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False Accusations

January 11, 2009
By

 

false accusations

False accusers should be held accountable. They should be arrested and prosecuted. There is no, as in zero, valid reasons those who destroy other peoples' lives with false accusations should go unpunished.

 False accusations of sexual assault are rape of a different color.

Almost every month we read of another man freed from prison after years of incarceration because the false accusations that sent them to prison were proven false.  Even if there is no conviction, a false allegation of rape can emotionally, socially, and economically destroy a person.  False accusations of rape are a form of psychological rape that is not included in the traditional definition of “rape.”  And false accusations are not studied enough because it’s politically incorrect to talk about. Meanwhile the names of the accusers are often protected while the names of the accused are not.  False accusations are hard to measure and there is not much available research, but the existing research shows the problem is much more common than we are told.  For example:

A study in India found 18% of rape accusations are false and are often “coached.”

In a study by the U.S. Air Force, about one-forth of rape accusers recanted just before taking a lie detector test or after failing one.  Further research found 60% of the accusations were false.  The most common reasons given for making false accusations were spite or revenge, feelings of guilt or shame, or to cover up an affair.  McDowell, Charles P., Ph.D. “False Allegations.” Forensic Science Digest, (publication of the U.S. Air Force Office of Special Investigations), Vol. 11, No. 4 (December 1985), p. 64. (see Center for Military Readiness article “Sex, Lies, and Rape” for an excellent discussion of false accusations).

Some studies represent false accusations are 50% of allegations examined.

In a nine-year study of 109 rapes reported to the police in a Midwestern city, Purdue sociologist Eugene J. Kanin reported that in 41% of the cases the complainants eventually admitted that no rape had occurred.  In a follow-up study of rape claims filed over a three-year period at two large Midwestern universities, Kanin found that of 64 rape cases, 50% turned out to be false.  Among the false charges, 53% of the women admitted they filed the false claim as an alibi.  Kanin, EJ, “An alarming national trend: False rape allegations,” Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol. 23, No. 1, 1994. Kanin was once well known and lauded by the feminist movement for his groundbreaking research on male sexual aggression.  But His studies on false rape accusations received very little attention.

According to an expert quoted in the CBC News Story Below, ”for a four-year period from 2003-2007, 31 per cent of sexual assault claims that Ottawa Police investigated were dismissed as unfounded — that is, they never happened — as opposed to unsubstantiated, where there isn’t enough evidence to follow the case.”

According to a 1996 Department of Justice report, “in about 25% of the sexual assault cases referred to the FBI, … the primary suspect has been excluded by forensic DNA testing. It should be noted that rape involves a forcible and non-consensual act, and a DNA match alone does not prove that rape occurred. So the 25% figure substantially underestimates the true extent of false allegations.   Connors E, Lundregan T, Miller N, McEwen T. Convicted by juries, exonerated by science: Case studies in the use of DNA evidence to establish innocence after trial. June 1996.

The myth that only two percent of rape accusations are false, often falsely attirubuted to FBI data, is not credible and has been debunked.  Greer, The Truth Behind Legal Dominance Feminism’s ‘Two Percent False Rape Claim’ Figure, 33 Loyola of Los Angeles Law Review 947.

Falsely accused men are disproportionately African-American men.

Here are just a few sample stories about false accusations:

Three years in prison for framing innocent man (2/25/10)

Four young men traumatized by false rape accusations

Man released on rape charge after 22 years in prison.

6 falsely accused young men rescued by video of orgy directed by accuser.

Female rapists sentenced for rape and false accusation. And, her name was not released to the press!

Women falsely claims rape to justify lover’s attack on ex boyfriend.

17 year old boy released after false rape accusation.

Innocent man falsely accused of rape to win back lover.

U.K. judge jails “skillful actress” who falsely accused man of rape.

The claim that only 2% of rape accusations are false is totally unfounded and is purportedly based on FBI crime data (though we have yet to see this confirmed), and crime data is never a reliable source to project upon the population as a whole, as compared to empirical research.  But no matter what the numbers are, there is no excuse for the lack of attention to the problem.  Falsely accused persons are victims too, and to deny or downplay the experiences of those victims is a hypocritical form of victim-blaming.

Much more attention and research is needed in this area.   False accusers should be prosecuted (they rarely are) and face same punishment their accused could receive.  And the names of the accused should be protected as much as the names of the accusers.  For more, see http://falserapesociety.blogspot.com/

We should give men charged with rape anonymity and like the rare cases above charge their accusers and release the women’s names to protect the public.

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201 Responses to False Accusations

  1. johnny on January 28, 2010 at 5:00 AM

    my ex filed a restraining order on me that i havent been served with ,since shes filed shes contacted me several times doesnt that render the restraining order void?

  2. Robert on January 18, 2010 at 9:00 PM

    Please forgive the music.

  3. Robert on January 18, 2010 at 8:59 PM

    There is one thing that stands as an enemy to innocent men and women;
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Go7cyTlao04
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6lIurF3wA4&fe

  4. wife of another vict on December 8, 2009 at 12:07 PM

    I too am married to a man who has been wrongly accused of abuse. During their marriage she was always the aggressor. After he and I got married and she found out I was pregnant, she started to get worse with her antics. My husband decided to take her back to court for more visitation. She was told by her attorney and his that my husband "would" get more time. She stated that she would not allow that and if she had it her way, he wouldn't be in the girls lives at all. Two days later she called the police accusing him of physically abusing the oldest girl. We hired an attorney and went to court. She had coached her daughter on what to say. At 5 she said "my mommy told me to tell you that daddy put bruises on my bottom" On top of that, in court she also testified that her mommy told her to say those things and that my husband was her step-daddy. Fortunately, the jurors saw the lies and my husband was aquitted. But that was only part of it. During these two years, my husband only got to see the girls supervised for 4 hours a month in which the youngest who had just turned 3 at the time would say to my husband "mommy says that you don't love us because you put bruises on sissy's bottom". He had to go through anger management and parenting classes, which he completed all of them. Then he had to go through court again for reunification therapy before the girls were allowed back in our home. Since they have been in our home, she has taken him back to court 2 more times. The most recent was to try and have the extra time he was given taken away because she thought that we ate macaroni and cheese for dinner every night. The judge ordered them to go to co-parenting. I think she realized that she was going to lose more time, because she found a way to manipulate the system again and stop the proceedings. She came to the house to pick up the girls and left. She then came back to the house to start an arguement with my husband. When she didn't win the arguement, she went home and then called the police to say that my husband assaulted her. Two days later at their next co-parenting appointment she played the victim, co-parenting was stopped, a copy of the police report was requested and everything sits in limbo.

    Hopefully things work in our favor and she is seen for the liar she is. It appears that the police report shows her the aggressor since she left and then came back to our home and my husband never left the doorstep. Also, the officer reported that she showed him how my husband supposedly grabbed her but the way in which she did seemed to be suspect as it left marks that she claimed my husband left. When he went to the car to get the camera to take pictures, he came back and the marks on her arms were gone. No pictures were taken even though she claimed to the co-parenting therapist that pictures were taken.

    Our only hope is that the when the therapist gets a copy of the police report that it becomes apparent to the therapist that his ex is again making an attempt to interfer with our visits and my husbands rights as a father.

    I hope the therapist recommends the psychological evaluation that she needs and sweet justice would be that the DA actually persues a false police report against her.

    It is unfortunate that we will always have to be on our guard around her and that we still have 12 years to deal with the sociopath.

  5. Bob Ludlum on November 24, 2009 at 3:08 PM

    False allegations of domestic violence have been made against myself. I can only say that this crime should be made a felony with jail time. It costs several thousand dollars to defend against such false statements and injures innocent people. Not to mention wastes
    the time of the Court. The tactic is well known to Judges, attorneys and law enforcement officials.

