at Amnesty For Alienated American Parents (afaapaction.org). I, Fred Sottile, am an NCFM Board Member and am the National Spokesman for this effort. Feel free to contact me through the website.
Politics
There is a Federal department that addresses the needs of women. Is there a similar department for men?
There is a Congressional Caucus for women. Is there a similar caucus for men?
What exactly happened to VAWA?
Family Law
The average child custody dispute results in fathers getting an average of thirty present of the time. This is less than one third. Is this what we want? Why is this?
Karsten Schuh points out that violence against women by men is reacted to with urgency while violence by women against men is generally disregarded.
Work Environment
Men seem to do all the jobs that are dirty, difficult, and dangerous. Does that seem fair? A woman told me to give her a hundred bucks, and she would do anything I asked. I gave her the money and told her to paint my house. She said, “Not Funny.” What kind of woman was that?
Military (Working on it)
Brady Quigley points out Conscription. Why are men forced to sign up for the Military Draft, and women aren’t?
NCFM is doing something about this. We, in conjunction with other groups and lawyers are fighting this inequity in court and have made significant progress. It is my understanding that “the court” has opined that the matter must be compelled to be corrected by the Legislature. We will see if the court has the power to indeed make the legislature move.
Education
Pandering to the “fair sex” starts in elementary school. Little girls are inclined to sit and listen. That is the typical classroom format. Little boys need to move around and learn by looking, not listening. We all know this, yet schools are still formatted for little girls.
As puberty hits, girls mature earlier than boys. Boy’s natural sex drive must be subdued, while young women are allowed, and in fact encouraged, to display their sexual software, adding to the distraction and frustration of boys. Hello.
In college this disparity of hormonal differences is only increased. Women are protected from the advances of men, but men are not protected from the fancies of women.
This continues in the work world. Women are allowed to be provocative, yet provocation by men is often regarded as harassment or even rape. Women who desire attention from the cautious men only turn up the provocation until it becomes problematic. Women have created an environment where hiring them is often a path to trouble. Even many women I’ve talked to don’t want this, yet it’s the way it is today. Who really wants this? Why are they in charge? Harassment in the workplace; no one wants that. Having your life destroyed in the workplace; no one wants that even more.
Paternity
We have DNA tests. If the child is not yours, why are you forced by law to give money to its mother? Scam, Scam, Scam!
Please be aware that this list addresses MEN’S RIGHTS that are systemic, not personal dating, marriage or social issue problems you may have individually. Those issues are under your control. An issue such as being ordered to accept paternity responsibilities of a child who is not yours is not under your control.
So this is the beginning of the effort. Let’s make a definitive list. With the list, we can track our progress. I say, men’s issues have not just been ignored; they have been poo pooed for decades. I think we need a score card. I really do. I am tired of “The Dialog.” I want measureable results. Women have made great strides. The job of “empowering” women was dirty, difficult, and dangerous so men really helped. Now I believe that women with their advanced degrees should see the value and fairness in helping men. Ladies, show us that you can do any job a man can do and fix this inequity, or is it too much for you, and we’ll have to do it ourselves?
Either way, ladies and gentlemen, please improve my crude start with your productive comments. I’m sure you’re better at this than I, so show me your expertise. Make it right.
This is very interesting! This article gives good and wonderful content for everyone to read!
Hello, Fred Sottile!
I have a few more suggestions for your list.
There will be a couple subjects that I cover.
Here’s a list of just random facts, to include:
– Gay men are 5 times more likely to become a victim of a hate crime than lesbians are. Some years, it is 6 times.
– Gay men (and bi men) are unfairly denied being able to donate blood. It used to be that men who are with men in some way could not donate blood at all, but now it is that they have to be cellibate for a year. Lesbians (and bi women) are not restricted in the same way, nor are they restricted at all.
– A study found that gay men are viewed more negatively than lesbians in every country of the world. (At least of the countries studied – but there were many studied.)
– Gay men were originally going to be unfairly denied the right to adopt, while the same judge was perfectly fine with lesbians adopting.
– There are a multitude of countries in which only gay men are criminalized, there are many countries in which gay men are criminalized more, and there are several countries in which gay men and lesbians are criminalized equally. However, there is not a single country in which lesbians are criminalized moreso or only.
– White, middle-aged men are the most likely to commit suicide – constituting around 60% of all suicides.
– 1 in 50, or 2%, of the male population is in jail. Most of this is due to anti-male bias.
– 1 in 3, or around 33%, of the black male population is in jail. Most of this is due to anti-male bias, in which black men are seen to be much more dangerous.
– Men get 63% longer sentences than women for the same crime and background, and women are twice as likely to avoid incarceration.
– Men who kill their wives actually get an average sentence of about 17.5 years, while women who kill their husbands get an average of 6.2 or 6.5 years. Just looking at the 6.2 one, men get 182% longer sentences than women for killing an opposite-sex partner, nearly 3 times the amount as the 63% rate of all crimes.
– According to the findings of the 2010 NISVS study broken down by sexuality (1): 13.1% of lesbians, 46.1% bi women, and 17.4% of straight women have been raped throughout their lifetimes; 47.4% of bi men, 40.2% of gay men, and 20.8% of straight men have become the victim of sexual violence other than rape (though, really, it’s just rape).
– That translates to: 214,000 lesbians, 1.5 million bi women, and 19 million straight women; 1.1 million gay men, 903,000 bi men, and 21.6 million straight men.
– Meaning: gay men are 5.14 times more likely to be raped; bi women are 1.66 times more likely to be raped than bi men; and straight men are 1.13 times more likely to be raped than straight women.
