YouTuber Herby Revolus (Homegirl-Feminine Man) recently released a segment titled “Diddy & the Real Reason Men Support Ab*sers.” I know of no man who supports men being abusive. Not one. Having worked with hundreds of male and female abusers and survivors (often one in the same) in various capacities, including designing, running, and overseeing related programs, I find the premise deeply flawed, like the counterproductive debate over which sex abuses more, since abuse is not gender specific. Simply put, people who abuse are damaged.

Revolus, who says he knows about men’s rights activists, presents as a practicing feminist and progressive cultural commentator. He claims to conduct extensive research, reportedly reading “thousands of articles a day.” But perhaps it’s time for him to step away from his screen and engage with real-world experiences—spending time in prisons, collaborating directly with both abusers and victims, or even riding along with law enforcement officers. Despite his voluminous research, he seems to have missed key books, studies, and reports on the systematic disadvantages boys and men face—often at the hands of ideological misandrists or those blinded by personal bias or politics. Since he is a researcher, he should be able to easily find at least one of those.

Interestingly, in his video missive, he specifically referenced the National Coalition For Men and Paul Elam, yet from what I can tell, other than regurgitating old news, he has not meaningfully engaged with our work.

Since Revolus enjoys reading, he might find recent state reports advocating for Commissions on the Status of Boys and Men enlightening. However, instead of broadening his perspective, he appears content criticizing others for citing Richard Gelles’ groundbreaking work on intimate partner violence from the 1970s, as if its age alone invalidates later research. Revolus did not mention the violent and abusive treatment, including death threats, that Dr. Gelles endured at the hands of feminists enraged over his findings. To my knowledge, none of whom were ever held accountable. Instead, they stayed perpetual victims in the public narrative.

Additionally, one of our group members pointed out an alarming imbalance in President Biden’s 2024 health initiative, which gave tens of millions of dollars to women’s health while providing zero dollars for men’s health—as if men face not even one medical concern. Aside from which, he wrote that Biden, who takes credit for championing the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), was instrumental in limiting male testimony about equal-perpetration research findings during VAWA public hearings.

Then someone mentioned Biden growing up in a home in which his sister Valerie could abuse at will “with absolute impunity”.

Reflecting on all this reminded me of an article I wrote back in 2008 (below)—touching on many of these same issues. You might find it interesting. Perhaps even Herby will read it. Given his penchant for ancient history and nitpicking, he should have a field day. Seventeen years ago. Enjoy..

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Tags: A VOICE FOR MEN, Commissions for the Status of Boys and Men, Herby Revolus, Homegirl, joe biden, national coalition for men, paul elam, Richard Gelles, vawa, violence against women act