  6. Saleemah A. Green on November 11, 2009 at 12:04 AM

    NCFM:

    I commend you for standing up and speaking out on behalf of men everywhere. I applaud your recent press release calling Rihanna to come forth and own some accountability in the unfortunate chain of events leading up to her assault earlier this year.

    I am a 37 year-old African-American woman with 3 brothers so I have seen many Rihannas come and go. I cannot begin to count the number of times I have witnessed instances when my brothers, friends, neighbors, etc. have been pushed away from their homes, taken to jail, or forced to withstand verbal and physical abuse from women. In at least half of those instances, the women perpetrated or escalated the entire episode.

    Like NCFM, I am not condoning Chris' behavior but I am undeniably standing behind your message to her and to the public. Again, I commend you for your words.

    Thank you!

    Saleemah A. Green, M. Ed
    Cincinnati, OH

  7. Gigi Cabrera on November 9, 2009 at 11:01 PM

    Hello All,

    I am the current girlfriend (1.5 yrs) of a man who is being falsely accused of DV by his ex and mother of his 7 year old child. This woman who is actually the abuser, put a RO against him back in April 2008 after following him around town until she found him at a gas station where he stopped because he thought he had lost her. She then (5′10″ and probably over 200lbs) jumped him, bit and scratched him, and broke his laptop after getting it out of the car. All this while their daughter looked on from her vehicle and people at the station witnessed on. Someone called the police and when they arrived, she accussed him of beating her but thankfully for him people attested to the contrary and she ended up getting arrested. He bailed her out and to his surprise that was his worse mistake: she went back to police station and accussed him of beating her and they went and arrested him. He who had just bailed her out for assaulting him in front of a bunch of other people! She also accussed him of assaulting their child and got DSS involved. Its been the same story ever since, she follows him around, calls him incessantly, leaves him messages threatening him, vandalizes his property, shows up at his house/job or his sisters house if he doesnt pick up her calls, has accussed him of violating RO which has landed him in jail, he is currently out on $6000 bail. She also coupled up with her sister who accussed him of assaulting her and thru a bogus witness was able to also get a RO against him. And now if either of them even sees him on the street, they follow him and call the police. Yesterday actually, the siter saw a friend of his at a barber shop and immediately went to police and accussed him of violating the RO more than a week ago. A warrant for his arrest was issued and now all he thinks about is killing himself because he doesnt know how he’s going to be able to get rid of all the problems without having to go to jail first and having an even longer rap sheet, all due to this woman’s obsession with him. She says she rather see him dead than with another woman.
    What I would like to know is, what can he do to defend himself from all these bogus claims and get all these charges dropped? If he has proof that she is falsely accussing him as well as her sister, can any charges be brought against them? Can he too get a RO against them both? He has eye witnesses, text messages, emails, voice mails, recordings (audio and camera)of her following him and screaming obsceneties at him and his phone records that show that she is the one to call not the other way around. He asked for a RO back in July 09 after she showed up where he used to work and again assaulted him in front of his boss, coworkers and customers and then started slapping their child as an example of what happens when he doesnt pick up her calls but got denied. This has gotten way out of hand and i would like to somehow find a way to help him and put an end to this crazy woman’s madness.

    Thanks,

    Gigi

  8. Daveyone on November 8, 2009 at 5:47 AM

    Take a look at my latest at;
    http://www.daveyonefamilylawman.blogspot.com/
    Best wishes
    Davey

  9. Bill on November 6, 2009 at 9:22 PM

    Jill, your husband needs a lawyer for one. Second what was he doing in a bar and kissing some random broad after he was busted for dui after he was busted for stealing beer. How was he getting home from the bar, drive? He had no business being in the bar. I find it hard to believe that they arrested him on the "evidence" you speak of….and I find it also hard to believe hes on parole for stealing beer. You have to be not sharing something about him….

  10. Bill on November 6, 2009 at 9:07 PM

    Don.. it takes 2 people to agree to have sex…dont make it as if the woman controls it all…the guy has to be involved as well. Guys have to learn how to keep it in their pants as well as woman not be so willing to sleep around….We need to get back to morals. No sex before marriage and get to know the person your marrying very very very well BEFORE you say those vows

  11. Bill on November 6, 2009 at 8:59 PM

    I think what the biggest thing is that people A) Dont really get to know the person they are marrying BEFORE they get married. B) Are not willing to go thru counseling or work things out, marriage vows say "till death do us part" not "till a judge lets me out of the marriage" and C) the fact that so many people have to resort to violence and lies about others…God's greatest commandment says " Love one another as you would love yourself" EVERYONE needs to be willing to work things out, stop lying and start facing life and the challenges it brings and deal with it.

  12. Chris on November 6, 2009 at 12:10 PM

    After reading your stories, I just wanted to chime in briefly…

    First of all, my heart goes out to all of you who are suffering and struggling in the wake of cruel, unjust and malicious false accusations. I wish all of you the best as you work to rebuild your lives, reestablish your careers and reconnect with those close to you. I'm glad to see that there's an organization like NCFM taking up mens' issues. As a young man, you give me hope that there are people working toward a more just future.

    My second comment is to Contessa…this world needs more people like you!!! Your comments here are articulate, insightful and heartfelt. I sincerely appreciate your advocacy and your dedication. Your husband should feel incredibly lucky to have you…I wish you both the best. Please keep up your amazing work!

  13. Chelle on November 4, 2009 at 6:22 AM

    Our system today is screwed up. My father who raised my 3 sisters, 3 aunts, and their daughters in our home with my mother was convicted 5 years ago of child molestation and rape and received a life sentence. The false allegations made by my twin stepsisters out of spite for being punished have ruined our lives. They have gone on like nothing has happened. Our family couldn't afford an attorney and therefor one was appointed by the state. Guess what, this guy never had been on a case like this as he only handled DUI's. Although there was no evidence, and my step-sisters stories changed consisitently our father was still taken from us. Our whole family is in support of my father but no one can afford the cost it would take to have him free'd. My father a hard working man that would give you the shirt off his back, didn't have a thing on his record and now he sits wasting away in a Washington state prison. And guess what? They say he's one of the best prisoners they have never causes trouble, works…Model prisoner. :(

  14. Don on October 26, 2009 at 6:41 PM

    REMEDY:
    BIG NUMBER ONE: Just keep “it” in your pants, guys.
    2) Women who are overtly sexual always have something rattling loose in their brains. Avoid them at all cost, or else you’re injecting poison into your life.
    3) Get over your fascination with bisexual women. They’re loonie-toons.
    They can’t decide who or what they are. Doesn’t that tell you something?
    4) If your woman ever confesses to you that she’s been abused, as soon as you can, EJECT HER FROM YOUR LIFE. She will certainly claim SHE was the victim, but there’s always TWO sides to the story. Also, she’s more likely to call the police on YOU for the slightest infraction due to her past experience.
    5) Keep your eyes and ears open for the slightest indication of a controlling personality. If you sense this, ditch her!
    6) DO NOT BECOME INTIMATE WITH FEMALE LAWYERS!!!!!!! ARE YOU CRAZY???
    7) If she seems the slightest bit physical, lose her.
    YOU’LL DISMISS ALL THIS AS B.S. UNTIL YOU FIND YOURSELF SITTING IN A TINY CELL WITH A 300# AXE MURDERER, YOUR RIGHTS STRIPPED AWAY, YOUR LIFE RUINED.
    I’ll take no pleasure whatsoever in saying “I told you so!”.

  15. Don on October 26, 2009 at 6:27 PM

    Just today I was told by a friend that a man was seen hanging by the neck from a pine tree, in full view of rush hour traffic.
    I’LL BET I KNOW WHY HE DID IT.