– Total: 23,603,000 men and 20,714,000 women.
– Translation: 44,317,000 total, 53.26% male and 46.74% female.
– Broken down by sexuality: 1,314,000 gay (83.71% male); 2,403,000 bi (37.58% male); and 40,600,000 straight (53.2% male).
– The life expectancy difference can vary widely. For example, Russian women live 12 years longer than Russian men.
Now, onto Domestic Violence!
Resources: 2, 3
– While every 15 seconds a woman is severely assaulted by her husband or boyfriend, a man is severely assaulted by his wife or girlfriend every 14.6 seconds.
– 35 to OVER 50% of domestic violence (and/or abuse) victims are male.
– 10 to 20% of women and 30% of men who assault their partners do it in self-defense.
– Women report sticking the first blow far more often than men.
– Women are nearly twice as likely to use a weapon when assaulting an opposite-sex partner than men are.
– The American public is much more accepting of a woman abusing her male partner than a man abusing his female partner: only 2.5% of American males believe it is acceptable for a man to hit his female partner, while many more people believe it is acceptable for a woman to hit her male partner.
– Mothers who request sole custody are awarded it 65% more than fathers who request it.
– 71% of children murdered by one parent are murdered by their mothers.
– 60% of children who die as a result of child abuse are boys.
References:
1. https://www.acesdv.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/NISVS_FactSheet_LBG-a.pdf
2. https://acidmensrights.wordpress.com/2020/12/03/domestic-abuse-violence-factsheet-1/
3. https://acidmensrights.files.wordpress.com/2020/12/domestic-abuse-violence-factsheet-1-2.pdf
I hope this helps.
Nice job. Thank you for providing an easy to understand list along with supporting references.
I liked the open nature of your text. We need measurable results and not just talk. We’re the target of the only socially acceptable prejudice in our society. Some biases bother me more than others, but being considered a lesser valued parent is my hot-button issue.
I had a frank talk with a State Legislator about Family Rights. He told me, “John, there would have to be a ‘sea change’ in public opinion before significant reform could pass.”
How do we create a sea change? How did public opinion about segregation change in the 50s? It wasn’t a scientific study that convinced people making a Black pee in a different bathroom was wrong. No spontaneous call for change from millions of conscientious, church going Blacks and Whites.
The ‘sea change’ was caused by images of peaceful Blacks being dragged off to jail from the front of the bus, the Freedom Riders. Blacks who weren’t motivated by anger at Whites. Blacks who were in love with their goal of equality and dignity for all people. Peaceful Blacks not resisting mistreatment from cops — all with the cameras rolling. People could finally see for themselves. The stereotypes were not true.
Stopped from being a full & equal parent? A Court blocking a moral imperative, an obligation of conscience. Isn’t it our unique duty as parents to love and nurture our children? When we talk about GREAT Civil Rights — don’t they all come from the same foundation? The freedom to follow and act according to our conscience. Our Freedom of Speech, Freedom of Religion, our Personal Liberty? What of the Freedom to Love our Children? Public ‘policy’ should NOT block duties of conscience.
How do perceived big-bad-selfish-insensitive-threatening-controlling-violent men create a sea change? Not just by talking, but by demonstrating the exact opposite behavior regarding our children. The ability to parent should be one of our most valued rights. If we think it is, the most effective way to convert the minds & hearts of others is by our willingness to sacrifice our freedom for what we believe in.
Please stop looking for scientific support for equal parenting. We diminish ourselves and our GREAT right when we do that. From my past NonViolent Actions I’ve had the chance to spend quite a bit of time in jail with other people. I can tell you that 90% of them were exactly guilty of what the police charged them with (if not worse).
Would you support a ‘law’ that said anyone charged with a crime should just be convicted then & there? Do we really want to run the risk of letting these dangerous people hurt other innocents? Better safe than sorry! Why do we have a presumption of innocence, require trials, and a unanimous jury verdict?
Because we are about to take someones Freedom. We are about to interfere with a GREAT right. Shouldn’t the same level of attention be required before we can’t express the love we have for our children?
It’s been a long time since America has seen a grass roots Civil Rights movement. Before we see serious reform, it will need to see another. Parents need to act in ways that will change the heart of the Nation if we want to see a Family Rights Act passed. An Act that will recognize & protect our ability to love and nurture our kids — just as our conscience calls for.
But enough words/talk. Here is a brief 5 minute video of an arrest with a surprise ending. Just imagine the impact if it was several mothers and fathers demonstrating the same level of conviction, cameras rolling -> https://youtu.be/MKYlYfTgrOk
Best regards!
John Murtari
Biggest way to decrease male suicide is through reforming family law. Realizing during the divorce with my wife was actually also divorcing me from my son and that i lost a son who was still living, but being taught to hate me by his mother and her recruits, while being exploited fully financially during and after the divorce was enough to push any sane man to the brink of self- and other- harm. Perhaps sane men would not have turned around at the brink and who would have executed and been sent to prison.
A child, taught to hate his father for no discernable reason, who lost everything, what does that boy have to look forward to? A woman who will then turn on him if he doesn’t do exactly as she pleases (his mother), or, when grown, a woman who will divorce rape him for all his aspirations of family and fatherhood? A quick comparison of leading causes of suicide matches almost exactly with all the losses almost exclusively borne by men in divorce.
Fix that, and you will come a long way to fixing make suicide, and better yet, better outcomes for children and society besides.
Hi John, please go to afaapaction.org read the website and contact me. We have a plan.