  16. Don on October 26, 2009 at 6:14 PM

    Lets’ face it. What we’re seeing here is the swan song of heterosexual marriage. It’s being killed off with brutal efficiency. You can thank those lesbians who are outraged that THEY have been historically denied the right to get married, along with the greed of unscrupulous women and their equally slimy lawyers. They fuel this unfortunate phenomena any way they can.
    The lawyer cop-out: “Hey, this is a no-win situation for the guy…might as well make some money off his misery anyway.
    After my own outrageous experience with a deranged ex making false accusations against me and so deftly manipulating societal tools meant to protect women with LEGITIMATE concerns, I AM SO VERY GLAD I’VE NEVER MARRIED…and I’m in my late forties.
    Need companionship? BE SMART, GUYS. GET A DOG!

  17. Don on October 26, 2009 at 10:54 AM

    Guys…
    1) Face it. Sex was never meant to be YOUR domain, like the sea is the domain of a hungry, great white SHARK. THE WOMAN still typically give consent for sex. Don't be a fool and believe otherwise.
    2) WOMEN:
    A. …GIVE CONSENT FOR MARRIAGE TO TAKE PLACE
    B. …GIVE CONSENT FOR SEX TO TAKE PLACE
    C. …GIVE CONSENT FOR BABY-MAKING TO TAKE PLACE.
    Typically (and don't whine, "but what about rape?!!!" to me…), women control all these things.
    3) Don't be fooled into thinking you have ANY SAY-SO in these matters.
    A very famous female columnist once said, "Women think in very PRACTICAL terms in regards to marriage."
    Guys who date two- three women at once do so for a very healthy reason…to cull out the nut-jobs.

  18. chad bolin on October 26, 2009 at 1:16 AM

    4 years ago i was falsely accused of indecent contact with 2 of 3 of my kids by my x wife.she is bi-polar,manic depresed with personality disorders,and yet i was railroaded by law enforcement.2 polygraphs,30,000dollars,4 years of grief im back where i was before.she is still mentally ill and in control.nobody and i mean nobody will help.i never went to trial ,charges were droped but the damage is already done.my kids were 3,4&5 at the time.and for 4 years she has been running me into the ground to them.what does a person do?what can i do?

  19. Jill on October 23, 2009 at 8:15 PM

    I don’t know if this is the right place, but in reading your posts, it seems that I may have finally found a group of people who understand my torment. My husband (we are newlyweds of 5 months) was doing great in his life, a student about to pass his classes and enter in to a new career, attending church weekly, attending AA due to a DUI he received just prior to giving up alcohol a year ago. It seems his life was just getting on track. Yes, he did something dumb when he was about 21 years old, he got drunk and stole some beer from a small store. He admitted his guilt, served his time and was on parole.

    About a month before he stopped drinking, he stopped in a bar one night to play pool and have a couple beers, he had visited this bar before (maybe twice) and a woman approached him as soon as he walked through the door, she had obviously had a few, she said she had seen him there before, so he invited her to have a drink and play a game of pool. After a couple games of pool and a couple drinks, she took a few shots of tequila and began to kiss him. He admits to kissing her for a minute or two but then stopped and told her he didn’t want to do this. She said “whatever” and seemed to be upset when she left. What happened to this woman next (by the way, he didn’t even get her name)is unclear to us, as my now husband’s sister showed up at the bar to drive him home and he left. Now a year later, a lifetime later, my now husband is arrested and they say this woman was raped that night and his DNA was found on her neck (saliva), no other DNA on her matched him, but since he was the only match that came up in the computer (because of his parole status, they had his DNA on file). They issued a warrant for his arrest. Arrested him out of the blue all because he kissed a woman (consensually) in a bar one night!!!! My husband is the most gentle man I have ever met, he was raised by 5 sisters who taught him against abusing women, and he would never do such a thing. The bartender saw the man she left with that night, and when shown a picture of my husband, said no that was NOT the man she left with…….so why did they arrest him?? The description she gave of the “rapist” (if there was one) was of a man with a tattoo on his stomach, which my husband does not have, an earring, which my husband has never worn an earring, so why did they arrest my husband???? When shown a photo lineup of possible suspects, the woman recognized my husband and said she thinks he looks familiar……of course he LOOKED familiar, she was only kissing on him earlier that night about 4 shots of tequila earlier in her memory!

    We know nothing about this woman except that the people who work at that bar roll their eyes and act as if her rape claims are crazy. Because of this crazy false accusation, my husband must sit in jail for at least the next 12 months waiting for his day in court (you cannot have bail when you are on parole) He is contemplating suicide and has been medicated in the jail and all I can do is sit in my house and wait for a collect phone call from him so I can try to encourage him and pray with him while I, myself, am dying inside, wheres the justice? How do I tell people, friends, my daughter’s classmates parents, where my new husband is? The only person who knows is our pastor and he encourages me without being judgemental. Why does society believe these woman? Why can’t some laws be passed to go after people who use accusations to tie up courts when it can be proven the accusations are false? I’m just so disheartened with our society now, I pray something will change for the better soon.

  20. Scott on October 22, 2009 at 12:07 PM

    Andrew, I haven't heard from you here or via email…i am praying you are ok and not being held in jail. I hope to hear from you soon! If you email, me put False Accusations in the subject line so I know it is you.

  21. Jose on October 22, 2009 at 6:06 AM

    I dont know if anyone has heard of the female student at HOFSTRA University that accused four men of raping her, but its really aggravating to me. She went out to a club or some event, met some guys and had consentual sex with all of them while one other guy videotaped it with his cell phone. Afterwards she goes home to her noyfriend and he started questioning her as to what she was doind and where she was. In order to keep him from finding out about it she lies and says she was raped by 4 guys in a bathroom stall. They go down to campus security and file a complaint. The police arrested all four guys and their faces were plastered all over the news. Then when the prosecuter was interviewing her they brought up the fact that there might be a videotape and all of a sudden her story collapsed. She ends up confessing that it was consentual and the boys are let free. Now what drives me crazy about this is that these boys were about to face up to 27 years in prison, their names and faces were all over the news, reputations destroyed, and the police did not want to release even the name of the girl involved. She just ruined their lives and they wouldnt give up her name? Then she doesnt even go to jail for it. She should have to face the same prison term they would have if they were convicted.Its such a double standard. All a woman has to do is say something happened and she is automatically beleived to be telling the truth. Why hasnt some mens organization caused an uproar over this? The national organization of women has caused an uproar over David Letterman and his sex scandal and he didnt even break any laws. All he did was damage his marriage, he didnt do anything illegal. The double standard here is ridiculous and if the womens organization is going to flip out over something like David Letterman then the mens organizations should be fighting back. If it happened to these four boys it could happen to any man and there may not be a video to prove their innocence the next time.

  22. Daveyone on October 21, 2009 at 2:59 AM
  23. Katherine on October 20, 2009 at 8:56 PM

    I would love if someone has some links I can research on children/teens with mood disorders making false allegations. My wonderful 13 year old daughter made allegations of molestation against her stepdad who has been in her life since she was 3 months old. NOBODY believes this to be true…except for human servises and the district attourney. Her bio dad's family are even highly doubtful in her claims. My husband is a caring, selfless, sweet man. I KNOW from work experience children with mental illness do this, but the only info I am finding online is false allegations from custody and divorce issues. I want to help my daughter, but there are so many "holes" in her story, and I think the help she needs is to help her out of the hole she has dug herself in. She refuses to testify because "she is afraid no one will believe her and she will go to jail for lying. HELLO! I strongly believes my husbands life long character should speak for his innocence. I can't believe the so called "experts" can believe her soley based on her 20 minute disclosure. They never looked into her mental health background, or researched the family. We had witnesses in the house during the time period my daughter is allegating it to happen. Her statments are riddled with things that are untrue…such as I was asleep when this was going on….NO, I was in and out of the room and up and around! It goes on and on. Anyway, like I said, I am looking for info on children with mental heath issues making false allegations, or having false memories.

  24. Daveyone on October 19, 2009 at 9:57 PM

    Parental alienation or maunchausens syndrome by proxy is the cruelest thing and woman can do to a devoted dad, but is a weapon they can use with impunity. Equality in society stops at the family court room door, men become doormats and nobody cares the judge the lawyer the social worker the mental health professionals have reverse the premis innocent till proven guilty!
    I have had the grilling through court yet in 6 years I have not had a word against me as a father but the contact orders where not enforced on the mother, but added to what is now 25 months of no contact, time in a limited childhood that will never come back, I just hope some day they will come back to me but I already have anticipated regret!
    I guess this is small potatoes compared to some of the harrowing accounts here and my ex stopped with her acusations of calling me an alchoholic which nobody believe as I was a trucker for major national companies and in fact she has a criminal record for an assult on me not the reverse, but makes no different in our secretive family court rooms. Time may heel who knows I feel for you guys hard stomarch churning pain if only someone in authority would feel it ! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mpif_uGysno
    Take your pick from this lot; http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=CAFCA

  25. Stoneofrefuge on October 19, 2009 at 9:08 PM

    I have to add that contessa has the guts to stand up for the men. On the other hand, I have been raped by men and women as a toddler. I have to admit that a woman forcefully made me do things that I did not know was morally wrong. As a toddler, I was forced to lick her between the legs, and eat the butt, use my finger to do fingering things, I was forced or I had my butt whipped. I was at the baby sitters house. I was about 3 years old. I still remember the horror. Now to the feminists, You all can go to hell for all I care. You feminist are nothing but Monsters. I am a 36 year old man who believes women are threats to society. But I was also raped by men too. I have been messed up mentally and socially. I cannot describe the pain that I am suffering. Alot of time I feel like vomiting. I do feel for the men who have no rights or being defended for false allegations. I will not and cannot hurt a woman. I do not have the heart to do so. I have been traumatized, I cannot even sleep at night. You will have to understand that Sex is a wonderful thing.

    I cannot fathom that 1 in 4 women have been raped. I can say this, very few women get raped. most of them are under the women age. like teens. However, females tend to forget the ordeal and go on with their lives. Men on the other hand have to deal with the scars.

    I have been scarred mentally and socially. I am having a hard time keeping a relationship, I do not know what love is. I am having a hard time associating with people.

    I do not know what love is. I wasn;t give a chance. I have been ridiculed in life. I have also been told to step on the bumper of a vehicle to hold on tight to be given a ride home. I have been made fun of because of a drooping eyelid. I have been made fun of because of my social class. I have been made fun of because I am hard of hearing.

    I had men wanting to be my friends because of one thing. They wanted what I have which I worked hard for. I hate it when people use innocent to get what they want.

    As far the school girls are concerned. Karma is a bitch when it comes back. Mark my words, when it comes back, its a rough price to pay. Remember the Fab 5 Texas Cheerleader scandal. They rode high at the time. Now where are they now. They are living on welfare and working at burger joints.

    my name is Phill, I have been through hell. I know what its like being grilled by psychologists and law enforcement officers. It is not fun because of some lies. I almost had my life ruin because of it. Now people forget as they get older. Now I am seeing the same who put me through hell are suffering the pain themselves.

  26. Robin on October 19, 2009 at 9:08 AM

    My brother finaly was able to speak to his children after two months of no contact at at all. Because of the accusations he was given supervised visitation for 6 months. He was told her lawyer was looking to make sure he went to jail if they took it to trial. So if myself or my parents want to see the children we have to be “processed” & cleared and must be supervised. My father is so upset. He says what has he done but helped them all these years when they asked. I agree. We are treated like criminals just because she wanted a divorce and all the control.

  27. Daveyone on October 18, 2009 at 3:57 AM

    I first entered Family Court and previously thouight the F4J protest were foolish and whilst I believe they are counter productive I have sympathy with what drives a guy to such desperate protests just to have contact with their kids and have done nothing wrong! Instead of getting bitter and twisted over this which would have been quite easy,I chose to make a 6 year study of it and some of my conclusions have shown how bad it is in the UK with ineffectual Law ministers in Lord Falconer , Barness Scotland and Jack Staw and it will be interesting to see if the New (Opened this month) Supreme court of appeal with serve those who have been done wrong in County courts!
    As bad as it is in the UK I did not realise it was a worldwide phenominom and seem as bad in the US with slight State and County variations it is even worse in Canada and whilst courts are a little more open in Australia they still remain far from ideal!
    I intend to blog till this law is reformed and can be found on the UK's leading newspaper thus http://www.thesun.co.uk/discussions/forums/show/S

  28. unjustly served on October 17, 2009 at 1:50 AM

    I have been falsely accused of molesting my daughter. After passing two lie-detector tests and one psychosexual evaluation at a leading center, why on Earth do I still have to defend myself ?
    I need advice: I want my ex-wife to go through a lie-detector test, but I don't know the questions that are relevant as to whether she is training or coaching my daughter. Can anybody help, PLEASE?

  29. Robin on October 16, 2009 at 11:10 AM

    Wow! I did not know how rampant false accusations are. My brother is currently fighting a protective order. The order was gotten with false accusations. He has not been able to see or talk to his children in two months. He was very involved with his children. She had the high paying job. He took a job making less so he could be there for the children. Now he has nothing. His children were his life. How in this day and age can a person be guilty with not proof? He told me he could fight it but it would mean his daughter would have to testify against her mother.
    I don't understand why she had to be so ugly. Why not just get a divorce like most people? I just feel the laws are in place for women that really need that help and she is just thumbing her nose at those women. This just is selfish and keeping the children from their father is the abuse.

  30. Scott on October 14, 2009 at 9:56 AM

    Andrew, I sent you an email!

    Daveyone Our "justice" system is most assuredly 'guilty until proved innocent' and even then you will be considered a risk for no fault of your own….

  31. Daveyone on October 13, 2009 at 11:43 PM

    Much of our brocken societies stem from the incompitences and discrimination perveyed by Family Law Courts, so biased accounts that go unchallenged render many good men and above all fathers being slated by vengeful mothers and fee earners (Solicitors/Barristers) exsasibating matters as they have a finanial insentive to do so …..justice will never come into it here!!

  32. Andrew on October 13, 2009 at 11:28 PM

    Scott, I do apprecitate all the support I can get right now. Your moral support and prayers mean more to me than you know. Thank you for taking the time to offer me advice as I feel I keep hitting brick walls. I am continueing to use any and all resources I can in order to fight this false alligation. Here is my email as well, meswilkins@cox.net thank you again for all your advice Scott, I do apprecitate it. I look forward to hearing from you or I will let you know how things are progressing as my court hearing is right around the corner.

  33. Scott on October 13, 2009 at 7:11 AM

    Andrew I hope you will be able to find a lawyer…beg and borrow if you have to because without one it is next to impossible to defend against these false allegations. I wish I could help you but all I can offer is my advice and moral support. Hang in there and I am praying for you and your family that this will work out in a positive manner. If you wish you can email me bluvocal@yahoo.com I would like to keep in touch and help out if I can.

  34. Andrew on October 12, 2009 at 7:38 PM

    Scott, I am sorry to hear everything you have had to endure and all that you have lost because you were falsly accused. I am glad to hear they finally dropped the charges against you. My heart is breaking and I yearn to be with my son each and every moment of everyday. The thought of losing him has destroyed the person I once was and more importantly the person I might have become. Instead I feel alone, confused, angry and sad all at the same time and find myself deperate and drowning in unchartered waters. My horror story is just beginning and I can't imagine it getting any worse and yet I know it will. I would do anything to protect my child from harm but the court has tied my hands. If I had to sell everything I had in order to prove my innocense so that my child would know how much I love him, I would do that! The court has made it almost impossible for me to defend myself as I am sure my clothes will bring little or no money to help in my defense.

  35. Scott on October 12, 2009 at 1:29 PM

    Andrew I feel your pain…I live in Florida as well. GET A LAWYER QUICK! Find one who has experience in these types of matters. My horror story began in August 2008 with my wife's ex accusing me of molesting my step-daughter…I was arrested on December 5th. The arrest warrent had $100,003 bond on it ( signed by a female judge) I wasn't read my rights either…spent the night in jail and had a male judge @ 1st appearance. He lowered the bond to $15,000 (so it was $1500 to bail out). We had to retain my lawyer @ $5,000 pre-trail and if it went to trail it would be another $5,000. We had to pay $650 for a lie detector test by a retired FBI agent and $600 to be examined by a prominent local Psychiatrist both are specialists used by the state. I naturally passed the lie detector and the psycho-sexual examination as I was innocent. My lawyer also found 10-12 descrepancies in the testimonies of my accusers including the DCF investigators. I appeared in court for pre-trail appearances 4 times before a female judge and finally the female prosecutor dropped the charges after my lawyer presented my case to the head prosecutor (a male) who said I never should have been charged in the first place. Naturally, during all of this, the ex-husband went before the family court and futher barred visitation from my wife and our lawyer got that remedied to be visitation as long as I'm not present. And of course the ex violates this order and refuses to allow much contact between my wife and her daughter. We do not have the resources @ this time to persue it and fix it as upon my arrest, I lost my job as a manager and was reduced in rank and pay progressively, lost my health insurance, almost lost my house, may lose my car…and I still consider myself lucky. I have not seen nor spoken to my step-daughter since August 2008. So get a lawyer, I recommend doing a lie-detector test and a psycho-sexual exam prior to being arrested (in an effort to not be arrested) because DCF will most likely stamp you as a verifyed abuser and recommend you be arrested. DCF will manipulate evidence and lie to get you arrested. So GET A LAWYER! (and my story was in a nutshell… the pain is very real and consumming)

  36. Andrew on October 12, 2009 at 12:23 PM

    On October 1st I returned home from work to find out my girlfriend of 5 years and mother to my 3 year old son was having a relationship with another man. To say I was devestated would be an understatement. We began arguing and she wanted me to leave our home and I refused and said "I'll be damned if someone else is going to sleep in my bed". An arguement ensued and I took her cell phone to read the text messages she was sending back and forth with this other man. When I returned to our home I was approached by police who asked me what was going on. I explained what had happened and they spoke with her as well and basically said no crime was committed and that they could not enforce anyone leaving but suggested that one of us leaving for a cool down period would be a good idea. The police also stated that while no charges were being filed if they had to come back someone would most likely be going to jail. At that point I called my Mom and asked her if I could come spend the night with her so that the situation didn't esculate. I had plans of joining the military and had recently taken the asvab test and was waiting on my physical. While at my mothers I made a decision I was not going to go back, while I wanted to be with my son I did not want to be with someone who could not be faithful to me and had been very vindictive in the past. I had visitation rights with my son as I insisted on this at the time of his birth because we were not married and I wanted to protect my rights as a father should a problem ever occur…..my mom is a paralegal and see's this sort of thing all the time. Because my son was in the residence at the time of this altercation DCF was notified and they came and talked to me about the incident. I told them everything that had happened and at that time I was told of accussations that were being made against me by my x. I was outraged that she had accused me of domestic violence as I have never layed a hand on her or our son in all the years we were together. My family immidiately began to ralley around me and help me fight these accussations and through our own investigative work found out that she had been committing fraud with the state in order to recieve assistance for our son through the many different agencies. My mother contacted the DCF hotline for fraud and abuse and told my x that she had reported her and that she would not use my son as a pawn anymore. The very next day, 1 week after the altercation she went to the court house and filed and injunction for emergency protection and made statements that she had been physically and mentally abused for the past 5 years and was in fear for her life and our sons. Based on that statement alone and with no evidence the judge granted her 100 percent custody and I am only allowed to go to my home one time to pick up clothing and personal hygene stuff. In the 5 years we were together the police have never been called to our home prior to the incident stated above. My son is my pride and joy and has never been abused! The only abuse is her depriving me, a loving father from being with my son. She knows the only way to hurt me is to come between me and my son, whom I adore. I don't have much money and quite honestly after reading all these post I am truely afraid that I won't get a fair hearing. If the judge takes the time to listen to the evidence as well as witnesses I might have a chance but it sounds as though this is not how the proceedings will take place. It was my understanding that I had a right to face my accuser and question her in a court of law, however according to everything that I'm reading and the research I have done that is not the case. In Florida the accussation only needs to be plausable, it falls in the realm of "he said, she said" and if the judge thinks there is the slightest possibility that DV occured than I will not only lose my rights to my child but will also be facing criminal charges as well. Where is the justice in any of this? I recently lost a friend who committed suicide because his girlfriend left him with his newborn child and refused to let him see her. At the time I couldn't understand how someone could take there own life, but now I can feel his pain and I can definately relate. Having your child ripped away from you merely for revenge is about as low as you can go. I am trying to do whatever I can to come up with the money in order to hire an attorney to represent me and protect my son from being taken away from the one person who truely loves him but honestly I am running out of time and resources as my hearing is on the 21st of October. I don't know what to do or where to turn. Could someone please advise me what to do, I feel the weight of the world upon me and the mere thought of losing my son has already killed me inside.

  37. Dean on October 12, 2009 at 7:49 AM

    Angela, I am SHAGDA from antimisandry.com, I read "bobs" post and read your link as well.After reading it I wrote an email to newsdirector@kohd.com expressing need for further investigation, along with that 2 links..If you would like to read the email I sent I have posted it hear..
    http://antimisandry.com/false-allegations/guy-nee

  38. Bob on October 11, 2009 at 5:40 PM

    Angela,

    I have posted your link onto Antimisandry.com and asked people to help with an email campaign to the DA and the local publications. Meanwhile, check out the False Rape Society’s website. They have lots of resources there for people who are falsely accused. Also there is an outfit called Accused Falsely that is a network of lawyers that specialize in false accusations. Tell Kevin that it will cost a lot of money but he is young and can recouparate. It seems to be late in the game now so time is not on Kevin’s side.

  39. Angela on October 7, 2009 at 9:20 AM

    I’m afraid you may be unaware of a great injustice currently happening in Oregon. Local prosecutor Jody Vaughan is currently pursuing false rape charges against a local man. Her tactics are less than ethical and has built “evidence” she knows to be based on lies.The evidence against the alleged “victim”, proving SHE is a repeat liar and crier of wolf is incredible and hard to overlook; unfortunately that is exactly what the Deschutes County District Attorney’s office is doing.

    As a woman, a mother and a victim of rape and sexual assault, it is extremely important to me for a woman to feel safe to report sexual abuse of any kind. I know firsthand the personal power that is regained when looking an offender in the eye and sending them to prison. Regrettably I have also learned that it is far too common for women to hide behind the claim of rape in order to avoid taking personal responsibility for their own actions. The classic he said she said is almost always swayed to the woman’s side, requiring little proof on her end of the alleged events; leaving the accused to fight for their life with little help due to the Rape Shield Law. My concern is that this man is not going to receive a fair trial due to the protections this “victim” has on behalf of the DA’s office. This isn’t the first time she has cried rape falsely and without your help it certainly will not be her last. Please, take the time to follow the link and read the story of Kevin.

    (http://usobserver.com/archive/sept-09/driscoll-september.htm )

    The time is now for something to be done, before another innocent life is ruined. Kevin’s trial begins November 3rd, 2009. Can some please tell me what to do. I know that he has been trying everything to prove his innocents. Any help or information would be great. Thank you

  40. Burton on October 4, 2009 at 2:17 PM

    Shannon, I have a question for you: if you really believe in equality between women and men, then do you think that women who lie about rape should get the same penalty as men who rape? Or do you think that the women who have lied in cases such as Hofstra and Duke U should serve no jail time?

    And if you believe in equality, would you support university programs to raise consciousness about why women lie about rape?

    You say: "The definition of feminism, according to Merriam-Webster, is “: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes”, which means that by definition and practice I fight for the equality of both women and men."

    But this is not a definition which most feminists follow. Please note that Shannon's parade of statistics concentrate on women as victims, but not as perpetrators (of everything from DV to lying about rape). More fundamentally, feminism as it exists in the real world is not about equality. It is about giving women (or I should say, pro-feminist women) certain privileges via affirmative action, government set-asides, womyn's studies departments, and special protection via VAWA and so forth. At the same time they do not demand that women take up the duties of men, such as registering for the draft.

    Feminists, of course, have a long history of being opposed to basic constitutional rights. For example, their support for the Lautenberg Amendment is a violation of the 2nd Amendment. And their Mau Mauing of Larry Summers from the presidency of Harvard shows feminist contempt for Free Speech. And such "oppressive" patriarchal customs as due process and presumption of innocence get tossed out the window to be replaced with hysterical feminist lynch mobs demanding the lynching of innocent men, such as the Duke University Three.

    See my website on Why Feminists Lie About Rape.

  41. A Poor Soul on September 30, 2009 at 5:32 AM

    It is an emotional thing to read this blog. I am a man falsely accused of molesting my children. I have been financially destroyed by my ex and I am fighting desparately to see my children again. IT is a lonely journey and I feel for any man going through this situation.

    As this is occuring in Illinois, I especially feel for anyone in that state. The state definately leans to the mother. My ex can spout off anything she wants and everyone believes her. The fact is she is mentally ill, with a disease that is difficult to diagnose. Even still, they choose to ignore her past, which includes multiple marriages and herself and mother being sexually abused (if it is not a lie)

    I feel as if the only solution will be for her to kill me and get rid of me – this will be a good thing for her, since I have a sizable life insurance policy and she will continue to get the children’s support.

    What makes it difficult is that she is the one abusing the children, by filling them full of lies. Where is the justice. I can’t see the kids at all and she gets them every day! Reading this blog clues me in that there are others out there in the same situation – yet nothing is being done.

    It is difficult, because we have to prove our innocense and there is no easy way to do that. Once this awful accusation is made it is always out there. Noone knows except you and the kids. When the kids are so small, they will never remember and therefore the truth will never be heard. No one will ever listen. That being said it is even difficult to make the claims that you are innocent because criminal attorneys tell you not to talk. District Attorneys will say it is those that protest too much that get thrown in jail, because eventually something said won’t match exactly and then that will be equated to everything being a lie.

    There needs to be better support for this scenario, because it is just not right.

    I can go on and on about my ex telling lies – During hte divorce it was I was physically abusing her, then I was gay, then this lie. She has to be the victim and it is so sad because her ability to manipulate others is great.

    The other unbelievable thing about this situation is that I saw it coming. My friends and family all knew this was going to happen because I told them. You see, my ex taught my children at an inappropriate age some very sexual things. Proper terms for private parts and so forth – it was weird, but I could do nothing except live with it.

    Additionally, my ex did things while we were married to set the stage for her future torture. It was weird and I can only assume frustrating for her, because these “traps” never worked, because they were based on dillusional opionions she was hoping existed.

    In summary, I can add that what gets me through is the faith that when my children are old enough to make their own decisions, they will see the truth. Then they can have a healthy (as much as possible) relationship with their father who loves them and has missed them greatly.

    I pray all they time that my ex doesn’t scar them too badly and that they can have a happy and productive life. I pray that for all children put into this situation.

  42. Relda Copning on September 23, 2009 at 1:29 PM

    September 21, 2009 is the day I witnessed a travesty. In Citrus County Florida a 20 year old man was snatched from the life he knew and thrown into a state prison to serve a 7 year sentence for crimes he DID NOT commit. From the beginning, he pled NOT GUILTY when out of the blue, his attorney advised him to change his plea to no contest. This was with a 7 year cap..the judge could not give him any more than 7 years. He waited in jail for 7 months only to stand before a judge who believed every lie that was told . There is no justice in the country!! There is no innocent until proven guilty!!!! Not for the poor, not for the young. Justice is only served to those who have money and prestige. This country is allowing dirty cops, greedy district attorneys, and biased judges to destroy the decent men we have left.
    This county has gone as far as to sentence a 16 year-old boy with Downs Syndrome to 10 years in a state prison because he stole a 6-pack of beer. That is totally barbaric!!!! This is the “Good Ole Boy” network.
    I witnessed the poorest excuse for justice that could be imagined. A 20 year-old boy, with no prior record, except for an incident when he was 15, was sentenced to the maximum allowed, according to his plea deal. His attorney lied to me and my son after I gave him all the money I had to defend my son and he sold him out. Every lie that was told in that courtroom was held against my son but yet, there was no investigation, only the word of 3 people who were the accusers. Believe me, I heard some extreme lies that day and watched the dramatics performed as well. These people should be in Hollywood. There are so many details to this case and wrongs done to my son, I don’t have the room to type them.
    I fear for my son’s safety in the Florida Prison System. He is not a violent man but will be treated as a violent offender.
    If you ask me why God allowed this to happen I could not tell you. I have asked that question a thousand times myself. No answers!!!
    All I know is this system that is supposed to protect the innocent is sending innocent people to prison and allowing their “chosen few” to walk the streets and destroy other young innocent lives. My son will never be the same. He will be changed forever because a judge decided that my sons life wasn’t as important as the liars in the courtroom. Liars and thieves rule the world so why not a little courtroom in Florida?
    I raised my son to believe that you only have to pay for the bad things you do. As of September 21, 2009 I retracted that statement. I’m the reason he believed in a system that threw him away. Now I have to stand back and watch that same system try to destroy him. There will be an end to all the dirty cops, greedy DA’s and biased judges but until then innocent people continue to be prosecuted and imprisoned for crimes they did not commit. One day God will pass judgment on all who have not followed His word but what about now? How many lives have to be destroyed before people start saying ENOUGH??? Do we just sit back and allow these people to destroy our kids? I won’t!! I will talk until someone listens that can help change things.

  43. Nick on September 14, 2009 at 9:13 AM

    I'll also say, that prior to this occurring, I worked in both private security as well as political, non-profit issue advocacy campaigning, both of which have been difficult if not impossible to obtain work in since…

  44. Nick on September 14, 2009 at 9:10 AM

    Feminism is not the root cause of the problems faced by those like myself, who have been subjected to unjust, unfair, unconstitutional criminal penalties due to the vindictive lies told by spiteful former relations and the highly flawed, reactionary laws such as the well marketed and over reaching VAWA. I would say that feminism is the struggle for equality between the sexes in the face of a highly unfair history of gender inequality.

    What I would refer to the forces and supporters of gender bias legislation of this variety as, would have to be female superiorism. Combating sexism with more sexism and perversions of justice and combating a social ill with rash, emotionally gratifying breaches of due process. I say this because an intelligent feminist will recognize injustice for what it is, while supporters of a system of punishment enacted upon simple accusation, without any burden of proof required (female superiorists) care only for the past injustices done to women. They feel that these injustices and the social ills that are domestic abuse, warrant the punishment of all men and the "empowerment" of women, not to a level equal with their male counterparts, but above them.

    Under the Violence Against Women's Act, criminal convictions can be found and criminal penalties applied, without a criminal burden of proof being met. Simple accusation and often emotional appeals, can be enough to have a man's Constitutionally protected rights to free speech, the right to bear arms, the right to a due process the right to see his own children made the subject of one's mood and spite.

    When debate is raised, it is quickly squashed by accusations that abuse of the system are either marginal or non-existent and that those who disagree are either ignorant of abuse, condoning of the practice or abusers themselves.

    I myself have been a victim of these biased and unjust laws. The victim of a mentally deranged, sociopath, hell bent on ruining my life out of spite due to the failure of our relationship. Our daughter had just been born and we were struggling to make ends meet. While I was bending over backwards to make the money we needed to get by, she was demanding plastic surgery to restore the body she had once modeled with to its former state. While I wrangled the impossible and endless paper work and meetings to obtain social assistance, she watched Seinfeld and insisted upon running off any old friends or family I had when it came to seeing the baby. As time went on, I noticed a pattern emerging, beyond these superficial selfish concerns, as she would continually talk about how the baby "hated her" and how she was thinking of killing herself.

    I spent weeks getting her into treatment, scared that she may hurt herself or someone else. After three weeks of treatment, her mental state continued to deteriorate. A social worker asked if I was willing to help commit her to a hospital, but at the time, I still thought I could help her. Two weeks later, I returned home from work to find her and the baby gone. I called the social workers, the mental health facility and even her family, but no one knew where she was. Then, just before I was readying to call police, she called.

    She said she had moved out and that she couldn't live with me any longer. When I asked where she was, she said she couldn't say and that I couldn't see our newborn daughter. I told her that if she wanted to leave me it was fine, but that I wouldn't permit her to keep Quinn (our daughter) from me. She agreed to a preliminary visitation schedule and the next weekend we met in the Walmart parkinglot. She said I would need to bring Quinn back by six and when I asked why, she refused to answer. I asked if she needed money and she said yes, asking for fifty dollars. I gave her a hundred.

    I spent the day with my daughter and unsure of what I should do, I reluctantly returned her to her mother at the same Walmart. We agreed upon another visitation the following weekend at the same time. The next weekend, as I woke up and got ready to leave, a call came. It was an hour early but my ex had called to ask with a venomous tone "are you coming to pick up your daughter?"

    "Yes," I said, "I'll be right there." On my way, I was diverted due to road construction onto a detour through a residential neighborhood where two blocks up, I saw her. She was in her car with the baby in the back stopped at a stop sign. I drove up and we pulled over onto a side street together.

    Approaching her car I noticed she hadn't rolled her window down or gotten out, but instead sat staring angrily at the wheel. I knocked on the glass and after a moment she rolled it down.

    "She can't see you today, she has a play date with Trevor." She spat.

    "Tabi, she's twelve weeks old. Trevor's five. Besides, its my time with her."

    "I need more money Nick. I need at least two hundred. I need gas, she needs food," (even though Tabi had taken the month's worth of baby food granted to us by social services) "You can't see her till I get the money."

    I at the time was broke due to a bi-weekly pay cycle. "I don't have any Tabi. I'll get you some when I get paid."

    At that, she started up her car, looked at me and said "no." As she drove off, I said aloud, "Stop acting like a bitch and let me see my little girl!"

    She stopped, backed up and looked at me with a smirk. "Oh I'm a bitch, huh?"

    "You are acting like one." I replied. Once again she drove off. I got in my car and immediately called our social worker, who had become increasingly distant as our problems developed. As I drove and explained the situation, I saw her up ahead. Tabi was pulled over, talking to the cop on traffic duty at the detour beginning. He waved me over and I hung up with the social worker.

    He approached my car and leaning over asked if I had just threatened Tabi and my daughter with a gun. I told him I didn't have a gun, that he could search me if he liked and that Tabi was mentally deranged. Shaking his head he said "you two need to settle this in court. It'll only get worse otherwise." He was so right…

    A little under a week later, two sheriffs arrived at my door to serve me with a temporary restraining order. They demanded to search my apartment, the confiscated my pistol, a decorative sword and a pocket knife. I was given a court date and at court, during the 15 minute hearing, in which Tabi faked crying and told a wild tale of me screaming at her and sticking a gun in the baby's face for ten minutes, with the judge asking simply if I had been arrested for it and if I had "anything to say," half way through which he interrupted me saying he would "take it under advisement."

    A week later I was served with the final order. My apartment was searched again and I was given my court orders, restricting me from seeing my daughter more than 10 hours a week, sometimes going two weeks without seeing her at all, forcing me to pay $100 a week, even though I only pulled in $270 and subjecting me, as I would find, to Tabi's whims and mood.

    I, not having the money to fight it, went along with the absurd schedule, hoping in time things would get better. During this time, Tabi had moved to New Haven (three hours away) with a new boyfriend. After about two months, she came to me during the exchange at the police station, asking if I would sign over my rights as a father and let them move to Florida with the new boyfriend. I said I would not give my little girl up for anything and that was the end of it.

    Two weeks later, while dropping my little lady off with her mother, Tabi arrived and took the baby, saying to her "ok baby, say goodbye to Nick, we're going to see daddy."

    Muttering as I walked out to avoid saying something rash, I said "never going to happen." Later that night, as I was home at my apartment, five officers arrived and called me down to the landing. They asked if I had seen my ex that day. I said I had. They asked if I called her a skank whore. I said I hadn't. They then, with a sigh of resignation, told me I was under arrest for violation of the DVP.

    I spent two days in jail because Tabi was pissed and decided to lie again. Months and a thousand dollars of borrowed money later, when the trial came around, Tabi didn't even show up to testify. The charge was dropped, but a week later I received a letter from the clerk dated the day of the trial, in which Tabi had filed a new claim saying I abused and neglected my daughter. I went to the hearing and read a prepared statement I wrote, outlining how Tabi had gamed the system and caused me to miss the majority of my young child's life and development.

    He dismissed the case with no finding. Upon this, I decided it was time to take action and running right up to the clerk's office I filed paperwork bringing a complaint of contempt and request for modification against her. The case was heard and while my modification request was honored and I was granted more time with my little one, the contempt items were dismissed without even being heard. Now, a year later, I receive word that the vindictive sociopath is requesting an extension of her order, demanding I remain under her yoke.

    I never threatened her ever and never could she produce a shred of evidence nor keep a story straight. Repeated false accusations flying left and right, with my defense falling on deaf ears every time. I've since learned that under VAWA, the burdens of proof for these criminal complaints need only live up to a civil claim and that courts are incentivized to find in the plaintiffs favor regardless of facts or circumstances.

    Its disgusting and for anyone who supports this draconian sexism, for shame…

  45. Connie Chastain on August 29, 2009 at 11:04 AM

    I've always been uneasy about feminism, but the past few years, I've become aware of specific damage it has done our culture. I was particularly appalled at the false accusations of rape and sexual harassment, and the mindless lumping of all men in the "evil" category. It inspired me to write a novel about a man falsely accused of sexual harassment, and the grief he and his family experience as a result. I invite you to visit my website to learn more, and to email me with comments.

  46. Warren Maynard on August 20, 2009 at 6:26 AM

    I am going in to fight a restraining order from a girl who lived with me. When she left, she stole 800 dollars cash, tools that I had in my car, etc… Before I was even in town she had a stalker order started. When I reported the thief, I was told by law enforcement, "Good luck with that," and pretty much laughed at. Two days later, there was a restraining order.

    They did not laugh when I said I wanted at least 8 subpoenas. If anyone is interested in what happens, the case number is 190918011. It will be heard on September 8, 2009 at 9:02am in Eugene, Oregon, at the Lane County Court in the Show Cause room.

  47. christina haviland on August 14, 2009 at 1:29 PM

    A year ago my husband and i took his daughter from his mom whom had been raising her since she was very small. Reason was his daughter had been causing grandma to much stress, and when she was arrested for vandalizing a school my husband said no more. and she came to live with us. he always wanted her with us he just didnt want her to feel forced until this. not only did she get arrested she wasnt attending any school for almost 2 years and she was only 13. well since then shes been having a issue with not being spoiled rotten since my husband and i have a total of five kids . she didnt want to have to do chores because she had always had everything done by grandma. So her first move was to run to the school councelor claim a bunch of things that werent true about us and cps opened an investigation that lasted about maybe a week or two and the case worker closed it when she decided it wasnt at all true. so then she decided she wanted to run her own life come and go with whomever, when ever she chose…. Not in our home. I guess since the cps thing didnt work she then decided shed run away with a boyfriend we found her almost imediately and shes done it 2 more times since and each time finding a better spot to hide. the second time she was caught she was heard by my sister in law telling cops all sorts of crazy lies about her dad and i trying to get us in trouble. but cops didnt believe her. well now after many promises to not do that again we trusted to let her not be watched constantly. She ran again but this time i had a horrible time finding her location and the cops and i finally did. at this point my husband and i were terrified she was dead or something and when they found her she went full on about her crazy alligations again only this time she stewed up the bigest lie ever. she told police there was drugs and sexual abuse from her father and once again shes got cps in our lifes and with this its almost impossible to prove that shes lying and not to mention the police are investigating to bring charges. I dont know how she could say such a thing and about her blood father but im unable to see her and speak to her right now and cps dont know what to believe. they spoke with every kid in our house and even grandparents and a friend of hers who say this is crazy and a lie. But today it was asked that we sign a temp release till the investigations over , and so shes in foster care, and my whole life is crumbling and i dont know what to do to stop it from ruining my husbands life and hes not ok with being looked at like a creep who messes with kids, thats gross but how do we turn this around to be the truth and make them see shes just a angry kid. i dont want them in my life and no one will tell me if she even is aware how serious this can be for her father and i know we have to have a way to do this or rights that they are walking on ive got five kids so the money is tight barely make the rent and bills everymonth so i cant hire a lawyer. can anyone help me find the answers or resources i can use to stop this disaster we are good people and good parents

  48. John Dias on August 10, 2009 at 2:06 AM

    Jaded Man:

    I would strongly caution you to think hard about whether to accept that plea bargain; it's essentially an admission of guilt — guilt for committing a sex crime against children. Once you do accept a plea bargain, you'll be put on your state's list of registered sex offenders, and you may never again be able to obtain stable and gainful employment. If your plea includes jail time, know that prisoners who were convicted of sex crimes against children are often attacked by fellow prisoners. And even once you've been released from jail, there's also your ongoing reputation to worry about.

    Despite all that you have written about the heavy-handedness of the law, your right to a jury trial is still inviolable. Utilize it. Expect your public defender to strong-arm you into accepting a plea-bargain, but that's what they do because they're so underfunded, and they don't like defending the not-guilty in an expensive jury trial. Just remember: no matter what your public defender tells you, you are NOT required to accept a plea bargain. If you do decide to utilize your right to a trial, then too bad for the public defender; he'll have to do his job. It's your life on the line; don't be pushed around.

  49. Jaded Man on August 9, 2009 at 11:38 PM

    Sheesh, sorry to ramble on like that. You can see how frazzled I am about this. Being falsely accused ruins peoples’ lives. I read all the stories above and I can relate to all of them (except Shannon’s biased posts). I nearly went insane being in a cell for a week (I have BiPolar, ADHD, PTSD, and now added a full Panic Disorder after this all started.) I don’t know what will happen to my mind sitting in a 6×8 cell for 23 hours a day for a year. I wish I could afford a real lawyer. But, I am going against the STATE. They have endless pockets for this kind of criminal trial. And endless votes for legislating against those falsely accused.

  50. Jaded Man on August 9, 2009 at 11:26 PM

    My story is a strange one. I am a good Dad who married an unstable woman who basically lives like a gypsy going from guy to guy like a bee goes from flower to flower. I tried to give my daughter a stable life and teach her right from wrong, but thanks to my ex’s devil-may-care attitude, my daughter was molested when she was just a baby by my ex’s new husband. I got sole custody of her after that. But, who knows what damage it did to her head, so I gave her a lot of slack because of it. She was a decent kid up until she started to come into her teen years. Then, she became a monster. My health went downhill and I had a stroke that took most of the vision in one of my eyes and disabled me for life due to other side effects of the stroke afterward. I tried and tried to get my daughter to behave. We moved in with my parents because I lost the house due to rising medical bills, and she fell in with a bad crowd at school. Disciplinary reports mounted and mounted. I had to ground my daughter several times and take things away from her at times. She didn’t like that one bit and decided she was going to start spinning a story about me molesting her around town and at school. The Police and other authorities were constantly telling me to put her on “CHINS” which means Child In Need Of Services. What it REALLY means is you are giving your child over to the state and they have every right to do what they want with him/her. I refused initially. My daughter got so bad that the her accusations were investigated by Child Services and the Police. It was found out that she was constantly changing her story and they found the accusations unfounded. I sent her to live with relatives (my ex’s) and she became a nightmare for them as well. So, like an idiot, I took her back into the home. She promised to stop the accusations and admitted to my mother that nothing ever happened. Well, soon she was up to her old tricks again and the trouble escalated. She pulled a knife on me, knocked my elderly mother to the ground once, and disturbed my elderly father so much that he nearly had a heart attack and had to be hospitalized. So, I figured the “CHINS” program was my only out. I put her on it and she decided it was time for real revenge on me. She started her story about being molested again and this time wanted to make it stick. She, and a friend, got a hold of my computer and planted Child Porn on it. They planted it in several places on the drive and left discs that were labeled like I label my own archive discs (full of games and movies). The police and the child services people stormed our home, took my PC, took my daughter, and dragged me off to jail after tackling me, bending my arm back up to my neck and telling me to stop resisting! I spent a week in Jail till my parents sold my old car and gathered up some other savings to bail me out. The system has been totally against me since. I was arraigned WITHOUT a lawyer present, never read my rights, and found guilty by a circuit court and not the superior court. So, my daughter is still in their custody and contentedly going from foster home to foster home because she can’t behave. She contacted my mother a couple times and said she was having a great time. They have her on all sorts of meds. And here I sit with a child pornography possession hanging over my head. The system considers me guilty until proven innocent because I own the PC where the images were found. The investigating officer is even trying to get me convicted of distributing the child porn because I had many pirated games and movies. He feels I was trafficking based on that alone. This has been a nightmare for my family and I. None of us sleep well, if at all. This has been going on for a year. My public defender is useless because he knows little about computers and our so-called expert thinks I am guilty because they left the discs behind. Lots of people don’t think teenage girls are capable of this level of framing someone, but I am living proof that they are. I will most likely be accepting a plea deal because they are offering me 1 year at county versus the 7 years at state. I am poor. I have no choice. If I fight, I’ll most likely lose because the law is skewed against ANYONE who is accused of such a heinous crime. Like someone said before: WHERE is the justice?? I’ve entertained the thought of suicide several times but haven’t gotten to that level yet. I will have to register for LIFE once I get out. All for a teenager’s revenge and my attempt to be a decent dad who protects her daughter from being a plaything for teen boys. That’s my reward.

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